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Those Nasty Brits Name Irish World's Friendliest  
User currently offlineBraybuddy From Ireland, joined Aug 2004, 5758 posts, RR: 32
Posted (7 years 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 1722 times:

http://itn.co.uk/news/c093630438554e69c30fcea4462ada39.html

I object to this in the strongest possible terms. The Lonely Planet is a British publication, and this is nothing more than another attempt by those dastardly Brits to do us down.

For centuries they ate our newborn alive and fed the leftovers to pigs; in more recent times they have tried to poison our pristine, azure sea with nuclear waste, and our airwaves with such horrors as Big Brother, the X-Factor, Cliff Richard and Cilla Black.

They use our beautiful, unspoilt country to shield themselves from the worst excesses of Atlantic weather. They try to brainwash us by flooding us with the News of the World, The Sun, OK! and Hello! They have inflicted on us atrocities such as Tesco, HMV, B&Q and Ratners. Our city streets are not safe to walk at night, teeming as they are with chav stag and hen parties from Birmingham and Luton.

They have robbed us of our intellectual giants such as Terry Wogan, Bob Geldof, Shane McGowan, Roy Keane, Boyzone, Westlife and Louis Walsh. And I could go on . . .

This is nothing more than YET ANOTHER fiendish plot by those people on the other side of the Irish sea. Now anyone who has ever set foot in this fair land, anyone who has never had his feet washed on arrival by servile natives, nor had every toothless peasant outside the pale tug their forelock with a "Top o' the mornin' ", followed by a rendition of Danny Boy, to proclaim loudly, AND TO THE WORLD, that they have met friendlier people in Afghanistan/Iraq/Darfur/Antartica, etc etc.

Unless this list is withdrawn immediately, let me put the entire population of Britain, through the medium of airliners.net, on notice, THAT WE WILL SEND OUR ENTIRE NAVY, consisting of eight fishery-protection vessels, steaming furiously up the River Thames to demand the heads of Gordon Brown, his cabinet and the entire Royal Family.

This persecution MUST STOP. Is there no level to which the British will not sink in their evil attempts to do us down?

59 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 1, posted (7 years 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 1711 times:

Um. You know you can have Boyzone and Westlife back?  Wink

Not Wogan though. That's fighting talk, that is!  grumpy 



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineBraybuddy From Ireland, joined Aug 2004, 5758 posts, RR: 32
Reply 2, posted (7 years 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 1703 times:

Quoting Banco (Reply 1):
Um. You know you can have Boyzone and Westlife back?

Talk, talk, Banco. You STILL hold on to the Nolans, you know.

Quoting Banco (Reply 1):
Not Wogan though. That's fighting talk, that is!

Looks like we will have to send our air force as well.


User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 3, posted (7 years 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 1696 times:

Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 2):
Talk, talk, Banco. You STILL hold on to the Nolans, you know.

Do we? I must apologise most profusely for the oversight. You only had to ask...

Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 2):
Looks like we will have to send our air force as well.

Your air force is no match for millions of  grumpy   old  gits up and down the country, waving their walking sticks to prevent any unprovoked attempt to kidnap our national treasure. How about the Elgin Marbles instead?



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineAirfoilsguy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (7 years 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 1691 times:

Whatever happened to the IRA?



User currently offlineBraybuddy From Ireland, joined Aug 2004, 5758 posts, RR: 32
Reply 5, posted (7 years 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 1683 times:

Quoting Banco (Reply 3):
grumpy old gits up and down the country

You leave Prince Philip and Tony Benn out of this . . .

Quoting Airfoilsguy (Reply 4):
Whatever happened to the IRA?

Em . . . we . . . don't . . . really . . . talk . . . about . . . them . . . anymore . . . .


User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 6, posted (7 years 1 week 14 hours ago) and read 1669 times:

Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 5):
Quoting Airfoilsguy (Reply 4):
Whatever happened to the IRA?

Em . . . we . . . don't . . . really . . . talk . . . about . . . them . . . anymore . . . .

Especially...not...in...a...good...natured....bantering....thread...  Yeah sure

Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 5):
You leave Prince Philip and Tony Benn out of this . . .

Never! And we shall do more. We shall dig up Mary Whitehouse and retaliate by getting her make you feel really, really guilty about everything.

And if that doesn't work, we'll get John Motson to commentate on all your football matches. This is known as the nuclear option. Don't imagine we're afraid of Gay Byrne. We have secret defences against him.



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineSkidmarks From UK - England, joined Dec 2004, 7121 posts, RR: 55
Reply 7, posted (7 years 1 week 14 hours ago) and read 1668 times:

What are you on about you decrepit Irish fool! Dammit, Lonelyplanet were being NICE about you!! Now, they could have mentioned the appalling arrivals hall at Dublin, the complete disregard for any road rules shown by 99% of the driving population or the obscene zeal with which they consume copious amounts of alcohol, but they didn't. They said you were nice.

So wind yer neck, you bog living, blackhearted Paddy, and be grateful the mighty Brits have deigned to praise your boggy little country and not tell the truth!

And anyway, you don't have a real air force - or a real airline come to that! Big grin  stirthepot 

And my wife says "lay off Cliff Richard" but then, she's not right in the head either!

Andy  old 



Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 8, posted (7 years 1 week 14 hours ago) and read 1660 times:

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7):
Now, they could have mentioned the appalling arrivals hall at Dublin

Ye-es. I fear that the Irish might counter that by whispering Heathrow Terminal One...  embarrassed 



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineWrenchBender From Canada, joined Feb 2004, 1779 posts, RR: 9
Reply 9, posted (7 years 1 week 14 hours ago) and read 1653 times:

Quoting Braybuddy (Thread starter):
and Cilla Black

Being a scouser makes her half irish in anyway doesn't it?   

You forgot Dave Allen.....   

But you inflicted U2 on the world and Val Doonican*   and for that at least you should pay   

WrenchBender

Edit to include*

[Edited 2007-10-17 11:12:51]


Silly Pilot, Tricks are for kids.......
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 10, posted (7 years 1 week 14 hours ago) and read 1638 times:

Quoting WrenchBender (Reply 9):
and Val Doonican* and for that at least you should pay

Nuke them! Nuke them! The bastards!!!  grumpy 



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineAirfoilsguy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 11, posted (7 years 1 week 13 hours ago) and read 1613 times:

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7):
the obscene zeal with which they consume copious amounts of alcohol,

God invented alcohol so the Irish wouldn't take over the world.  duck 


User currently offlineBraybuddy From Ireland, joined Aug 2004, 5758 posts, RR: 32
Reply 12, posted (7 years 1 week 9 hours ago) and read 1562 times:

Quoting Banco (Reply 6):
We shall dig up Mary Whitehouse and retaliate by getting her make you feel really, really guilty about everything.

Oh you don't need to dig up HER to make us feel guilty. We do that adequetly enough ourselves, thank you very much.

Quoting Banco (Reply 6):
Don't imagine we're afraid of Gay Byrne. We have secret defences against him.

Mabye you could pass them on?

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7):
Now, they could have mentioned the appalling arrivals hall at Dublin, the complete disregard for any road rules shown by 99% of the driving population or the obscene zeal with which they consume copious amounts of alcohol, but they didn't.

We're not really like that at all, honestly. We only do that to annoy the Brits.

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7):
And anyway, you don't have a real air force - or a real airline come to that!

Just you wait till Willie Walsh is finished with British Airways and then come back to me on that . . .

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7):
And my wife says "lay off Cliff Richard"

Tell her not to worry. Even in my worst nightmares I wouldn't lay a finger on him . . . .

Quoting WrenchBender (Reply 9):
But you inflicted U2 on the world and Val Doonican*

How dare you speak ill of the saviour of the third world, and the dead. Val is dead, isn't he?


User currently offlineWrenchBender From Canada, joined Feb 2004, 1779 posts, RR: 9
Reply 13, posted (7 years 1 week 9 hours ago) and read 1550 times:

Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 12):
How dare you speak ill of the saviour of the third world, and the dead. Val is dead, isn't he?

Sorry BB he is still alive, kicking & aggravating http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Val_Doonican Mind you he is aggravating the Spanish most of the time. Is that the Irish revenge for the mini invasion post armada ?

WrenchBender



Silly Pilot, Tricks are for kids.......
User currently offlineBraybuddy From Ireland, joined Aug 2004, 5758 posts, RR: 32
Reply 14, posted (7 years 1 week 9 hours ago) and read 1544 times:

Quoting WrenchBender (Reply 13):
Sorry BB he is still alive, kicking

 Wow! Even when I was young he was old. And that's not today or yesterday. I am reminded of Dorothy Parker's response when someone told her that President Calvin Coolidge was dead: "How can they tell?".

In Val's context, it would be in response to "Is he still alive?"


User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 15, posted (7 years 1 week 1 hour ago) and read 1496 times:

Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 12):
How dare you speak ill of the saviour of the third world, and the dead. Val is dead, isn't he?

Have you got the saviour to pay any tax yet, by the way?

Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 12):
Quoting Banco (Reply 6):
Don't imagine we're afraid of Gay Byrne. We have secret defences against him.

Mabye you could pass them on?

He introduced Boyzone to the world, albeit somewhat unwillingly. Tell me why we should?



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineGKirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24947 posts, RR: 56
Reply 16, posted (7 years 1 week ago) and read 1488 times:

God bless our Celtic cousins  Wink
Standing together over the years, the Scots and Irish have fought the English oppressors  duck 
And yes, the Irish should be given Terry Wogan back, he's nothing but a prisoner in England  Wink



When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 17, posted (7 years 1 week ago) and read 1484 times:

Quoting GKirk (Reply 16):
Standing together over the years, the Scots and Irish have fought the English oppressors

You have NEVER stood with the Irish! The Scots WERE the Irish oppressors in the north! The Scots used to think it was a good idea to join in with an absolutist French monarchy and then wonder why the English got nervous about thousands of troops arriving on their northern border. The Irish, on the other hand, used to take one look at the continent, whisper to the English that it might be an idea to join together briefly, beat the shit out of the foreigners and then resume our own battle. Complete respect for the Irish, none for the Scots.  snooty   stirthepot 



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineFlyingbabydoc From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (7 years 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 1476 times:

Quoting Banco (Reply 17):
Complete respect for the Irish, none for the Scots

Well, Edward II learned the hard way to respect the Scots in Bannockburn 1314... One never knows what they are capable of...

Alex


User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 19, posted (7 years 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 1474 times:

Quoting Flyingbabydoc (Reply 18):
Well, Edward II learned the hard way to respect the Scots in Bannockburn 1314... One never knows what they are capable of...

One defeat in a thousand years, and we never hear the end of it!  Yeah sure  Wink



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineCupraIbiza From Australia, joined Feb 2007, 836 posts, RR: 6
Reply 20, posted (7 years 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 1453 times:

Quoting Braybuddy (Thread starter):
I object to this in the strongest possible terms. The Lonely Planet is a British publication, and this is nothing more than another attempt by those dastardly Brits to do us down.

whoa whoa whoa The "Lying" Planet may have recently been purchased by the BBC but its still an Australian organisation. We pride ourselves on providing the wrong opening days/times to the Louvre. We love listing accomodation costs at 60% of the true cost.



Everyday is a gift…… but why does it have to be a pair of socks?
User currently offlineAntdenatale From United Kingdom, joined Aug 2006, 178 posts, RR: 0
Reply 21, posted (7 years 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 1444 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Its ok for you lot over the sea, you don't have to live next to them, all we have is a small strip of water and a toll bridge to keep them out of our country! Mind you most of them are tight arses that will not pay the £5.10 to cross the Severn Bridge so at least thats one good thing!!!

User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 53
Reply 22, posted (7 years 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 1439 times:

Quoting Antdenatale (Reply 21):
and a toll bridge to keep them out of our country!

Keep us out? Why would we want to come in?  confused 

Quoting Antdenatale (Reply 21):
Mind you most of them are tight arses that will not pay the £5.10 to cross the Severn Bridge

I'd think about the implication of that, if I were you.  Wink



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineHUYguy From United Kingdom, joined Apr 2006, 274 posts, RR: 0
Reply 23, posted (7 years 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 1414 times:

Quoting Braybuddy (Thread starter):
They have inflicted on us atrocities such as Tesco, HMV, B&Q and Ratners.

You gave us Primark and Ryanair!

I think we're even.


User currently offlineCornish From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2005, 8187 posts, RR: 54
Reply 24, posted (7 years 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 1402 times:

Is now a good time to mention all that damn Riverdancing too.....  duck 


Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
25 Post contains images Banco : You mean that's deliberate? I thought they were just slipping on the floor...
26 Post contains images Cornish : Still the Irish do seem to be very polite when foreigners ask them to say 33 and then fall about on the floor laughing when they do.... And clearly th
27 DC10extender : What is this, a bash Ireland thread? What has England contributed to the world? All I can think of is bad teeth, terrible food, and soccer hooligans.
28 HUYguy : The language in which you're typing for a start. Shane.
29 Post contains images Banco : Started by an Irishman? You can always rely on some people to miss the joke.
30 Braybuddy : His Bononess does indeed pay tax . . . cough, cough . . . in Holland. Your spies are well informed, Banco. You're not supposed to know so much about
31 Post contains images Cornish : I think you'll find they are all from Devon. Or more likely Somerset..... For us Cornish its all about the Helston Floral Dance. and that brings us n
32 Braybuddy : Oh dear. Still, I suppose you have to have SOMETHING to put you on the map, apart from pasties . . .
33 Post contains images Banco : We know everything about you. What did you think MI6 stood for? It is an acronym for Mad Irish non-Six counties (to separate them from the Mad Irish
34 Post contains images Skidmarks : Only a bloody Paddy would come up with that!! At least they have a sense of humour though, unlike some parts of the British Empire Andy
35 Post contains images Cumulus : What a load of shite....... I was married to a Irish Woman for 12 years and although she was fine, all her poxy family ever went on about was the Fami
36 Braybuddy : They only did that you annoy you. Once you had your back turned they'd shut up. Oh yes. Our inferiority complex is bigger than your inferiority compl
37 Cumulus : No, they meant it.... Who's fault was that? At least you admit it.... Roddy Doyle? Hardly a classic novelist.... Look at the Commitments,The Van etc.
38 Post contains images Shamrock350 : Oh how we all love Bertie
39 Post contains images Gkirk : Especially Americans
40 Post contains images Allstarflyer : The blame game - hey, why not - the Brits are only doing this to soften you up for some insidious blow. And maybe since England loves Ireland so much
41 Post contains images Aloges : 5-1
42 Post contains images Scbriml : Not forgetting 4-2 are we?
43 Braybuddy : Braybuddy: "Oh no they didn't" Cumulus: "Oh yes they did!" Braybuddy: "Oh no they didn't" Cumulus: "Oh yes they did!" IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. EVERYTHING
44 Post contains images Aloges : You mean 2+2 - 2?
45 SaturnVRocket : Do you blame them?? Look at your country! Who wouldn't have an inferiority complex when it comes to the English!? Well..... who really likes ya'll? I
46 Cumulus : That's it then, I concede defeat...............
47 Banco : Don't TELL them, for heaven's sake! I thought you were supposed to be our allies? Ahhhh, Johnny Logan. Truly Ireland's answer to Bob Dylan.
48 Post contains images RayChuang : Makes you wonder did the original poster imbibed just a tad too much of the local Irish whiskey.
49 Post contains images Braybuddy : You could NOT put those two names in the one sentence, so thank you for using two. We will not tolerate Johnny's name being debased. (1): I don't dri
50 Post contains images Banco : I love you.....
51 Post contains images David L : You could have worded that better. Let's hope you still feel the same way at 2:30 pm tomorrow. I'll be watching the game in the pub with a lesbian Ce
52 Post contains images Tom12 : Like the World cup in 1966? 50.7 million Englishmen Really? I thought Dublin? Wow, thats $100'000 for your head! (It was Al Fayed that story was abou
53 Post contains images Braybuddy : Nitpicking, Tom, nitpicking. I assume he's talking about stout, or porter, which is a . . . ahem . . . British invention. Guinness was indeed first b
54 Tom12 : Someone made fun of Mohamed and the Taliban put $100k price tag on his head. Something like that, i only briefly glanced over it.
55 Bongodog1964 : Ah but the toll is only payable to enter Wales; there's no toll on the way out; the reason being that if there was, the queue for the toll booths wou
56 Post contains images Eaglekeeper101 : Talk about getting fleeced...
57 Post contains images Allstarflyer : I'm still wondering if GKirk will give me a thrashing over my Scots under the crown comment. If the Scots want their independence, though, let 'em go
58 Post contains images Gkirk : And I'll be working English & Welsh & Northern Irish vs Irish it would be.
59 Post contains images David L : 3:00 pm... God bless our Celtic cousins.
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