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Ye Olde Eye Test  
User currently offlineMatt D From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9502 posts, RR: 47
Posted (12 years 9 months 2 weeks 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 881 times:

I swear I'm not making this up.


One of my roomates adamantly swears that the best way to tell if a woman is "safe" for, shall we say, an intimate encounter is the "eye test".

The way he explains it to me is that you put your finger in her "private" region, twirl it around a bit, so that whatever juices and residue she emits will be on your finger.

Then you gently insert the soiled finger in your eye. If there is a burning or stinging sensation, then best not put certain other body parts into her. On the other hand, if there is no burning/stinging sensation, then she is "clean".

He claims that it's better to have a "contaminated" eye that can be cured with some Visine drops then to get "contaminated" somwhere else, and the treatment involves certain prescription-only medication.

I tell him that that is complete and utter BS.

But he insists that this is what he does.

So I told him I would ask about it and see what kind of replies I get.

7 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineConfuscius From United States of America, joined Aug 2001, 3868 posts, RR: 1
Reply 1, posted (12 years 9 months 2 weeks 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 847 times:

At first, I thought what you meant by an "eye test" was looking at a woman's left hand for a wedding or engagement ring...never mind.

BTW, that would be my "eye test".
 Smile



Ain't I a stinker?
User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (12 years 9 months 2 weeks 4 days 20 hours ago) and read 836 times:

Who is your friend? Steve Garvey?

User currently offlineKaiTakFan From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 1588 posts, RR: 6
Reply 3, posted (12 years 9 months 2 weeks 4 days 20 hours ago) and read 827 times:

well lets see now ya ever thought of using ummmm whats that called... hold on a sec... ahhh yes a condom?? might make it easier then rubbing that crap in your eye. and if your worried the condom will break and she is dirty then "DONT DO IT". simple as that. no need for that eye test my friend!



User currently offlineSophieMaltese From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2064 posts, RR: 3
Reply 4, posted (12 years 9 months 2 weeks 4 days 18 hours ago) and read 800 times:

I used to date a doctor who insisted he'd know if he was ever with a girl who had HIV because vaginal dryness was an early sign of HIV infection. However, I ALSO knew a lady who was a planned parenthood counselor who educated young people on birth control and STDs. The verdict? Utter bullsh**!!!!

Now the thing about the eye makes me think of something a gay friend once told me. He got a very bad eye infection because somebody had shot one in his eye. I hope this can't happen from a woman or your friend will be in trouble.


User currently offlineTurbolet From Cape Verde, joined Nov 2007, 0 posts, RR: 1
Reply 5, posted (12 years 9 months 2 weeks 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 770 times:

Oh... umm... with my history of eye sensitivity and infections, I'd better not do any of the stuff.
-turbolet


User currently offlineC72 From United States of America, joined Oct 2006, 0 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (12 years 9 months 2 weeks 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 763 times:

Your friend hasn't gone blind yet?????

User currently offlineAWspicious From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (12 years 9 months 2 weeks 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 734 times:

Sort of gives new meaning to the phrase You'll go blind!
What is this guy - NUTZ?! Haven't he ever heard of litmus paper? Just dip a stip and read the colour chart.
Hmmmm.... wonder if that would really work, tho.


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