Lubcha132 From United States, joined Feb 2001, 2776 posts, RR: 6 Posted (7 years 1 week 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 473 times:
Before i begin don't worry i won't kill myself or take drugs or drink or smoke etc.
I've been on a.net since last february, though i started posting heavily in about june. i average about 3 posts a day and this is my 850th post. but that's not what i'm writing about. from all my time (certainly not wasted) spent on this site i have made numerous friends who i talk to a lot on AIM and i have seen how when someone posts their problems a lot of other people are eager to throw in their 2 cents. you (the +/-10004 members) are the first place that i am turning to for help.
I used to be happy. starting in september i began on a happy streak. i started posts on here such as the first word association, and my offline life was doing well. I made a lot of friends thru marching band and i met a girl that i like. my happiness level stayed pretty much on an upward trend even thru 9/11 (i know it sounds horrible). basically everything was going well.
to me,it seems that happiness comes and goes. it goes up and down, and each time the ups (happiness) gets higher and the lows (sad times) get lower, and when you are going up you don't know when you are going down and when you are going down you don't know when to come back up.
the pinnacle of my happiness this time was about october 13. i had a lot of fun @ my friends party and the next day the descent began with my mom coming in and instead of "good morning" i got "Clean your room" and a minor tantrum. school didn't help. then i got into a fight with "satan" (from the posts about love) which just added to my woes, even tho i am happy that we aren't talking. since he is good friends with her (but he wouldn't ask her out) i don't know what he tells her and what she knows. i think she knows that i like her but now i'm not sure if she likes me back.
my feelings of isolation and being outcasted probably sprouted from jazz ensemble. i don't know if the other ppl noticed but except for 2 people they all but completely forgot about me except when it came time to correct me or switch parts. now, i've started to notice, online especially, though it does happen in person, i have to make the effort to talk to someone or make plans. for instance, this past tuesday was a half day and i made plans to go to the mall with one of my friends. I don't think i would've done anything that day if i didn't ask. I've been online for periods of 15 minutes or more that no one IMs me, and if i had made the effort i could've had at least 10 IMs going at once. every day i try to see if someone will im me but only a few people actually do. most of those people (only 3-4 aren't) are people i've met on the forums here.
back to girl trouble-
for some reason when i'm around her my vocabulary is decimated and i lock up. this is not good at all especially because i am afraid i waited too long. i don't know what to do- agitate myself by not asking or risk rejection which i am not sure if i can handle well now.
as i am typing this now the only 3 people talking to me are from airliners.net and 17 people i know in person are online .
Basically- i feel almost completely left out, ignored and uncertain, and i don't know how much longer i can bullshit (note- i rarely curse on here) thru all the "are you ok?"'s and the "are you sure you're ok?"'s that i get before breaking down and admitting it to someone who i'm not sure i want to tell. my happiness is basically a facade and the paint is chipping off.
please help
i will be "happy" (well, you know) to answer any questions and any additions to this will soon be posted.
Redngold From United States, joined Mar 2000, 6906 posts, RR: 53 Reply 1, posted (7 years 1 week 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 384 times:
Josh,
It's hard being a teenager. I know, I was one once. I won't claim to know anything about girl problems, because I am one... and I don't know anything about buy problems, either, for that matter!
These are difficult times for everyone. Last week's Newsweek called your generation "Generation 9-11" because you are growing up in the most uncertain of worlds since the Greatest Generation (WWII twenty-somethings).
However that doesn't mean you're not experiencing a crisis unique to you.
I know how school (and jazz ensemble) can become really full of cliques. One minute you've got friends and another minute they're ignoring you and focusing on someone else. I encourage you to get involved in more activities, not less, and not to isolate yourself. Even if you just go and support another group without participating (go to a basketball game or something), you'll find people who are happy that you're there, and that you care, and they will start caring about you. At least that's how I finally made friends with some people that were supposedly "out of my league" (I went to a few mock trial team events, and they invited me out for ice cream afterwards, and voila! new friends!)
There are a lot of people out there to talk to. Reaching out for help here at A.net is just the start of it. I know it seems uncool, but drop in to your school's counseling/guidance office and have a talk with a counselor. They'll be really happy to talk with you... maybe even more because you're a guy (I don't know, just a gut instinct.)
Take care and keep doing what you're doing in terms of staying away from drugs and alcohol; those are not your friends in any way! Have you thought about trying out for a local youth orchestra or a drum and bugle corps? Since you play trumpet and enjoy that so much, why not get even more involved in music? Try http://www.dci.org/ .
AC_A340 From Canada, joined Sep 1999, 2250 posts, RR: 1 Reply 3, posted (7 years 1 week 2 days 7 hours ago) and read 345 times:
This may just be a coincidence, but consider it. You said it all started going downhill in October. We started losing daylight in October as well. There is a form of depression that is brought on by lack of daylight. In these cases a mild anti-depressant usually does the trick. If you aren't on one, consider talking to your doctor about that. But first try what Redngold said. It is difficult being a teenager. I know, I still am one. You are uncertain about quite a few things, and it will pass. Try to find another extra-cirricular activity. If you really don't feel like dealing with people take up running or lifting weights. It's a great way to burn off some steam, and the benefits of a healthy lifestyle are immense. And I am sure us A.net users are the worst to be giving girl advice We're normally asking for help as well.
Just try to power through, stay away from negative influences like you're doing, and try to branch out more. You'll get through it. Almost everybody does.
High From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 4, posted (7 years 1 week 2 days 7 hours ago) and read 339 times:
Why dont you IM them first. There are 6 people online that I know in "real life" but I dont want to talk to them, so i dont IM them, or i put my "away" message on. If you want to tlak to them, why do they have to make the first move?
IMissPiedmont From United States, joined May 2001, 5485 posts, RR: 45 Reply 5, posted (7 years 1 week 2 days 7 hours ago) and read 330 times:
LOT767-300ER. One whole hour. Damn, how can you survive?
Lubcha132. The sooner you realize that women are all full of s**t, the better off you'll be. Treat them like crap, that's what they really want. Look around you, you'll see it's true.
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man, though my mind could think I still was a madman
BO__einG From Canada, joined Apr 2000, 2630 posts, RR: 11 Reply 7, posted (7 years 1 week 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 318 times:
Have you ever heard of CALM?
most High Schools has this and it is a manditory course that you have to take in order to Graduate.
If not, or if you dont know what Calm is here is what it stands for.
CAREER AND LIFE MANAGEMENT!
You start off learnign a whole load of Things like Mental Illness (Stigma, Bi Polar yada yada..) Sexual stuff, Careers, health, food nutrition etc..
The Peer stuf.f.. Cliques, Jocks, Mocks, Cocks, etc.
Dont worry too much about being a part of these so called "Cool" groups..
YOu will fit with them or better in logn run.
Girls.. well according to my CALM data it said that 80% of guys and GIRLS act like -as if they cant live in a steady teenage life!!! TRUE TRUE !!
Guess what their reason is.. THEY ARE NOT HAPPY WITH HOW THEY are in appearance Eg.. Acnes.. Those stupid ass bastards Ruin alota good looking people.. I wish that never existed cuz i got acnes myself and it sucks.. .
Girls also feel the same too.. soem hotties do get acnes and they like ruin them big time.. Usually most of em dont get that many.. I duno how.. I guess all that makeup adds an extra layer for preventing dust n crap to go through..
I feel delayed in my abilities to do things with girls and guys in a frequent basis because things like Acnes, and allergies I have get in the way..
When you do things with girls, talk, dance, party out and etc..
That big fear of "what will happen if she sees this/ finds out?" Usually comes into the mind of alota people. even myself.
I know that over time I will recover and it is a normal process for teens.. your no exception. Perhaps all this wait may pay off greatly when I someday get a girl who so pretty/smart/perfect that her boobs eer.. Eyes makes all other girls in my school look like they fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Patience is the Virtue.. haa!
Youll pull thru. Extra activites like Band will get you busy so you wont have time to be all depressed anyways unless you pull yourself off or stay on the comp for long times...
To the ladies if any on a.net: I am Bachelor Bo, Come to CYYC. Its a party on the red mile.
Turbolet From Cape Verde, joined Nov 2007, 0 posts, RR: 1 Reply 9, posted (7 years 1 week 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 302 times:
Lubcha, we talk on IM quite often so I might as well not post this here but I will, just so that the other people can comment.
Actually my life is crap, too. I started school in October and the first day I got home so depressed I couldn't do much for the whole afternoon. My overall feeling at school has improved a bit now that I've made some new friends and met my old ones again but I get hardly any free time because I get so many homeworks to do that I can hardly do anything else. And if I do go out somewhere, even for an hour, I end up working till 9 p.m. Though I look forward to the weekends in terms of getting sleep (I wake up at 7 a.m. every day and go to bed at 11 p.m.), they're hardly enjoyable because I get even more work than during the week. And so I end up depressed, unhappy and not having done part of the work.
Now as regards girls. Lubcha, you know, I told you yesterday what happened.
My only means of escape are these forums, ICQ and IM. I don't know how much longer I can put up with it. My life bites, I know it, I just don't have any 'bright moments' in it.
So what do I do? I'm not getting suicidal or anything, I'm just depressed. But I see death not as something to be scared of, but as something natural. If you told me I'll die in five minutes, well I'd just sit here and wait, not run around doing things I wanted to do etc.
Lubcha, I know how you feel, but hey, it's not only you or me, everyone feels that way at some point in life. Try doing what I'm doing, find very little things in life (I said very little!) which make you happy and think about those and do those... that way you'll feel a bit better.
See ya online,
-turbolet
Lubcha132 From United States, joined Feb 2001, 2776 posts, RR: 6 Reply 10, posted (7 years 1 week 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 294 times:
i just used the jazz ensemble thing to mention how some people leave me out, but even in other places. people don't see if i'm doing anything after school, or on the weekends.
we don't have a CALM class in our school because it is a dump.
i'm in 10th grade and i've never had a girlfriend b4. this is the first girl i've ever liked this much, but its not even a lot.
GKirk From United Kingdom (Scotland), joined Jun 2000, 23180 posts, RR: 59 Reply 11, posted (7 years 1 week 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 283 times:
A few weeks ago I was also feeling pretty miserable, but I posted on here and all the great comments from the people on here helped me to become happy again. Knowing that I was liked by loads of people on here helped me regain my confidence and so nowadays I am back to being the confident guy that I was previously before things took a downturn in my life.
Dont worry, things will hopefully get to being better for you very soon, and dont forget a lot of people on the forums like you and so do the people that live around you.
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
Flpuck6 From United States, joined Jun 1999, 2036 posts, RR: 27 Reply 12, posted (7 years 1 week 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 277 times:
Ok, my 0.02:
I was abroad last year in France. 9 months.
Came back to senior year at College in the middle of Ohio, cow country. After being in an awesome city for 9 months, this place is boring as hell. As we got further into the academic year, I knew something wasn't right. I wasn't as close to happy as I had been before, and I knew it. My best friend with whom I was in France with wrote me an e-mail one evening telling me about how things were going with him and you know what? He was feeling exactly the same way as I was!
To make a long story short, it has taken us a good two months to straighten everything out. I'm actually doing much better than he is right now, and I wish I could help him out. But we're 800 miles away.
Anyway, just know that you're not the only one in the blues. In fact, a lot of people around me also have the blues right now. I swear it's a misalignment of the planets.
One other thing, don't expect to be talking with all 17 people on your buddy list all the time. That's an expectation that will only set you up for disaster.
Give it time. I know, a month seems like ages. But believe me, 2 months out of your entire life, patience is a virtue. Do stuff that you like doing, maybe it should be something you like doing on your own. Give your head time to clear. Good luck buddy, hang in there.
AC_A340 From Canada, joined Sep 1999, 2250 posts, RR: 1 Reply 13, posted (7 years 1 week 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 264 times:
I forgot something, as for the girls, don't worry. I'm in University and I've never had a girlfriend. And besides, high school relationships don't go much further than high school. Just try to relax and go with the flow. Things will straighten out.
Leftseat86 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 15, posted (7 years 1 week 1 day 15 hours ago) and read 236 times:
What are you doing this weekend?
Really, after 9/11, I've been feeling bad too. First, in my new school my class is full of ASSWIPES, stupid morons that belong in 3rd grade. No one has a brai except my Muslim friend Nazih, who, of course, is doing 10th grade all over again...
This town is way boring compared to Los Angeles (Chris will hate me for that!) but things are getting better. I try to content myself on small things and not look at the big picture. i.e. land the 777 at Kai Tak in FS2K with 2mile visibility.
Hey, this is the only life you've got, why not live it to the fullest eh!
-Clovis
Jiml1126 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 17, posted (7 years 1 week 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 208 times:
Well, everyone like you is going downhill since the 9.11 attack, so it's not just you feel bad and worse about it. And about the personal business, that's life, I guess.
But if you compare to mine, mine is worse than yours. IM me if you want for some conversation
SophieMaltese From United States, joined Feb 2001, 2064 posts, RR: 3 Reply 18, posted (7 years 1 week 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 192 times:
Well, I can tell you that life just cycles. Sometimes you feel so awful you can't imagine feeling good again, and others you just feel great. I find that when bad things happen they usually happen all at once. Just in the past couple of weeks I've been overloaded at work, had to spend $2000 in car repairs, got bitched out by my dad for taking a shower with a hand towel instead of a washcloth (there were no clean washcloths), did miserably on a certification test, and just all around been miserable. Now I feel better after a nice rested weekend. It will come around and you'll feel better just try to remember that.
Turbolet From Cape Verde, joined Nov 2007, 0 posts, RR: 1 Reply 19, posted (7 years 1 week 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 179 times:
Actually I felt a lot better yesterday because I SMSed my girl- (hopefully -friend in the future) and mentioned I was depressed and she asked me how she could cheer me up. Little thing really, but that itself cheered me up .
-turbolet
Sponsor Message: 
From United States, joined Feb 2001, 2776 posts, 
.
redngold
From Poland, joined Jan 2001, 8091 posts, 
From Canada, joined Sep 1999, 2250 posts, 
We're normally asking for help as well.
From , joined Dec 1969, posts, 
From Cape Verde, joined Nov 2007, 0 posts, .gif){kind=small}
From United Kingdom (Scotland), joined Jun 2000, 23180 posts, 
.