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Does Your Child Need Your Last Name?  
User currently offlineTsaord From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 2050 times:

The question is directed to the men. If you were not married and found out your girlfriend was pregnant and she didn't want the child to have your last name would that cause trouble or it is not that important?

I ask after I was reading about Tom Brady. His son has his middle names in reverse order but the boy does not have Brady's last name. That was the first I heard of the child not carrying the fathers name unless the father was not in the child's life.

23 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineBigOrange From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 2384 posts, RR: 3
Reply 1, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 1974 times:

My neice doesn't have her father's last name, thank god!

User currently offlineAjd1992 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 1949 times:

I'd be a bit annoyed, considering without a man, the child wouldn't exist.

Plus the fact that the bride gets the grooms name anyway makes enough sense.


User currently offlineEWRCabincrew From United States of America, joined May 2006, 5527 posts, RR: 56
Reply 3, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 1947 times:

Quoting Ajd1992 (Reply 2):
Plus the fact that the bride gets the grooms name anyway makes enough sense.

We flipped a coin. I lost. Spent the first 40 years of my life with a name that no one can spell or pronounce and now I can spend the rest of it with another name no one can spell or pronounce.

As for the child getting the last name, it would make no difference to me. As long as your child is healthy, does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?



You can't cure stupid
User currently offlineDoona From Sweden, joined Feb 2005, 3772 posts, RR: 13
Reply 4, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 1940 times:

Quoting Tsaord (Thread starter):
The question is directed to the men. If you were not married and found out your girlfriend was pregnant and she didn't want the child to have your last name would that cause trouble or it is not that important?

It's important to me and if my partner would not mind, I'd like for my last name to continue on. I'm the only male Doona in all of Sweden, and it would be kinda cool to think that the name would be carried on.

Here's hoping I'll get myself a son...

Cheers
Mats



Sure, we're concerned for our lives. Just not as concerned as saving 9 bucks on a roundtrip to Ft. Myers.
User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 1926 times:

GIMMIE BACAK MY SON!

Signed, Mel Gibson


User currently offlineVC10BOAC From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 407 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 15 hours ago) and read 1861 times:

My son has a double hyphenated last name. Mine first then hers. His mom and I were friends in high school, lost each other for 15 yrs, dated after that, never got married. I have no problem with his last name, although my father does. (My son is only 5 so when he gets older I will convince him to reverse the order!)

User currently offlineLTU932 From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 13864 posts, RR: 50
Reply 7, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 15 hours ago) and read 1856 times:

If I ever want children, I prefer if they take their mother's name. Nobody knows how to pronounce and/or write my name correctly, even when I dictate the name to someone. So, for simplicity's sake and for personal reasons, I want my children to have the mother's name.

In Latin America, it's impossible for something like that to happen, because by law, the child automatically acquires as first last name the name of the father, and as a second last name, the name of the mother. They haven't liberalised naming conventions the way it has been done in the US or in Europe. Hell, in Europe men could theoretically take the last name of their wifes when getting married. I wouldn't mind doing that myself.  Wink


User currently offlineN1120A From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 26815 posts, RR: 75
Reply 8, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 15 hours ago) and read 1845 times:

Quoting Ajd1992 (Reply 2):


Plus the fact that the bride gets the grooms name anyway makes enough sense.

That isn't always the case. Some women choose to keep their maiden name. In fact; in some places, including Iran, the tradition is for women to keep their maiden name. Also, one of my close friend's and his wife chose to combine their last names in a hyphenated form. Hers first, then his.

Quoting Ajd1992 (Reply 2):
I'd be a bit annoyed, considering without a man, the child wouldn't exist.

And? Without a woman, the child wouldn't exist either.



Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
User currently offlineLAXspotter From India, joined Jan 2007, 3650 posts, RR: 5
Reply 9, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 1816 times:

Quoting N1120A (Reply 8):
Some women choose to keep their maiden name

my mom did, but when we moved to the US, she chose to use my dad's name for legal reasons.



"Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel" Samuel Johnson
User currently offlineAirTran737 From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 3708 posts, RR: 12
Reply 10, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 1801 times:
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Quoting Tsaord (Thread starter):
The question is directed to the men. If you were not married and found out your girlfriend was pregnant and she didn't want the child to have your last name would that cause trouble or it is not that important?

For me it is an absolute must. I know my reason is a bit archaic, but it all boils down to carrying on the family name. When I was growing up there were only two males left to carry on the "Cross" name, myself and my cousin Bob. Bob had a son, so we know it survives at least on more generation. I haven't settled down yet, but when I do it will be for certain that the children will have my surname. We also lucked out because my dad got re-married and had two more sons, so now there are a total of four of us to keep the name alive.



Nice Trip Report!!! Great Pics, thanks for posting!!!! B747Forever
User currently offlineMCOflyer From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 8691 posts, RR: 16
Reply 11, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 1775 times:

Well in my step sisters case, Alyssa kept the dads last name providing my sister picked out the middle name.

Hunter



Never be afraid to stand up for who you are.
User currently offlineAirframeAS From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 14150 posts, RR: 24
Reply 12, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 1763 times:

Quoting N1120A (Reply 8):
Some women choose to keep their maiden name....

Actually, more and more women in the U.S. is actually doing that now. It saves alot of time having to go to Social Security, calling credit cards, getting a new drivers license, among other reasons too. Some of the other reasons have to do with their protection in case if something goes wrong in the marriage, or so I'm told.



A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
User currently offlineScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 56
Reply 13, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 1760 times:

I use both my maiden and husband's names, like Hilary Rodham Clinton. My maiden name could also be a first name, so to make it clear, I use the hyphenated version at work. So say I was Scarlet O'Hara before I got married, and now am Scarlet Harlot - I usually go by Scarlet O'Hara Harlot in most cases and Scarlet O'Hara-Harlot at work.

If Mr. Harlot and I were to have kids, they would have his last name, but even if it was a boy, I would want my maiden name to be one of his middle names. This is how it is done in Portuguese - the mother's maiden name becomes the kid's middle name.

But does a kid have to have the dad's name? Absolutely not. It's a personal decision. One of my speedskating coaches has the last name Dick. His kids have their mom's last name - and he and the mom are married and together.



But that was when I ruled the world
User currently offlineAirframeAS From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 14150 posts, RR: 24
Reply 14, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 1734 times:

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 13):

You must have missed this........  sarcastic 

Quoting Tsaord (Thread starter):
The question is directed to the men.



A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
User currently offlineScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 56
Reply 15, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 1720 times:

Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 14):
You must have missed this........

Oh no, I didn't miss it. I couldn't resist putting in my two cents anyway.  Wink



But that was when I ruled the world
User currently offlineBok269 From United States of America, joined May 2007, 2104 posts, RR: 0
Reply 16, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 1688 times:

For me, having my children carry on my name will be very important. My name has always given me a sense of pride, and having my kids carry that over is very important to me. Call me old-fashioned, but that's how I feel on the matter. I'm not in favor of hyphenating my children's last name either. Getting into seperations pre-birth is hairy. Hopefully, it will never be something Ill have to deal with.


"Reality is wrong, dreams are for real." -Tupac
User currently offlineScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 56
Reply 17, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1669 times:

Quoting Bok269 (Reply 16):
My name has always given me a sense of pride, and having my kids carry that over is very important to me.

Me too. But because some guys are...

Quoting Bok269 (Reply 16):
old-fashioned

...some girls don't get to have that same experience of having their offspring carry their names too. That's not fair.



But that was when I ruled the world
User currently offlineNeilYYZ From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 1649 times:

I personally don't much care. I don't expect any future wife of mine to take my last name, and when it comes to the kids I suppose they could have both, one, or the other. In the end, I'm proud to have my fathers last name, but, if my mother hadn't taken my fathers last name when they got married I'd be equally proud to carry my mothers last name.

User currently offlinePyrex From Portugal, joined Aug 2005, 4075 posts, RR: 30
Reply 19, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 1616 times:

Quoting Ajd1992 (Reply 2):
Plus the fact that the bride gets the grooms name anyway makes enough sense.

Why in the hell? She gets it if she wants to - this is not the Middle Ages anymore, you know, marriage is not a deed of property. I for one would never marry a woman who insisted on taking my last name after marriage.

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 17):
Me too. But because some guys are...

Quoting Bok269 (Reply 16):
old-fashioned

...some girls don't get to have that same experience of having their offspring carry their names too. That's not fair.

If a guy refuses to let the woman give her last name as well to the kid that is not being old-fashioned, that is pure, straight up misogyny. Girls, if you ever find a guy like that leave him, he's not worth sticking around for (this coming from a guy).

More to the point: a kid should have both his mother and his father names, in whatever order, and in the same quantity - if he has two last names from the father he should have two last names from the mother as well. I know that in Portugal you cannot even register a kid with only one parent (on the birth certificate you need to have both the father's and the mother's name).



Read this very carefully, I shall write this only once!
User currently offlineAirframeAS From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 14150 posts, RR: 24
Reply 20, posted (7 years 2 months 2 weeks 4 hours ago) and read 1583 times:

Some guys don't care, MOST guys do care. The main reason why: to keep the family name going in the family tree. The men always hope it will be a boy when the baby is born.


A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
User currently offlineBok269 From United States of America, joined May 2007, 2104 posts, RR: 0
Reply 21, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 1548 times:

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 17):

...some girls don't get to have that same experience of having their offspring carry their names too. That's not fair.



Quoting Pyrex (Reply 19):
If a guy refuses to let the woman give her last name as well to the kid that is not being old-fashioned, that is pure, straight up misogyny. Girls, if you ever find a guy like that leave him, he's not worth sticking around for (this coming from a guy).

More to the point: a kid should have both his mother and his father names, in whatever order, and in the same quantity - if he has two last names from the father he should have two last names from the mother as well. I know that in Portugal you cannot even register a kid with only one parent (on the birth certificate you need to have both the father's and the mother's name).

Don't get me wrong. I completely understand that. I would prefer to have my kids carry on my last name, but am more than willing to meet my future wife's wishes as well when the time comes.



"Reality is wrong, dreams are for real." -Tupac
User currently offlineFalcon84 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 22, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week 6 days ago) and read 1531 times:

Quoting KROC (Reply 5):
GIMMIE BACAK MY SON!

Signed, Mel Gibson

Typical airline exec.  Big grin


User currently offlineJJJ From Spain, joined May 2006, 1892 posts, RR: 1
Reply 23, posted (7 years 2 months 1 week 6 days ago) and read 1522 times:

Quoting LTU932 (Reply 7):
In Latin America, it's impossible for something like that to happen, because by law, the child automatically acquires as first last name the name of the father, and as a second last name, the name of the mother. They haven't liberalised naming conventions the way it has been done in the US or in Europe

Don't know for the rest of the countries, but in Chile the parents may decide which order to put the surnames at birth, just like in Spain.


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