I object to this in the strongest possible terms. The Lonely Planet is a British publication, and this is nothing more than another attempt by those dastardly Brits to do us down.
For centuries they ate our newborn alive and fed the leftovers to pigs; in more recent times they have tried to poison our pristine, azure sea with nuclear waste, and our airwaves with such horrors as Big Brother, the X-Factor, Cliff Richard and Cilla Black.
They use our beautiful, unspoilt country to shield themselves from the worst excesses of Atlantic weather. They try to brainwash us by flooding us with the News of the World, The Sun, OK! and Hello! They have inflicted on us atrocities such as Tesco, HMV, B&Q and Ratners. Our city streets are not safe to walk at night, teeming as they are with chav stag and hen parties from Birmingham and Luton.
They have robbed us of our intellectual giants such as Terry Wogan, Bob Geldof, Shane McGowan, Roy Keane, Boyzone, Westlife and Louis Walsh. And I could go on . . .
This is nothing more than YET ANOTHER fiendish plot by those people on the other side of the Irish sea. Now anyone who has ever set foot in this fair land, anyone who has never had his feet washed on arrival by servile natives, nor had every toothless peasant outside the pale tug their forelock with a "Top o' the mornin' ", followed by a rendition of Danny Boy, to proclaim loudly, AND TO THE WORLD, that they have met friendlier people in Afghanistan/Iraq/Darfur/Antartica, etc etc.
Unless this list is withdrawn immediately, let me put the entire population of Britain, through the medium of airliners.net, on notice, THAT WE WILL SEND OUR ENTIRE NAVY, consisting of eight fishery-protection vessels, steaming furiously up the River Thames to demand the heads of Gordon Brown, his cabinet and the entire Royal Family.
This persecution MUST STOP. Is there no level to which the British will not sink in their evil attempts to do us down?
Banco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 55 Reply 3, posted (5 years 7 months 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 1323 times:
Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 2): Talk, talk, Banco. You STILL hold on to the Nolans, you know.
Do we? I must apologise most profusely for the oversight. You only had to ask...
Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 2): Looks like we will have to send our air force as well.
Your air force is no match for millions of gits up and down the country, waving their walking sticks to prevent any unprovoked attempt to kidnap our national treasure. How about the Elgin Marbles instead?
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 5): You leave Prince Philip and Tony Benn out of this . . .
Never! And we shall do more. We shall dig up Mary Whitehouse and retaliate by getting her make you feel really, really guilty about everything.
And if that doesn't work, we'll get John Motson to commentate on all your football matches. This is known as the nuclear option. Don't imagine we're afraid of Gay Byrne. We have secret defences against him.
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
Skidmarks From UK - England, joined Dec 2004, 7121 posts, RR: 60 Reply 7, posted (5 years 7 months 1 week 15 hours ago) and read 1295 times:
What are you on about you decrepit Irish fool! Dammit, Lonelyplanet were being NICE about you!! Now, they could have mentioned the appalling arrivals hall at Dublin, the complete disregard for any road rules shown by 99% of the driving population or the obscene zeal with which they consume copious amounts of alcohol, but they didn't. They said you were nice.
So wind yer neck, you bog living, blackhearted Paddy, and be grateful the mighty Brits have deigned to praise your boggy little country and not tell the truth!
And anyway, you don't have a real air force - or a real airline come to that!
And my wife says "lay off Cliff Richard" but then, she's not right in the head either!
Braybuddy From Ireland, joined Aug 2004, 5283 posts, RR: 35 Reply 12, posted (5 years 7 months 1 week 9 hours ago) and read 1189 times:
Quoting Banco (Reply 6): We shall dig up Mary Whitehouse and retaliate by getting her make you feel really, really guilty about everything.
Oh you don't need to dig up HER to make us feel guilty. We do that adequetly enough ourselves, thank you very much.
Quoting Banco (Reply 6): Don't imagine we're afraid of Gay Byrne. We have secret defences against him.
Mabye you could pass them on?
Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7): Now, they could have mentioned the appalling arrivals hall at Dublin, the complete disregard for any road rules shown by 99% of the driving population or the obscene zeal with which they consume copious amounts of alcohol, but they didn't.
We're not really like that at all, honestly. We only do that to annoy the Brits.
Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7): And anyway, you don't have a real air force - or a real airline come to that!
Just you wait till Willie Walsh is finished with British Airways and then come back to me on that . . .
Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7): And my wife says "lay off Cliff Richard"
Tell her not to worry. Even in my worst nightmares I wouldn't lay a finger on him . . . .
Quoting WrenchBender (Reply 9): But you inflicted U2 on the world and Val Doonican*
How dare you speak ill of the saviour of the third world, and the dead. Val is dead, isn't he?
WrenchBender From Canada, joined Feb 2004, 1779 posts, RR: 9 Reply 13, posted (5 years 7 months 1 week 9 hours ago) and read 1177 times:
Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 12): How dare you speak ill of the saviour of the third world, and the dead. Val is dead, isn't he?
Sorry BB he is still alive, kicking & aggravating http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Val_Doonican Mind you he is aggravating the Spanish most of the time. Is that the Irish revenge for the mini invasion post armada ?
Even when I was young he was old. And that's not today or yesterday. I am reminded of Dorothy Parker's response when someone told her that President Calvin Coolidge was dead: "How can they tell?".
In Val's context, it would be in response to "Is he still alive?"
GKirk From UK - Scotland, joined Jun 2000, 24621 posts, RR: 58 Reply 16, posted (5 years 7 months 1 week 1 hour ago) and read 1115 times:
God bless our Celtic cousins
Standing together over the years, the Scots and Irish have fought the English oppressors
And yes, the Irish should be given Terry Wogan back, he's nothing but a prisoner in England
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
Banco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 55 Reply 17, posted (5 years 7 months 1 week ago) and read 1111 times:
Quoting GKirk (Reply 16): Standing together over the years, the Scots and Irish have fought the English oppressors
You have NEVER stood with the Irish! The Scots WERE the Irish oppressors in the north! The Scots used to think it was a good idea to join in with an absolutist French monarchy and then wonder why the English got nervous about thousands of troops arriving on their northern border. The Irish, on the other hand, used to take one look at the continent, whisper to the English that it might be an idea to join together briefly, beat the shit out of the foreigners and then resume our own battle. Complete respect for the Irish, none for the Scots.
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
Banco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 55 Reply 19, posted (5 years 7 months 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 1101 times:
Quoting Flyingbabydoc (Reply 18): Well, Edward II learned the hard way to respect the Scots in Bannockburn 1314... One never knows what they are capable of...
One defeat in a thousand years, and we never hear the end of it!
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
CupraIbiza From Australia, joined Feb 2007, 831 posts, RR: 7 Reply 20, posted (5 years 7 months 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 1080 times:
Quoting Braybuddy (Thread starter): I object to this in the strongest possible terms. The Lonely Planet is a British publication, and this is nothing more than another attempt by those dastardly Brits to do us down.
whoa whoa whoa The "Lying" Planet may have recently been purchased by the BBC but its still an Australian organisation. We pride ourselves on providing the wrong opening days/times to the Louvre. We love listing accomodation costs at 60% of the true cost.
Everyday is a gift…… but why does it have to be a pair of socks?
Antdenatale From United Kingdom, joined Aug 2006, 172 posts, RR: 0 Reply 21, posted (5 years 7 months 6 days 21 hours ago) and read 1071 times:
Its ok for you lot over the sea, you don't have to live next to them, all we have is a small strip of water and a toll bridge to keep them out of our country! Mind you most of them are tight arses that will not pay the £5.10 to cross the Severn Bridge so at least thats one good thing!!!
Cornish From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2005, 8187 posts, RR: 56 Reply 24, posted (5 years 7 months 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 1029 times:
Is now a good time to mention all that damn Riverdancing too.....
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
25 Banco: You mean that's deliberate? I thought they were just slipping on the floor...
26 Cornish: Still the Irish do seem to be very polite when foreigners ask them to say 33 and then fall about on the floor laughing when they do.... And clearly th
27 DC10extender: What is this, a bash Ireland thread? What has England contributed to the world? All I can think of is bad teeth, terrible food, and soccer hooligans.
28 HUYguy: The language in which you're typing for a start. Shane.
29 Banco: Started by an Irishman? You can always rely on some people to miss the joke.
30 Braybuddy: His Bononess does indeed pay tax . . . cough, cough . . . in Holland. Your spies are well informed, Banco. You're not supposed to know so much about
31 Cornish: I think you'll find they are all from Devon. Or more likely Somerset..... For us Cornish its all about the Helston Floral Dance. and that brings us n
32 Braybuddy: Oh dear. Still, I suppose you have to have SOMETHING to put you on the map, apart from pasties . . .
33 Banco: We know everything about you. What did you think MI6 stood for? It is an acronym for Mad Irish non-Six counties (to separate them from the Mad Irish
34 Skidmarks: Only a bloody Paddy would come up with that!! At least they have a sense of humour though, unlike some parts of the British Empire Andy
35 Cumulus: What a load of shite....... I was married to a Irish Woman for 12 years and although she was fine, all her poxy family ever went on about was the Fami
36 Braybuddy: They only did that you annoy you. Once you had your back turned they'd shut up. Oh yes. Our inferiority complex is bigger than your inferiority compl
37 Cumulus: No, they meant it.... Who's fault was that? At least you admit it.... Roddy Doyle? Hardly a classic novelist.... Look at the Commitments,The Van etc.
40 Allstarflyer: The blame game - hey, why not - the Brits are only doing this to soften you up for some insidious blow. And maybe since England loves Ireland so much
43 Braybuddy: Braybuddy: "Oh no they didn't" Cumulus: "Oh yes they did!" Braybuddy: "Oh no they didn't" Cumulus: "Oh yes they did!" IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. EVERYTHING
45 SaturnVRocket: Do you blame them?? Look at your country! Who wouldn't have an inferiority complex when it comes to the English!? Well..... who really likes ya'll? I
46 Cumulus: That's it then, I concede defeat...............
47 Banco: Don't TELL them, for heaven's sake! I thought you were supposed to be our allies? Ahhhh, Johnny Logan. Truly Ireland's answer to Bob Dylan.
48 RayChuang: Makes you wonder did the original poster imbibed just a tad too much of the local Irish whiskey.
49 Braybuddy: You could NOT put those two names in the one sentence, so thank you for using two. We will not tolerate Johnny's name being debased. (1): I don't dri
51 David L: You could have worded that better. Let's hope you still feel the same way at 2:30 pm tomorrow. I'll be watching the game in the pub with a lesbian Ce
52 Tom12: Like the World cup in 1966? 50.7 million Englishmen Really? I thought Dublin? Wow, thats $100'000 for your head! (It was Al Fayed that story was abou
53 Braybuddy: Nitpicking, Tom, nitpicking. I assume he's talking about stout, or porter, which is a . . . ahem . . . British invention. Guinness was indeed first b
54 Tom12: Someone made fun of Mohamed and the Taliban put $100k price tag on his head. Something like that, i only briefly glanced over it.
55 Bongodog1964: Ah but the toll is only payable to enter Wales; there's no toll on the way out; the reason being that if there was, the queue for the toll booths wou
57 Allstarflyer: I'm still wondering if GKirk will give me a thrashing over my Scots under the crown comment. If the Scots want their independence, though, let 'em go
58 Gkirk: And I'll be working English & Welsh & Northern Irish vs Irish it would be.
59 David L: 3:00 pm... God bless our Celtic cousins.