IAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 5 Posted (6 years 9 months 4 weeks 3 hours ago) and read 3007 times:
So, I've taught my dog that chomping-down on something moving about under the covers is a fun game. A lesson that has backfired on many, many occasions. Most resulting in language that the clergy do not know and a few requiring a trip to the bathroom to inspect what feels like an amputated toe.
Earlier this evening, my dog and I were engaging in some fun under the covers...erm ...I was under the blanket and she was chasing my hand as I grabbed her feet. At one point, as I was reaching for a paw, I punched her in the face with a closed fist, causing pain and a yelp. When I shot out from under the blanket in worry, she dove under my chin with her ears back as if to say, "Dad, I'm sorry for whatever I did to deserve a beating!" Needless to say, I felt terrible.
Just now, she made eleven complete circles on the couch before she finally laid down. Did I make my dog retarded?
LooneyToon From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 444 posts, RR: 1 Reply 4, posted (6 years 9 months 4 weeks 3 hours ago) and read 2974 times:
I dropped my miniature dachsie (he was stolen from my yard about 3 years ago...poor doggy) from chest level once. He landed on his head and then started biting at the air. Turns out that the drop dislocated his jaw and the biting action put it back into place. I think that was one of the last times I picked him up while he was a puppy.
Play with your dog and see if he acts strange. Then take him to a vet if he is.
Quoting CastleIsland (Reply 2): Good thing you can't make some things move under there anymore, or we'd have a "balls and all" post in the near future.
HPLASOps From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 6, posted (6 years 9 months 4 weeks 2 hours ago) and read 2918 times:
Quoting Halcyon (Reply 3): Perhaps we can call this new fetish "petophilia?"
There already is a term for it - beastiality.
Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter): Earlier this evening, my dog and I were engaging in some fun under the covers...erm
Not even funny to joke about man
Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter): At one point, as I was reaching for a paw, I punched her in the face with a closed fist, causing pain and a yelp. When I shot out from under the blanket in worry, she dove under my chin with her ears back as if to say, "Dad, I'm sorry for whatever I did to deserve a beating!"
And yet women wonder why we're more likely to show more concern for our pets than them.
SK A340 From Sweden, joined Mar 2000, 845 posts, RR: 3 Reply 10, posted (6 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 2838 times:
I accidentally kicked a dog in the head once. I was about to jump over a vacuum cleaner and kicked the dog under the mouth which made an awful sound when the teeth knocked together. I was afraid she had bitten herself in the tongue, but there wasn't any damage done.
Jap From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 11, posted (6 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 2794 times:
You EVIL, EVIL MAN!!!!
I'm sure she's fine- the "circling" before lying down is instinct behaviour- in the wild, she'd do this in a grass field to get a nice patch of stomped down grass that'd ensure her cover from predators AND a nice hidingplace, should a snack (ie. squirrel) come by Maybe you woke up the wolf inside her? Perhaps she didn't think the imaginary grass was stomped/leveled enough
Come to think of it, it IS really retarded... where the hell is the grass indoors and why does the dog think it STILL has to level the stupid grass when he/she is in the couch?! I've gotten stepped on many times by my dachsie because he went completely obsessive compulsive and HAD to do this...
ANITIX87 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 3233 posts, RR: 14 Reply 12, posted (6 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 2767 times:
Quoting HPLASOps (Reply 6): Not even funny to joke about man
Quoting HPLASOps (Reply 6): There already is a term for it - beastiality.
Where's Kirky when you need him?!
TIS
www.stellaryear.com: Canon EOS 50D, Canon EOS 5DMkII, Sigma 50mm 1.4, Canon 24-70 2.8L II, Canon 100mm 2.8L, Canon 100-4
Why would you stoop to the level of amusing the animal yourself rather than assigning this menial task to the court jester or some other loyal subject?
BaylorAirBear From United States of America, joined Jan 2005, 2913 posts, RR: 52 Reply 14, posted (6 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 2742 times:
Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter): Just now, she made eleven complete circles on the couch before she finally laid down.
She was probably just looking for a place to squeeze in beside your fat ass.
My mom's dog bit me mega-hard last night when she tried to gank my hamburger. She didn't realize it, but she grabbed my thumb instead and wouldn't let go. I had no choice but to smack her with an open hand on top of her head really, really hard, then banish her to her house for a while. I now have a nice puncture wound on my beautiful man-thumb.
AeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 18809 posts, RR: 64 Reply 15, posted (6 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 2734 times:
Oddly, I have nothing of substance to add at all to this thread, as I'm a pussy man, myself.
KaiGywer From United States of America, joined Oct 2003, 12022 posts, RR: 43 Reply 16, posted (6 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 2734 times:
Quoting BaylorAirBear (Reply 14): My mom's dog bit me mega-hard last night when she tried to gank my hamburger. She didn't realize it, but she grabbed my thumb instead and wouldn't let go. I had no choice but to smack her with an open hand on top of her head really, really hard, then banish her to her house for a while. I now have a nice puncture wound on my beautiful man-thumb.
IAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 5 Reply 19, posted (6 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 2641 times:
Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7): And this is the man who would be King? What hope have we peasants if he smacks his bitch about?
Just imagine what I'll do to you for your insolence, knave!
Quoting Jap (Reply 11): Maybe you woke up the wolf inside her?
Doubtful. She's a shepherd/imbecile mix.
Quoting Queso (Reply 13): Pets and their owners often share many traits.
Though she does bark at minorities....
Quoting Queso (Reply 13): Why would you stoop to the level of amusing the animal yourself rather than assigning this menial task to the court jester or some other loyal subject?
My court jester corps is too busy responding to A.net forum threads.
Quoting BaylorAirBear (Reply 14): She was probably just looking for a place to squeeze in beside your fat ass.
No. Lemuel the Franciscan Donkey isn't allowed on the furniture. And he's very sensitive about his weight.
Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 15): Oddly, I have nothing of substance to add at all to this thread...
SlamClick From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 10062 posts, RR: 71 Reply 20, posted (6 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 2621 times:
Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter): she made eleven complete circles on the couch before she finally laid down
Normal behaviour for a whirl poodle.
Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter): So, I've taught my dog that chomping-down on something moving about under the covers is a fun game.
Until now I thought teaching a dog to bark was the dumbest move a dog owner could do. This certainly tops it. I take it you sleep alone!
Quoting HPLASOps (Reply 6): There already is a term for it - beastiality.
Actually the word you are looking for is B-E-S-T-I-A-L-I-T-Y. Drop the first A. It is pronounced BEST-e-allity, not BEAST-anything. Look it up in a printed dictionary. If you use an online feature like Wiki you'll get less scholarly results. Besides you'll get about a hundred thousand hits - most of them really disgusting!
Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
AeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 18809 posts, RR: 64 Reply 21, posted (6 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 2613 times:
Quoting IAH777 (Reply 19): I envisioned you carrying an apricot toy poodle with a CZ-studded collar.
I do wish BAB would stop telling people what he's planning on giving me for Christmas every year. Something has to be left to surprise!
FSPilot747 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 3599 posts, RR: 14 Reply 22, posted (6 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 2568 times:
That totally proves what I've been trying to tell cat critics for so long. In these exact words, "you kick a cat and it tells you to go fuck yourself and takes off for a while to let you think about what you've done. You do the same to a dog and it comes back for more. "
Scintx From United States of America, joined Apr 2006, 270 posts, RR: 1 Reply 23, posted (6 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 14 hours ago) and read 2524 times:
Quoting MattRB (Reply 17): Help! Help! I'm being repressed! See the violence inherent in the system!
It's been years since I heard this, brings back some good memories!
Attention All Planets of the Solar Federation....We have assumed control.....We have assumed control......
27 JGPH1A: You mean like Choctaw or Swahili ? Who's your "we" ? Your sentence should read "What hope have I, a peasant". ERROR+++ERROR+++DOES NOT COMPUTE+++ - n
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From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, 
...I was under the blanket and she was chasing my hand as I grabbed her feet. At one point, as I was reaching for a paw, I punched her in the face with a closed fist, causing pain and a yelp. When I shot out from under the blanket in worry, she dove under my chin with her ears back as if to say, "Dad, I'm sorry for whatever I did to deserve a beating!" Needless to say, I felt terrible.
From Sweden, joined Nov 2005, 2233 posts, 
From UK - England, joined Dec 2004, 7121 posts, 
From Australia, joined Aug 2004, 8320 posts, 
From , joined Dec 1969, posts, 
Maybe you woke up the wolf inside her? 
Perhaps she didn't think the imaginary grass was stomped/leveled enough 
From Canada, joined Apr 2005, 1624 posts, 
From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24621 posts, 
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