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No Wonder Men Are Happier.....  
User currently offlineEmirates773ER From Pakistan, joined Jun 2005, 1448 posts, RR: 9
Posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 12 hours ago) and read 1737 times:

What do you expect from such simple creatures?


Your last name stays put.


The garage is all yours.


Wedding plans take care of themselves.


Chocolate is just another snack.


You can be President.


You can never be pregnant.


You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.


Car mechanics tell you the truth.


The world is your urinal.


You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.


You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.


Same work, more pay.


Wrinkles add character.


Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental- $100.


People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.


The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.


New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.


One mood all the time.


Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.


You know stuff about tanks.


A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.


You can open all your own jars.


You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.


If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.


Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.


Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.


You almost never have strap problems in public.


You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.


Everything on your face stays its original color.


The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.


You only have to shave your face and neck.


You can play with toys all your life.


Your belly usually hides your big hips.


One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.


You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.


You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.


You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..


You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.


Suddenly I feel a lot happier....


The Truth is Out There ---- Face It!!!!!
24 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlinePyrex From Portugal, joined Aug 2005, 3906 posts, RR: 28
Reply 1, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 12 hours ago) and read 1708 times:

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Your last name stays put.

Actually a woman's can (and, IMO, should) stay as well.

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can be President.

Only if you're white and Christian  stirthepot 

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

They might be less propense to lie to you, but still...

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):

The world is your urinal.

 checkmark   bigthumbsup 

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

No, you just turn it in one direction and do it by trial-and-error Big grin

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

Why carry so much stuff? Since when is a suitcase not enough?

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):

You can open all your own jars.

Unless they are child-proof jars, in which case you've got to ask your kids for help.  Smile



Read this very carefully, I shall write this only once!
User currently offlineMCOflyer From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 8653 posts, RR: 15
Reply 2, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 1642 times:

We get the place to ourselves.

Hunter



Never be afraid to stand up for who you are.
User currently offlineCO7e7 From United States of America, joined Dec 2004, 2848 posts, RR: 2
Reply 3, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 1619 times:

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You know stuff about tanks.

Only if you're ANCflyer!  biggrin 

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

soooo true!

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Suddenly I feel a lot happier....

Same here.. thanks for posting.  bigthumbsup 


User currently offlineSeb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11463 posts, RR: 15
Reply 4, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 1594 times:

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Wedding plans take care of themselves.

HA!! I remember my brother's wedding. Everyone was getting calls every day from him AND from her about EVERYTHING!

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can be President.

What law says that?

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

But should you? It is a privilege not a right

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Car mechanics tell you the truth.

Not always. I had the tie rods on my PT replaced and they said it was fixed. That is why my PT is in the shop now for the same noise!

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You would think....

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

Unless you are McDreamy....

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

I have a pair of Pumas and two pair of Adidas that would disagree

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
One mood all the time.

I have yet to see that one

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

Since when?

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

I just bought a new bag for my Salt Lake trip and I know that will not be the only one!

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

For those who don't care about comfort

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

Said to the man that has 63 pair

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Everything on your face stays its original color.

Grey is a good color for a beard or mustache?

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

That is why so many teens want the Donald Trump look.....

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You only have to shave your face and neck.

And chest, and back, and.... well, you get the idea

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

Black is the new black except for brown, yellow, blue, red, purple, white.....

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

Again, a privilege not a right.....

GO CANUCKS!!



Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineGQfluffy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 1587 times:

Quoting Seb146 (Reply 4):
Not always. I had the tie rods on my PT replaced and they said it was fixed. That is why my PT is in the shop now for the same noise!

It's not our fault you were stupid and bought a PT Cruiser...


User currently offlineCO7e7 From United States of America, joined Dec 2004, 2848 posts, RR: 2
Reply 6, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 1567 times:

Quoting GQfluffy (Reply 5):
It's not our fault you were stupid and bought a PT Cruiser...

 rotfl   rotfl 

That's funny!


User currently offlineSeb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11463 posts, RR: 15
Reply 7, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 1547 times:

Quoting GQfluffy (Reply 5):
It's not our fault you were stupid and bought a PT Cruiser...

It was that, a Sentra, or a Neon. Besides, I have never had any problems with any Chrysler product. The PT has run well and I look good in it. Internal combustion; the ultimate accessory! It is not my fault the mechanics could not hear the rattling my passengers and I were hearing!

Truth be told, I would like an XB, VW Golf, or a hard top Jeep.

GO CANUCKS!!



Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineKmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 7
Reply 8, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 1535 times:

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

As a woman who has to look at these legs, I disagree!



'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
User currently offlineShyFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 1534 times:

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

But new combat boots do though. For me at least.

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

Oops, I have four.  Embarrassment  Big grin


User currently offlineDoona From Sweden, joined Feb 2005, 3764 posts, RR: 13
Reply 10, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 1534 times:

Quoting Seb146 (Reply 4):

I have a pair of Pumas and two pair of Adidas that would disagree

Sheesh, who get's blisters from sneakers? Wear some socks, bubba.  duck 

Cheers
Mats



Sure, we're concerned for our lives. Just not as concerned as saving 9 bucks on a roundtrip to Ft. Myers.
User currently offlineEmirates773ER From Pakistan, joined Jun 2005, 1448 posts, RR: 9
Reply 11, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 1501 times:

Quoting Seb146 (Reply 4):
Seb146

Tak a chill pill and stop being so uptight!



The Truth is Out There ---- Face It!!!!!
User currently offlineSeb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11463 posts, RR: 15
Reply 12, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 1477 times:

Quoting Doona (Reply 10):
Sheesh, who get's blisters from sneakers? Wear some socks, bubba.

LOL If we can't laugh at ourselves, what is the point? I know Bugs Bunny said it, but someone on this board uses a signature that says something like: Never take life seriously. We don't get out of it alive!

GO CANUCKS!!



Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlineAsuflyer05 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 2371 posts, RR: 3
Reply 13, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 1464 times:

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

I would argue there are some guys who should not walk around a water park in a white-tee or sans white-tee.


User currently offlineWestJetYQQ From Canada, joined Jan 2007, 2987 posts, RR: 5
Reply 14, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 1455 times:

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can be President.
You know stuff about tanks.

 rotfl 

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Women can't do this?  Wink

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

I disagree with that one. I never use a restroom at a gas station.

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

I tried..... and failed..... ouch.

Cheers
Carson



Will You Try to Change Things? Use the Power that you have, the Power of a Million new Ideas.
User currently offlineKmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 7
Reply 15, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 1428 times:

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Chocolate is just another snack.

Chocolate is nature's most perfect food.....next to Lasagne and Tiramisu.

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can be President.

It ain't far off, boys.....

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can never be pregnant.

Not at my age!!!

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Car mechanics tell you the truth.

Car mechanics have no choice BUT to tell me the truth.

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Wrinkles add character.

And I have a bridge to sell you!!

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

It is at MY house...

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

Who needs more than that?

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can open all your own jars.

Always have, always will.

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

Whatever works....


And I'm considered a 'girly' girl.....



'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
User currently offlineDougloid From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1398 times:

Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 15):
Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Chocolate is just another snack.

Chocolate is nature's most perfect food.....next to Lasagne and Tiramisu.

Blorp.

Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 15):
Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can be President.

It ain't far off, boys.....

Who cares? A non issue.

Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 15):
Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Car mechanics tell you the truth.

Car mechanics have no choice BUT to tell me the truth.

If you ARE a competent mechanic you need never cross this bridge because you will know the truth.


User currently offlineACDC8 From Canada, joined Mar 2005, 7642 posts, RR: 36
Reply 17, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1394 times:

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):

But there is one thing that can turn all this bliss, that can turn being a man into a nightmare .........

Male Pattern Baldness

be afraid, be very afraid .....  cry 


Other than that, that list is pretty gosh darn accurate.



A Grumpy German Is A Sauerkraut
User currently offlineSabena332 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1383 times:

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Nope, one of the boxer shorts I wear cost thrice as much.  Wink

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

I agree. I even only need an onboard trolley for five days.  Silly

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

No, some of my phone conversations last up to two hours! Big grin

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You only have to shave your face and neck.

Not me.

Patrick


User currently offlineMCOflyer From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 8653 posts, RR: 15
Reply 19, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1358 times:

Quoting ShyFlyer (Reply 9):
Oops, I have four.

I have 5.

Hunter



Never be afraid to stand up for who you are.
User currently offlineSandroZRH From Switzerland, joined Feb 2007, 3424 posts, RR: 50
Reply 20, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1342 times:

 rotfl  Most points are very true, but i disagree on one or the other.

Quoting CO7e7 (Reply 3):
Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You know stuff about tanks.

Only if you're ANCflyer!

Ancieboy isn't the only tanker on here  bigthumbsup 


User currently onlineLH526 From Germany, joined Aug 2000, 2347 posts, RR: 14
Reply 21, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 1336 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW
FORUM MODERATOR

Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can be President.

? A woman can't be president?



Trittst im Morgenrot daher, seh ich dich im Strahlenmeer ...
User currently offlineTZ757300 From United States of America, joined Aug 2005, 2867 posts, RR: 6
Reply 22, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 1326 times:

Quoting LH526 (Reply 21):

? A woman can't be president?

Umm...they can. He was poking fun at the low likelihood of a woman president or that we have never had one



LETS GO MOUNTAINEERS!
User currently onlineWildcatYXU From Canada, joined May 2006, 2594 posts, RR: 5
Reply 23, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 1209 times:

Quoting WestJetYQQ (Reply 14):
Quoting Emirates773ER (Thread starter):
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Women can't do this? Wink

As a matter of fact, they can. At least in Ontario. Heck, they could even walk sans shirt down Bay Street. Sadly, I didn't see any actually doing it.


User currently offlineABQ747 From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 847 posts, RR: 1
Reply 24, posted (7 years 1 month 1 week 1 day ago) and read 1195 times:

Quoting Seb146 (Reply 4):
Not always. I had the tie rods on my PT replaced and they said it was fixed. That is why my PT is in the shop now for the same noise!



Quoting GQfluffy (Reply 5):
It's not our fault you were stupid and bought a PT Cruiser...

That's why I call it a PT LOSER!!!  devil 



The reason New Mexico is so windy is because Texas sucks and Arizona blows.
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