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I Am Losing My Mind!  
User currently offlinePawsleykat From United States of America, joined Jul 2005, 1978 posts, RR: 11
Posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 1406 times:

Ok, summer holidays are almost over, woo. Actually, I am looking forward to going back to school, getting to see friends again and what not.
But, over the past few weeks, I have been having continuous arguments with my parents over the slightest little things. I fear my parents are on the verge of breaking up ........ again. This has happened a lot over the time I have been on this earth. I have no-one near by me to turn to, I don't really want to talk to my mum about it and no-one at school has a small enough mouth to keep it a secret. I have tried running away before, to get them back together, but that just makes things worse. I know it is not my fault that they are having difficulties together, but I feel all caught up in it and it feels like my fault. Also, I am losing my appetite. I think about food and I feel sick but then I wait for it to calm down and then I start to feel sick due to lack of food, but i just can't eat. I know, it's a real Catch 22 situation. I do not want to lose so much weight that I have to be taken into hospital though. I really do not know what to do.
People at school do not understand how I feel and that is one of the reasons I can't talk to them, and another is that no one really seems to have the time of day for me at school. I am too different, I don't want to be like everyone else and when I try to fit in with people, they hear rumours about me and think I am just some strange little person. I know that in 10 years time these people and myself will not communicate and therefore their oppinions don't matter, but I just want a friend my own age who understands me and takes the time to talk to me, hang round with me. I also get bullied a lot @ school. I feel really uncomfortable talking to teachers about it and that is also making me feel worse. I feel so stupid.  Sad
I'm frightened that I am going to hurt someone over the whole situation and that's why I have turned here. I really have no-one else to tell, no one else will even face me to listen to me, at least here I won't know if someone doesn't care.

I know this post sounds as if I am the only person in my life, but I turned here so that i can get it all out and not keep it bottled up inside me.

Anyway, thanks for listening.

JG


First Class passengers are my favourites. They can't get any further forward without an ATPL.
14 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineGo3Team From United States of America, joined Mar 2004, 3267 posts, RR: 16
Reply 1, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 1374 times:

I think you have taken the first step by talking to somebody, that somebody being all of us. I'm sure there are people here that have been where you are now, and there are people here that have been, or are currently going thru what your parents are going thru now. The only thing I can relate to is some of the things that happened to me in school. They weren't pleasant, but I made it thru ok. My advice is to not do anything without considering some of the advice that is going to be given here. Good luck.


Yay Pudding!
User currently offlineFlyingbabydoc From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 1366 times:

JG: I have IM'ed you with my views on your situation. I hope it has helped a bit.

Alex


User currently offlineAjd1992 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 1366 times:

I got to the same predicament, and the best thing to do is to actively do something about it. I didn't talk to my school friends about it, but talk to a family member about it. I talked to my cousin about it, but then again i tell her pretty much anything, she's one of those people. If you don't have anybody, try childline, they're pretty good. I was bullied alot, and also didn't have a parent to turn to (slightly different situation, but same princable). If you ever need any help, IM me, or MSN.

User currently offlineBristolFlyer From United Kingdom, joined May 2004, 2290 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 1348 times:

Whoa, there's a few things going on there. Sorry to hear that you're going through all this. I'm pretty sure a lot of people go through this sort of stuff at your age so you're not alone (but it probably feels like it if you can't talk to anyone about it).

A couple of responses to some of your issues...

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
Also, I am losing my appetite

You need to eat, even though you're feeling down. I lose my apetite when I'm stressed out, but I force myself to eat (normal amounts) as you need fuel.

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
also get bullied a lot @ school

Speak to your teachers about bullying, this needds to be sorted out properly and SOON. If they brush it off, so and speak to another teacher, and another and another until someone takes you seriously. If no-one else does, speak to Childline or someone else who will do something.

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
when I try to fit in with people

Don't make too much effort to 'fall in' with the in-crowd at school. I never did, I didn't have that many close friends at school (I'm not in contact with anyone from my school now, other than bro & sis LOL) and I don't miss them. Blaze your own trail, it's often those that aren't the highest achievers at school that go on to great things.

How about joining clubs/associations either in school or out of school. It really is the best way of meeting like-minded people, you'll always have things to talk about to them if you have common interests. I have met all of my friends through my hobbies/interests.

Good luck, and I hope some of this is use to you.

BF



Fortune favours the brave
User currently offlinePawsleykat From United States of America, joined Jul 2005, 1978 posts, RR: 11
Reply 5, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 1327 times:

Thanks everyone. I feel a lot better now. Your responses are really helping, I appreciate all that you guys are doing / saying / helping with. Thanks again

JG



First Class passengers are my favourites. They can't get any further forward without an ATPL.
User currently offlineLegoguy From United Kingdom, joined Jun 2006, 3312 posts, RR: 40
Reply 6, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 1324 times:

Quoting BristolFlyer (Reply 4):
How about joining clubs/associations either in school or out of school. It really is the best way of meeting like-minded people, you'll always have things to talk about to them if you have common interests. I have met all of my friends through my hobbies/interests.



Quoting BristolFlyer (Reply 4):
Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
Also, I am losing my appetite

You need to eat, even though you're feeling down. I lose my apetite when I'm stressed out, but I force myself to eat (normal amounts) as you need fuel.

I can not myself say I have ever been in your position however, if you feel you're losing your appetite then perhaps doing something like sports makes you hungry and can take your mind off things. Also music can help take your mind off things.

Quoting BristolFlyer (Reply 4):
Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
when I try to fit in with people

Don't make too much effort to 'fall in' with the in-crowd at school.

Some wise words. Do not try too hard. You will eventually friend a great friend but not if you are trying to hard to find a friend...if that makes sense.

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
I feel really uncomfortable talking to teachers about it and that is also making me feel worse. I feel so stupid.

Don't feel stupid about telling the teachers. Its what they are there for, apart from teaching. Im the one who should be feeling stupid for posting lego images on this site which is full of old fogeys  Smile



Can you say 'Beer Can' without sounding like a Jamaican saying 'Bacon'?
User currently offlineWrighbrothers From United Kingdom, joined Jul 2005, 1875 posts, RR: 9
Reply 7, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 1295 times:

Firstly, I'm sorry to hear that Jordan.

Now, I got bullied a bit a school, but I fealt a lot better when I told someone, beofre that I just kept it in me, but one thing, don't resort to violence, coming from a rugby player, it's a bit stupid, but take my word.

Finaly, talk to me on MSN if you want someone to talk to, about anything  Smile

Ali



Always stand up for what is right, even if it means standing alone..
User currently offlineKlaus From Germany, joined Jul 2001, 21406 posts, RR: 54
Reply 8, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 1285 times:

Just one thing: Not eating right will mess with your blood sugar, and that will most definitely make you feel worse - it can severely skew your perception and your mood towards the negative, even if things are not actually that bad. Even if you don't have much of an appetite in your difficult situation, forcing yourself to eat properly(!) can already help more than you might think.

I know your troubles are real; But you're not as helpless as you may feel.

Some good advice has already been given, so don't give up, find help and find your own strengths!

All the best!  bigthumbsup 


User currently offlineGkirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24906 posts, RR: 56
Reply 9, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 1280 times:

Quoting Klaus (Reply 8):
Just one thing: Not eating right will mess with your blood sugar, and that will most definitely make you feel worse - it can severely skew your perception and your mood towards the negative, even if things are not actually that bad. Even if you don't have much of an appetite in your difficult situation, forcing yourself to eat properly(!) can already help more than you might think.

I know your troubles are real; But you're not as helpless as you may feel.

Some good advice has already been given, so don't give up, find help and find your own strengths!

All the best! bigthumbsup

A post by Klaus that doesn't mention macs, and doesn't have a  mischievous  smiley in it!  faint 
Whatever next?  Wow!



When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineComorin From United States of America, joined May 2005, 4895 posts, RR: 16
Reply 10, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 1260 times:

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):

That was a very intelligent and considered post - not that of your usual Teen. I am sure you are getting excellent advice from other a.netters, so I'd just like to add my bit:

1. You seem to have a good sense of humour, this should be your secret weapon.

2. All this will pass, no matter how miserable it is now. A lot of kids develop a defense to parental goings-on by just shutting down and escaping into a world of school friends. Others have it harder when they feel alienated at school. Without siblings, its very hard and you should talk to your Dad more.

3. The eating is of concern, do seek help on this. You may end up with some medication to help you along. The worst that happens is to turn to drink and drugs to help the pain, but you don't sound so easily beaten.

4. Force yourself to do things you enjoy regularly, its very easy to let it go.

Your parents love you, so do have a chat with your Dad or Mom. Most kids feel that they are the cause of a break-up, but it really isn't.

All said, I do feel for what you are going through, and hope things get better soon.


User currently offlineLeezyjet From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 4041 posts, RR: 53
Reply 11, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 1229 times:

Try joining :- http://www.aircadets.org/

There must be a Squadron near to where you live.

That way you will meet some like minded people, and you will get out and about doing loads of things. I was in the ATC from 13-21 and met loads of great people and had a fantastic time. That will also help to take your mind off your situation of you have a new interest to persue.

 Smile



"She Rolls, 45 knots, 90, 135, nose comes up to 20 degrees, she's airborne - She flies, Concorde Flies"
User currently offlineSlamClick From United States of America, joined Nov 2003, 10062 posts, RR: 68
Reply 12, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 1212 times:

A few things occur to me.

"I am losing my mnd."

If you say so. You sound pretty normal for your age to me, but you'd be a better judge...

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
I am looking forward to going back to school, getting to see friends again and what not.

That is cool, but it seems in conflict with:

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
I can't talk to them, and another is that no one really seems to have the time of day for me at school. I am too different, I

...and:

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
I know that in 10 years time these people and myself will not communicate and therefore their oppinions don't matter, but I just want a friend my own age who understands

Let me tell you what I found. The kids I went to school with were pretty much like the friends I had after, and the guys I knew in the Army and the folks I work with and on and on. If you get along okay with one lot you will be okay with the rest. I am friends today with only two public-school friends. The rest, if I happen to see them we chat and we go our own way. But my lifelong 'best' friend came from school. Old friendships will one day be very important.

P.S. They are all "very different."

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
my parents are on the verge of breaking up ........ again. This has happened a lot over the time I have been on this earth.

People who make each other happy find a way to stick together. People who do not will not, and it would be anything from simple wasted effort all the way to a real cruelty to force them to. "For the sake of the kids" was often a reason for couples sticking together. Ask a child of a home like this how well that worked out! If they are going to make it together or not is (A) beyond your control and (B) not your job anyway, as much as you may wish it.

You are going to find your own life, maybe sooner because of the unstable marriage of your parents or later if they manage to pull it together, but ultimately we live for ourselves. The real purpose of parents is little more than to launch the child into life. Assist in your own launching. Find your life, your interests, your friends, your passions. These things will carry you through your own life better than anything your parents can do for you.

Don't resent them for not staying together if they don't. Your best option will be to remain 'friends' with each of them. You are going to be an adult a lot longer than you are going to be the dependant child of your parents, prepare for that. You were going to be leaving home anyway in just a few very short years.

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
keep it a secret

Don't fret about that part. Pretty hard to keep it a secret if they no longer live at the same address. Divorces may be really unfortunate but there is certainly no shame involved. Half the people you worry about finding out are from divorced parents anyway.

Eat. Even if you have no real appetite, fuel up.

Don't worry about losing your mind. Not going to happen. This might be unpleasant times but hang in. Learn what you can from it.



Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
User currently offlineBristolFlyer From United Kingdom, joined May 2004, 2290 posts, RR: 0
Reply 13, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 1212 times:

Quoting Leezyjet (Reply 11):
That will also help to take your mind off your situation

Another great reason for joining a club/association. I go boating with friends a lot and whenever I'm on the lake I forget all about the stresses of normal life, and hence when I get back to work I'm fresh for new challenges.

I actually believe it benefits my work, though I'm not sure that I could persuade the taxman that wakeboards, beer and fuel money are legitimate business expenses  crying 

I'm not saying that if you start to do extra-curricula activities your issues will go away (although a couple of them may do), but you will forget about them for a while, which is half the battle won. Sitting at home worrying about things never got anyone anywhere.

BF



Fortune favours the brave
User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31667 posts, RR: 56
Reply 14, posted (7 years 11 months 1 week 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 1184 times:

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
But, over the past few weeks, I have been having continuous arguments with my parents over the slightest little things.



Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
People at school do not understand how I feel and that is one of the reasons I can't talk to them, and another is that no one really seems to have the time of day for me at school.



Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
I know this post sounds as if I am the only person in my life, but I turned here so that i can get it all out and not keep it bottled up inside me

Although not Qualified to Advice.But would suggest Talk to them.Try not to get annoyed & most importantly dont forget yourself.If you are healthy,you can think better.
Life is tough.The secret is Never give up.Family in BOM is very very Important & I can understand what you mean.All I'd say is there is only that much you can do.But you should also remember You are Important too.

Not all Advice given out here will make sense.Filter them as needed.Hope you find your solution soon.

regds
MEL



Think of the brighter side!
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