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Suffering From Guilt  
User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 46
Posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 837 times:

Hello, my name is Matt and I suffer from the guilt of
not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent
to me by people who actually believe that if you send
them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a
breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough
money to have it removed before her redneck parents
sell her to a traveling freak show.


Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to
give you, and everyone to whom you send e-mail,
$1000? How stupid are you?


Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and
make a wish, I'll get laid by every good looking model
in the magazine! What a bunch of bullshit.


Basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the
people out there who have nothing better to do than to
send me stupid chain mail forwards.


Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come
into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not
continuing a chain that was started by Peter in 5 AD
and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower. Fuck them.


If you're going to forward something, at least send
me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send
this to 10 of your closest friends" and this poor,
wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
receive a nickel from some omniscient being.


I don't fucking care.


Show a little intelligence and think about what
you're actually contributing to by sending out
these forwards.


Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.


The point being? If you get some chain letter that's
threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the
rest of your life, delete it.


If it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by
making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana
with no teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant
for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents
per letter he'll receive if you forward this e-mail.


Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise,
tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will
consume your genitals.



17 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineEGGD From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2001, 12443 posts, RR: 34
Reply 1, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 794 times:

I keep getting emails forwarded to me with nothing in them  Confused

User currently offlineBernard Shakey From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 560 posts, RR: 9
Reply 2, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 789 times:

Uh huhhh huhhh...you said Peter...that was cool uh huhhh...


Mindless drifter on the road, Carries such an easy load
User currently offlineEGGD From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2001, 12443 posts, RR: 34
Reply 3, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 783 times:

Damnit, now i get it. Anthrax doesn't show up on a white screen!

User currently offlineStaffan From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 781 times:

So Dan is getting E-Anthrax, don't sit too close to the screen and I'm sure you'll be ok. Big grin



User currently offlineOzarkD9S From United States of America, joined Oct 2001, 5239 posts, RR: 21
Reply 5, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 753 times:

i beg my friends not to send me that sh*t but they do anyway, as if forwarding a freakin e-mail or returning a pal-mail means you're a better friend because of it. what a crock!


The best IFE: A window seat and a good book.
User currently offlineStretch 8 From United States of America, joined May 1999, 2568 posts, RR: 16
Reply 6, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 751 times:

You are a funny bastard, Matt. I agree with you on the chain letter thing. As far as "guilty" feelings; for me, they only occur just after the last spurt of a wanking session.


Maggs swings, it's a drive deep to left! The Tigers are going to the World Series!!!
User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 46
Reply 7, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 747 times:

I'm sorry you feel that way Stretch 8!

In the moments immediately following a yank session for me, I actually feel pretty good and relaxed! And the best part of it is there is no guilt. No one to have to "hold", no one to push out the door.

Yanking off is the greatest source of fulfillment I have.


User currently offlineLehpron From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 7028 posts, RR: 21
Reply 8, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 737 times:

(in an Indian accent)

Uh, you had better be watching your language, there are younger people who would not appreciate your use of the F-word. In fact they might use it against you so you had better be watching yourself, hmm?  Big grin



The meaning of life is curiosity; we were put on this planet to explore opportunities.
User currently offlineStretch 8 From United States of America, joined May 1999, 2568 posts, RR: 16
Reply 9, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 732 times:

Matt, you are beginning to sound like Joona!


Maggs swings, it's a drive deep to left! The Tigers are going to the World Series!!!
User currently offlineJetService From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 4798 posts, RR: 11
Reply 10, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 16 hours ago) and read 705 times:

From chain-letters to punching the midget in 5 1/2 posts. That HAS to be a record in the digression department!!!


"Shaddap you!"
User currently offline174thfwff From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 16 hours ago) and read 699 times:

Hey Matt,
If you left out the f word, I think your post would have gotten more respect from me...but I am only a kid, what do I know. Right? Right.


-Peace In-
174thfwff


User currently offlineAloha 737-200 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 16 hours ago) and read 692 times:

Yep, I keep getting the blank e-mails too.

I'd like to let you all know, IF YOU SEND ME AN E-MAIL WITH NOTHING IN IT, I'M GOING TO BLOCK YOUR ADDRESS!!!

I've done that 5 times now. I get one of those, block the address, then I get another one from someone else, and then I block that address too. I don't need 50 blank e-mails using up all my free space in my inbox. Screw it, block 'em.

Aloha 737-200!!  Wink/being sarcastic


User currently offlineN400QX From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 662 times:

This thread is hilarious.... I gotta save this to my hard drive before its deleted.

No comment on the "joonabation" issue.  Laugh out loud


User currently offlineAlmbluzman From United States of America, joined Dec 1999, 182 posts, RR: 1
Reply 14, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 634 times:

awww...too bad, so sad -

can't just delete the stupid e-mail w/out whining to the rest of the world about it, now can we???

almbluzman


User currently offlineDelta777-XXX From United States of America, joined Jun 2000, 1017 posts, RR: 7
Reply 15, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day ago) and read 611 times:

haha - we should all add MattD to our address books and everytime we get a chain letter... we'll forward it to him!  Wink/being sarcastic

gosh... that would really suck!

Hank  Big thumbs up


User currently offlineLeftseat86 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (13 years 3 weeks 1 day ago) and read 604 times:

DO IT !!!!!!!!!!!! Big grin Big grin

Oh, and Wanking off is the greatest thing ever thought of...  Smile


User currently offlineIainhol From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 17, posted (13 years 3 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 603 times:

This proves that chain letters do work! Matt D neve sent one and look what happened to him!
Iain


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