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Funny Email About Anger Managment  
User currently offlineZBBYLW From Canada, joined Nov 2006, 1982 posts, RR: 6
Posted (7 years 6 months 1 week 1 day 15 hours ago) and read 1393 times:

Hey everyone... I just got this email, this is one of the funniest things I have read in awhile and thought I would share. Enjoy.

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know,take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd
forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying,
"Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn
Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear, "Get the right
f*****ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked
down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had
accidentally reversed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and
hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd
call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "asshole
calling" would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller
ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an
asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking
spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that
spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is," he said.

"Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.

"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

"Hello."

"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2. "Hello?" he said.

"Hello, asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now"

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the shit out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger Management really works...

[Edited 2007-01-20 04:51:36]


Keep the shinny side up!
11 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineCadet57 From United States of America, joined Jul 2005, 9085 posts, RR: 31
Reply 1, posted (7 years 6 months 1 week 1 day 15 hours ago) and read 1382 times:

 rotfl 

Hahaha thats great



Doors open, right hand side, next stop is Springfield.
User currently offlineTedTAce From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (7 years 6 months 1 week 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 1367 times:

That's wonderful!!! I'm going to send it to my 'new born' friend from highschool who is... an asshole

I just sent it to them and I feel SO much better.

[Edited 2007-01-20 05:45:55]

User currently offlineAdopim88 From United States of America, joined Nov 2006, 2007 posts, RR: 11
Reply 3, posted (7 years 6 months 1 week 1 day 14 hours ago) and read 1359 times:

I've gotten that email before in the past. It's still hilarious though. Big grin


Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
User currently offlineZBBYLW From Canada, joined Nov 2006, 1982 posts, RR: 6
Reply 4, posted (7 years 6 months 1 week 1 day 12 hours ago) and read 1341 times:

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 2):
I just sent it to them and I feel SO much better.

HAHA, that is what its there for  Wink



Keep the shinny side up!
User currently offlineWILCO737 From Greenland, joined Jun 2004, 8968 posts, RR: 76
Reply 5, posted (7 years 6 months 1 week 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 1329 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW
HEAD MODERATOR

Quoting ZBBYLW (Reply 4):

WOW, what a great email!!! I was reading it for the 1st time and I have a good laugh!!! Awesome! thanks!

WILCO737
 airplane 



It it's not Boeing, I am not going.
User currently onlineAeroWesty From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 20394 posts, RR: 62
Reply 6, posted (7 years 6 months 1 week 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 1313 times:

 rotfl  There sure are a few people around here who could use that.


International Homo of Mystery
User currently offlineBaroque From Australia, joined Apr 2006, 15380 posts, RR: 59
Reply 7, posted (7 years 6 months 1 week 1 day 3 hours ago) and read 1278 times:

Yes very funny.

It seems to be a variant on the urban myth in about the 60s when student activism was all the rage. It had students sending a message to a road gang that a group of students were coming to disrupt them dressed as police. Then they told the police that a group of students had dressed up as road workers and were disrupting traffic.

And then they stood back and viewed the "fun".

http://www.snopes.com/college/pranks/roadwork.asp
The reference only goes back to 1988, but I am sure I heard it about the same Parramatta Road prior to 1970.

I remember students in the 50s getting up to a number of pranks. Those in Newcastle UK pulled up the drain covers and had fishermen on each manhole, and the Leeds students soaped the tramlines on a hill sufficiently to stop the trams. In Cambridge mid 50s, an Austin 7 was placed overnight on the Senate House roof. The fire brigade had to dismantle it to get it down. Then there was the yellow top from a road crossing placed on top of a spire on King's chapel - on the lightning conductor. This was eventually "removed" with a shotgun.

With laws the way they are these days, student must be considerably constrained.


User currently offlineSaxdiva From United States of America, joined Jun 2004, 2382 posts, RR: 42
Reply 8, posted (7 years 6 months 1 week 11 hours ago) and read 1228 times:

I've seen that before, but I agree--it's funny.

Then again, I dream of buying myself a flamethrower for Christmas, so that might not be a ringing endorsement...


User currently offlineVaporlock From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (7 years 6 months 1 week 4 hours ago) and read 1201 times:

That is funny.....thanks for the laugh!!! bigthumbsup 

Phyllis  bouncy 


User currently offlineBaroque From Australia, joined Apr 2006, 15380 posts, RR: 59
Reply 10, posted (7 years 6 months 1 week 4 hours ago) and read 1198 times:

Quoting Saxdiva (Reply 8):
Then again, I dream of buying myself a flamethrower for Christmas, so that might not be a ringing endorsement...

Dare one ask? Just trying to work out how you would fit owning a flamethrower into that general setting of the double bluff.


User currently offlineBlueElephant From United Kingdom, joined Dec 2006, 1813 posts, RR: 6
Reply 11, posted (7 years 6 months 6 days 4 hours ago) and read 1155 times:

 rotfl 

Thanks for the Good Laugh...That was awesome.


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