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The Purina Diet  
User currently offlineHalls120 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (7 years 12 months 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1317 times:

Recently I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

8 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineANCFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (7 years 12 months 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1316 times:

 rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl 

User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 5
Reply 2, posted (7 years 12 months 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 1305 times:

 rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl 

You should've shoved your nose in her crotch for effect.


User currently offlineOly720man From United Kingdom, joined May 2004, 6688 posts, RR: 11
Reply 3, posted (7 years 12 months 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 1300 times:

Excellent. Funniest thing I've read in ages...


wheat and dairy can screw up your brain
User currently offlineVHVXB From Australia, joined Apr 2006, 5523 posts, RR: 18
Reply 4, posted (7 years 12 months 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 1293 times:

Quoting Halls120 (Thread starter):

 rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl 


User currently offlineDesertJets From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 7760 posts, RR: 16
Reply 5, posted (7 years 12 months 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 1282 times:

Wait for it, wait for it...... Here's your sign, to an entire check-out line @ Wal-Mart.


Stop drop and roll will not save you in hell. --- seen on a church marque in rural Virginia
User currently offlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20394 posts, RR: 62
Reply 6, posted (7 years 12 months 3 days 8 hours ago) and read 1260 times:

 rotfl   rotfl  That was great!!


International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlineVC10BOAC From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 402 posts, RR: 0
Reply 7, posted (7 years 12 months 3 days 6 hours ago) and read 1238 times:

It happened to you too? Well what are the chances. I got an email from a co-worker earlier today and the exact same thing happened to him too at Walmart!

User currently offlineHalls120 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (7 years 12 months 3 days 6 hours ago) and read 1233 times:

Quoting VC10BOAC (Reply 7):
It happened to you too? Well what are the chances. I got an email from a co-worker earlier today and the exact same thing happened to him too at Walmart!

That's the beauty of the internet. I was able to circulate what happened to me around the world in an instant!  Wink

At least I didn't change the story I received and tried to pass it off as my own.  biggrin 


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