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I Punched My Dog In The Face.  
User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 5
Posted (8 years 2 days 15 hours ago) and read 3966 times:

So, I've taught my dog that chomping-down on something moving about under the covers is a fun game. A lesson that has backfired on many, many occasions. Most resulting in language that the clergy do not know and a few requiring a trip to the bathroom to inspect what feels like an amputated toe.

Earlier this evening, my dog and I were engaging in some fun under the covers...erm  blush ...I was under the blanket and she was chasing my hand as I grabbed her feet. At one point, as I was reaching for a paw, I punched her in the face with a closed fist, causing pain and a yelp. When I shot out from under the blanket in worry, she dove under my chin with her ears back as if to say, "Dad, I'm sorry for whatever I did to deserve a beating!" Needless to say, I felt terrible.

Just now, she made eleven complete circles on the couch before she finally laid down. Did I make my dog retarded?  confused   worried 

31 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlinePiercey From Sweden, joined Nov 2005, 2233 posts, RR: 1
Reply 1, posted (8 years 2 days 15 hours ago) and read 3949 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
I Punched My Dog In The Face.



Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Very nice. (In small doses)

Way to show your sig....  duck 



Well I believe it all is coming to an end. Oh well, I guess we are gonna pretend.
User currently offlineCastleIsland From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (8 years 2 days 15 hours ago) and read 3949 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Did I make my dog retarded?

No, she was born that way.

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
So, I've taught my dog that chomping-down on something moving about under the covers is a fun game

Good thing you can't make some things move under there anymore, or we'd have a "balls and all" post in the near future.

OK, I refuse to use the f-ing wink.


User currently offlineHalcyon From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (8 years 2 days 15 hours ago) and read 3933 times:

Dear Lord, he's a monster! Perhaps we can call this new fetish "petophilia?"  Big grin

User currently offlineLooneyToon From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 444 posts, RR: 1
Reply 4, posted (8 years 2 days 15 hours ago) and read 3933 times:

I dropped my miniature dachsie (he was stolen from my yard about 3 years ago...poor doggy) from chest level once. He landed on his head and then started biting at the air. Turns out that the drop dislocated his jaw and the biting action put it back into place. I think that was one of the last times I picked him up while he was a puppy.

Play with your dog and see if he acts strange. Then take him to a vet if he is.



LooneyToon
User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 5
Reply 5, posted (8 years 2 days 15 hours ago) and read 3929 times:

Quoting CastleIsland (Reply 2):
No, she was born that way.

 relieved 

Quoting CastleIsland (Reply 2):
Good thing you can't make some things move under there anymore, or we'd have a "balls and all" post in the near future.

 grumpy 


User currently offlineHPLASOps From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (8 years 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 3877 times:

Quoting Halcyon (Reply 3):
Perhaps we can call this new fetish "petophilia?"

There already is a term for it - beastiality.

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Earlier this evening, my dog and I were engaging in some fun under the covers...erm

Not even funny to joke about man

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
At one point, as I was reaching for a paw, I punched her in the face with a closed fist, causing pain and a yelp. When I shot out from under the blanket in worry, she dove under my chin with her ears back as if to say, "Dad, I'm sorry for whatever I did to deserve a beating!"

And yet women wonder why we're more likely to show more concern for our pets than them.  devil 


User currently offlineSkidmarks From UK - England, joined Dec 2004, 7121 posts, RR: 55
Reply 7, posted (8 years 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 3864 times:

And this is the man who would be King? What hope have we peasants if he smacks his bitch about?

:D

Andy  old 



Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
User currently offlineBill142 From Australia, joined Aug 2004, 8439 posts, RR: 8
Reply 8, posted (8 years 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 3857 times:

I'm reporting you to the RSPCA

User currently offlineHalcyon From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (8 years 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 3847 times:

Quoting HPLASOps (Reply 6):
There already is a term for it - beastiality.

Haha, yes I know, but it does not too ofent involve beating the animal in question to the point of retardation.  bigthumbsup 


User currently offlineSK A340 From Sweden, joined Mar 2000, 845 posts, RR: 2
Reply 10, posted (8 years 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 3797 times:

I accidentally kicked a dog in the head once. I was about to jump over a vacuum cleaner and kicked the dog under the mouth which made an awful sound when the teeth knocked together. I was afraid she had bitten herself in the tongue, but there wasn't any damage done.

/Micke


User currently offlineJap From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (8 years 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 3753 times:

You EVIL, EVIL MAN!!!!  grumpy 



 biggrin  I'm sure she's fine- the "circling" before lying down is instinct behaviour- in the wild, she'd do this in a grass field to get a nice patch of stomped down grass that'd ensure her cover from predators AND a nice hidingplace, should a snack (ie. squirrel) come by  mischievous  Maybe you woke up the wolf inside her?  eek  Perhaps she didn't think the imaginary grass was stomped/leveled enough  Silly

Come to think of it, it IS really retarded... where the hell is the grass indoors and why does the dog think it STILL has to level the stupid grass when he/she is in the couch?! I've gotten stepped on many times by my dachsie because he went completely obsessive compulsive and HAD to do this...  irked 


User currently offlineANITIX87 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 3300 posts, RR: 13
Reply 12, posted (8 years 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 3726 times:
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Quoting HPLASOps (Reply 6):
Not even funny to joke about man



Quoting HPLASOps (Reply 6):
There already is a term for it - beastiality.

Where's Kirky when you need him?!  Smile

TIS



www.stellaryear.com: Canon EOS 50D, Canon EOS 5DMkII, Sigma 50mm 1.4, Canon 24-70 2.8L II, Canon 100mm 2.8L, Canon 100-4
User currently offlineQueso From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (8 years 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 3713 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Did I make my dog retarded?

Pets and their owners often share many traits.

Why would you stoop to the level of amusing the animal yourself rather than assigning this menial task to the court jester or some other loyal subject?


User currently offlineBaylorAirBear From United States of America, joined Jan 2005, 2913 posts, RR: 50
Reply 14, posted (8 years 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 3701 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
I punched her in the face with a closed fist



Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Did I make her retarded?

Maybe that's why Jap acts the way shes does?  scratchchin 

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Just now, she made eleven complete circles on the couch before she finally laid down.

She was probably just looking for a place to squeeze in beside your fat ass.

My mom's dog bit me mega-hard last night when she tried to gank my hamburger. She didn't realize it, but she grabbed my thumb instead and wouldn't let go. I had no choice but to smack her with an open hand on top of her head really, really hard, then banish her to her house for a while. I now have a nice puncture wound on my beautiful man-thumb.

BAB  devil 



I'm just skipping stones...
User currently offlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20394 posts, RR: 62
Reply 15, posted (8 years 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 3693 times:

Oddly, I have nothing of substance to add at all to this thread, as I'm a pussy man, myself.  mischievous 


International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlineKaiGywer From United States of America, joined Oct 2003, 12217 posts, RR: 35
Reply 16, posted (8 years 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 3693 times:
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Quoting BaylorAirBear (Reply 14):
My mom's dog bit me mega-hard last night when she tried to gank my hamburger. She didn't realize it, but she grabbed my thumb instead and wouldn't let go. I had no choice but to smack her with an open hand on top of her head really, really hard, then banish her to her house for a while. I now have a nice puncture wound on my beautiful man-thumb.

Just bite back Big grin



911, where is your emergency?
User currently offlineMattRB From Canada, joined Apr 2005, 1624 posts, RR: 9
Reply 17, posted (8 years 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 3673 times:

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7):
And this is the man who would be King? What hope have we peasants if he smacks his bitch about?

Help! Help! I'm being repressed! See the violence inherent in the system!



Aviation is proof that given, the will, we have the capacity to achieve the impossible.
User currently offlineQueso From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (8 years 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 3659 times:

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 15):
I'm a pussy man, myself.

That's not what I heard!


User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 5
Reply 19, posted (8 years 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 3600 times:

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7):
And this is the man who would be King? What hope have we peasants if he smacks his bitch about?

Just imagine what I'll do to you for your insolence, knave!

Quoting Jap (Reply 11):
Maybe you woke up the wolf inside her?

Doubtful. She's a shepherd/imbecile mix.

Quoting Queso (Reply 13):
Pets and their owners often share many traits.

 grumpy  Though she does bark at minorities....

Quoting Queso (Reply 13):
Why would you stoop to the level of amusing the animal yourself rather than assigning this menial task to the court jester or some other loyal subject?

My court jester corps is too busy responding to A.net forum threads.

Quoting BaylorAirBear (Reply 14):
She was probably just looking for a place to squeeze in beside your fat ass.

No. Lemuel the Franciscan Donkey isn't allowed on the furniture. And he's very sensitive about his weight.

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 15):
Oddly, I have nothing of substance to add at all to this thread...

Status quo.

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 15):
...as I'm a pussy man, myself.

Somehow, I envisioned you carrying an apricot toy poodle with a CZ-studded collar.  scratchchin 


User currently offlineSlamClick From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 10062 posts, RR: 68
Reply 20, posted (8 years 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 3580 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
she made eleven complete circles on the couch before she finally laid down

Normal behaviour for a whirl poodle.

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
So, I've taught my dog that chomping-down on something moving about under the covers is a fun game.

Until now I thought teaching a dog to bark was the dumbest move a dog owner could do. This certainly tops it. I take it you sleep alone!

Quoting HPLASOps (Reply 6):
There already is a term for it - beastiality.

Actually the word you are looking for is B-E-S-T-I-A-L-I-T-Y. Drop the first A. It is pronounced BEST-e-allity, not BEAST-anything. Look it up in a printed dictionary. If you use an online feature like Wiki you'll get less scholarly results. Besides you'll get about a hundred thousand hits - most of them really disgusting!



Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
User currently offlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20394 posts, RR: 62
Reply 21, posted (8 years 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 3572 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 19):
I envisioned you carrying an apricot toy poodle with a CZ-studded collar.

I do wish BAB would stop telling people what he's planning on giving me for Christmas every year. Something has to be left to surprise!



International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlineFSPilot747 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 3599 posts, RR: 12
Reply 22, posted (8 years 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 3527 times:

That totally proves what I've been trying to tell cat critics for so long. In these exact words, "you kick a cat and it tells you to go fuck yourself and takes off for a while to let you think about what you've done. You do the same to a dog and it comes back for more. "

Dumb dogs.

But at least they're loyal.


User currently offlineScintx From United States of America, joined Apr 2006, 270 posts, RR: 1
Reply 23, posted (8 years 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 3483 times:

Quoting MattRB (Reply 17):
Help! Help! I'm being repressed! See the violence inherent in the system!

It's been years since I heard this, brings back some good memories!



Attention All Planets of the Solar Federation....We have assumed control.....We have assumed control......
User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24911 posts, RR: 56
Reply 24, posted (8 years 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 3356 times:

IAH777, you are an ugly duck! http://mishami.image.pbase.com/u2/johann/upload/18222954.Duck.jpg


When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
25 AeroWesty : Well this *might* be clever, but access is forbidden to the image.
26 Post contains images Gkirk :
27 Post contains images JGPH1A : You mean like Choctaw or Swahili ? Who's your "we" ? Your sentence should read "What hope have I, a peasant". ERROR+++ERROR+++DOES NOT COMPUTE+++ - n
28 Post contains images IAH777 : Pidgin Sanskrit, but close!
29 Post contains images Skidmarks : Listen, you lowlife colonial, be grateful I even include you in that Royal we!! Andy
30 JGPH1A : The later didactic inflection, or the older nasal form ?
31 Post contains images IAH777 : Cockney.
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