Doona From Sweden, joined Feb 2005, 3750 posts, RR: 13 Reply 8, posted (6 years 3 months 3 weeks 11 hours ago) and read 14748 times:
Just thought of a couple of good ones. Can't remember where I heard it, but here it goes.
A priest taking confessionals needs to take a bathroom break, and asks the janitor, Bob, to sit in for a minute. Bob does as the priest asks, and sits down in the confessional booth. Soon, a man comes in. He tells Bob that he has cheated on his wife, and got a blow job from a co-worker on the previous day. He then asks what his penance should be. Bob doesn't know, and sticks his head out of the booth to look for someone to ask. Next to the booth an altar boy is sitting and reading the bible. Bob motions to the boy, to come over.
"Hey, kid, what do you get for a blow job?
The boy replies: "Ice cream and a movie."
I believe I heard this one on this very forum: How come Scotsmen wear kilts?
Because the sheep wake up at the sound of a zipper.
Sure, we're concerned for our lives. Just not as concerned as saving 9 bucks on a roundtrip to Ft. Myers.
A woman had twins but she decided to give up both for adoption. One boy went to Egypt and the other to Spain. One day, years later, she got a letter from her son in Spain. He said his name is Juan and he had done extensive research and found her and his brother Amahl. Letters flew between the two and she went to Spain to visit her son. When she returned home, her friends asked her if she was going to Egypt to visit her other son. She said no because:
Carmenlu15 From Guatemala, joined Dec 2004, 4747 posts, RR: 33 Reply 20, posted (6 years 3 months 3 weeks 8 hours ago) and read 14539 times:
Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend. "It sounds as if you had a great time in Texas," the friend observed. "But didn't you tell me you were planning to visit Colorado?"
"Well," the husband said, "we changed our plans because, uh..."
His wife cut in, "Oh, tell the truth, Fred!" He fell silent and she continued, "You know, it's just ridiculous. Fred simply *will not* ask for directions."
Quoting KaiGywer (Thread starter): -Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
-Because those men already have boyfriends.
Quoting KaiGywer (Thread starter): -What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
-A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
That's funny beyond belief...
Being a pioneer in any field is not by itself a guarantee of continued success - Pan Am, anyone?