Fumanchewd From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Posted (8 years 1 week 2 hours ago) and read 4784 times:
I had a date a few weeks ago with a beautiful girl who has recently purchased a puppy. Its a large breed and pretty big for its age-its huuuge puppy paws are frightening. So after an evening of dinner, sweaty groping, flailing body parts, and curious looks by the watching dog I passed out in her bed- extremely tired and drunk.
I woke up the next morning spooning this girl with her in front of me at around 0800 hot as hell and sweaty. It felt as though a heavy blanket was clinging to my back. I turned a little bit and looked behind me only to look into the beautiful brown eyes of her puppy. Her eyes were wide open looking into mine as I turned and I swear she was sneering. Her front leg was thrown over my shoulder and she was spooning me from behind. I was essentially the meat in a spooning sandwich and the worst part is I don't remember how far I let the dog go. I feel so cheap and degraded. Everytime time I think about that night I can't help recalling those huge paws groping me.
I seriously do not like dating women who allow dogs in their bed.
AndesSMF From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (8 years 1 week 2 hours ago) and read 4754 times:
Doesn't beat my story.
Girlfriend in the apartment, early 1994. We go in the bedroom, leaving my cat behind. So the cat starts meowing (very annoying) and I let her in so we can continue. So said cat parks herself in a way that anything 'hanging' is within easy reach...
Being a cautious man, I removed myself from possible danger ASAP, as I saw her intently staring and certain moving parts, and I was not letting her pounce on anything.
Is there a situation where you don't have a sex story? Should we perhaps make sure you're not Westy's straight alter-ego?
I raised a wolf cub many years ago, and as wolves tend to do, he rapidly grew to about 3.5ft at the shoulder. Though he was never allowed on the bed, he'd still try, except as he got older and stronger, his attempts to leap onto the bed became leaps over the bed. We decided it was time to lock him out of the bedroom when one of his leaps coincided with our own afternoon romp. Having 110 lbs of fur and claws land on my back added a whole new dimension to our play!
"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
That g/f was the one who helped me become a 'better' man, so if it wasn't for her, I would have never married my wife. She is a woman that gave any man only one chance for a good impression, and I passed the test.
"We go in the bedroom, leaving my cat pussy behind."
Quoting Searpqx (Reply 8): Is there a situation where you don't have a sex story?
At least he's trying to keep up.
I think I've said before, my hunk of fluff likes to sit on the edge of the bed while I'm having sex, gets quite cross if we try to shoo him away, and digs his paws under the door if I toss him out of the room and shut the door behind him.
AsstChiefMark From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 15, posted (8 years 1 week 2 hours ago) and read 4657 times:
When my gf and I got intimate, my first starling would get upset, start calling out, and finally take to flight. He'd always land on my back and let loose with a wad of runny bird shit. Does that count?
Fumanchewd From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (8 years 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 4511 times:
Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 15): When my gf and I got intimate, my first starling would get upset, start calling out, and finally take to flight. He'd always land on my back and let loose with a wad of runny bird shit. Does that count?
Sure, why not? We're all pretty open minded and some people are into scat.