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Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift  
User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 1713 times:

What's the worst gift you've ever received/given/heard of? My buddy once received an electric quesadilla maker. Five years later, it's still in the box.


"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
30 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 46
Reply 1, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 1701 times:

A framed portrait of Elvis along with a box of Hickory Farms assorted jams, jellies, and marmalades.

User currently offlineEasternSon From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 668 posts, RR: 1
Reply 2, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 1695 times:

My sister, since she's a health nut, was given a contraption that allowed you to make your own organic yogurt at home.

The first ingredient listed was one quart of organic yogurt.

So, basically, in order to make organic yogurt at home, you first go to the store and buy organic yogurt and put it into the machine?



"The only people for me are the mad ones...." Jack Kerouac
User currently offlineSabena332 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 1691 times:

A computer mouse with a Lufthansa logo on it -----> trash can.

Patrick


User currently offlineKieron747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 1679 times:



Signed,

HPLASOps


User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8707 posts, RR: 42
Reply 5, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 6 days 2 hours ago) and read 1634 times:

Quoting EasternSon (Reply 2):
So, basically, in order to make organic yogurt at home, you first go to the store and buy organic yogurt and put it into the machine?

Shame... I thought people knew how yogurt is made.  no 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yogurt



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineEasternSon From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 668 posts, RR: 1
Reply 6, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 23 hours ago) and read 1594 times:

Quoting Aloges (Reply 5):
Shame... I thought people knew how yogurt is made.

All yogurt is made from yogurt? Interesting. I guess you do learn something new every day.

But which came first, the yogurt or the yogurt?



"The only people for me are the mad ones...." Jack Kerouac
User currently offlineIFEMaster From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 23 hours ago) and read 1587 times:

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 4):

 rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl 

 highfive 

Brilliant!


User currently offlineKmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 7
Reply 8, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 23 hours ago) and read 1565 times:

2 rolls of Rubbermaid shelf liner


'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8707 posts, RR: 42
Reply 9, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1549 times:

Quoting EasternSon (Reply 6):
But which came first, the yogurt or the yogurt?

The gerrrrmmmmsssss....  devil 



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 10, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 22 hours ago) and read 1547 times:

Quoting EasternSon (Reply 6):
All yogurt is made from yogurt? Interesting. I guess you do learn something new every day.

Kind of makes you wonder on which day God created yogurt...



"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineAloges From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 8707 posts, RR: 42
Reply 11, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 1543 times:

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 10):
Kind of makes you wonder on which day God created yogurt...

Sixth day - why do you think did he have to rest on the seventh?



Walk together, talk together all ye peoples of the earth. Then, and only then, shall ye have peace.
User currently offlineTZ757300 From United States of America, joined Aug 2005, 2868 posts, RR: 6
Reply 12, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 1531 times:

Quoting LHMARK (Thread starter):
What's the worst gift you've ever received/given/heard of?

Recived:

Coal


Heard:

Flight trackers (snow globes)



LETS GO MOUNTAINEERS!
User currently offlineLHMARK From United States of America, joined Jan 2000, 7255 posts, RR: 46
Reply 13, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 21 hours ago) and read 1520 times:



Signed,
Birdwatching



"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
User currently offlineOzarkD9S From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 5111 posts, RR: 21
Reply 14, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 1457 times:

A dancing Santa that sings the most lame version of "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree" imaginable.

I am now a Buddhist.



Next Up: STL-LGA-RIC-ATL-STL
User currently offlineAndz From South Africa, joined Feb 2004, 8453 posts, RR: 10
Reply 15, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1452 times:
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I think the Bobby Gaylor song "Stop Giving Me Crap For Christmas" says it all...

Just when you think you know me
And I give you credit for being on the ball
Christmas rolls around, I open your gift
And I see, you don't know me at all
So if you don't listen to anything else
That I say all year long
Pay close attention to this
Because it's my real holiday wish

STOP GIVING ME USELESS CRAP FOR CHRISTMAS!

Forget the Clapper, I don't need to turn my lights off from bed
I don't want a Chia Dog, a Chia Sheep, a Chia Cow, or a Chia Head
And don't get some movie on video that's been marked down to $3.99
You wouldn't want to watch this piece of junk, why do you think I want to waste my time?
Now here's something that cuts me to the bone:
You order a subscription to Sports Illustrated,
You keep the magazine and give me the stupid football phone.
And I don't need Abs of Steel,
Buns of Steel,
Richard Simmons' Deal-a-Meal
Or absolutely anything made by Ron Popeil

STOP GIVING ME USELESS CRAP FOR CHRISTMAS!

(Chorus)
Stop giving me crap for Christmas
Useless crap
Stop giving me crap for Christmas

I don't need a radar detector, a compass, or a dashboard Jesus
Or my intestines bound up by a box of Hickory Farm Cheeses
I don't need the Showtime Oven that cooks, like, 2 ducks, 12 garlic bulbs, and a turkey
Or a food dehydrator if it dries fruit or beef jerky
And please, no wall-mounted or counter-top spice racks
Or the Ab Roller, Ab Slide, Ab Rocker, Ab Dolly or the Torso Track
No calendars featuring supermodel bimbos or babies in hats
And no Christmas music by the Jingle Dogs or the Jingle Cats
And ask me my size.
I'm tying my shirt so my fingers don't even poke out of the sleeves
And hey, isn't this the fruitcake Uncle Mike gave you last Christmas Eve?
And if you're even remotely thinking about getting me that singing, joke-telling, wall-mounted bass,
Just remember what that rhymes with, because that's where I'm gonna stick it.

STOP GIVING ME USELESS CRAP FOR CHRISTMAS!

(Chorus)

Alright, listen up.
I don't want anything proceeded by the word "decroative,"
Anything that comes with a stuffed bear or a troll doll that says "I love you."
No electronic devices that, when you push a button, say things like "Hey stupid!" or "Up yours!"
I don't want a pasta maker, a bread maker, a juice maker, a waffle maker, sandwich maker, salad maker, label maker, be a maker, wine maker,
Sausage maker, ice cream maker, pastry maker, salsa maker, coffee maker, sun tea maker
If I want that stuff, I'll buy it
I don't want anything that chops, beats, grinds, purees, minces, or slices
Cubes, shreds, blends, seperates, juliens, or dices
No 2-gallon bottles of generic shampoo "Now with 10% More!"
And nothing advertized with the slogan "Not available in any store!"
You know, they say it's the thought that counts,
So instead of making me cringe every year with what you bought,
Let's call it even forever and stop at the thought.

STOP GIVING ME USELESS CRAP FOR CHRISTMAS!

(Chorus)

Forget about the one-pount Hershey Kiss or the big pack of Life Savers,
And no smoked almonds in a dozen obscene artificial flavors,
I don't want a subscription to "Fielder's Dreams," "Sailing," or "Understanding Zen,"
And I stopped wearing pajamas when I was ten
And if you're thinking of anything from an infomercial by Tony Robbins, Body by Jake, Don Debris, Mary Lou Harris, Susanna Summers or Billy Blanks
I got two words for you: "No thanks!"
Here's something not to get me:
A coffee mug with a slogan that says something like,
"Don't talk to Bobby, he hasn't had his coffee yet."
You're an idiot!

(Repeat chorus until end)



After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF...
User currently offlineKieron747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1446 times:

Quoting Aloges (Reply 5):
I thought people knew how yogurt is made.

This one's better.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Yoghurt

Kieron747


User currently offlineRichardPrice From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 17, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 1438 times:

I once got a £10.00 gift voucher for a shop that had closed down on Dec 24th.

User currently offlineLTBEWR From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 13115 posts, RR: 12
Reply 18, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1416 times:

Quoting Andz (Reply 15):
I think the Bobby Gaylor song "Stop Giving Me Crap For Christmas" says it all...

Got a good laugh out of these lyrics  laughing  Good way to start the day. It certainly speaks the truth of the WTF/'What were they thinking' gifts we get every year. Perhaps we need to send these lyrics to all of our gift giving impaired relatives and friends.
In our family, we exchange ideas for gifts, sizes, preferred styles and so on well before Christmas to hopefully get what we want and need to reduce the risks of getting boobie gifts.
The worst is when you get a 'regift', some junk the giver got as a gift too (perhaps from you!). A gift should me something one can use, enjoy, benefit from. I tend to prefer dress shirts, casual shirts in my size, ties (not too many), every several years a jacket or coat, and what ever else is on my list. If you are really stumped, get them an American Express Gift Card, as can be used for almost anything, almost anywhere.

Some of the worst items I recall getting:
A reindeer shaped candy dispenser - it dispensed small round chocolate candies out it's...well...you know where. Then ended up in the garbage soon.
Shirts or sweaters of designs or colors I wouldn't be caught dead in. They ended up in the Salvation Army collection bin a few months later.
Aftershave, colonge, soap on a rope, usually of a cheap variety. Never use them as usually makes my skin break out.
Scarves - I already have enough so I could wear a different one each day for a week.
Various games, especially ones that are small, portable, with a lot of pieces. I never will use them.
Some of the items noted in the above song lyrics or like them.


User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31684 posts, RR: 56
Reply 19, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 4 hours ago) and read 1398 times:

Since its a gift & I dont choose it.To me all Gifts are Good,But I'd say some were UnImportant like a Bottle of Sand  Smile
regds
MEL



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineJamesbuk From United Kingdom, joined May 2005, 3968 posts, RR: 4
Reply 20, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 1384 times:

Quoting RichardPrice (Reply 17):

Was that a music shop? as i got a £20 voucher for a music that shut down very close around christmas, I was hacked off a bit but got over it since it was only a crappy music store.  silly 

Rgds --James--



You cant have your cake and eat it... What the hells the point in having it then!!!
User currently offlineNkops From United States of America, joined Jun 2005, 2665 posts, RR: 6
Reply 21, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 22 hours ago) and read 1357 times:

Fruitcake comes to mind....


I have no association with Spirit Airlines
User currently offlineVivek0072 From India, joined Jun 2005, 284 posts, RR: 0
Reply 22, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 1305 times:

We don't celebrate Christmas in the family but coincidentally it is my b'day. Some of the worst gifts were clothes that just don't fit, soft toys - who gifts soft toys to a guy ?
But the worst are b'day cards that have 'seasons greetings' written on them.



That life's most failures were people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up. - Edison.
User currently offlinePope From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 23, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 1300 times:

a combo black and white tv set, air compressor, and emergency flash light that my in-laws thought would be useful. I actually told my wife to have them take it back for a refund because it was like $90. What a waste!

User currently offlineYYZflyer From Canada, joined Feb 2006, 3643 posts, RR: 4
Reply 24, posted (7 years 9 months 3 weeks 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 1268 times:

Long-sleeved shirts. I don't like wearing the ones that are thin. Too uncomfortable. I get them from family every year, they just end up in my room somewhere. I don't wear them. Two or three years ago I told my parents that I didn't want presents anymore and that I wanted money. I still got the stocking things though. I have been saving my money for a looong time, now it's finally going to work to my benefit, on Dec 26 I'm buying a DSLR. Back then I didn't even have an interest in photography. So lucky me. Big grin


Avoid hangovers, stay drunk.
25 ZKSUJ : An IOU Still waiting for the cash back...
26 Post contains images Garri767 : shouldnt that have been in the "Most helpful Gifts" thread? Garri767
27 Post contains images Carmenlu15 : An el-cheapo plastic jewelry box, that I got on one of those Christmas gift exchange things at work. The minimum price we had all agreed on was disreg
28 Post contains links and images Halcyon : Hilarious! I clicked to the next link and then got to a page on Weird Al ( http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/%22Weird_Al%22_Yankovic )...must say it was a
29 Post contains images Femme : Brilliant!!! Brut Aftershave for my dad who has had a beard for years One of those glass fish ornaments with the multi colours Half a car cleaning ki
30 GAIsweetGAI : How weird would a can of corn be? (It didn't happen, it's just a weird idea)
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