KBFIspotter From United States of America, joined May 2005, 729 posts, RR: 1 Posted (8 years 3 weeks 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 2893 times:
I just found this while surfing the net:
You may be a redneck pilot if...
Your stall warning plays Dixie.
You get your pre-flight briefing from the Phsycic Hotline.
Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as checkpoints.
You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.
You've ever used moonshine as Avgas.
You have mudflaps on your wheel pants.
Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
You've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee.
You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock.
The side of your airplane has a sign advertising your septic tank service.
Your aircraft has a hitch.
You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight.
You refer to formation flying as "we got us a convoy".
You're matched set of luggage is three grocery bags from Piggly Wiggly.
You've ever fueled your airplane from a mason jar.
You've got a gun rack on the passenger window.
You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.
Your preflight includes removing all of the clover, grass, and wheat from your landing gear.
You figure the weight of the mud and manure on your airplane into the CG calculations.
You siphon gas from your tractor to put in your airplane.
You've never landed at an actual airport though you've been flying for years.
You've ground looped after hitting a cow.
You consider anything over 100' AGL to be high altitude flight.
There are parts of your airplane labeled John Deere.
You've never actually seen a sectional but have all of the Texaco road maps for your flying area.
There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco stains on the left.
You have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep and goats.
You use your parachute to cover your plane.
You've ever landed on the main street of town to get a cup of coffee.
The tread pattern, if any, on your main tires doesn't match.
Your primary comm. radio has 90 channels.
Your comm antenna is over 7 feet long.
You call up the tower with "Breaker Breaker"
You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass.
You put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.
You use you landing light for hunting.
Your flight instructor's day job is at the community sales barn.
You've got matching bumper stickers on the vertical fin.
There are grass stains on your propeller tips.
The FAA still thinks you live at your parents' house.
Your hangar collapses and more than 4 dogs are injured.
When starting the prop you injure five dogs.
Somewhere on your airplane is an "I'd rather be fishing" bumper sticker.
You navigate with your ADF tuned to exclusively country stations.
When you go to the airport cafe they hand you biscuits and gravy instead of a menu.
You think that an ultralight is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.
You siphon Jat-A out of your King Air for your space heater.
Just before the crash, everybody at the airport heard you say, "Hey, Y'all watch this!!"
NeilYYZ From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (8 years 3 weeks 4 days 22 hours ago) and read 2665 times:
Most people call me a redneck because I like NASCAR, Budweiser, drinking in a garage and work construction in the summers. I go to University and proudly wear my NASCAR coat around campus, and if people want to call me a redneck, fine by me.
BHMBAGLOCK From United States of America, joined Jul 2005, 2698 posts, RR: 5
Reply 7, posted (8 years 3 weeks 4 days 12 hours ago) and read 2509 times:
Here's a few more:
- Your a/c has a three point hitch and a PTO
- Cage in the back of the a/c for hunting dogs
- All the seats in the a/c came from the Bass Pro Shops catalog
- You've converted the toolbox on one nacelle into a cooler and the other into a live bait well
- You bought a twin so you could strap a deer on the hood without worrying about the exhaust or prop messing it up
- NRA sticker in the window of your a/c
Here are a few from L-188 from an earlier thread:
Quote: You lay a blue tarp in the front yard so everybody that flies over in an airplane will think you have a pool.
Edit: Thought of one for you guys here......If your boat and airplane are powered by the same engine...you might be a redneck.
And yes, I'm the one who pointed out that the first boat I got to drive when I was a kid had a Continental(not Ford/Lincoln) engine.
L-188 From United States of America, joined Jul 1999, 29812 posts, RR: 58
Reply 8, posted (8 years 3 weeks 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 2464 times:
Quoting BHMBAGLOCK (Reply 7): And yes, I'm the one who pointed out that the first boat I got to drive when I was a kid had a Continental(not Ford/Lincoln) engine.
A lot of old O-235's end up there.
Ray Stevens did a song a few years back called, "Southern Air" my favorite line is the pilot, (Jerry Clower) getting on the PA system and tellng the passengers, "Now yall don't worry about that landing none....my brother put on a new set of them new Goodyear Mudripper tires!!!!"
Always picture a supercub with lugged tundra tires when I remember that phrase.
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
This was a relatively new one actually. Some druggies crash-landed a Cessna on his property in the Everglades so my uncle just liberated the engine and put a fixed pitch prop on it then mounted it to the back of an airboat. Faster than it needed to be for sure.