Canadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 4 days 6 hours ago) and read 1324 times:
I was having dinner with friends the other night, and we got to talking about this very topic. And now, I would like to ask all of you this question. Would you, or have you, honestly, respected the other person with whom you had sex with after the first date/meeting?
Could you look upon this person in a serious light, meaning they would be someone you would want to get to know better and pursue a relationship.
Of course, this works both ways. Have you had sex on the first date, and felt the other person, someehow did not "respect" you or cast you as a candidate for a potential relationship partner?
Banco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 57 Reply 1, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 4 days 6 hours ago) and read 1219 times:
If one is prepared to have sex with someone on a first date (because presumably you would be for this topic to arise) how can you then question whether you still respect the other person?
What's sauce for the goose etc.
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
Canadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 2, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 4 days 6 hours ago) and read 1210 times:
Aaaah, but you see, in many cases (and this has happened to me) I really like the person very much, and initially had no intentions of sex, but, chemistry got in the way, and it happened. So not everyone ventures out on a first date with the thought of sexual relations.
Banco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 57 Reply 4, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 4 days 6 hours ago) and read 1201 times:
But, Canadian Boy, why would it not be the same for the other person? Unless it's rape, then presumably both parties have agreed to it. So how can this question arise?
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
Canadi>nBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 5, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 4 days 5 hours ago) and read 1189 times:
Banco, I think you're missing the point. Let me try to clarify this. You like a person very much. They like you. Either of you asks the other person out on a first date. You go out, have dinner, etc. Part of you (and perhaps the other person) wishes to "hold back", but,
humans being humans, and sexual chemistry being just that, you end up having sex with them. Afterwards, you may feel upset by the fact you did this, out of fear the other person will somehow not respect you or view you as a person who associates sex with making love.
Or, you somehow have doubts raised in your own mind about the 'seriousness" of that person. In short, do you view them as being "easy" and do not follow up with a second date? Do you feel by having sex on the first date, you somehow, pardon the pun "blew it" with that person? Let's face it, sex does have a way of getting in the way of "getting to know someone" the
"old-fashioned way", most of the time.
Superfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 36437 posts, RR: 86 Reply 6, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 4 days 5 hours ago) and read 1186 times:
Sex on the first date is OK today. not so 100 years ago
This is the information age, time is money and people don't have time to waste following and old set of false rules. I want to know what the lady is capable of so I wont be dissappointed later on.
Ladies, work it go that first night and maybe I'll call back!
757man From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2001, 370 posts, RR: 1 Reply 7, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 4 days 4 hours ago) and read 1172 times:
OK - Two people, first date. They end up really enjoying each other's company and end up in bed. Sometimes this can lead onto more romance and even marriage, and other times you'll never see the person again. Fact of life.
I slept with a girl on the first date a while back, and it didn't make me think she was an 'easy lay'. We met each other at 8pm and talked all the way through to 3am. I won't detail the rest of what happened
I went out with this same girl for almost one year before we split. Even now, she is one of the people I respect the most, and we are still good friends.
A couple I know, happily married for several years, ended up in bed on their first date.
Turbolet From Cape Verde, joined Nov 2007, 0 posts, RR: 2 Reply 10, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 1143 times:
Well in my opinion it depends on the person a lot. Not that I would mind sleeping with a girl on the first date but I don't think that's how a relationship is kept going. Sex has two aspects: one is as a stand-alone thing just for fun, two is as a part of a relationship. In the case of sex on the first date, it's number one. But not every kind of fun lasts forever...
-turbolet
Greg From United Kingdom, joined May 2005, 0 posts, RR: 1 Reply 11, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 4 days ago) and read 1115 times:
I have a lot of first dates, so it's cool with me. I respect anybody that spends the whole evening with me and then sleeps with me. Actually, my system of self-esteem is based on my ability to have lure people into bed. I am, of course, kidding.
It happens and it's perfectly OK.
SophieMaltese From United States of America, joined Feb 2001, 2064 posts, RR: 4 Reply 15, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 3 days 20 hours ago) and read 1065 times:
I would respect the person, but sex means something to me. You just have to be careful because it doesn't mean anything to a lot of people.
DC10Tony From United States of America, joined May 2001, 1012 posts, RR: 0 Reply 16, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 3 days 20 hours ago) and read 1055 times:
If my date wanted to have sex after the first date, I'd say yes, but, I would think that she's got some other motive for wanting me in that way in the first place.
IMissPiedmont From United States of America, joined May 2001, 6049 posts, RR: 50 Reply 17, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 3 days 19 hours ago) and read 1053 times:
I've had sex on a first date with 2 women. I still respect and like them both. At my age though, I wouldn't even think of it. If she's worth my time, she'll understand. If not, it's her loss.
I think a test for people to live in the southwest US should be no A/C in the car for a summer.
IMissPiedmont From United States of America, joined May 2001, 6049 posts, RR: 50 Reply 19, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1035 times:
LOL 174thfwf. In other words nothing has changed.
I think a test for people to live in the southwest US should be no A/C in the car for a summer.
An-225 From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 3950 posts, RR: 51 Reply 20, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 1015 times:
I had sex on the first date and had a nice relationship. We're just friends now - she's with some other guy, and unfortunately pregnant.
We have a lot of respect for one another and don't regret what we did - it was out of love. ON the other hand, I had "fun" with another girl, and I really have no respect for her, and there isn't much relationship or friendship going on - just a flick.
Having sex is ok - especially on the first date!
Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.
Superfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 36437 posts, RR: 86 Reply 21, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 999 times:
SophieMaltese: sex means something to me
Me to! Therfore, she must do her best!
174thfwff: Well at my age *cough* people are trying to be cool and are having sex in 9th and 10th grade after 5 minutes after meeting eachother at a party...
BCal DC10 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 712 posts, RR: 6 Reply 22, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 987 times:
if both parties want to have sex, and understand the implications then why not. The respect should be there...
What is the point of torturing yourselves and waiting when all you want to do is rip each others clothes off and shag like bunnies.
I had sex with my partner on the first date... we've been together over a year, and live together.
Lehpron From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 7028 posts, RR: 25 Reply 23, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 3 days 13 hours ago) and read 988 times:
I wouldn't even kiss the person on the first date, sex should be the defining moment that we would be "an item" so to speak. Sex on the first date seems rather stupid, unless that's the reason for the date -- I wouldn't respect them. If they are willing to let their guard down after a few hours then they'll eventually get abused, I don't want to be part of that.
Like SophieMaltese, sex will mean a LOT to me when it happens, I will be letting someone touch my soul, my innerself, my world; if they just disappear afterwords, even if we both wanted to, I'd consider it a rape. I'm extraordinarily sensitive, if my friends can crush me then if someone just wanted sex, I'd be suspicous to the point where we shouldn't see each other. Realistically, I'd ask her what's up and why.
The meaning of life is curiosity; we were put on this planet to explore opportunities.
AWspicious From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 25, posted (10 years 4 months 2 weeks 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 969 times:
This topic has so many variables. Seems to me most (if not all) of you have valid points.
I liked what Sophie said, though (and I'm not being biased cuz i think she's hot ) Sex means a lot to me, also. I put my all into it (no pun inten... oh hell).
I've experienced both situations - First date and the long thereafter. Things worked well in both cases. As well, things didn't work in both cases. Some girls are still in my phone book and some are not, but it didn't depend on whether we had sex on the first or twenty-first date. It all depended on how well we got along. That all important compatibility.
It really depends on the individuals involved. Sometimes you don't need to wait to be sure; Sometimes, it's best if you did.
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must have been doing somthing right 
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) Sex means a lot to me, also. I put my all into it (no pun inten... oh hell).
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