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A New Motto For Britain!  
User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 54
Posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 2098 times:

In one of his dafter moments, Prime Minister Gordon Brown suggested that Britain should have a national motto (despite managing perfectly well without one for centuries), presumably hoping that we'd get something like France's Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite, or the US's Land of the Free.

So the Times decided to open it out for suggestions on their website, and to the delight of all true Britons everywhere, barely anyone took it seriously.

Some of my favourites:

Yeah, but no, but, yeah.

Britain; Live wrong and prosper!

Did you spill my pint?

We live here so you don't have to.

In America We Trust

At least we're not French

Get Us Out Of Here

Once mighty empire, slightly used

Try writing history without us

Mathematically, we can still qualify.


http://timesonline.typepad.com/comment/2007/11/i-want-comment-.html

 rotfl 

So, since we clearly need help, let's throw it out to all our international enem....err friends. It's meant to be only five words, but I guess a little latitude is allowed. The more pithy the better. Abuse is allowed, but must be funny.  Wink


She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
41 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlinePilotdude09 From Australia, joined May 2005, 1777 posts, RR: 4
Reply 1, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 2091 times:

Lol one of the morning shows here in Aussie were taking the piss out of this the other day!

"Dull, Boring and Expensive" Was one of the good ones!  Wink

"Where?"


Then they got people to send in ones for Australia.

"Nick off we are full" was a goodie too.

Quoting Banco (Thread starter):
At least we're not French

 rotfl 



Qantas, Still calling Australia Home.........
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 2084 times:

I posted mine...

"4 Provinces in search of a Country"

Quoting Banco (Thread starter):
Mathematically, we can still qualify

 rotfl 


User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 2081 times:

How about -

Dentistry - Don't buy into it!


User currently offlineCornish From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2005, 8187 posts, RR: 54
Reply 4, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 2075 times:

I saw this in the paper - marvellous Big grin

How about:

"Are you disrespectin my country ?"

"Please don't hold us responsible for Kirkie"

"Proud to be English"

"Land of the chicken tikka masala"



Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
User currently offlineN1120A From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 26196 posts, RR: 76
Reply 5, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 2072 times:

"Oh, you mean there are cities other than London?"

"Anyone for cheese and pickle?"

"Even we don't like the native food."



Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
User currently offlinePlymSpotter From Spain, joined Jun 2004, 11572 posts, RR: 61
Reply 6, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 2064 times:



Quoting Banco (Thread starter):
At least we're not French

 rotfl 

I love it - if we have to have a national motto, it had better be that one!


Dan Smile



...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
User currently offlineIFEMaster From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 2060 times:



Quoting Banco (Thread starter):
Mathematically, we can still qualify.

 rotfl  The perpetual statement made every 2 years, right around this time of year. Fucking brilliant!

Some more options:

"Are we bovered?"

"Our chavs are pedigree and our ASBOs abundant."

"Two World Wars and One World Cup."


User currently offlineBanco From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2001, 14752 posts, RR: 54
Reply 8, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 2058 times:



Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 6):
I love it - if we have to have a national motto, it had better be that one!

It reminds me of the observation made by comedian Frankie Boyle, when told that the 2012 Olympics would make the country feel much better. He said "for £9 billion they could have written 'Fuck Off Germany' on the moon".  rotfl 



She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
User currently offlineCornish From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2005, 8187 posts, RR: 54
Reply 9, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 2058 times:

Britain - Reassuringly Expensive


Britain - Home of the East European



Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
User currently offlineDaleaholic From UK - England, joined Oct 2005, 3204 posts, RR: 13
Reply 10, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 2047 times:

I personally think it should be "You lookin at us?" Since that's all I seem to hear...


Religion is an illusion of childhood... Outgrown under proper education.
User currently offlineCornish From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2005, 8187 posts, RR: 54
Reply 11, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 13 hours ago) and read 2042 times:



Quoting Banco (Reply 8):
It reminds me of the observation made by comedian Frankie Boyle, when told that the 2012 Olympics would make the country feel much better. He said "for £9 billion they could have written 'Fuck Off Germany' on the moon".

for some reason that reminds me of when Brentford football club's sponsorship deal with KLM came to an end. Now Brentford FC have their stadium on the approach into LHR and it was suggested that a suitable slogan was painted on the roof of the main stand to replace the KLM logo. The most popular choice was "Flush over Fulham" Big grin



Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
User currently offlineAirportSeven From United States of America, joined Feb 2007, 327 posts, RR: 0
Reply 12, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 2015 times:

Strength
Through
Unity
Unity
Through
Faith.


User currently offlineEK20 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 12 hours ago) and read 1994 times:

Quoting Pilotdude09 (Reply 1):
one of the morning shows here in Aussie were taking the piss out of this the other day!

Was it Sunrise? At least in the UK we don't have 10 minutes of adverts every 15 minutes.  

[Edited 2007-11-16 09:37:25]

User currently offlineRara From Germany, joined Jan 2007, 2010 posts, RR: 2
Reply 14, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 1984 times:



Quoting IFEMaster (Reply 7):

"Two World Wars and One World Cup."

2 wars 1 cup  mischievous 



Samson was a biblical tough guy, but his dad Samsonite was even more of a hard case.
User currently offlineYfbflyer From Canada, joined Sep 2006, 298 posts, RR: 1
Reply 15, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 10 hours ago) and read 1961 times:

Your life on CCTV
1000 years in the making, 10 years to ruin
We apologise for the inconvenience
Drinking continues till morale improves
The land of Orwell welcomes you
We love not having constitutional rights. Shouldn't you?"
Americans who missed the boat
 rotfl 
Bleeding hearts, breeding tarts
Welcome to Monty Python's 1984
For training and security purposes
What's wrong with 7p tips?
No sex please, were British
I won't take my coat off, I'm not stopping
 rotfl 
Mother should I trust the government?
"Want to buy a peerage?"
I know! I've got bad teeth!
How high, Mr. President sir
Want oil, Start war, Blame Islam
dont do that, its bad for you
 rotfl 
Brazilian? Looks Arab. Open fire
 rotfl   rotfl   no   rotfl 
does anyone elsse understand irony
 rotfl 
Come experience '28 days later'
inbreed to succeed
A Great Airport,Though, Innit?
Friday is fatwah day
Why did we send the convicts to paradise?????
If it's Brown flush it down


User currently offlineSrbmod From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 1926 times:

They could always use the England Motto:
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b358/srbmod/England.jpg
 duck 


User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 17, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 1919 times:



Quoting Yfbflyer (Reply 15):
We apologise for the inconvenience

Hehe !

Quoting Yfbflyer (Reply 15):
Friday is fatwah day

Only if you're very good and eat all your vegetables.


User currently offlineFiatstilojtd From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 1919 times:



Quoting Yfbflyer (Reply 15):
Friday is fatwah day

JGPH1A must have sent that in..... Wink


User currently offlineEXTspotter From United Kingdom, joined May 2007, 992 posts, RR: 1
Reply 19, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 1919 times:

No wonder no-one likes them, they're millwall supporters. Chavs!

"Give me an ASBO or give me death!"

"Is one's face bovvard"

"Gingers prohibited"

"Tea? Cucumber Sandwich? Chicken Tikka Masala and a Stella?"

"Now in Polish!"



AF BE BY FR MV PD SZ U2 VZ DHC6, 8-3/4Q, 732/8, 763ER, A319, A380
User currently offlinePlymSpotter From Spain, joined Jun 2004, 11572 posts, RR: 61
Reply 20, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 1915 times:



Quoting Banco (Reply 8):
It reminds me of the observation made by comedian Frankie Boyle, when told that the 2012 Olympics would make the country feel much better. He said "for £9 billion they could have written 'Fuck Off Germany' on the moon".

Oh that would have been good too, although 5-1 might fit a little better  Wink

Quoting EXTspotter (Reply 19):
"Gingers prohibited"

 scratchchin  Well, considering that;

Quoting Yfbflyer (Reply 15):
Friday is fatwah day

I declaireth a FATWAH on thee for that comment!  grumpy   Wink


Dan Smile



...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
User currently offlineJGPH1A From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 1901 times:



Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 20):
I declaireth a FATWAH on thee for that comment!

Oh dear - don't start that again, you SCHISMATIC ! Report to your local inquisitioner for the usual beheading and 20 hours of community service.


User currently offlineBristolFlyer From United Kingdom, joined May 2004, 2270 posts, RR: 0
Reply 22, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 1898 times:

All of these are pretty funny, except...

Quoting Pilotdude09 (Reply 1):
"Dull, Boring and Expensive"

I guess that shows more about the Australian sense of humour than the British characteristics!

(C'mon, this post is 20 replies long, it's time to rag on another nation by now!)



Fortune favours the brave
User currently offlinePlymSpotter From Spain, joined Jun 2004, 11572 posts, RR: 61
Reply 23, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 1884 times:



Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 21):
Report to your local inquisitioner for the usual beheading and 20 hours of community service.

I'm sorry, he emigrated months ago...

Quoting BristolFlyer (Reply 22):
(C'mon, this post is 20 replies long, it's time to rag on another nation by now!)

Oh alright then - will Scotland do, or shall it be Wales this time? We can always have a pop at the Irish later if you like?  silly 


Dan Smile



...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
User currently offlineBristolFlyer From United Kingdom, joined May 2004, 2270 posts, RR: 0
Reply 24, posted (6 years 5 months 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1873 times:



Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 23):
Scotland



Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 23):
Wales



Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 23):
Irish

Yes, yes and yes! Although 2 out of those 3 are already covered by the all the cooments above as they're part of Britain (but don't let that stop you!).



Fortune favours the brave
25 JGPH1A : Well then you'll have to behead yourself - let that be lesson to you !
26 EXTspotter : I am sorry, but we stinged on the gilloutine cord, he can't operate it himself when he is in it. May I be of assistance? "Foight! Foight! Foight!"
27 JGPH1A : By all means, and make it quick. I have dozens of schismatics and heresiarchs to deal with. A zealot's work is never done.
28 Post contains images LAXspotter : The most substance
29 Post contains images LTU932 : I was thinking of this one: Britain - Land of the posh, home of the chavs
30 Post contains images PlymSpotter : Pah, I'll have you know I escaped the guillotine once before - those in my family are rather adapt at doing it you know. Eat cake, peasants!
31 Jafa39 : 'Ooo you lookin' at? Fancy a cuppa? Spot the white man or "England, where its still 1984"
32 NoUFO : "Britain - God save our gracious channel" "Britain - a wee bit off from Europe" "Britain - this is the mainland" "You can keep our Pound"[Edited 2007-
33 JGPH1A : I'd retort "A bas les aristos ! A la lanterne !" if I wasn't fully aware of your low and serflike social condition.
34 Post contains images Skidmarks : Britain - Motorway = car park Britain - What driving test? Britain - If it's free, tax it! Britain - Not my problem mate Britain - Home of the PC brig
35 Post contains images Banco : Ah, it does my heart good to see most of the world offer gently teasing putdowns, whilst the Brits really go for the throat and slag the place off as
36 Gkirk : From another site: We came, we stayed, we sponged
37 Post contains images JGPH1A : Would that be the Scots, then ?
38 Post contains images Fiatstilojtd : Isn't it still 1973 there according to James Blunt
39 Post contains images LHboyatDTW : England: Dentists five countries over England: Why yes we envisioned the 2012 Olympic logo to look like the Simpson children having intercourse
40 NoUFO : "Britain - We are easy to please"
41 GDB : No British Dream - Since We're Already Awake! Been There, Done That, So Bollocks Or we could modify that, by using and adapting the title of the best
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