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What's Your Favourite Fawlty Towers Quote?  
User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 48
Posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 11582 times:

There are just so many to choose between, but here are some of my personal favourites;

Some of the best quotes come from the episode with the deaf woman.  Smile
I don't have a transcript of the best part of the episode, but it goes something like this:

Basil has won money on a horse, but doesn't want Sybil to know. When he realises she is becoming suspicious, he goes to Manuel who placed the bet for him, to make sure he keeps quiet about it.

Manuel: "Ah, Mr.Fawlty, your horse, it win!"
Basil: "Shh! Manuel, you know nothing!"
Manuel: "Que?"
Basil: "You know nothing."
Manuel: "I know nothing?"
Basil: "Right!" (begins to walk away)
Manuel: "You always say that, but I learn. I learn."
Basil: "No, you don't understand."
Manuel: "Si, I do!"
Basil: "No, you know nothing about the horse."
Manuel: "I know nothing about the horse."
Basil: "Exactly!"
Manuel: "Which horse I know nothing about?"
Basil: "My horse, nitwit!"
Manuel: "Your horse nitwit."
Basil: "No, Dragonfly!"
Manuel: "Ah, si si."
Basil: "Right? Forget everything you know about the horse."
Manuel: "Which horse, Dragonfly or nitwit?"
Basil: "Dragonfly! You're the nitwit!"
Manuel: "What is witnit?"
Basil: "Oh, I could be having this conversation for the rest of my life... Look, try to understand before one of us dies, ok?"

Another great one is from the rat episode. When Basil and Sybil are trying to figure out what to do with Manuels rat.

Basil:"I thought we'd let him out into the wild, give it it's freedom."
Sybil:"Well you can let him out in the wild."
Basil:"Why not?"
Sybil: "He's domesticated, isn't he?"
Basil: "Well you're domesticated and you do alright. Look it's not like he's gonna get mugged by a gang of field mice."
Sybil: "We could advertise him in the papers and see if someone wants him."
Basil: "Oh brilliant, I'll get started straight away. 'Home wanted for huge savage rodent.' (Sybil walks away and basil mutters) '...answers to the name of Sybil."

And the ever classic:

German: Will you stop mentioning the war?
Basil: You started it.
German: We did not start it.
Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland...


Thom@s Big grin


"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
19 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineRichardPrice From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 11572 times:

Sybil: 'Where do you think you are going Basil?'
Basil: 'Im going to see Mr Oreilly, dear. And then I think I might go to Canada.'

Or

Basil: 'Oh, German. I'm sorry, I thought there was something wrong with you. '

Or

Basil: 'I've been trying to get through to the speaking clock... Well, it's engaged... Well, it's been engaged for ten minutes. How is this possible? My wife isn't talking to it. '


User currently offlinePlymSpotter From Spain, joined Jun 2004, 11572 posts, RR: 61
Reply 2, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 11572 times:

Quoting Thom@s (Thread starter):
German: Will you stop mentioning the war?
Basil: You started it.
German: We did not start it.
Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland...

That one, it still makes me laugh even now bigthumbsup 

Dan Smile



...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
User currently offlineKevinL1011 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 2964 posts, RR: 49
Reply 3, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 11568 times:

" A pigeon! A pigeon! Like your English!"



474218, Carl, You will be missed.
User currently offlineBaroque From Australia, joined Apr 2006, 15380 posts, RR: 59
Reply 4, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 11562 times:

Manuel: Iss Filigree Siberian Hamster (The Rat)

Basically, some of the funniest bits are those you missed the first second or even third time you saw it. We know roughly how long each episode took to script, I wonder how many iterations there were for some of the lines.

Does anyone else have friends who find Basil's travails so agonizing they cannot bear to watch?


User currently offlineTrident3 From United Kingdom, joined Jun 2001, 1013 posts, RR: 2
Reply 5, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 11562 times:

"What do you expect to see from a Torquay hotel bedroom window? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon?" Big grin


"We are the warrior race-Tough men in the toughest sport." Brian Noble, Head Coach, Great Britain Rugby League.
User currently offlineYOWza From Canada, joined Jul 2005, 4845 posts, RR: 16
Reply 6, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 14 hours ago) and read 11548 times:

Quoting RichardPrice (Reply 1):
Basil: 'Oh, German. I'm sorry, I thought there was something wrong with you. '



Quoting KevinL1011 (Reply 3):
" A pigeon! A pigeon! Like your English!"

My two favourites.

YOWza



12A whenever possible.
User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 48
Reply 7, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 14 hours ago) and read 11543 times:

Quoting Baroque (Reply 4):
Basically, some of the funniest bits are those you missed the first second or even third time you saw it. We know roughly how long each episode took to script, I wonder how many iterations there were for some of the lines.

I have lost count of how many times I've seen the episodes, but there is nearly always something new and funny I had not noticed before. You can tell that many of the jokes go un-noticed by the audience too.

Quoting Trident3 (Reply 5):
"What do you expect to see from a Torquay hotel bedroom window? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon?"

Sorry, I just have to complete that. Hillarious scene.

Basil: Well, may I ask what you were hoping to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom-window? Sidney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest? sweeping majestically?
Mrs Richards: Don't be silly. I expect to be able to see the sea.
Basil: You can see the sea. It's over there between the land and the sky.
Mrs Richards: You call that a view?
Basil Fawlty: Well perhaps you should consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea, preferably in it.

Thom@s  rotfl 



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineIFEMaster From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 14 hours ago) and read 11520 times:

This...



And this...



User currently offlineAirwave From United States of America, joined Mar 2006, 1117 posts, RR: 3
Reply 9, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 14 hours ago) and read 11518 times:

Ahhh, good show, gooood show.  Smile

Basil: "Right, well I'll go and have a lie down then. No I won't; I'll go and hit some guests."

And can't forget this classic, though I forget who says it, "A satisfied customer? We should have him stuffed."

Great stuff.


Airwave  eyebrow 



When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
User currently offlineBaroque From Australia, joined Apr 2006, 15380 posts, RR: 59
Reply 10, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 13 hours ago) and read 11508 times:

Can anyone, presumably a Canadian, tell what happened to the owner of the hotel in Torquay who inspired all this?

Or alternatively, Basil, phone home!


User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 48
Reply 11, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 13 hours ago) and read 11497 times:

Quoting Baroque (Reply 10):
Can anyone, presumably a Canadian, tell what happened to the owner of the hotel in Torquay who inspired all this?

I believe it was damaged in a fire. What I know for sure is that it was demolished years ago.  

Sorry, misread that post first time. I was going on about the building used in the series...

Thom@s

[Edited 2006-07-14 18:38:24]


"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8615 posts, RR: 44
Reply 12, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 12 hours ago) and read 11481 times:

Quoting KevinL1011 (Reply 3):
" A pigeon! A pigeon! Like your English!"

You beat me to it! Big grin



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineSrbmod From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 12 hours ago) and read 11478 times:

Basil's abuse toward Manuel was always funny:

Basil Fawlty: [indicating Sybil] This, Basil's wife.
[indicating himself]
Basil Fawlty: This, Basil. This, smack on head.
[smacks Manuel on the head]

My absolute favorite quote, as it leds to my favorite moment of the entire series:

[Basil's car won't start]
Basil Fawlty: START. Start, you vicious bastard. Oh my God. I'm warning you, if you don't start... I'll count to three. 1, 2, 3, right, that does it.
[Gets out]
Basil Fawlty: I'm going to give you a damn good thrashing.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/1024/fawltytowers_3.jpg


User currently offline747srule From United States of America, joined Mar 2004, 427 posts, RR: 0
Reply 14, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week 6 hours ago) and read 11442 times:

The Germans. I'm just trying to cheer her up you stupid krauts. I do the funny walk then. Absolutely hilarious!!!


Jesus is the way,the truth,and the life
User currently offlineBA747400 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 428 posts, RR: 3
Reply 15, posted (7 years 9 months 1 week ago) and read 11415 times:

Quoting Srbmod (Reply 13):
My absolute favorite quote, as it leds to my favorite moment of the entire series:

[Basil's car won't start]
Basil Fawlty: START. Start, you vicious bastard. Oh my God. I'm warning you, if you don't start... I'll count to three. 1, 2, 3, right, that does it.
[Gets out]
Basil Fawlty: I'm going to give you a damn good thrashing.

Honestly, can i just tell you that every time i see this scene of the episode i absolutly split my bloody sides laughing!!! That is, without a doubt, the FUNNIEST episode of any Fawlty Towers series i have seen. John is plain mad and thats all there is too it.

Mike


User currently offlineSean377 From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2001, 1225 posts, RR: 42
Reply 16, posted (7 years 9 months 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 11406 times:

O'Reilly: The problem with you, Mr. Fawlty, is that you worry too much. You keep it up like this, you'll have a stroke before fifty. Stone dead you'll be.
Basil Fawlty: Suits me.
O'Reilly: Oh! That's a dreadful thing to say.
Basil Fawlty: Not at all. Get a bit of peace.
O'Reilly: Don't be so morbid. The Good Lord made the world so that we could all enjoy ourselves.
Basil Fawlty: Look, my wife enjoys herself. I worry.
O'Reilly: Well, let me tell you, if the Lord had meant us to worry, he would have given us things to worry about.
Basil Fawlty: HE HAS! MY WIFE!! She will be back here in four hours and she can kill a man at ten paces with one blow of her tongue! How am I supposed not to worry?
O'Reilly: Just remember, Mr. Fawlty, there's always somebody worse off than yourself.
Basil Fawlty: Is there? Well I'd like to meet him. I could do with a laugh.
O'Reilly: You'll have to worry for the both of us. I tell you, if the Good Lord---
Basil Fawlty: ---is mentioned ONCE more, I shall move you closer to him!



Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man... Landing is the first!
User currently offlineVH-KCT* From Australia, joined May 2001, 479 posts, RR: 2
Reply 17, posted (7 years 9 months 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 11390 times:

Ah so you're the rat inspector! Oh, sorry, Fawlty; starling inspector

Oh I'm sorry, most of the English cars have steering wheels

My dear lady, a knock on the head like that... is worth two in the bush



I am The Stig
User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 48
Reply 18, posted (7 years 9 months 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 11349 times:

Oh, and the hospital scene where the nurse tries to get Basil back to bed is good too.

Nurse: "Come now, back to bed."
Basil: "Don't touch me I don't know where you've been."
Nurse: "Yes, we must make jokes must we not?"
Basil: "Yes... My god you're ugly, aren't you? Unbelieveable..."
Sybil: "Basil!"
Nurse: "I'll go get the doctor."
Basil: "You need a plastic surgeon dear, not a doctor!"

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineFrancoBlanco From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (7 years 9 months 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 11326 times:

Basil: "There is too much butter on those trays!"
Manuel: "Que?"
Basil: "I said, there is too much butter ON THOSE TRAYS!"
Manuel: "No sir. Not ON THOSE TRAYS, it´s UN, DOS, TRES!"

Sebastian


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