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My Fortune Cookie Told Me To Pleasure Myself  
User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 5
Posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 2147 times:

Grabbed some take out from Pei Wei this evening and got two fortune cookies in my bag. Not that I feel I needed permission, but the fortune read:

"You cannot make everyone happy. Please yourself first."

How fortuitous! This came only a couple of days after my Girls of the Big 12 issue of...um...Scrapbooking Today arrived.

I'll save the second cookie's apropos message for BAB's inevitable snide retort.  grumpy   biggrin 

Anyone else get a fortune that made you think, "This belongs on A.net's Non-Av Forum!"?

15 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20322 posts, RR: 63
Reply 1, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 2143 times:

You do realize you must always add "in bed" to the end of every fortune, right? So this is quite appropriate!

(Now truth be told, when I saw the thread title pop up, the first thing that came to mind was "Thank god he's not in Key West tonight".)  Wink



International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlineJetjack74 From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 7387 posts, RR: 51
Reply 2, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 2110 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
"You cannot make everyone happy. Please yourself first

A billion Chinese can't be wrong



Made from jets!
User currently offlineSkidmarks From UK - England, joined Dec 2004, 7121 posts, RR: 58
Reply 3, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 2108 times:

Come again?

Andy  old 



Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 2097 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
This came only a couple of days after my Girls of the Big 12 issue of...um...Scrapbooking Today arrived.

Hehe ! Foolish boy. But one should always obey cookies. Cookies are the messengers of God. I consult the revered Oracle of Hobnob every day for guidance.

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 3):
Come again?

Dirty old man.  old 


User currently offlineSkidmarks From UK - England, joined Dec 2004, 7121 posts, RR: 58
Reply 5, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 2094 times:

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 4):
I consult the revered Oracle of Hobnob every day for guidance.

With the resultant increase in weight and fat content! Big grin

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 4):
Dirty old man

And just what did you expect? I'm a fully paid up member of AVAODOM Big grin

Andy  old 



Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 5
Reply 6, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 2085 times:

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 4):
I consult the revered Oracle of Hobnob every day for guidance.

Knobhog?

Personally, I pray to Our Lady Of Worthless Miracles.  pray 


User currently offlineSkidmarks From UK - England, joined Dec 2004, 7121 posts, RR: 58
Reply 7, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 2036 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 6):
Personally, I pray to Our Lady Of Worthless Miracles.

It shows Big grin  stirthepot 

Andy  old 



Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 48
Reply 8, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 2019 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Anyone else get a fortune that made you think, "This belongs on A.net's Non-Av Forum!"?

"Skirts can be worn by men as long as you call it something else."

"If women shoes fits a male foot, wear them."

We got these

Signed
GKirk and Clogman.



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 5
Reply 9, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 1942 times:

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7):
It shows

Obviously not, as you've posted again.  grumpy 


User currently offlineWe're Nuts From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 5722 posts, RR: 20
Reply 10, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 1902 times:

Sperm Crisis (by Sean377 Sep 14 2006 in Non Aviation)

Coincidence?



Dear moderators: No.
User currently offlineCastleIsland From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1883 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
My Fortune Cookie Told Me To Pleasure Myself

And suddenly, it was a canoli.


User currently offlineCadet57 From United States of America, joined Jul 2005, 9085 posts, RR: 31
Reply 12, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 1883 times:

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 1):
You do realize you must always add "in bed" to the end of every fortune, right?

And with that:

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 3):
Come again?

In bed....  biggrin 



Doors open, right hand side, next stop is Springfield.
User currently offlineNotar520AC From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 1606 posts, RR: 4
Reply 13, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 2 days ago) and read 1866 times:

Quoting Cadet57 (Reply 12):
In bed....

Haha!  Big grin My favorite: "A little madness, a little kindness, makes for happiness."



BMW - The Ultimate Driving Machine
User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 5
Reply 14, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 1833 times:

Quoting CastleIsland (Reply 11):
And suddenly, it was a canoli.

 rotfl   rotfl   rotfl   rotfl 


User currently offlineScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 56
Reply 15, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 10 hours ago) and read 1760 times:

"Our first love, and last love, is self-love."

One of the guys at the curling club got this one and took great pleasure in telling everybody about it.  Smile



But that was when I ruled the world
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