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Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge  
User currently offlinePJFlysFast From United States of America, joined May 2006, 463 posts, RR: 1
Posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 3125 times:

I have not heard a good joke in a while so if any of you think you are up to the challenge of making me and others laugh go right ahead and pictures are also funny so use some if you have some.  biggrin 

26 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineMyt332 From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2003, 9112 posts, RR: 71
Reply 1, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 3122 times:

Quoting PJFlysFast (Thread starter):
go right ahead and pictures are also funny so use some if you have some

I'll dig out my photos of JGPH1A and Pe@rson.



One Life, Live it.
User currently offlineCosec59 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 6 hours ago) and read 3128 times:

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 1):
I'll dig out my photos of JGPH1A and Pe@rson.

Is JGPH1A burning his backside on a lightbulb?


User currently offlineMyt332 From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2003, 9112 posts, RR: 71
Reply 3, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 3105 times:

Quoting Cosec59 (Reply 2):
Is JGPH1A burning his backside on a lightbulb?

No this is the hamster felching incident. Quite horrific. Armageddon!



One Life, Live it.
User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 5
Reply 4, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 3105 times:

A white missionary in Africa spent several months with a nomadic tribe in a remote part of the countryside. One day, the Chief's daughter gave birth to an albino child. Unfamiliar with genetics, the Chief was livid. He chased-down the missionary and dragged him back to his hut.

"You violate daughter. You must die," said the Chief.

"Wait!" pled the missionary, "Let me explain! The child is an albino. A freak of nature caused by a genetic foul-up!"

The Chief looked confused, so the misisonary tried to think of a way to illustrate his point.

"Look at that flock of sheep. All but one are white. The black one..."

The Chief suddenly looked terrified and cut-off the missionary. He leaned in close and said, "Listen. You no tell about sheep and I no tell about baby."


User currently offlinePlymSpotter From Spain, joined Jun 2004, 11572 posts, RR: 61
Reply 5, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 3101 times:

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 3):
No this is the hamster felching incident. Quite horrific. Armageddon!

Dare I ask which one was doing the felching? I mean, has the hamster got out yet?  Wow!



...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 48
Reply 6, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 3094 times:

Bet you can't name all three of Donald Duck's sons...

(or whatever)  Yeah sure  Wink

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineMyt332 From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2003, 9112 posts, RR: 71
Reply 7, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 3084 times:

Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 5):
mean, has the hamster got out yet?

Well you see, Pe@rson went to investigate where the hamster had gotten to but soon found out he couldn't see much down there. This lead him to take out a match and light it around the anus area. Sadly the resulting flame ignited a pocket of methane gas which propelled the poor hamster out of JGP's bottom like a cannonball hitting the wall, splattering it's tiny brains everywhere.



One Life, Live it.
User currently offlinePlymSpotter From Spain, joined Jun 2004, 11572 posts, RR: 61
Reply 8, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 3074 times:

I dread to think what happened to Pe@rson then. Or perhaps he's yet to find his way out  duck 


...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 3074 times:

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 7):
Well you see, Pe@rson went to investigate where the hamster had gotten to but soon found out he couldn't see much down there. This lead him to take out a match and light it around the anus area. Sadly the resulting flame ignited a pocket of methane gas which propelled the poor hamster out of JGP's bottom like a cannonball hitting the wall, splattering it's tiny brains everywhere.

You clearly have a great deal of experience in this area - do share ! As for these heinous insinuations, I deny everything - I am a peaceful herbivore.


User currently offlineAirTranTUS From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 3068 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 4):
The Chief suddenly looked terrified and cut-off the missionary. He leaned in close and said, "Listen. You no tell about sheep and I no tell about baby."

 rotfl   rotfl   rotfl 

I didn't know Gkirk was an African Chief!  Wow!


User currently offlineBaylorAirBear From United States of America, joined Jan 2005, 2913 posts, RR: 50
Reply 11, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 3054 times:

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 9):
As for these heinous insinuations

What? Anus insertions?

BAB



I'm just skipping stones...
User currently offlineKiwiandrew From New Zealand, joined Jun 2005, 8492 posts, RR: 14
Reply 12, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 3051 times:
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Quoting Thom@s (Reply 6):
Bet you can't name all three of Donald Duck's sons...

nephews actually .

but that does remind me of a very lame joke

Mickey and Minnie Mouse are in the divorce court , it has been a long a bitter case but finally the judge has reached a decision .

"It is a very sad day today , you have both been idols and role models for millions of children around the world . I now have to advise you Mr Mouse that the court appointed psychiatrist has examined Mrs Mouse and declared her to be mentally sound , I am therefore denying your petition for divorce on the grounds of insanity"

to which Mickey squeakily replies in that annoying high pitched whine of his


....



....




...

"But your honour , I never said she was insane......



.... I said she was fuckin' Goofy"



Moderation in all things ... including moderation ;-)
User currently offline808TWA From Canada, joined Jan 2006, 701 posts, RR: 20
Reply 13, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 3039 times:

What do you call an Italian suppository?............an Innuendo

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?................because the sound of a zipper scares the sheep.

How was copper wire invented?...................Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.



cough, cough,


-Alan



Love is in the air, so practice safe flying
User currently offlineIAH777 From United States of America, joined Mar 2008, 0 posts, RR: 5
Reply 14, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 3029 times:

Quoting 808TWA (Reply 13):

How does a Scotsman find sheep in tall grass?


















Very satisfying.


User currently offlineSpeedbird747BA From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 15, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 3022 times:

Quoting 808TWA (Reply 13):
Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?................because the sound of a zipper scares the sheep.



Quoting IAH777 (Reply 14):
How does a Scotsman find sheep in tall grass?

Very satisfying.

Kirkie wont like these.....excellent jokes!!  rotfl 

Cheers,
Kyle


User currently offline808TWA From Canada, joined Jan 2006, 701 posts, RR: 20
Reply 16, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 3022 times:

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 14):
How does a Scotsman find sheep in tall grass?

Hahahaha.....good one.

Isn't it strange how there is no such thing as virgin wool in Scotland !  Big grin



Love is in the air, so practice safe flying
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 17, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 3022 times:

Quoting BaylorAirBear (Reply 11):
What? Anus insertions?

BAB, I've told you already - no means NO !  yuck  I only date humans.


User currently offlineSprout5199 From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 1833 posts, RR: 2
Reply 18, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 3010 times:

Told to me by my 6 year old daughter(and she made up on her own)

"Daddy, what's the biggest plant in the world?"










"The power plant"

Dan in Jupiter


User currently offlinePlymSpotter From Spain, joined Jun 2004, 11572 posts, RR: 61
Reply 19, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 3007 times:

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 17):
BAB, I've told you already - no means NO ! I only date humans

What about that time with Cornish?  duck 



...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
User currently offline808TWA From Canada, joined Jan 2006, 701 posts, RR: 20
Reply 20, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 3007 times:

Quoting Speedbird747BA (Reply 15):
Kirkie wont like these.....excellent jokes!!

Lucky for me that I'm Scottish......whew!!

-Alan



Love is in the air, so practice safe flying
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 2994 times:

Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 19):
What about that time with Cornish?

That was strictly business. And I got a full refund from Consumer Protection.  Smile


User currently offline9V From China, joined Aug 2008, 0 posts, RR: 0
Reply 22, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 2984 times:



User currently offlineDavid L From United Kingdom, joined May 1999, 9483 posts, RR: 42
Reply 23, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 2937 times:

Quoting 808TWA (Reply 13):
How was copper wire invented?...................Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.

If we're going to dig out the old ones...

How was the Grand Canyon formed?...... A Scotsman chasing a penny down a rabbit hole.


User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11951 posts, RR: 48
Reply 24, posted (7 years 5 months 1 week 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 2927 times:

Quoting Kiwiandrew (Reply 12):
nephews actually .

Exactly...  Wink

Anyway, this one is fun for football supporters (without blue kits)...



Made me laugh anyway... Big grin

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
25 Post contains images Jamie757 : Here's one from the collection... John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roo
26 Post contains images Flyingbronco05 : The reason why #1 kept flaming out.....
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