Flpuck6 From United States of America, joined Jun 1999, 2119 posts, RR: 33 Reply 1, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 5 days ago) and read 1381 times:
Ok, maybe not stupid, but embarassing. I felt like I was going to hurl after eating a cheese omelette for b-fast on the plane. I got up and tried to make my way to the lav as fast as I could but ended up letting it go in the middle of the galley. Fortunately, it was on the linoleum part (i.e. not in the aisle). EW.
Some pax are completely clueles when they sit in the wrong seat or think they're in your seat because they're looking at the WRONG boarding pass.
Jj From Algeria, joined Jun 2001, 1227 posts, RR: 2 Reply 2, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 5 days ago) and read 1374 times:
(Varig Flt#RG944 florianopolis-buenos aires (EZE)
Meal was being served, and there was a choice of meat and pasta. I wa seated in row 17 of the boeing 737-300. When the FA reaches the seat before me, and the passenger asks for pasta, he is told that there is no more (that's what I thought to have heard).
So when he reaches me, before he can talk to me, I say: (yelling)
" I'm sure you can get me pasta. I'm by no means gonna eat that sort of thing that you call meat, and that is really a whole bunch of insects!, so you better find me pasta eh!, 'coz if not my complains are gonna be heard even in Madagascar."
He says: "But.."
And i interrupt him: "But nothing!! or if not I'm gonna be in charge for you to be fired" ( I can't believe I was so crazy"
Then he says: " We don't have any more meat, but we have more than 10 trays with the pasta choice.
Tguman From Canada, joined Apr 2001, 423 posts, RR: 2 Reply 5, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 23 hours ago) and read 1344 times:
Once, when i was asleep on the airlplane (not exactly asleep but in that groggy waking-up stage) and I had to fart. I thought it was going to be a silent one, however it wasn't and my mom ( she was sitting 8 rows in front) heard it. The old couple behind me moved to a different seat farther in the back. Good thing it was an empty flight on an AA A300.
777236ER From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 7, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 22 hours ago) and read 1340 times:
This is based on an old joke, but it's a good one.
I was on a BA 767 last year, and it got very bumpy towards the end. There was a middle-aged woman next to me who was obviously a little scared of flying. The turbulance didn't really help her. Anyway, I decided to be cruel, so i started visibly praying, crossing myself, saying "hail mary" etc...the woman said "oh, are you catholic?" I said (totally dead-pan, of course) "no, i'm the Boeing cheif test pilot". I looked out of the window, winced and shut the shade quickly and then resumed the praying with my eyes tightly shut. I can only guess the woman's responce.......
FlyCMH From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 2260 posts, RR: 11 Reply 9, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 20 hours ago) and read 1293 times:
I was on a USAirways flight between Pittsburgh and San Diego traveling with my younger brother. The flight attendants passed out the snack mix to my brother who was sitting on the aisle seat, me sitting in the middle seat, and the person next to me sitting at the window. My brother opened his bag of snack mix effortlessly while I fumbled around with mine. I tried pulling on it, tearing it, biting it off, but I couldn't get the blasted thing open. My brother offered his assistance, to which I sneared, "I think I can open up the bag myself." So grabbed two sides of the bag and pulled. The bag completely exploded, sending shards of pretzels, bagel bits, and cheese sticks raining on me, my brother, the person at the window seat, and the people seated behind and infront of me. There was a moment of scilence as my face turned beet red, and then all of us started to laugh. I looked inside what was left of the small plastic bag to find some salt and pretzel parts. The flight attendant did give me another bag of snack mix though.
SophieMaltese From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2064 posts, RR: 3 Reply 10, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 19 hours ago) and read 1281 times:
One time while deplaning I turned to look at the cute FO and almost fell on my ass as he said "Goodbye."
Last week I went in the bathroom on an ERJ and put soap all over my hands to wash them. Then I pushed the faucet and realized there was no water. It wasn't really stupid on my part because it's usually safe to assume there will be water, but it was still yucky.
Airplanenut From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 649 posts, RR: 1 Reply 16, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 10 hours ago) and read 1221 times:
And then there was my Amsterdam-Newark flight in April...
Continental 757, 6 across. the "non bumpy" flight was hardly not turbulent. I was sitting in between my mom and this fat guy trying to do y homework. It is really hard to get a 5 pound text book, a spiral bound notebook and a pam pilot as a calculator on that little tray.
To the fat guy. A little drunk? I think so... here is what he drank:
THREE (3) 16oz. Beers
TWO (2) Small bottles of wine (maybe 10-16oz)
THREE (3) Scotch Whiskeys...
And he was wheezing away like there was no tomorrow. I was abou to tell the FA thta he was making me drunk wheezing all over me... Then I thought, 2 more hours to go, and then the fun, nortoiously bumpy 22L approach to KEWR... and the worst thing... no pics from international baggage claim. so no shots of the SAS Star Alliance 763 :-(
PS- During the head of mad cow, this was my agricultural check in the US:
him "were you on any farms"
me "umm.... no..."
him "have a nice day!!!"
Paulc From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2001, 1490 posts, RR: 0 Reply 18, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 9 hours ago) and read 1209 times:
Coming back from Athens BA707 in 1979 - the inflight meal did not agree with me at all - luckly we were sat at the back of the plane so as we taxied it i ran to the toilet - only just making it too!
Came back to my seat looking a bit pale and coughing a bit from the smell - just after we stopped the rear passenger door opened to let some officals on - the first thing one said was "f*** me who's died in here then'
Leftseat86 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 21, posted (11 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 3 hours ago) and read 1176 times:
1.I accidentally pissed in the sink rather than the toilet on an Air France 747. Boy the altitude sure can mess you up!
2.I opened up a Lav once to find an FA adjusting her bra!!! Guess even after all those years she still couldn't figure out how to close the door! (again AF 744)
3.Went to the galley, got a coke, and while returning to my seat, we hit some clear air turbulence, and, well the guy in the seat I had decided to hold onto stayed sticky till after landing...
4.My dad asked for a menu on a Coach Delta flight from DFW to MIA. The FA said "sandwich", but he insisted on having a choice. Finally, she said "Look sir, it's either sandwich or no sandwich, you choose!" to which he replied that he wasn't hungry anyway...