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So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush  
User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 4
Posted (8 years 2 weeks 11 hours ago) and read 5405 times:

...and the last azalea bush on the front of the house isn't getting enough water, causing it to grow much more slowly than the others. She called our landscaper, Mark, who offered to come over and lay some pipe. He was the one who originally tore-up our bed a couple of years ago, so who better to give us another head? What I really hate about Mark is how he always wants to hang out and talk after the job is done. Why can't he understand we just want him to do it and leave? I'd knock it out myself, but I just can't get a grip on Mark's plumbing.

Also, she reported that the dog (the one I made retarded by punching her in the face) dug a hole in the back yard. Must have been awfully deep, because she said she looked to see how deep it was and saw a Vietnamese kid. Seriously. Our neighbors are immigrants.

26 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineRammstein From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (8 years 2 weeks 10 hours ago) and read 5392 times:

I hate bushes as well, it's better to keep that area bold and clean.

User currently offlineBaylorAirBear From United States of America, joined Jan 2005, 2913 posts, RR: 49
Reply 2, posted (8 years 2 weeks 10 hours ago) and read 5383 times:

I'm torn. Do I encourage this behavior by contributing my own comedic genius, or do I show scorn for the thread starter for punishing our eyes with this? I'll decide in the morning.

BAB scratchchin 



I'm just skipping stones...
User currently offlineKevinL1011 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 2964 posts, RR: 47
Reply 3, posted (8 years 2 weeks 10 hours ago) and read 5352 times:

There's already a Shaving Brush thread.



Ooops! My bad!
You meant shaving bush!




474218, Carl, You will be missed.
User currently offlineGocaps16 From Japan, joined Jan 2000, 4346 posts, RR: 20
Reply 4, posted (8 years 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 5109 times:

I need to trim my bush, you think she ll trim it for me?

Kevin


User currently offlineHatTrick From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 110 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (8 years 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 5084 times:

My wife once called me to say she had the crabs....................Yes, the soft shell Maryland Blue Crabs I asked her to pick up at the market.

User currently offlineDeltaGator From United States of America, joined Sep 2005, 6341 posts, RR: 13
Reply 6, posted (8 years 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 5078 times:




"If you can't delight in the misery of others then you don't deserve to be a college football fan."
User currently offlineAsuflyer05 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 2372 posts, RR: 3
Reply 7, posted (8 years 1 week 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 5020 times:

So you let another man help shave your wife's bush?

User currently offlinePhotopilot From Canada, joined Jul 2002, 2745 posts, RR: 18
Reply 8, posted (8 years 1 week 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 4992 times:

Is the bush down in the valley where the little stream is? Do you have to fertilize the bush very often, or just a periodic re-seeding? Big grin  Big grin  Big grin

User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11953 posts, RR: 46
Reply 9, posted (8 years 1 week 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 4922 times:

I liked the election campaign t-shirt with a pic of a nude woman with a shaved nether region, with the slogan "Read my lips, no bush after the election."

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineFlyDeltaJets87 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (8 years 1 week 6 days ago) and read 4912 times:

Quoting Thom@s (Reply 9):
I liked the election campaign t-shirt with a pic of a nude woman with a shaved nether region, with the slogan "Read my lips, no bush after the election."

I found the "I like my women like I like my politics: No Bush" shirts pretty funny.


User currently offlineAeroflot777 From Russia, joined Mar 2004, 3008 posts, RR: 26
Reply 11, posted (8 years 1 week 6 days ago) and read 4891 times:

Yipee, one of these threads again...  Yeah sure

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Wife called, assuming you live together, it's YOUR bush too!

Aeroflot777


User currently offlineRobertNL070 From Netherlands, joined exactly 11 years ago today! , 4532 posts, RR: 9
Reply 12, posted (8 years 1 week 5 days 23 hours ago) and read 4838 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
causing it to grow much more slowly than the others.

Be sure to use rainwater, azaleas and rhododendrons do not appreciate tap-water unless it is very soft tap-water. If you haven't done it already, replacing some of the top soil with some acid soil will be advantageous. Avoid hoeing and forking around them because they are shallow-rooted. Once established they will need little care.

 Wink



Youth is a gift of nature. Age is a work of art.
User currently offlineTedTAce From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (8 years 1 week 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 4804 times:

As long as it's red, bush is good  Wink

User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (8 years 1 week 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 4799 times:

Quoting BaylorAirBear (Reply 2):
I'm torn. Do I encourage this behavior by contributing my own comedic genius

I'd say yes, if you actually HAD any. Alas...


User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 4
Reply 15, posted (8 years 1 week 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 4699 times:

Quoting Asuflyer05 (Reply 7):
So you let another man help shave your wife's bush?

No no no....she trimmed her own bush. The landscaper merely comes by to install a head. Sprinkler head.

Quoting Photopilot (Reply 8):
Is the bush down in the valley where the little stream is? Do you have to fertilize the bush very often, or just a periodic re-seeding?

I occasionally attempt to fertilize, but that's about it.

Quoting RobertNL070 (Reply 12):
Be sure to use rainwater, azaleas and rhododendrons do not appreciate tap-water unless it is very soft tap-water. If you haven't done it already, replacing some of the top soil with some acid soil will be advantageous.

We're feeding them some sort of silver compound that made them explode. With any luck, we'll have a fantastic bed of them about the time we move out.  Sad

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 13):
As long as it's red, bush is good

Close. We have a magenta shade and white. :-p

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 14):
I'd say yes, if you actually HAD any. Alas...

 checkmark 



User currently offlineVinnieWinnie From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 792 posts, RR: 0
Reply 16, posted (8 years 1 week 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 4599 times:

Loooooooooool reading the headline of your topic I really thought you were talking about another type of Bush!

Oh well my mistake  

Edit: kind or type of Bush? changed kind in type but not sure at all! Help!!!

[Edited 2006-09-11 18:00:25]

User currently offlineBaylorairbear From United States of America, joined Jan 2005, 2913 posts, RR: 49
Reply 17, posted (8 years 1 week 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 4581 times:

Quoting VinnieWinnie (Reply 16):
Loooooooooool reading the headline of your topic I really thought you were talking about another kind of Bush!



BAB



I'm just skipping stones...
User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 4
Reply 18, posted (8 years 1 week 4 days 18 hours ago) and read 4469 times:

Quoting VinnieWinnie (Reply 16):
I really thought you were talking about another type of Bush!

Don't be absurd. As if my wife could ever cut the President's hair. He's not even her Bush. She voted for McGovern.

Quoting VinnieWinnie (Reply 16):
kind or type of Bush?

Did you read past the title? Azaleas, man! Azaleas!


User currently offlineCfalk From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (8 years 1 week 4 days 18 hours ago) and read 4464 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

When I saw the headline, my first thought was "What the hell are you doing wasting time on the 'net talking about it? Say you have an emergency, get your ass back home ASAP, and get in there!!!"


User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 4
Reply 20, posted (8 years 1 week 4 days 18 hours ago) and read 4458 times:

Quoting Cfalk (Reply 19):

I would, but Armando The Pool Boy is there and he's bigger than me. Hell, I don't think our yard is even big enough for a pool.  worried 


User currently offlineVinnieWinnie From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 792 posts, RR: 0
Reply 21, posted (8 years 1 week 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 4381 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 18):
Don't be absurd. As if my wife could ever cut the President's hair. He's not even her Bush. She voted for McGovern.

Well there r 3 types of bushes I believe:

- One belonging to the white house!
- One which you find in your garden!
- Pubic hair around the genitals of a woman when there is loads of it there!

When I read the title of your post I thought about the 3rd option! My mistake...

Anyway looooooooooooooooool again!  Wink


User currently offlineIlikeyyc From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 1373 posts, RR: 20
Reply 22, posted (8 years 1 week 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 4374 times:

forget it

[Edited 2006-09-12 14:20:46]

[Edited 2006-09-12 14:22:45]


Fighting Absurdity with Absurdity!
User currently offlineKieron747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 23, posted (8 years 1 week 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 4373 times:

Quoting Ilikeyyc (Reply 22):
(you do have a pet beaver, right?)

Reply 6.  sarcastic 

Kieron747


User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 4
Reply 24, posted (8 years 1 week 4 days 4 hours ago) and read 4320 times:

Quoting VinnieWinnie (Reply 21):

Tis merely the lost art of double entendre.


25 TedTAce : I'm sure it belonged on whiners, but would have been absolutely hilarious!!!
26 Post contains images VinnieWinnie : C'est vrai
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