ConcordeBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 5 days 2 hours ago) and read 1733 times:
Here's one for all you Family Guyers....
...the Arctic Quahog has long been considered the longest-lived animal of modern times. A team from Wales managed to pull the above specimen from depths of around 250ft while dredging north of Iceland.
Only upon killing it (which, ironically, is the only way to semi-accurately determine its age) did they find out that it was approximately 410years old-- meaning that this friggin' clam was alive before the Jamestown settlers met Pocahontas!
MSYtristar From United States of America, joined Aug 2005, 6242 posts, RR: 51 Reply 3, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 5 days 2 hours ago) and read 1697 times:
Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 2): would you honestly eat some'n you knew to be that old??
Nothing that a deep fryer and a boat load of Tabasco can't cure.
MaverickM11 From United States of America, joined Apr 2000, 15733 posts, RR: 48 Reply 5, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 1530 times:
Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 2): Imagine the toxins accumulated in 4 centuries!
You could probably fill several thermometers with the mercury sucked outta thems
Bagpiper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 8, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 1509 times:
Quoting OlegShv (Reply 6): Don't mess with scientists. Or they'll determine how old you are.
Scientists: Lets see how old he is
Man: I'm 37
Scientists: our reports show you are 9
Man: I swear! I'm 37! I just so freaking cold in this room, it makes it look like its 9!
OlegShv From Sweden, joined Mar 2006, 683 posts, RR: 2 Reply 9, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 1491 times:
Quoting Bagpiper (Reply 8): Scientists: Lets see how old he is
Man: I'm 37
Scientists: our reports show you are 9
Man: I swear! I'm 37! I just so freaking cold in this room, it makes it look like its 9!
Actually, I imagined it would look more like this:
Scientists: Let's see how old he is.
Man: I'm 37
Scientists: Well, let's perform an autopsy and find out for sure...
PlymSpotter From Spain, joined Jun 2004, 11138 posts, RR: 63 Reply 11, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 18 hours ago) and read 1397 times:
If I was that clam I'd be pretty darn annoyed; 410 years of avoiding being eaten and then you're unlucky enough for some scientist to grab you from his boat far above. That kind of luck must really suck!
Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 4): Still not as old as Andy though
Reports coming in suggest that a WMD is about to be launched in JGPH1A's direction. That's when the nurse comes back in and puts another pillow behind him, so he can reach the button
Gunsontheroof From United States of America, joined Jan 2006, 3462 posts, RR: 11 Reply 12, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 18 hours ago) and read 1369 times:
Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 11): If I was that clam I'd be pretty darn annoyed; 410 years of avoiding being eaten and then you're unlucky enough for some scientist to grab you from his boat far above. That kind of luck must really suck!
I'd think he'd be grateful to be put out of his misery. 410 years...as a clam?!? BORING! Every day would be "yep...still a clam...sitting here in the mud...yep."
FlyDeltaJets87 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 13, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 18 hours ago) and read 1369 times:
Quoting ConcordeBoy (Thread starter): Only upon killing it (which, ironically, is the only way to semi-accurately determine its age) did they find out that it was approximately 410years old-- meaning that this friggin' clam was alive
Not to be picky, but your thread title is misleading. The thread title makes it sound as if the scientists knew the clam was 410 years old before they killed it, not after.
ConcordeBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 14, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 18 hours ago) and read 1332 times:
Quoting FlyDeltaJets87 (Reply 13): The thread title makes it sound as if the scientists knew the clam was 410 years old before they killed it, not after.
...that's more along the lines of a poor assumption on your part, it has nothing to do with my thread nor its title.
Gunsontheroof From United States of America, joined Jan 2006, 3462 posts, RR: 11 Reply 15, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 17 hours ago) and read 1307 times:
ConcordeBoy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 17, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 17 hours ago) and read 1279 times:
Quoting Gunsontheroof (Reply 15): Sex: Spent?
Check the tag, anyone care to explain?
Clams go through several reproductive stages. The "spent" stage is when they're more or less taking a break from reproduction, and have very little (or no) gametes present inside of them.
N1120A From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 25852 posts, RR: 79 Reply 18, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 17 hours ago) and read 1270 times:
Quoting MaverickM11 (Reply 5):
You could probably fill several thermometers with the mercury sucked outta thems
Actually, clams accumulate very little methyl-mercury
Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
Gunsontheroof From United States of America, joined Jan 2006, 3462 posts, RR: 11 Reply 19, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 4 days 16 hours ago) and read 1264 times:
Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 17):
Clams go through several reproductive stages. The "spent" stage is when they're more or less taking a break from reproduction, and have very little (or no) gametes present inside of them.
Alfa75 From United States of America, joined May 2005, 612 posts, RR: 0 Reply 20, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 1120 times:
Quoting ConcordeBoy (Reply 2): Imagine the toxins accumulated in 4 centuries!
Considering where it was found and the fact that we have only been screwing up this planet for the last 100 years or so, it probably isn't too bad!
Gunships From United States of America, joined Nov 2001, 574 posts, RR: 6 Reply 21, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 1096 times:
The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.
[a man puts a clam on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Clam: Here's one.
The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Clam That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Clam: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Clam That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Clam: Yes he is.
The Dead Clam That Claims It Isn't: I'm not.
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Clam: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Clam That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better.
Large Man with Dead Clam: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Clam That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Clam: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
The Dead Clam That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Clam: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can't.
Large Man with Dead Clam: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Clam: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Clam That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Clam: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Clam That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Clam with his a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Clam: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Clam: Right.
Luv2cattlecall From United States of America, joined Sep 2007, 1648 posts, RR: 2 Reply 23, posted (5 years 6 months 3 weeks 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 981 times:
Serious question, don't laugh at me: How do you kill a clam (without steaming it)?
When you have to breaststroke to your connecting flight...it's a crash!
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