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Senseless Death, Is It My Fault? 2 Violence  
User currently onlineAR385 From Mexico, joined Nov 2003, 6239 posts, RR: 31
Posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 2803 times:
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Hi to all of you who have expressed their support on the original thread, I finally went and talked to the father. This is what happened:

As I was talking, expressing my condolences, he turned red and started yelling at the top of his lungs: IT WAS YOUR FAULT, YOU DID NOT RIDE THE HORSE THAT WEEK !!! He then grabbed a razor blade sharp knife. I immediately knew what was going to happen, so I proceeded to do as any coward in my position would do, RUN. But he was between me and the entrance to his study.

He took two strides towards me so I raised my right hand to cover myself and he slashed it twice. One cut goes from the tip of my ring finger to the beginning of my forearm severing two arteries and a vein. One of those two arteries is the most important one in the arm. The other cut goes from my index finger, from the tip, halfway through the hand.This one severed my tendon, the index finger tendon. I felt no pain. Adrenaline I guess.

At that point I just wanted to kill the bastard, I was angry, furious even.

He must have realized so, because three seconds later he cut and slash my abdomen, a 20 inch gash on my right side halfway between my nipples and my belly button. This one went all the way to my liver. Then another 15 inch one penetrating my left chest and slashing its way in. Thank God* it did not touched my heart. Came toward one inch of it, though. I was by now not dripping blood, It was gushing out from my chest, my abdomen and my hand in among other ways, a constant stream, like a water hose. Apart from the other parts of my hand that were bleeding incredibly fast. Then he left.

So there I was, alone, in his study, bleeding badly. And, of couse, like in the movies, I sort of passed out. Twenty mins. later ( I'm told) the wife called the police. Talk about luck...or maybe God* did not want me there yet. The patrol cars (four) arrived in three minutes (Mexico is not as backward as some people in the US think) They entered the house and came to the study. Two ambulances with EMT's were dispatched too and arrived in five mins.

To say I was "lying in a pool of blood", would not even be cliche, but also not true. I was lying in a lake of blood. White colored, a very slow pulse and almost no blood pressure. The EMT's instead of stabilizing me decided it was better to just rush me to the ER. I was in and out of consciousness. In the ER they told me that in ten more minutes I would have been dead. I lost 2.3 liters of blood at a very fast rate, which is actually more important than the actual amount, they told me. So, now it was a trip to the OR (at least in the ambulance I felt important, with the sirens and all) Ten hours in OR. Liver repaired (now no alcohol for one year  Sad ), Chest wounds repaired, and hand repaired, kinda, I have it in a cast though for four more weeks and nobody really knows if my index finger will work again, although the tendon was reattached. Fortunately, I am a leftie!

My family took the first available flight (They were in Mexico City) and arrived just about when they were wheeling me up to my room. I really don't even want to imagine their anguish. I feel really guilty about that.

It's been one week and one day and I cannot read violent stuff, not even comics, I can't watch most TV shows (news programs are out of any consideration), I have to sleep with a light on, I hear yelling and I get sick, I am bursting into tears at least twice a day without any reason, and to top it all off, my fiancee left me.

She said that in these conditions I "would not make a good husband." Hello!! I was almost killed. But, when does the pain of losing her goes away? I miss her so very much...I can't imagine myself with another woman. We had been together for four years, I feel lost and if I had known she was going to leave me, I now wish I had died that afternoon.

Thanks for reading, at this point I do not know why but it helps me a lot to write or recount this incident.

I've had a terrible year, true, but that means that next year is going to be great. To recognize the good and to enjoy it, you need to know the bad.

Thanks to all!!

* Any religious references in this text are only intended to add significance to some points I wrote, I am not trying to surreptitiously to impose my religion.

53 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineBill142 From Australia, joined Aug 2004, 8451 posts, RR: 8
Reply 1, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 2783 times:

Thats horrible. I certainly hope charges have been laid. There is simply no excuse for this barbaric attack, even if he is clearly greiving the loss of his daughter.
And if your fiancee isn't going to support you through this then clearly she is not worth it.

Glad to know your alright.


User currently offlineMolykote From United States of America, joined Aug 2005, 1340 posts, RR: 29
Reply 2, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 2783 times:
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Clearly this is quite an ordeal and nothing that anyone says can amend anything that has happened to you. Clearly your intentions in the first post as well as this follow up were noble. I do wish you a speedy recovery.

As for this......

Quoting AR385 (Thread starter):
and to top it all off, my fiancee left me.



Quoting AR385 (Thread starter):
She said that in these conditions I "would not make a good husband." Hello!! I was almost killed.

My words may not make you feel better (and I don't wish to upset you further) but according to your account of her actions she's a selfish bitch. The tired phrase of "better off without her" is undoubtedly true based upon her actions.

Try to appreciate what other unfortunate situations you may have found yourself in had you stuck with her - If it wasn't this event it would have been something else that revealed her selfish attitude.



Speedtape - The asprin of aviation!
User currently offlineAlaskaqantas From New Zealand, joined Dec 2005, 905 posts, RR: 4
Reply 3, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 2766 times:

I am deaply sorry.

Words can't express themselfs here. eyepopping 

What happened wasn't your fault and the father was wrong in thinking it was. I hope you get better. Are you still able to travel?
~Cheers-
~~Kyle H.



to some people the sky is the limit, to aviation enthusiasts, its home!
User currently offlineAjd1992 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 2755 times:

AR385,

That's horrible. I read your account in the other thread, a while back. It wasn't your fault, it was a unfortunate accident. Having the courage to do what you did, and talking to him was the right thing to do. From your account, the attack was unprovoked and vicious and hope he's jailed. Don't worry, that bastard will get what's coming.

As for your fiancee, that's just selfish and uncalled for. You need her to support you. I suppose it's good that she did what she did, as you could of been married and then found out. Obviously, she has put herself infront of you. Get well soon, and try not to retaliate. That makes you just as bad, although i admit it is hard not to sometimes.  Angry


User currently offlineAlessandro From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 2755 times:

Glad you survived, I think you should stay away from horses and horse people, hope
you recover fast.


User currently offlineKlaus From Germany, joined Jul 2001, 21479 posts, RR: 54
Reply 6, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 2741 times:

Oh my. Sad

I've got no idea what happened originally, but I wish you all the best to recover from both your physical wounds and the mental shock and grief as well as possible. I hope your family will support you and care for you - feeling safe and appreciated is extremely important right now.

The loss of your fiancee is another bad experience, but as others have said, she only revealed that you'll be in fact better off without her - even if it hurts a lot right now.

Get well, and all the best!  bigthumbsup 


User currently offlineAlessandro From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 2717 times:

Klaus, a pupil of his died in horse accident during a competition.

User currently offlineKlaus From Germany, joined Jul 2001, 21479 posts, RR: 54
Reply 8, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 2711 times:

Ah, right; I think I remember the post. Sorry to hear that.

I guess the father was completely overwhelmed with grief; People often do stupid things in such a state, even if that could never excuse such an attack.


User currently offlineRammstein From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 2711 times:

What happened to you is simply horrible. I wish you a fast recovery and best wishes for the future...!

And about your ex-fiancee... Other people already told you, but I repeat: she wasn't worth your attention and your love. There are plenty of women around, don't think for a second she was the best. She wasn't.


User currently offlineCO7e7 From United States of America, joined Dec 2004, 2849 posts, RR: 2
Reply 10, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 2702 times:

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you.

I wish you speedy recovery.

Good Luck

-Zaki


User currently offlinePawsleykat From United States of America, joined Jul 2005, 1978 posts, RR: 11
Reply 11, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 2697 times:

That sounds really scary. I know everyone has already said that they wish you a fast recovery, but I, like everyone else, really mean it. I could not imagine the pain and terror that you have/ are going through.

JG



First Class passengers are my favourites. They can't get any further forward without an ATPL.
User currently offlineVHVXB From Australia, joined Apr 2006, 5525 posts, RR: 18
Reply 12, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 2695 times:

Thats dreadful whats happend to you. I wish all the best in your recovery and hope things start to look better for you from here onwards. GOOD LUCK  bigthumbsup 

User currently offlinePiercey From Sweden, joined Nov 2005, 2233 posts, RR: 1
Reply 13, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 2679 times:

Quoting AR385 (Thread starter):
(now no alcohol for one year )

That's it, sue the b@st@rd for all he's worth. Speaking of which, I take it there are 1-2 charges on the SOB?

Quoting AR385 (Thread starter):
my fiancee left me.

She said that in these conditions I "would not make a good husband." Hello!! I was almost killed. But, when does the pain of losing her goes away? I miss her so very much...I can't imagine myself with another woman. We had been together for four years, I feel lost and if I had known she was going to leave me, I now wish I had died that afternoon.



Quoting Molykote (Reply 2):

My words may not make you feel better (and I don't wish to upset you further) but according to your account of her actions she's a selfish bitch. The tired phrase of "better off without her" is undoubtedly true based upon her actions.

was gonna say the same thing. @ least this didn't happen a year latter after you tied the knot.

Just remember, things can only go up from hear (hopefully)



Well I believe it all is coming to an end. Oh well, I guess we are gonna pretend.
User currently offlineNAV20 From Australia, joined Nov 2003, 9909 posts, RR: 36
Reply 14, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 2668 times:

I owe you an abject apology, AR385 - I was one of those who advised you to give it time, try to see that bastard's point of view..........

Deeply sorry to hear what happened. I can only hope that the police are on the case, he's already in jail awaiting trial, and you at least have the satisfaction of seeing him get ten years or so for grievous bodily harm.

Apologies again. And all best wishes, hope recovery is fast and complete.



"Once you have flown, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards.." - Leonardo da Vinci
User currently offlineSlamClick From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 10062 posts, RR: 68
Reply 15, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 2662 times:

Quoting AR385 (Thread starter):
so I proceeded to do as any coward in my position would do, RUN

I believe those of us who have actually faced deadly weapons will agree, running is not being a coward, it is very sensible. It is unfortunate that you could not have gotten away quicker.

A nephew of mine was once stabbed in the liver. While it did give him some trouble for the first months it did heal and he has no effects at all from the wound. I wish you a full recovery.

As to the original tragedy - while you could have changed the outcome of that day, what you did was perfectly reasonable and no one could claim to foresee her death. It was not your fault. It really is just that simple.

Quoting AR385 (Thread starter):
to top it all off, my fiancee left me

It may not be much consolation now but she did you a huge favor by unmasking herself. So much for 'in sickness and in health!' She ran out on you when you could have used her support. You are fortunate to have discovered her lack of character before you married her. You seem a very decent person and she was a fool.

Good luck.

[Edited 2006-08-13 16:40:24]


Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
User currently offlineJAGflyer From Canada, joined Aug 2004, 3536 posts, RR: 4
Reply 16, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 2661 times:

Thats awful. Attempted murder or assault charges for sure.


Support the beer and soda can industry, recycle old airplanes!
User currently offlineContinental From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 5519 posts, RR: 18
Reply 17, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 2614 times:

Quoting JAGflyer (Reply 16):
Attempted murder or assault charges for sure.

Continually slashing someone deep with a razor would definitely be attempted murder. The best thing here is that he's going to jail regardless.

Everyone just has to realize that the horse riding incident was not your fault whatsoever. Not even 1% your fault, you even tried to prevent her from riding. Everyone else is also right about your fiancee, she's not worth it at all. It may seem hard to have this happen, but you have to realize there's someone else out there that will support you and that is way better than her.


User currently offlineScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 56
Reply 18, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 2574 times:

Oh my God! How awful! The man must still be crazed with sorrow - obviously something is very wrong in his head and how terrible that you had to be the one to suffer for it. Thank God you survived and I hope you will heal quickly.

As for your fiancee...as everybody above said, you are so much better off without her. What kind of selfish bitch would leave you in your time of physical and mental anguish? She's not worth a thought by you.



But that was when I ruled the world
User currently offlineBowflexBrennan From Australia, joined Jul 2006, 124 posts, RR: 0
Reply 19, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 2558 times:

I'm sorry to hear what happened to you, but like the others said, you are better off without you. If she left you because of that, she obviously doesn't love you. If she really loved you she would have done whatever she could to help you recover. Just be happy it happened before you were married, because it would have been a much bigger headache if you would of had to go through a divorce, not to mention the amount of money you would have lost in a divorce.

Hope your feeling better, Andrew


User currently offlineAero145 From Iceland, joined Jan 2005, 3071 posts, RR: 18
Reply 20, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 2558 times:

My condolenses!

Hope you'll recover!

May I see the previous thread? I can't find it anywhere...

 wave 

-Aero145

PS:

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 18):
As for your fiancee...as everybody above said, you are so much better off without her. What kind of selfish bitch would leave you in your time of physical and mental anguish? She's not worth a thought by you.

 checkmark  checkmark  checkmark  checkmark 


User currently offlineSlamClick From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 10062 posts, RR: 68
Reply 21, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 2540 times:

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 18):
The man must still be crazed with sorrow - obviously something is very wrong in his head

I agree. No excuse for what he did of course, but it leads me to wonder about this whole event.

Of course I don't know any of the people involved but the severity of his response makes me wonder if maybe he didn't push his daughter too hard in this area. Perhaps she pushed herself too hard knowing what he expected of her? Do you think maybe HE feels responsible for her death but because of pride or something cannot face that directly? Maybe you were a more convenient target for his anguish?



Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
User currently offlineCanuckpaxguy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 22, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 2533 times:

Oh my god!
That's HORRIBLE.

I'm glad you made it out alive.

G


User currently offlineSA7700 From South Africa, joined Dec 2003, 3431 posts, RR: 26
Reply 23, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 2529 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW
HEAD MODERATOR

Quoting AR385 (Thread starter):
It's been one week and one day and I cannot read violent stuff, not even comics, I can't watch most TV shows (news programs are out of any consideration), I have to sleep with a light on, I hear yelling and I get sick, I am bursting into tears at least twice a day without any reason,

I think it is essential that you go for trauma counseling. Since my last post on your original thread, our family's world was "turned over" for the worse. Two weeks ago, I unsuspectingly walked into my 25 year old sister’s bedroom – only to find her with a single bullet wound to her head. She took her own life.

Since the incident, I have been in denial, thinking I was fine and moving along the grieving process. Today, I finally admitted to myself that I was an emotional wreck and “ticking time bomb”. I will be seeking out professional trauma counseling as soon as possible.

You are in my thoughts and prayers AR385


Regards

SA7700



When you are doing stuff that nobody has done before, there is no manual – Kevin McCloud (Grand Designs)
User currently offlineSA7700 From South Africa, joined Dec 2003, 3431 posts, RR: 26
Reply 24, posted (8 years 1 month 2 weeks 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 2512 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW
HEAD MODERATOR

Quoting Aero145 (Reply 20):
May I see the previous thread? I can't find it anywhere...

Senseless Death, Is It My Fault?


SA7700



When you are doing stuff that nobody has done before, there is no manual – Kevin McCloud (Grand Designs)
25 Saxdiva : I can't really add much of substance to this thread, except my condolences. As for the fiancee... it will take a while to realize your good fortune, s
26 Post contains images NoUFO : Oh man, how awful. Words fail me, and I can only wish that you get well, soon. I think that's good advice.
27 AR385 : PLEASE, you do not, I repeat, do not have to apologize for your good and well intentioned advice. Who would ever would have thought this poor person
28 AR385 : I forgot to mention. For peace of mind, I have decided not to get involved in any legal proceeding. My family's attorneys have been given a power of a
29 Halls120 : Couldn't agree more. Best wishes for a speedy recovery, and I hope the SOB is prosecuted fully.
30 Carmenlu15 : Whoa whoa whoa... When it rains, it pours, doesn't it? I'm truly sorry for what has happened to you, but at the same time I'm glad to see you're doing
31 Post contains images Boeing4ever : Boy, it's been rough for you...an understatement I know...but hang in there. Things have to get better from here. After all, you survived, so you stil
32 NAV20 : Fair enough, AR385, thanks - but I'll always feel a bit guilty, I should have asked you more about what sort of guy he was, never crossed my mind tha
33 Klaus : It's certainly a good idea to stay aware of what is going on even if it may be painful; But that does not necessarily require him to be active or eve
34 Theredbaron : I hope you recover ASAP, and find a person who deserves your love... Keep going to counselling, the healing will be long (this comming from a shrink).
35 Fumanchewd : I have been in similiar situations with guns, police, drugs, ad nauseum and I understatnd that "surreal" feeling. I agree with your assessment comple
36 AR385 : True. And I am taking your advice to thank evrybody else. But Although I´ve had my share of fun , only another girl, Pilar, and this one, Eva Maria
37 Bezoar : That's the spirit! Forgiving someone doesn't change them. They are still accountable for what they have done. Forgiving someone changes us by relievi
38 EasternSon : Man, I have to extend my best wishes to you. You've been through a lot in a short amount of time and that can be very taxing, both mentally and physic
39 Ctbarnes : There's little I can add to the above but to offer my prayers for you and both your families. Charles, SJ
40 Bezoar : I went back and read the original thread. Wow. What a story to see unfold! You've certainly not revealed anything that suggests you should feel guilt
41 DavestanKSAN : Holy crap, that is terrible! It's almost unimaginable. Through your posts, I can tell what a caring, honest, and compassionate person you are. To be a
42 AR385 : EasternSon, your whole post deserves and answer, I sincerely appreciate them your words and your sugestions. Thankyou very much for taking the time t
43 Luisde8cd : Martín I cannot believe what I've read in the past 45 minutes. I'm deeply shocked. Please come to the a.net meeting this tuesday 22nd, I would love t
44 N405MX : Agree with Luis, we need to talk, i´ll try to be at your place to have a talk. Men, this hasn´t been your year, first your head, then your friend,
45 AAden : well I'm glad you survived and I hope you recover fast
46 AR385 : I'll be there, please tell me time. N405MX, Yes maybe this has not been my year, but then again to really appreciate the real good times or years, an
47 Wrighbrothers : Well, I can't say how much that shocks me, the injuries sound horrific !, make me complaining about my injuries after rugby matches seem pathetic ! I
48 AR385 : thankyou very much Alistair,
49 Wrighbrothers : You're more than welcome, the important thing is to deal with it mentaly, usualy the physical stuff will heal, and anyway, that's the doctors job. Al
50 ABfemme : Couldn't agree more - I wish you a speedy recovery and in time I hope this experience will fade, as in your previous thread you are not to blame for
51 Thepilot : First and foremost, Luis, let me express my sorrow for the ordeal you have been put in. As others have said, you are in no way at fault. There is a si
52 AR385 : I sincerely wish to thank all of you who have taken the time to go back an read my other thread. I also wish to thank everyone for their amazing advic
53 Post contains images Latinplane : Oh my god AR385! Wishing that you recuperate soon and that you put this ordeal behind you as just a bad episode in your life. Don't let this weird sit
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