AR385 From Mexico, joined Nov 2003, 4846 posts, RR: 27 Posted (5 years 6 months 1 week 12 hours ago) and read 3374 times:
Having been engaged twice, having given an engagement ring twice, et al. I wonder. Why does the male person in the relationship does not get an engagement ring. I mean, the girl gets a neat, hopefully big diamond, but us guys get nothing to wear until the wedding. Should this change?
StealthZ From Australia, joined Feb 2005, 5433 posts, RR: 49 Reply 1, posted (5 years 6 months 1 week 11 hours ago) and read 3362 times:
Did you get the first one back?
I was only engaged once but had not got to the ring yet. It was around Christmas though and I had bought her a really nice solid silver bracelet.. sadly had it engraved. Been looking for another Helen ever since!!
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CaptOveur From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 3, posted (5 years 6 months 1 week 11 hours ago) and read 3342 times:
I guess if you are that into wearing jewlery I don't see why not.
I have heard of the concept before but I kind of think the guy wearing a ring might not go over well with most of his friends. Unless you don't mind being told you are whipped... Or maybe the girl has already run off all of your friends and replaced them with her own.
Don't scoff at that last bit- I have seen it happen more than a couple times.
TSS From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 2870 posts, RR: 5 Reply 4, posted (5 years 6 months 1 week 6 hours ago) and read 3297 times:
Quoting CaptOveur (Reply 3): Or maybe the girl has already run off all of your friends and replaced them with her own.
...Or made you move from a place you love and can easily afford on your own to a place you're not wild about that the two of you can barely afford together...
...Or replaced your entire wardrobe with one of her choosing...
Women don't need a ring to mark a man as "taken".
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Falstaff From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 5673 posts, RR: 29 Reply 5, posted (5 years 6 months 1 week 6 hours ago) and read 3286 times:
Quoting AR385 (Reply 2): Got the two of them back. Sold them back to the jeweler's at a loss, though.
What you should have done was pry out the stones that way you could have reused them in a new ring. You would take a loss on the ring part, but you wouldn't have had to pay for stones again. A scrap gold dealer may even give a good price for the ring.
Quoting CaptOveur (Reply 3): I have heard of the concept before but I kind of think the guy wearing a ring might not go over well with most of his friends. Unless you don't mind being told you are whipped.
Very true....
I think it is a load of BS that us guys always have to buy such a thing. What happens in a gay relationship? Which man would buy the ring? Maybe gay men are smart enough not to fall into the ring buying trap. In the case of lesbians what happens there?
Vikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 8223 posts, RR: 28 Reply 7, posted (5 years 6 months 1 week 5 hours ago) and read 3258 times:
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Quoting AR385 (Thread starter): Having been engaged twice, having given an engagement ring twice, et al. I wonder. Why does the male person in the relationship does not get an engagement ring. I mean, the girl gets a neat, hopefully big diamond, but us guys get nothing to wear until the wedding. Should this change?
Actually, although it's obviously not common practice, I've seen it happen twice.
My brother, when he got engaged, started wearing a ring, mostly, I think, because he was in a different country from his fiancee at the time, and really had nothing to show for being engaged. It pretty much looked like a wedding ring (in fact, it may be his wedding ring for all I know).
The second was a friend of mine. He also got engaged, and started wearing what looked like a wedding ring. I don't remember exactly, but I think he just wanted some sign of commitment, like an engagement ring.
Oh, and yeah, expecting us guys to spend ridiculous amounts of money on engagement rings is really just BS.
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Seb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 9828 posts, RR: 17 Reply 8, posted (5 years 6 months 1 week 4 hours ago) and read 3226 times:
Quoting Falstaff (Reply 5): What happens in a gay relationship? Which man would buy the ring? Maybe gay men are smart enough not to fall into the ring buying trap.
Not true. My ex from long ago (John) and I had rings. We just decided one day to get rings. No engagement party, no marrige ceremony. Just two guys putting on rings. Took all of 20 seconds after we decided which rings to buy and that was that. I bought a different one years later and still wear it from time to time. In the Pacific Northwest, just because a guy wears a wedding ring on the left hand is not a guarantee he will be hit on or even talked to, I have found....
Falstaff From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 5673 posts, RR: 29 Reply 10, posted (5 years 6 months 1 week 3 hours ago) and read 3198 times:
Quoting Seb146 (Reply 8): In the Pacific Northwest, just because a guy wears a wedding ring on the left hand is not a guarantee he will be hit on or even talked to
My buddy, Alex, always wears his wedding ring and women hit on him all the time. He flirts back. He has been better lately, or so I hear.
LTU932 From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 13864 posts, RR: 51 Reply 12, posted (5 years 6 months 1 week 2 hours ago) and read 3165 times:
Quoting AR385 (Thread starter): Having been engaged twice, having given an engagement ring twice, et al. I wonder. Why does the male person in the relationship does not get an engagement ring. I mean, the girl gets a neat, hopefully big diamond, but us guys get nothing to wear until the wedding.
That leads me to another question: why don't more women propose? Why do we men have to do all the kneeing down, popping the question, and giving the future fiancée/wife the ring?
Yfbflyer From Canada, joined Sep 2006, 294 posts, RR: 1 Reply 13, posted (5 years 6 months 1 week 2 hours ago) and read 3146 times:
Quoting LTU932 (Reply 12): That leads me to another question: why don't more women propose? Why do we men have to do all the kneeing down, popping the question, and giving the future fiancée/wife the ring?
AndesSMF From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 14, posted (5 years 6 months 1 week 1 hour ago) and read 3142 times:
Quoting LTU932 (Reply 12): why don't more women propose?
My wife proposed to me. It is a long story, but essentially I proposed once, she said no. I then told her that no further proposal was forthcoming from me till she proposed to ME first. She did.
Type-Rated From United States of America, joined Sep 1999, 4352 posts, RR: 20 Reply 15, posted (5 years 6 months 6 days 22 hours ago) and read 3102 times:
A man is "free" right up to the marriage ceremony, that's where the ball and chain is applied. No need to advertise before the fact.
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ScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 59 Reply 17, posted (5 years 6 months 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 3061 times:
I don't think this is fair. When Mr. Harlot and I got engaged, I bought him a nice watch and had it engraved. I didn't think it was fair for him to get me a ring and for me to get him nothing.
Nancy From United States of America, joined May 2004, 467 posts, RR: 6 Reply 19, posted (5 years 6 months 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 3018 times:
A watch is the traditional present to man when he gets engaged. Of course a pilot watch is always nice. I agree that people shouldn't go crazy when buying jewelry. One commercial that bothers me is the American Express one where the guy is over his credit limit for an engagement ring and his fiance suggests he get an American Express card so she can get the ring - Hey honey let's start our new life under an unbearable burden of debt - OK sweetie sounds great! We can fight about that later and get a divorce.
Joni From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 20, posted (5 years 6 months 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 2983 times:
This depends on the surrounding culture. For example in greek orthodox countries (Serbia, Bulgaria, Russia) young men wear their engagement rings in the ring finger of the right hand. In protestant countries they wear it in the ring finger of the left hand.
In some countries (US and Japan) it's customary to buy the woman (assuming this is a hetero affair) a ring which features a gemstone, usually diamond. This is a very recent development there and created purely by de Beers' marketing department, so it should be perfectly acceptable to decline to finance any extravagant ring, the point after all is just to signal that the woman is no longer "available". Another option is to employ many of various diamond substitutes, which are visually difficult to distinguish from diamonds (she doesn't even need to know).
AR385 From Mexico, joined Nov 2003, 4846 posts, RR: 27 Reply 21, posted (5 years 6 months 5 days 11 hours ago) and read 2911 times:
Quoting Joni (Reply 20): This depends on the surrounding culture.
Quoting Nancy (Reply 19): A watch is the traditional present to man when he gets engaged.
I really wish we had that tradition in Mexico. Here, it's the ring, period. For the girl of course. No watch for us the Male. I find it rather subjugating, because as the girl has to wear the ring everywhere she goes sending a clear message she's taken, very few men will ever approach her again. While we males can go anywhere and, the ones inclined to, can engage in female companionship rather in sordid terms and be the wiser for it. Up until the date of the wedding. I believe it's a blatant double standard.
AR385 From Mexico, joined Nov 2003, 4846 posts, RR: 27 Reply 24, posted (5 years 6 months 2 days 22 hours ago) and read 2821 times:
Quoting LTU932 (Reply 23): Dude, you misquoted me. It was Andes who said this. I'm not even considering to get married at all for the time being
Sorry about that. But I'll say this again. Having been engaged twice and having given two different, 2 karat, platinum ring twice, I'm definitely going much cheaper the third time, if there is a third time. I'm thinking Cracker jack...
TSS From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 2870 posts, RR: 5 Reply 25, posted (5 years 6 months 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 2805 times:
Quoting AR385 (Reply 24): Having been engaged twice and having given two different, 2 karat, platinum ring twice, I'm definitely going much cheaper the third time, if there is a third time. I'm thinking Cracker jack...
Whoa...two carats in a platinum setting? Depend on the color, cut, and clarity of the stone, I might be willing to marry you!
Seriously though, diamonds are kind of passe'. Your intended's faceted birth stone (unless their birth stone happens to be really ugly...mine looks like broken glass out of a car window ) or their favorite semi-precious stone set in a nice silver or white gold setting is much more personal than a generic yet ridiculously expensive diamond.
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) or their favorite semi-precious stone set in a nice silver or white gold setting is much more personal than a generic yet ridiculously expensive diamond.
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