Matt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 43 Posted (13 years 9 months 2 days ago) and read 888 times:
Hello, my name is Matt and I suffer from the guilt of
not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent
to me by people who actually believe that if you send
them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a
breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough
money to have it removed before her redneck parents
sell her to a traveling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to
give you, and everyone to whom you send e-mail,
$1000? How stupid are you?
Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and
make a wish, I'll get laid by every good looking model
in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit.
Basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the
people out there who have nothing better to do than to
send me stupid chain mail forwards.
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come
into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not
continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD
and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower. Fuck them.
If you're going to forward something, at least send
me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send
this to 10 of your closest friends" and this poor,
wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
receive a nickel from some omniscient being.
I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what
you're actually contributing to by sending out
Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's
threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the
rest of your life, delete it.
If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by
making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana
with no teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant
for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents
per letter he'll receive if you forward this e-mail.
Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise,
tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will
consume your genitals.
Matt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 43
Reply 7, posted (13 years 9 months 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 798 times:
I'm sorry you feel that way Stretch 8!
In the moments immediately following a yank session for me, I actually feel pretty good and relaxed! And the best part of it is there is no guilt. No one to have to "hold", no one to push out the door.
Yanking off is the greatest source of fulfillment I have.
Lehpron From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 7028 posts, RR: 20
Reply 8, posted (13 years 9 months 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 788 times:
(in an Indian accent)
Uh, you had better be watching your language, there are younger people who would not appreciate your use of the F-word. In fact they might use it against you so you had better be watching yourself, hmm?
The meaning of life is curiosity; we were put on this planet to explore opportunities.
Aloha 737-200 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (13 years 9 months 1 day 16 hours ago) and read 743 times:
Yep, I keep getting the blank e-mails too.
I'd like to let you all know, IF YOU SEND ME AN E-MAIL WITH NOTHING IN IT, I'M GOING TO BLOCK YOUR ADDRESS!!!
I've done that 5 times now. I get one of those, block the address, then I get another one from someone else, and then I block that address too. I don't need 50 blank e-mails using up all my free space in my inbox. Screw it, block 'em.