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If You Have To &%*! In Your Car, Do It Elsewhere!  
User currently offlineSaxdiva From United States of America, joined Jun 2004, 2382 posts, RR: 41
Posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4671 times:

Okay, folks, I need some ideas...

Over the last few months, an occasional problem has turned into a serious nuisance around here: people are regularly using the area in front of our house and those on either side of us (as well as right across the street) as a sort of local "Lover's Lane." It seems the combination of no streetlights for several hundred yards, a lot of overhanging trees, and a popular restaurant/nightspot just a little farther up the hill are irresistable on a romantic summer night. And while I don't freak out at the thought of folks suddenly needing to be, um... intimate, like right NOW... I do object when they park in front of my house, make an evening of it, and then dump their trash, used condoms, and sanitary objects on the sidewalk, which has been happening several nights a week now. Not to mention that it's just plain creepy when I get home late, pull up as close to my house as possible and park, and walk right past a bouncing vehicle whose occupants are either completely oblivious to my presence (not likely, since I parked right behind them), or are so drunk they don't care (way more likely, I suspect). The other problem is since these are probably random teens and 20-somethings who've probably been out partying, I don't know whether they might also be drinking, getting stoned, gettin' busy with prostitutes or underage kids, or what, and I sure don't want it happening practically in my front yard.

Anyhow... I need a solution, and I'm looking for ideas. Trimming the trees isn't an option, apparently, because the ones in front of my house (between the sidewalk and the street) are owned by the city and no tree service will touch them. These last couple of nights, I've been calling the police. They've been as helpful as possible, but this is a busy city, and I hate having to waste their time with this ridiculous problem. I've also called the city and although they've promised to check it out, I think the real probability of getting a new streetlight is kinda slim. I do have a tree in my yard, about ten meters from the street, that has an electrical line up the trunk--we use it for a walkway light.

Any suggestions? I just got in from picking up a new batch of garbage, and I'm getting reallllly tired of this...

-Leanne

60 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineFumanchewd From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4656 times:

Place a statue of a bassinette in your front yard. Smile Even though they may be using protection, it will still cause them to move on.

User currently offlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20785 posts, RR: 62
Reply 2, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4656 times:

Take photos, post them on a website.  devil 


International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 3, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4656 times:

Get one of those canned air horns. Guaranteed to ruin the mood. Oh, and tell the OPP to patrol a bit.


"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently onlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 40035 posts, RR: 74
Reply 4, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4646 times:

Saxdiva:
Oh come on, when did you become a prude? Big grin

I used to know of a place in Burbank down the hill from the Castaways Restaurant that was on a street with no streetlights for several hundred yards and a lot of overhanging trees. That was much better than spending $90 for a hotel room.
Perhaps putting up a sign letting them to properly dispose of there condoms would be a good idea.



Bring back the Concorde
User currently offlineLOT767-300ER From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4636 times:

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 3):
Get one of those canned air horns. Guaranteed to ruin the mood. Oh, and tell the OPP to patrol a bit.

Great idea man.

You can also just go outside with a video camera, stand in your yard and they will see you eventually and will be scared shitless. Of course tape the license plates!


User currently offlineFumanchewd From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4636 times:

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 2):
Take photos, post them on a website. devil

That's actually a great idea. You could even make money off of outdoor sex/ voyeur shots. Alot of people secretly take photo's of people bonking and sell them on the internet. I made a pretty penny off of my parents until they noticed the hole in the David Hockney.

[Edited 2006-07-25 05:50:23]

User currently offlineCanuckpaxguy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4636 times:

If the city won't install street lights near your house, and the police don't patrol the street at all, I think your best bet is to call the local media and have them make a story out of it. This could be a really fun human-interest piece. Imagine how humiliating that might be when a news crew catches you and your mistress or boyfriend (or both).

You could also set up a strobe light to imitate the flash of a camera.
People may think they've been caught and leave. (Then again, that might make the situation worse).

I'll ask around the office tomorrow. We're a pretty creative bunch.
We'll have your problem licked (pardon the word) by tomorrow evening.

G


User currently offlineBristolFlyer From United Kingdom, joined May 2004, 2309 posts, RR: 0
Reply 8, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4636 times:

Make your own street lights - buy a 500w floodlight (only about $15) and turn it on facing the car when the occupants are about to get it on. That should give them a fright.

Do you know if it's the same people every time? If so once you've scared them off a couple of times they probably won't return.

BF



Fortune favours the brave
User currently offlineANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4636 times:

Call the local constabulary - tell them there's a drug deal going on in front of your house . . . or some such suspicious activity . . . of course, your local constabulary actually has to give a crap . . . and show up. Roust 'em outta there.

Better yet, send Mr. Diva out there with a Remington and have him investigate a "suspicious vehicle" parked in front of your house.  biggrin 

Quoting Saxdiva (Thread starter):
The other problem is since these are probably random teens and 20-somethings who've probably been out partying, I don't know whether they might also be drinking, getting stoned, gettin' busy with prostitutes or underage kids, or what, and I sure don't want it happening practically in my front yard.

All the more reason to alert the authorities.


User currently onlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 40035 posts, RR: 74
Reply 10, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4622 times:

My gosh, you folks sound like prudes!

I live a block away from Golden Gate park and the part near my house is popular for outdoor sex. It's quiet, clean & safe. Luckily there are lots of trash cans and people are respectful and dispose of there condoms.

Quoting Fumanchewd (Reply 6):
I made a pretty penny off of my parents until they noticed the hole in

Videotaping your parents?  Wow!
YUCK!


The next Albert Eienstien could very well be concieved in the car parked out in from of your house.  Smile



Bring back the Concorde
User currently offlinePiercey From Sweden, joined Nov 2005, 2233 posts, RR: 1
Reply 11, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4614 times:

Get a shotgun, fill it with a blank, shoot at the car. They'll sober up pretty quick.

Floodlight the parking spot

strobe lights

get plates

smash windows with baseball bat

media

all else fails, get a car boot and boot the car and make some money off their horniness  Wink



Well I believe it all is coming to an end. Oh well, I guess we are gonna pretend.
User currently offlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20785 posts, RR: 62
Reply 12, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4604 times:

Quoting Superfly (Reply 10):
My gosh, you folks sound like prudes!

Prudish? No, aware of property values, yes!

Quoting Fumanchewd (Reply 6):
You could even make money off of outdoor sex/ voyeur shots.

 yes  Especially if the license plates aren't blurred out, so that the "stars" can be found and flooded with phone calls asking for a "private show".



International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlineFumanchewd From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4604 times:

Quoting Superfly (Reply 10):
Videotaping your parents? Wow!
YUCK!

Ehh. Its nothing I haven't seen before. I'm sure that I got pumped a few times in the head at the age of (-)0-8 months.


User currently onlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 40035 posts, RR: 74
Reply 14, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 4587 times:

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 12):
Prudish? No, aware of property values, yes!

Living in San Francisco, I am very aware of the property values in my area.



Bring back the Concorde
User currently offlineImisspiedmont From United States of America, joined May 2001, 6332 posts, RR: 33
Reply 15, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 4575 times:

Well I doubt that you see this happen so I suggest motion sensor lights.

In my case a 120 lb rottweiller works quite well. I've never seen anything quite so funny as a super quick departure from my property after the bitch goes to say hello. I'd not care if they didn't insist on playing the radio loud enough to hear 1/2 mile away and didn't leave "things" behind.



Damn, this website is getting worse daily.
User currently offlineIlikeyyc From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 1373 posts, RR: 20
Reply 16, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 4562 times:

serious response:

Quoting BristolFlyer (Reply 8):
Make your own street lights - buy a 500w floodlight (only about $15) and turn it on facing the car when the occupants are about to get it on. That should give them a fright.

I like this idea.

funny response:
Or, you could walk up to the car , tap on the window and say: "You have two options. You can go someplace else, or I'm going to join you."



Fighting Absurdity with Absurdity!
User currently offlineBHMBAGLOCK From United States of America, joined Jul 2005, 2698 posts, RR: 5
Reply 17, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 4556 times:

Q beam! Million candlepower or more. Hit em from your window without even having to go out the door.

After blinding them you could have real fun with a bullhorn too, i.e.

"NO! OUT OF THE CAR NOW, I DON"T CARE IF YOU"RE NAKED!"



Where are all of my respected members going?
User currently offlineEvan767 From United States of America, joined Aug 2005, 2957 posts, RR: 2
Reply 18, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 4551 times:

Wow.... I usually never laugh at any of the stupid things posted on this site, but this thread really got me going. Rarely do any posts on A.net that are meant to be funny even bring a smile to my face. This thread is one of the funniest I have ever come across. Some things that I really laughed at:

Quoting Piercey (Reply 11):
media



Quoting Piercey (Reply 11):
smash windows with baseball bat



Quoting LHMARK (Reply 3):
Get one of those canned air horns.



Quoting Piercey (Reply 11):
Floodlight the parking spot



The proper term is "on final" not "on finals" bud...
User currently offlineOly720man From United Kingdom, joined May 2004, 6840 posts, RR: 11
Reply 19, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 4453 times:

Do the M*A*S*H thing. Put a microphone next to the offending vehicle and pump out the, erm, entertainment so everyone can enjoy it.


wheat and dairy can screw up your brain
User currently offlineScbriml From United Kingdom, joined Jul 2003, 12804 posts, RR: 46
Reply 20, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 4442 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 9):
Better yet, send Mr. Diva out there with a Remington

To shave them?  Wow!



Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana! #44cHAMpion
User currently offlineBirdwatching From Germany, joined Sep 2003, 3830 posts, RR: 51
Reply 21, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 4435 times:



Soren  santahat 



All the things you probably hate about travelling are warm reminders that I'm home
User currently offlineZakHH From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 22, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 4435 times:

Put up a sign

User currently offlineLTBEWR From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 13170 posts, RR: 15
Reply 23, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 4406 times:

This is a serious problem for all parties.
Perhaps you should speak with your neighbors who are also being annoyed by this illegal beheavor, to put together a Neighborhood Watch program with the local police. Working with the police, putting up some signs, placement of some lights temporarly could help discourage your neighborhood from being used as a open bedroom. Maybe your group could borrow a mean and nasty dog, (Pit Bull, German Shepard, one with a big set of teeth) and walk it in the area annoying the interlopers.
You and your neighbors should go to the next meeting of your local government, or some representitive you vote for and present your complaints. You could ask for some increases of policing, put in some new or revised parking and other law changes to discourage the parking there as well as put pressure on the nightclub that seems to be the source of the trouble. Politicans love to help their constitutants with such issues to get your vote.


User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 24, posted (8 years 4 months 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 4362 times:

Quoting Superfly (Reply 10):
My gosh, you folks sound like prudes!

I live a block away from Golden Gate park and the part near my house is popular for outdoor sex. It's quiet, clean & safe. Luckily there are lots of trash cans and people are respectful and dispose of there condoms.

Being a "prude" has nothing to do with this. Who wants to walk outside their own house, stroll down their sidewalk or walk around their front yard and have to see used condoms all over the place. Or maybe beer bottles, fast food wrappers and other trash? People can bang - More power to them. Just not in front of my house.


25 LHMARK : Yeah, they should keep this behavior where it belongs- in the Target parking lot.
26 CO7e7 : What about your local police?
27 HAWK21M : What do the Cops say.If they can't do anything.Focus a Flood light on those Areas.The Crowd will vanish in a few Days. regds MEL
28 Post contains images KROC : How did I know that was coming? At least it was dark and not in somebodys front lawn.
29 Post contains images BradWray : You should get one of these..... Bradley!
30 Galapagapop : Add a toll and charge......
31 SlamClick : In all seriousness, with regard to some of these suggestions: You may or may not have their license number but they, for sure, know where you live.
32 JFK69 : Police Siren and flashing Lights.......done and done.
33 Miamiair : My favorite, is a cherry bomb under the car. Hope the guy isn't getting a hummer when it goes off...
34 Post contains images StarAC17 : Just call in that you suspect drug use and ask that the local PD send an officer to check it out and hopefully scare the crap out of the kids or poss
35 Post contains images Falcon84 : Yeah-open up their car door, and ask if you can take photographs. They'll leave right quick.
36 Post contains images Piercey :
37 FlyKev : Sneak up and chuck a bucket of water over the car. No damage, little noise, but will totally ruin their fun inside. Alternatly, steal their hubcaps. F
38 Post contains images BradWray : When they are occupied, put a large pice of paper saying 'Thanks for the great entertanment, Im sure the sherif and co will get a great kick from this
39 A332 : Sneak over to the car and let the air slowly out of the tires... that way, you can really tick the guy off when he's trying to drop the girl off at ho
40 Post contains images ORFflyer : Open the car door, and tell them to hurry up, as a whole line of dudes are waiting for sloppy seconds.
41 Post contains images NIKV69 : Get the video camera and make some amateur videos. Think of the money you would make. I mean the guy that had the idea to film college coeds on spring
42 YeahitsK : Two words: Bigfoot costume.
43 AA61Hvy : Saxdiva-give the people some credit, hooking up in a car is damn hard (at least in a small car)
44 DeltaMD11 : I'd give them the thrill of their lives...get a pack of firecrackers or an M-80 if you have the means to obtain one and throw it under the car. That'l
45 Halls120 : I guess you missed the part of the post where it says the visitors aren't cleaning up after themselves. 1) write a letter to the mayor/city manager o
46 Searpqx : I don't even care if its in front of my house, as long as A) It doesn't disturb me, my neighbors or the neighborhood, and B) I don't have to deal wit
47 Post contains images YYZflyer : All you need is three items: a flashlight, a hockey mask, and a very loud chainsaw. That'll sure scare the crap out of them. And if that fails, go sta
48 AAFLT1871 : Send me car to car to take notes on what they are doing, ask them to fill out a quick survey for a snow globe. I bet they will leave. Signed FLairport
49 Post contains images LTBEWR : Some good ones here I liked Just hope they don't have a leaking gas tank And hook it up to a hose that would spray on or into their car (problem is wi
50 Post contains images BCAInfoSys : Have your husband put on a white shirt & tie, find a little black Mormon nametag, and then have him knock on the window to see if they want to hear mo
51 Post contains images BaylorAirBear : A story, if I may... I used to date a farm girl. In the country, you do weird things like drive out in the middle of nowhere, and all of a sudden, peo
52 Post contains images Searpqx : Its an understandable mistake - in your part of the world, disposing of the trash and decorating with the trash are frequently interchangeable. . .
53 Superfly : That's how I feel too. Now as far is 'littering' which Kroc added, then it's a problem. The act of screwing in the car itself wouldn't bother me.
54 MD-90 : Oh. My. Gosh. If I was back to being a typical Southern, smart yet proud of my accent teenager, I would have a ball with this. You don't do that in fr
55 StarAC17 : Hey I hope I remember thiswhen the time comes for us to pull a prank like this me and my roomates would also have had a field day.
56 Post contains images HAWK21M : Thats Interesting regds MEL
57 Post contains images HAWK21M : Thats Interesting regds MEL
58 Springbok747 : Just call the cops and tell them the problem..they probably won't bother. Call a few minutes later and tell them you shot and killed one of those teen
59 KROC : At least it was short...
60 Don81603 : Use tongs, or rubber gloves (if you have the stomach for it), and collect the used condoms in a coffee can for about a week. Then empty the can on the
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