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Women: Engagement Ring Or Shameless Deception?  
User currently offlineLY744 From Canada, joined Feb 2001, 5536 posts, RR: 10
Posted (7 years 5 months 4 days 5 hours ago) and read 1852 times:

Good to see that Non-Av is still the same bustling hub of discussion as it was when I was last here (a dozen or so "what's your favourite", and the mandatory 4+ Israel/Middle East threads per page).  Wink But enough about that, and on to the topic at hand:

I was always under the impression that wearing a ring on the ring finger of the left hand indicated that a woman was engaged/married/comitted/whatever. However, recently I've seen/heard evidence to the contrary! So what's the deal? Is it only an engagement ring if it has a diamond on it?

Clearly I'm mostly interested in Canadian/U.S. ring etiquette, but all are welcome to contribute.

Discuss!


LY744.


Pacifism only works if EVERYBODY practices it
43 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineHeavyMx1 From United States of America, joined Jun 2003, 305 posts, RR: 1
Reply 1, posted (7 years 5 months 4 days 5 hours ago) and read 1842 times:

Well I just gave one to my girlfriend ( I guess fiance now) on sunday, so I hope the dimond means we're getting married.

Traditionally, yes a diamond on the left ring finger is a sign of engagement/marrage. However different kinds of rings and stones are now being used also, and to confuse things even more some girls just like to wear a ring on that finger, so these days it is pretty hard to tell. But to keep from getting your ass handed to you by Bubba, I would consider any girl with a diamond on here left ring finger as spoken for.



I am better than you because I live on an Island
User currently offlineLTU932 From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 13864 posts, RR: 50
Reply 2, posted (7 years 5 months 4 days 5 hours ago) and read 1833 times:

I know that you're talking about Canadian/US ring etiquette, but don't forget that in certain other countries, the ring goes to the right hand ring finger. That's the case at least in Germany, and other than that, it's pretty much the same as in the US, though I'm not sure if engagement rings in Germany must also have a diamond on them or not.

[Edited 2007-02-27 19:47:37]

User currently offlineLY744 From Canada, joined Feb 2001, 5536 posts, RR: 10
Reply 3, posted (7 years 5 months 4 days 4 hours ago) and read 1801 times:

Quoting HeavyMx1 (Reply 1):
Well I just gave one to my girlfriend ( I guess fiance now) on sunday

Congrats!  thumbsup 

Quoting HeavyMx1 (Reply 1):
and to confuse things even more some girls just like to wear a ring on that finger, so these days it is pretty hard to tell.

Ugh, things are bad, as I suspected.

Quoting LTU932 (Reply 2):
I know that you're talking about Canadian/US ring etiquette, but don't forget that in certain other countries, the ring goes to the right hand ring finger.

Yeah I hear ya, my parents wear their wedding rings on their right hands as well (from Europe).


I guess I'm sticking to the 'No Diamond = Not an Engagement Ring' policy from now on. Although it still annoys me, I mean if a single woman wants to wear 1 ring, and has 8 fingers to choose from, why choose the one where her engagement ring is supposed to go? They must really hate us.  Wink


LY744.



Pacifism only works if EVERYBODY practices it
User currently offlineTedTAce From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (7 years 5 months 4 days 4 hours ago) and read 1797 times:

Dude, if she's slurping on your goodies, does it matter what's on her hand?

User currently offlineKmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 7
Reply 5, posted (7 years 5 months 4 days 4 hours ago) and read 1789 times:

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 4):
Dude, if she's slurping on your goodies, does it matter what's on her hand?

Ah...nice to see romance isn't dead.



'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
User currently offlineLY744 From Canada, joined Feb 2001, 5536 posts, RR: 10
Reply 6, posted (7 years 5 months 4 days 4 hours ago) and read 1781 times:

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 4):
Dude, if she's slurping on your goodies, does it matter what's on her hand?

Thanks for the words of wisdom. You divorced yet?


LY744.



Pacifism only works if EVERYBODY practices it
User currently offlineGQfluffy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (7 years 5 months 4 days 4 hours ago) and read 1774 times:

Quoting HeavyMx1 (Reply 1):
so I hope the dimond means we're getting married.

Well...you did actually ask the question, right?


User currently offlineKunoichi From Denmark, joined Jan 2007, 796 posts, RR: 16
Reply 8, posted (7 years 5 months 4 days 3 hours ago) and read 1754 times:

How about asking  Wink

You can't really be sure unless you ask. Just like making sure she doesn't have a boyfriend or whatever... I used to wear a ring on my left hand too (with a rose quartz) and people regularly asked... I don't think anyone would find it strange or rude or anything.. but it'd be a shame to miss out on an opportunity because she wears a ring, that might turn out NOT to be a sign of any kind of commitment, no?  Wink



"Do you speak fluent Canadian?"
User currently onlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 39703 posts, RR: 75
Reply 9, posted (7 years 5 months 4 days 3 hours ago) and read 1737 times:

Quoting Kunoichi (Reply 8):
You can't really be sure unless you ask. Just like making sure she doesn't have a boyfriend or whatever... I used to wear a ring on my left hand too (with a rose quartz) and people regularly asked... I don't think anyone would find it strange or rude or anything.. but it'd be a shame to miss out on an opportunity because she wears a ring, that might turn out NOT to be a sign of any kind of commitment, no?

 checkmark 


I would have missed out on some of the greatest romantic experiences if I was scared away by some stupid ring.
I've given up trying to 'figure out' women by the time I was 8 years old. If I see a lady I like, I'll talk to her and what ever happens, happens.
BTW, there are plenty of loose married women too.  Wink


On a more serious note; before you waste your $$$ buying her diamonds, think about the bloodshed that went in to mining those diamonds to put on her finger.



http://gbgm-umc.org/Umcor/update/conflictdiamonds.stm



Bring back the Concorde
User currently offlineAA787823 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 10, posted (7 years 5 months 4 days 3 hours ago) and read 1720 times:

It could be a promise ring or something like that. Kind of depends. Since you are supposed to spend roughtly 3.5x your monthly pay on an engagement ring, a promise ring could do the trick till you can afford 3.5x your pay.
I also know some girls that wear a ring irregarless of their relationship status if they dont want to deal with guys asking them out and hitting on them......


User currently offlineZkpilot From New Zealand, joined Mar 2006, 4805 posts, RR: 9
Reply 11, posted (7 years 5 months 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 1703 times:

Quoting AA787823 (Reply 10):
Since you are supposed to spend roughtly 3.5x your monthly pay on an engagement ring,

Never really had to thing about that yet.... ouch! getting engaged is going to be quite expensive... hmmm if 3.5x is true then its going to be worth more than my car! (then again I am planning on getting a new one this year lol)



56 types. 38 countries. 24 airlines.
User currently offlineKunoichi From Denmark, joined Jan 2007, 796 posts, RR: 16
Reply 12, posted (7 years 5 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 1669 times:

Quoting AA787823 (Reply 10):
Since you are supposed to spend roughtly 3.5x your monthly pay on an engagement ring

Who made up that rule?  confused 

If the girl is a keeper, she won't care how much you spend on it... she won't care if it has a diamond either (a lot of engagement rings around here don't)  Smile



"Do you speak fluent Canadian?"
User currently offlineShyFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (7 years 5 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 1665 times:

Quoting Kunoichi (Reply 12):
Who made up that rule?

Probably De Beers.


User currently offlineAA787823 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (7 years 5 months 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 1651 times:

Quoting Kunoichi (Reply 12):
Who made up that rule?

If the girl is a keeper, she won't care how much you spend on it... she won't care if it has a diamond either (a lot of engagement rings around here don't)

A.) A woman!

B.) I guess women in other parts of the world are a lot different. In Northern California unless you make well over 100K a year, have a 500K house and drive a BMW, FORGET IT! You will not even get the time of day. Women in California are VERY materialistic for the most part.


User currently offlineKunoichi From Denmark, joined Jan 2007, 796 posts, RR: 16
Reply 15, posted (7 years 5 months 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 1648 times:

Quoting AA787823 (Reply 14):
A.) A woman!

Then, you socialize with the wrong women...  Wink My theory is that men THINK we want big rocks and diamonds and gold, while, in reality, it really is just the thought that counts...

Of course, we don't mind letting you believe that we want lots and lots of jewellery Big grin But we don't mind NOT getting it either...

Quoting AA787823 (Reply 14):
B.) I guess women in other parts of the world are a lot different. In Northern California unless you make well over 100K a year, have a 500K house and drive a BMW, FORGET IT! You will not even get the time of day. Women in California are VERY materialistic for the most part.

Once again, yeah... you socialize with the wrong women  eek ... I hope they're at least good looking enough to be worth it... why would you want to be with materialistic b*tches who only want you if you have enough dough..?



"Do you speak fluent Canadian?"
User currently offlineAA787823 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (7 years 5 months 3 days 21 hours ago) and read 1638 times:

Quoting Kunoichi (Reply 15):
why would you want to be with materialistic b*tches who only want you if you have enough dough..?

That pretty much all I have to choose from here in my neighborhood, not a cheap place to live, very high expectations. One of my old girlfriends was from a VERY wealthy family. She basically got anything/everything she wanted.


User currently offlineSW733 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 6302 posts, RR: 9
Reply 17, posted (7 years 5 months 3 days 20 hours ago) and read 1615 times:

Quoting Superfly (Reply 9):
On a more serious note; before you waste your $$$ buying her diamonds, think about the bloodshed that went in to mining those diamonds to put on her finger.

Yeah and think about the bloodshed that would happen if you DIDN'T buy her a diamond ring

I'm from Africa and I am saying that  Wink Women are brutal when it comes to jewelry! It's like crack


User currently onlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 39703 posts, RR: 75
Reply 18, posted (7 years 5 months 3 days 19 hours ago) and read 1600 times:

Kunoichi:
AMEN!
You are speaking the truth and it's cool to hear this from a female.

Quoting AA787823 (Reply 10):
Since you are supposed to spend roughtly 3.5x your monthly pay on an engagement ring, a promise ring could do the trick till you can afford 3.5x your pay.

...and as long as there are guys out there doing this, there will be women out there with un-realistic expectations and distorted ideas of what relationships are about.
If the has a problem with the co$t of the ring, then she isn't the one for you.

Quoting AA787823 (Reply 14):
In Northern California unless you make well over 100K a year, have a 500K house and drive a BMW, FORGET IT! You will not even get the time of day. Women in California are VERY materialistic for the most part.

Northern California?  confused 
It's not just a California thing and by the way, I found Northern California women to be less materialistic then Southern California women. Materialistic woman can come from any parts of the world as SW773 noted. You do find the more unrealistic ideals from woman in the USA, not just California.

Quoting AA787823 (Reply 16):
That pretty much all I have to choose from here in my neighborhood, not a cheap place to live,

Leave the neighborhood. There is a whole world out there for you to taste.

Quoting Kunoichi (Reply 15):
My theory is that men THINK we want big rocks and diamonds and gold, while, in reality, it really is just the thought that counts...

Preach on!  praise 

Quoting SW733 (Reply 17):
Yeah and think about the bloodshed that would happen if you DIDN'T buy her a diamond ring

I'm from Africa and I am saying that

...and let me guess, you work in the diamond business?  Wink



Let me tell you all something. The happiest couple I know that are truly inseparable didn't bother getting expensive jewelry. Yet I know of several women that are very materialistic and married men that bought them expensive jewelry, expensive weddings and put them in nice big houses.
Well one of them married a guy that sleeps around with other men.
The other couple, the guy beats the sh!t out of her and is emotionally abusive.
These women certainly got just what they wanted. An expensive wedding ring.



Bring back the Concorde
User currently offlineSW733 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 6302 posts, RR: 9
Reply 19, posted (7 years 5 months 3 days 19 hours ago) and read 1594 times:

Quoting Superfly (Reply 18):
...and let me guess, you work in the diamond business?

If I were I'd be living in a much bigger house with an ocean view!  Wink

And yes, I know it's materialism at it's best (worst?)...it was a joke.


User currently offlineCaptOveur From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (7 years 5 months 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1587 times:

Quoting Superfly (Reply 9):
On a more serious note; before you waste your $$$ buying her diamonds, think about the bloodshed that went in to mining those diamonds to put on her finger.

Does anyone really care? I know I don't. The good thing about blood diamonds is I don't think DeBeers controls the market on those, so they are probably cheaper. Too bad they are so hard to come by.


User currently offline102IAHexpress From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 1156 posts, RR: 3
Reply 21, posted (7 years 5 months 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1581 times:

I don’t trust the way the diamond industry polices themselves; thus I can’t be sure if I’m buying a conflict free diamond. I say screw the diamond cartels and save your hard earned cash and buy a cultured diamond instead.

Cultured diamonds for those who don’t know are a type of man-made diamond. While synthetic diamonds have been produced for decades, they have been small and limited to industrial uses. Cultured diamonds, on the other hand, can be up to 2 carats in weight and come in a variety of colors such as clear, yellow, orange, and pink, making them gem quality.


User currently onlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 39703 posts, RR: 75
Reply 22, posted (7 years 5 months 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1549 times:

Quoting CaptOveur (Reply 20):
Does anyone really care?

Apparently a lot of people do but not enough to bring this industry down to it's knees. If you want to throw away your money on a frikkin rock, go right ahead. Plenty of jewelers that would be more than happy to take your money and laugh there a$$ to the bank.

Quoting 102IAHexpress (Reply 21):
I say screw the diamond cartels and save your hard earned cash and buy a cultured diamond instead.

...or spend it on something more useful such as a Holley 4 barrel carburetor (in my case). Big grin
Seriously, I'd rather go on a nice vacation.



Don't listen to the commercials. You DON'T have a friend in the diamond business.



Bring back the Concorde
User currently offlineLY744 From Canada, joined Feb 2001, 5536 posts, RR: 10
Reply 23, posted (7 years 5 months 3 days 7 hours ago) and read 1522 times:

Quoting Kunoichi (Reply 8):
How about asking Wink

You can't really be sure unless you ask. Just like making sure she doesn't have a boyfriend or whatever... I used to wear a ring on my left hand too (with a rose quartz) and people regularly asked... I don't think anyone would find it strange or rude or anything.. but it'd be a shame to miss out on an opportunity because she wears a ring, that might turn out NOT to be a sign of any kind of commitment, no? Wink



Quoting Superfly (Reply 9):
I would have missed out on some of the greatest romantic experiences if I was scared away by some stupid ring.

Mind you this was more of a general question inspired by something I've been noticing lately, rest assured when the opportunity presents itself I WILL make sure to ask.  Wink

Quoting Superfly (Reply 22):
Don't listen to the commercials.

Listening to jewelery commercials on the radio makes me want to throw up. Or turn off the radio. Whichever.


LY744.



Pacifism only works if EVERYBODY practices it
User currently offlineJkw777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 24, posted (7 years 5 months 3 days 7 hours ago) and read 1516 times:

Quoting AA787823 (Reply 14):
B.) I guess women in other parts of the world are a lot different. In Northern California unless you make well over 100K a year, have a 500K house and drive a BMW, FORGET IT! You will not even get the time of day. Women in California are VERY materialistic for the most part.

This is true speak..... But the Southern Californian females are worse. Lol...

In my land girls who are engaged tend to have a massive rock on their left finger, generally, or as far as I've seen!  Smile

- Justin Big grin


25 Post contains images S12PPL : Amen Well, if things work out with the girl I'm dating...And I hope they do...Then Eventually I'm gonna have to shop for said ring. I don't know the
26 Post contains images KROC : Spare up the bloodshed diamond crap. Whether me, you, or anyone else buys or they don't buy a diamond, the same stuff is going to go on. Don't go rea
27 S12PPL : No crap. Don't buy a diamond, then. Save them for the rest of us.
28 Fumanchewd : Besides the Blood Diamond thing, I refuse to buy diamonds because its a propped up price. There are warehouses owned by Da Beers filled with diamonds
29 ScarletHarlot : This is crap. My engagement ring is an emerald. I don't like diamonds. They're boring. In North America, if she's wearing it on the left ring finger,
30 Post contains images Fumanchewd : You're cool Scarlet. Let me know if you ever find that Mr. Harlot isn't around anymore.
31 Post contains images ScarletHarlot : Thanks, I'm flattered, but I really hope that that never becomes the case. I'm awfully fond of him.
32 Post contains images TedTAce : not even funny anymore...
33 GQfluffy : "Diamonds...that outta shut her up..."
34 Post contains images LY744 : As if I can tell the difference. Although that would make a lot of sense, it is apparently not the case these days. LY744.
35 Post contains images Superfly : WTF was that all about? Too cheap? hippie lettuce? skanks? Care to explain?
36 KROC : What, did I stutututututututter?
37 Superfly : Care to explain? No one is on trial here. If spending lots of money on a diamond ring makes you feel good about your relationship, that's totally fin
38 Pyrex : Emeralds are bright green, diamonds are usually white (sometimes pale yellow or pink).
39 AerorobNZ : I agree with ScarletHarlot, Diamonds are boring, and more than a little trite and cliched. Sapphires, Emeralds and Opals are far more beautiful.
40 KROC : I didn't have to drop "thousands" on a diamond to feel good about my relationship. If it takes "thousands" then one should check the girl. As for ska
41 BigOrange : Apparently some women wear a ring on their engagement finger even if they arer not engaged. When they go out to bars/clubs they wear it like an engage
42 ScarletHarlot : Oh yes! I also have an opal ring and pendant from Mr. Harlot. I love sapphires too, and rubies, though I don't have any of either.
43 Post contains images Superfly : Same here!
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