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Economist.com - An Honest In-flight Announcement  
User currently offlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20394 posts, RR: 62
Posted (7 years 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 2728 times:

In-flight announcements are not entirely truthful. What might an honest one sound like?

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. We are delighted to welcome you aboard Veritas Airways, the airline that tells it like it is. Please ensure that your seat belt is fastened, your seat back is upright and your tray-table is stowed. At Veritas Airways, your safety is our first priority. Actually, that is not quite true: if it were, our seats would be rear-facing, like those in military aircraft, since they are safer in the event of an emergency landing. But then hardly anybody would buy our tickets and we would go bust.

The flight attendants are now pointing out the emergency exits. This is the part of the announcement that you might want to pay attention to. So stop your sudoku for a minute and listen: knowing in advance where the exits are makes a dramatic difference to your chances of survival if we have to evacuate the aircraft. Also, please keep your seat belt fastened when seated, even if the seat-belt light is not illuminated. This is to protect you from the risk of clear-air turbulence, a rare but extremely nasty form of disturbance that can cause severe injury. Imagine the heavy food trolleys jumping into the air and bashing into the overhead lockers, and you will have some idea of how nasty it can be. We don't want to scare you. Still, keep that seat belt fastened all the same ... "


Link for the rest:

http://www.economist.com/opinion/PrinterFriendly.cfm?story_id=7884654


International Homo of Mystery
9 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineCoal From United States of America, joined Aug 2006, 1994 posts, RR: 9
Reply 1, posted (7 years 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 2721 times:

I posted this a few days ago in Civ-Av, but got deleted 'cause I posted the whole text since not everyone has E+ membership.

Still funny, though.

Coal



Nxt Flts: VA SYD-CBR-SYD | VA SYD-OOL-SYD | JQ SYD-MEL | VA MEL-CBR-SYD | DL SYD-LAX-ATL-MIA | B6 FLL-DCA-BOS | DL BOS-L
User currently offlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20394 posts, RR: 62
Reply 2, posted (7 years 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 2695 times:

I tested this out with someone who doesn't have a paid economist.com membership, and they were able to read it without any problems.


International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlineBill142 From Australia, joined Aug 2004, 8440 posts, RR: 8
Reply 3, posted (7 years 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 2671 times:

Does Veritas actually exisit? In airline form anyway.

User currently offlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20394 posts, RR: 62
Reply 4, posted (7 years 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 2664 times:

Quoting Bill142 (Reply 3):
Does Veritas actually exisit?

No. It's called parody.



International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlineBill142 From Australia, joined Aug 2004, 8440 posts, RR: 8
Reply 5, posted (7 years 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 2657 times:

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 4):
No. It's called parody.

I didn't realise the economist had a sense of humor.


User currently offlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20394 posts, RR: 62
Reply 6, posted (7 years 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 2652 times:

Quoting Bill142 (Reply 5):
I didn't realise the economist had a sense of humor.

You should see what they stuff their shirts with!



International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlinePlymSpotter From Spain, joined Jun 2004, 11615 posts, RR: 60
Reply 7, posted (7 years 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 2649 times:

Veritas was also the name of a Political Party set up the UK by Robery Kilroy Silk with the aim of telling the governement what the people think. With him in charge though it was just another Kilroy style disaster, and eventually he got booted out of his own party!


...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
User currently offlineDavestanKSAN From United States of America, joined Sep 2005, 1678 posts, RR: 13
Reply 8, posted (7 years 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 2630 times:

haha thats a cool article. The only part that's not true, or is in question IMO is the cell phone bit. I remember a thread on that topic recently in Civ-Av I think. Anyway, a good read, thanks AW!  Smile

Dave



Yesterday we've sinned, today we move towards God. Touch the sky....love and respect...Safe Star!
User currently offlineN1120A From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 26376 posts, RR: 76
Reply 9, posted (7 years 10 months 2 weeks 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 2591 times:

Quoting Bill142 (Reply 5):


I didn't realise the economist had a sense of humor.

You should read it more then.



Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
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