Note: This is supposed to be a humorous thread with a bit of respect thrown in for our neighbors to the north, or to the east for us Alaskans.
Dear Canada,
Thanks for being a good neighbor, I know sometimes the US isn’t the best of friends with you, and you can be treated like the annoying little brother, many Americans do appreciate what you polite folks bring to us.
Your love and passion for the great sport of ice hockey, the beauty of the game is sometimes lost on your Yankee cousins, but many of us appreciate the speed, grace, and flow of the game. The mixture of hard hitting, aggressiveness with a scrap thrown in as part of the game is brilliant, the skating makes it so not just any idiot with two legs can play, one must skate and skate well. Canada, thank you for the best game on earth.
Despite our own problems in the US with health care, you freely accept our senior citizens to purchase their prescription drugs, while our leader condemns this act because those drugs are deemed unsafe because the price is lower as not to have to pay for advertisements of such drugs.
Thanks for being a good neighbor and not sending thousands of illegal immigrants and coke mules across our borders. The ones who do sneak across the border usually don’t stay, only to drop off their high quality marijuana and sneak back across in time for Don Cherry and Hockey night in Canada.
Thanks for your other contributions to comedy, music, and other pop culture related items. Keep sending Red Green shows; please get the Kids in the Hall back together! But please keep Nickelback at home. Canadian Bacon and the McKenzie brothers are great.
I know we often tease you here in this country for your parliamentary system, the ability to create universal health care for your citizens, and not having only two parties control the entire political scene is a positive thing. Although your gun control policies make little sense to us hear. But our deepest condolences about the tragedy that happened recently in Montreal.
Thanks for accepting NAFTA, it allowed powerful American corporations to move jobs not only from the US but Canada was well to Mexico, where our cars are now assembled, and despite all the jobs that were sucked from your country, and moved south, our southern neighbors cant control their population which seemingly want to move here, in Canada one only has to ask politely to get what they want from the population.
Here in America, although some may not be aware of it, or not care, many of us care about your support of our country in the period post 9-11. We DO appreciate your help in Afghanistan. We don’t blame you for not going with us in Iraq, it turns out you were the wiser country in not going down that path with us.
I know there are some concerns about your soldiers and friendly fire incidents with American war planes. I can assure you, that those were accidents, please know that the American Air Force has been there to help your troops in a jam 100x more often with brilliant close are support than the unfortunate incidents where fratricide occurred. I know there is a movement in your government to bring your troops home, but I ask you to think about the horrors we all watched live on TV during that horrible Tuesday morning. This war is against the people who protected the perpetrators of those terrible events. It is a just and dignified war against the Taliban. Please don’t leave us now; the Taliban is more powerful now than it was in January of 2002. Your troops have performed valiantly, and right now the US needs their help more than ever. With Iraq on the verge of civil war and collapse we cannot afford to divert troops away from that task to make up for the short fall. In short, I personally apologize for George W. Bush.
Lastly as my apologies, I am sorry the NHL moved teams out of your fine cities to the American south where they are largely non-appreciated, I hope the Stanley Cup returns to its rightful place north of the border soon.