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How The HR In My Company Deals With Foul Mouth Wor  
User currently offlineEmirates773ER From Pakistan, joined Jun 2005, 1449 posts, RR: 9
Posted (7 years 3 months 1 week 6 hours ago) and read 1894 times:

Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some
individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during
the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to
complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this
type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have
been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources


The Truth is Out There ---- Face It!!!!!
11 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineSkyTeam777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (7 years 3 months 1 week 6 hours ago) and read 1879 times:

That is f___ing rediculous and me thinks you need to get the f outta that place.

User currently offlineEmirates773ER From Pakistan, joined Jun 2005, 1449 posts, RR: 9
Reply 2, posted (7 years 3 months 1 week 6 hours ago) and read 1861 times:

Quoting SkyTeam777 (Reply 1):
That is f___ing rediculous and me thinks you need to get the f outta that place.

Not to mention that it was meant to be a HR joke.  Big grin  Wink



The Truth is Out There ---- Face It!!!!!
User currently offlineSkyTeam777 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (7 years 3 months 1 week 6 hours ago) and read 1848 times:

Quoting Emirates773ER (Reply 2):
Not to mention that it was meant to be a HR joke.

You should come see where I work. You'd, amongst others, would laugh your asses off when you see some of the $#!+ our management posts sometimes.


User currently offlineCfalk From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (7 years 3 months 1 week 6 hours ago) and read 1831 times:

Quoting Emirates773ER (Reply 2):
Not to mention that it was meant to be a HR joke.

HR usually IS a joke, so it's redundant.


User currently offlineAsstChiefMark From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (7 years 3 months 1 week 6 hours ago) and read 1825 times:

I like substituting words that have obscenities "built in."

Sofa King = so fucking
shiitake = shit
Shiite = shit
go damned = god damned

and so on. Drives the bosses sofa king nuts.


User currently offlineCfalk From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (7 years 3 months 1 week 6 hours ago) and read 1821 times:

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 5):
Shiite = shit

Ooooo... you'll get a fatwa for that one  Wink


User currently offlineMCOflyer From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 8675 posts, RR: 15
Reply 7, posted (7 years 3 months 1 week 5 hours ago) and read 1792 times:

Yesterday my boss told me 4x to stop cussing. I laughed. I'm quitting there in 1x week. Just put in my 2x weeks anyways.

Hunter



Never be afraid to stand up for who you are.
User currently offlineLTBEWR From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 13113 posts, RR: 12
Reply 8, posted (7 years 3 months 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 1707 times:

On a more serious note, there are way too many people using swear words at the work place, often offending other employees and defenitely not good in front of clients or visitors. Some of the subsitutes referenced in the inital post are good ways of expressing what needs to be said without the problems of swearing. With that out of the way, I must admit that sometimes, when the situation is not too PC, the use of foul words is defentiely a badly needed release of personal tension. Saying sugar or shoot or fudge doesn't have the same cartharic affect as s-it or f-ck

User currently offlineAsuflyer05 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 2372 posts, RR: 3
Reply 9, posted (7 years 3 months 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 1687 times:

We had this software in our corporate email at the dealership I used to work at. it would go through emails and delete certain works. Now car guys are all trash mouths. As Lewis Black would say, the f-word is a comma.

So someone would send out a memo, and I would would respond with **** that bull**** except I would put letters were there are stars. And my recipient would get this email with all of these missing words. So I would have to go back and rewrite it with more P.C. language.


User currently offlineBill142 From Australia, joined Aug 2004, 8451 posts, RR: 8
Reply 10, posted (7 years 3 months 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 1666 times:

Quoting Asuflyer05 (Reply 9):
We had this software in our corporate email at the dealership I used to work at. it would go through emails and delete certain works. Now car guys are all trash mouths. As Lewis Black would say, the f-word is a comma.

A friend and I got around this by altering the word. We're frequently calling each other t-nuc's


User currently offlineOly720man From United Kingdom, joined May 2004, 6725 posts, RR: 11
Reply 11, posted (7 years 3 months 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 1620 times:

My wife said that when she was at school one of the words they picked up from geography was "schist", a type of rock, and this went onto common use "oh schist". Still got told to stop swearing though when people didn't believe it was a real word.


wheat and dairy can screw up your brain
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