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So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush  
User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 4
Posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 5512 times:

...and the last azalea bush on the front of the house isn't getting enough water, causing it to grow much more slowly than the others. She called our landscaper, Mark, who offered to come over and lay some pipe. He was the one who originally tore-up our bed a couple of years ago, so who better to give us another head? What I really hate about Mark is how he always wants to hang out and talk after the job is done. Why can't he understand we just want him to do it and leave? I'd knock it out myself, but I just can't get a grip on Mark's plumbing.

Also, she reported that the dog (the one I made retarded by punching her in the face) dug a hole in the back yard. Must have been awfully deep, because she said she looked to see how deep it was and saw a Vietnamese kid. Seriously. Our neighbors are immigrants.

26 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineRammstein From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 5499 times:

I hate bushes as well, it's better to keep that area bold and clean.

User currently offlineBaylorAirBear From United States of America, joined Jan 2005, 2913 posts, RR: 49
Reply 2, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 13 hours ago) and read 5490 times:

I'm torn. Do I encourage this behavior by contributing my own comedic genius, or do I show scorn for the thread starter for punishing our eyes with this? I'll decide in the morning.

BAB scratchchin 



I'm just skipping stones...
User currently offlineKevinL1011 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 2964 posts, RR: 47
Reply 3, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 day 13 hours ago) and read 5459 times:

There's already a Shaving Brush thread.



Ooops! My bad!
You meant shaving bush!




474218, Carl, You will be missed.
User currently offlineGocaps16 From Japan, joined Jan 2000, 4358 posts, RR: 19
Reply 4, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 9 hours ago) and read 5216 times:

I need to trim my bush, you think she ll trim it for me?

Kevin



SIX T'S!......TURN. TIME. TWIST. THROTTLE. TALK. TRACK.
User currently offlineHatTrick From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 110 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 8 hours ago) and read 5191 times:

My wife once called me to say she had the crabs....................Yes, the soft shell Maryland Blue Crabs I asked her to pick up at the market.

User currently offlineDeltaGator From United States of America, joined Sep 2005, 6341 posts, RR: 13
Reply 6, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 8 hours ago) and read 5185 times:




"If you can't delight in the misery of others then you don't deserve to be a college football fan."
User currently offlineAsuflyer05 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 2373 posts, RR: 3
Reply 7, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 7 hours ago) and read 5127 times:

So you let another man help shave your wife's bush?

User currently offlinePhotopilot From Canada, joined Jul 2002, 2810 posts, RR: 18
Reply 8, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 5099 times:

Is the bush down in the valley where the little stream is? Do you have to fertilize the bush very often, or just a periodic re-seeding? Big grin  Big grin  Big grin

User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11955 posts, RR: 46
Reply 9, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 4 hours ago) and read 5029 times:

I liked the election campaign t-shirt with a pic of a nude woman with a shaved nether region, with the slogan "Read my lips, no bush after the election."

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineFlyDeltaJets87 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 3 hours ago) and read 5019 times:

Quoting Thom@s (Reply 9):
I liked the election campaign t-shirt with a pic of a nude woman with a shaved nether region, with the slogan "Read my lips, no bush after the election."

I found the "I like my women like I like my politics: No Bush" shirts pretty funny.


User currently offlineAeroflot777 From Russia, joined Mar 2004, 3012 posts, RR: 26
Reply 11, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 3 hours ago) and read 4998 times:

Yipee, one of these threads again...  Yeah sure

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Wife called, assuming you live together, it's YOUR bush too!

Aeroflot777


User currently offlineRobertNL070 From Netherlands, joined Sep 2003, 4533 posts, RR: 9
Reply 12, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 2 hours ago) and read 4945 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
causing it to grow much more slowly than the others.

Be sure to use rainwater, azaleas and rhododendrons do not appreciate tap-water unless it is very soft tap-water. If you haven't done it already, replacing some of the top soil with some acid soil will be advantageous. Avoid hoeing and forking around them because they are shallow-rooted. Once established they will need little care.

 Wink



Youth is a gift of nature. Age is a work of art.
User currently offlineTedTAce From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 hour ago) and read 4911 times:

As long as it's red, bush is good  Wink

User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (8 years 2 months 3 weeks 1 hour ago) and read 4906 times:

Quoting BaylorAirBear (Reply 2):
I'm torn. Do I encourage this behavior by contributing my own comedic genius

I'd say yes, if you actually HAD any. Alas...


User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 4
Reply 15, posted (8 years 2 months 2 weeks 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 4806 times:

Quoting Asuflyer05 (Reply 7):
So you let another man help shave your wife's bush?

No no no....she trimmed her own bush. The landscaper merely comes by to install a head. Sprinkler head.

Quoting Photopilot (Reply 8):
Is the bush down in the valley where the little stream is? Do you have to fertilize the bush very often, or just a periodic re-seeding?

I occasionally attempt to fertilize, but that's about it.

Quoting RobertNL070 (Reply 12):
Be sure to use rainwater, azaleas and rhododendrons do not appreciate tap-water unless it is very soft tap-water. If you haven't done it already, replacing some of the top soil with some acid soil will be advantageous.

We're feeding them some sort of silver compound that made them explode. With any luck, we'll have a fantastic bed of them about the time we move out.  Sad

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 13):
As long as it's red, bush is good

Close. We have a magenta shade and white. :-p

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 14):
I'd say yes, if you actually HAD any. Alas...

 checkmark 



User currently offlineVinnieWinnie From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 798 posts, RR: 0
Reply 16, posted (8 years 2 months 2 weeks 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 4706 times:

Loooooooooool reading the headline of your topic I really thought you were talking about another type of Bush!

Oh well my mistake  

Edit: kind or type of Bush? changed kind in type but not sure at all! Help!!!

[Edited 2006-09-11 18:00:25]

User currently offlineBaylorairbear From United States of America, joined Jan 2005, 2913 posts, RR: 49
Reply 17, posted (8 years 2 months 2 weeks 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 4688 times:

Quoting VinnieWinnie (Reply 16):
Loooooooooool reading the headline of your topic I really thought you were talking about another kind of Bush!



BAB



I'm just skipping stones...
User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 4
Reply 18, posted (8 years 2 months 2 weeks 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 4576 times:

Quoting VinnieWinnie (Reply 16):
I really thought you were talking about another type of Bush!

Don't be absurd. As if my wife could ever cut the President's hair. He's not even her Bush. She voted for McGovern.

Quoting VinnieWinnie (Reply 16):
kind or type of Bush?

Did you read past the title? Azaleas, man! Azaleas!


User currently offlineCfalk From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (8 years 2 months 2 weeks 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 4571 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

When I saw the headline, my first thought was "What the hell are you doing wasting time on the 'net talking about it? Say you have an emergency, get your ass back home ASAP, and get in there!!!"


User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 4
Reply 20, posted (8 years 2 months 2 weeks 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 4565 times:

Quoting Cfalk (Reply 19):

I would, but Armando The Pool Boy is there and he's bigger than me. Hell, I don't think our yard is even big enough for a pool.  worried 


User currently offlineVinnieWinnie From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 798 posts, RR: 0
Reply 21, posted (8 years 2 months 2 weeks 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 4488 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 18):
Don't be absurd. As if my wife could ever cut the President's hair. He's not even her Bush. She voted for McGovern.

Well there r 3 types of bushes I believe:

- One belonging to the white house!
- One which you find in your garden!
- Pubic hair around the genitals of a woman when there is loads of it there!

When I read the title of your post I thought about the 3rd option! My mistake...

Anyway looooooooooooooooool again!  Wink


User currently offlineIlikeyyc From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 1373 posts, RR: 20
Reply 22, posted (8 years 2 months 2 weeks 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 4481 times:

forget it

[Edited 2006-09-12 14:20:46]

[Edited 2006-09-12 14:22:45]


Fighting Absurdity with Absurdity!
User currently offlineKieron747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 23, posted (8 years 2 months 2 weeks 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 4480 times:

Quoting Ilikeyyc (Reply 22):
(you do have a pet beaver, right?)

Reply 6.  sarcastic 

Kieron747


User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 4
Reply 24, posted (8 years 2 months 2 weeks 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 4427 times:

Quoting VinnieWinnie (Reply 21):

Tis merely the lost art of double entendre.


25 TedTAce : I'm sure it belonged on whiners, but would have been absolutely hilarious!!!
26 Post contains images VinnieWinnie : C'est vrai
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