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Sick Jokes  
User currently offlineDaleaholic From UK - England, joined Oct 2005, 3204 posts, RR: 13
Posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 1717 times:

Haven't had one for a while so thought I'd get one rolling...

Forewarning... If you are easily offended... DO NOT READ ON!
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Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic Santa?


A. He's going around Ipswich leaving prossies under the trees .



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bernard Matthews has put up a £10,000 reward for the arrest of East Anglia prostitute killer.

He commented "I've been strangling birds here for years, this is my patch."

Let's hear yours!!! Big grin


Religion is an illusion of childhood... Outgrown under proper education.
18 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineStrasserB From Singapore, joined Nov 2005, 1541 posts, RR: 7
Reply 1, posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 1702 times:




Still, even in the most arid desert is an airport somewhere ...
User currently offlineBagpiper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 1696 times:

Quoting StrasserB (Reply 1):

I agree.

Maybe he's drunk. Or been up for 15 hours.


User currently offlineDaleaholic From UK - England, joined Oct 2005, 3204 posts, RR: 13
Reply 3, posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 1685 times:

Quoting Bagpiper (Reply 2):
Maybe he's drunk. Or been up for 15 hours.

Perhaps you don't watch the news... OR read the newspaper.



Religion is an illusion of childhood... Outgrown under proper education.
User currently offlineSpeedbirdie From United Kingdom, joined May 2006, 915 posts, RR: 53
Reply 4, posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 1670 times:

No, i get it. Ive had about half a million text jokes from Lew about these Ipswich murders!! Infact, I got one about 20 mins ago from him!
My fav one is this one tho...

You think its cold outside? Its Minus 5 in Ipswich at the moment....



Never give up..
User currently offlineStrasserB From Singapore, joined Nov 2005, 1541 posts, RR: 7
Reply 5, posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 1662 times:

Quoting Daleaholic (Reply 3):
OR read the newspaper.

OK, I googled for that text and got this one:




Still, even in the most arid desert is an airport somewhere ...
User currently offline9V From China, joined Aug 2008, 0 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 1655 times:

I know I shouldn't but...



User currently offlineEWS From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 1646 times:

Quoting 9V (Reply 6):
I know I shouldn't but...

 rotf !

Quoting Speedbirdie (Reply 4):
No, i get it. Ive had about half a million text jokes from Lew about these Ipswich murders!! Infact, I got one about 20 mins ago from him!

yes and i got half a million replies "You sick bastard!"

Lew  cheerful 


User currently offline9V From China, joined Aug 2008, 0 posts, RR: 0
Reply 8, posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 15 hours ago) and read 1631 times:

I like this one.



User currently offlineNighthawk From UK - Scotland, joined Sep 2001, 5093 posts, RR: 35
Reply 9, posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 1585 times:

Whats the difference between Mr Kipling and the Ipswich Ripper??

Mr Kipling puts 6 tarts in a box....

-------------

Ipswich Rugby Club has had to cancel the remainder of the season. Apparently they are experiencing a shortage of hookers.

-------------

JOB VACANCY
Position: Prostitute
Location: Ipswich
Description: Excellent pay, but the shifts are murder!



That'll teach you
User currently offline9V From China, joined Aug 2008, 0 posts, RR: 0
Reply 10, posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 1583 times:

I just made this!



User currently offlineEWS From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 1575 times:

Quoting 9V (Reply 10):
I just made this!

Where did you get that photograph of MYT332 waiting for the 1103 Glasgow - Longdon train?  rotf 

Lew


User currently offlineScbriml From United Kingdom, joined Jul 2003, 12040 posts, RR: 47
Reply 12, posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 1568 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Quoting Daleaholic (Thread starter):
Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic Santa?

A. He's going around Ipswich leaving prossies under the trees .

 rotfl 



Hey AA, the 1960s called. They want their planes back!
User currently offlineJamesbuk From United Kingdom, joined May 2005, 3968 posts, RR: 4
Reply 13, posted (7 years 4 months 6 days 12 hours ago) and read 1550 times:

Ipswich FC have had to cancel there up coming game due to a dyslexic muderer killing or the substitutes.  silly 

rgds --James--

P.S. the old ipswich ones are getting round quick!



You cant have your cake and eat it... What the hells the point in having it then!!!
User currently offlineZippyjet From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 5402 posts, RR: 12
Reply 14, posted (7 years 4 months 5 days 9 hours ago) and read 1390 times:

OK, moving right along.... I believe it was the latest FHM issue the joke of the month. The guy/gal wins like some kind of Sharper Image thingy...

A man is dead and is in hell with the devil. There are three doors. The devil being in a generous mood asks this guy to pick one. The guy opens the first door and there is a man hanging by the neck being bar b qued by fire. The guy says no thanks. The devil then opens door number 2, there is some poor soul being tortured. The guy tells the devil no thanks.
Door number three is opened and there is a hottie blonde woman giving a big ass hairy fat guy amazing head. The guy smiles at the devil and says, I'll take door number three!
And......

the devil tells the hottie chick. You can stop now, your relief is here!

I guess if this guy didn't have shitty luck he'd have no luck at all.

Happy holidays to all! From
Big version: Width: 462 Height: 150 File size: 17kb



I'm Zippyjet & I approve of this message!
User currently offlineBHXFAOTIPYYC From Portugal, joined Jun 2005, 1644 posts, RR: 0
Reply 15, posted (7 years 4 months 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 1365 times:

Books unlikely to be on sale this Christmas....

Big version: Width: 192 Height: 286 File size: 39kb


Big version: Width: 238 Height: 339 File size: 9kb



Breakfast in BHX, lunch in FAO, dinner in TIP, baggage in YYC.
User currently offlineAsstChiefMark From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (7 years 4 months 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 1349 times:

Buy Your Ex the perfect Christmas present ... Black boots, short leather miniskirt, fishnet stockings, and a one-way ticket To Ipswich.

Mark


User currently offlineEWS From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 17, posted (7 years 4 months 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 1296 times:

Quoting BHXFAOTIPYYC (Reply 15):

 rotf  Oh My...

Lew


User currently offlineScbriml From United Kingdom, joined Jul 2003, 12040 posts, RR: 47
Reply 18, posted (7 years 4 months 4 days 15 hours ago) and read 1224 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 16):
Buy Your Ex the perfect Christmas present ... Black boots, short leather miniskirt, fishnet stockings, and a one-way ticket To Ipswich.

 spit  rotfl 



Hey AA, the 1960s called. They want their planes back!
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