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Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna  
User currently offlineJmc1975 From Israel, joined Sep 2000, 3253 posts, RR: 15
Posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 32767 times:

What is the general consensus on this forum of gay behavior in public gyms, locker rooms, saunas, etc.? Is there a sense of entitlement to sneak a peak at an innocent patron or to excessively expose themselves.

A few months ago, something very peculiar happened to me while at my local gym. I went into the dry sauna where I frequently go to sweat out toxins.

As I was the only one in there (with a towel on), some guy comes into the sauna completely in the buff. Now at first, it didn't really surprise me as there are many old dudes who simply just don't care and they strut around their wrinkly stuff. But this one guy who was in his mid/late 30s came prancing in like he was very glad to be there..somewhat reminded me of British singer Holly Johnson in his 1989 music video "Lovetrain".

He sat down on the planks, looked intently right at me and said "Oooh, the nails are hot!" I didn't acknowlege him, but I looked down at the planks an realized there were NO nails anywhere that were exposed to touch anyones body! Over the next minute or two, he continued to try to make eyes at me and I simply keep looking down minding my own business. He then got up, started walking around in front of me, and proceeded to do some stretches as if he had no respect for what I didn't want to see. I had to basically put my head between my knees in order not to see his ass. He then sat down again and kept looking at me.

Two minutes later, I went to take my shower where there was nobody else taking a shower at the time. The layout of the shower stalls is such where you have a corridor with four shower stalls on each side (eight total). So I went all the way to the end to a stall that had the most potential privacy. A few minutes later, as I was enjoying my warm and relaxing shower, Holly Johnson slowly walked up and into the shower frickin' DIRECTLY ACROSS from me, all while he was giving me this slow, creepy, celestial gaze as he walked in. He didn't even have the descency to pick one of the other five showers where we would be out of eachothers sight! So I immdiately grabbed my towel, covered up, and gave him the f*** off stare.

I later told a couple of my gay friends of the incident. Although, the story made them laugh; they made it clear to me that this guy was completely out of line. Any more thoughts?


.......
31 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineOA260 From Ireland, joined Nov 2006, 26845 posts, RR: 58
Reply 1, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 32767 times:



Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
"Oooh, the nails are hot!"

 rotfl   rotfl 

Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
Two minutes later, I went to take my shower where there was nobody else taking a shower at the time. The layout of the shower stalls is such where you have a corridor with four shower stalls on each side (eight total). So I went all the way to the end to a stall that had the most potential privacy. A few minutes later, as I was enjoying my warm and relaxing shower, Holly Johnson slowly walked up and into the shower frickin' DIRECTLY ACROSS from me, all while he was giving me this slow, creepy, celestial gaze as he walked in. He didn't even have the descency to pick one of the other five showers where we would be out of eachothers sight! So I immdiately grabbed my towel, covered up, and gave him the f*** off stare.

Sounds a bit of a stalker alright. He should have gotten the message after a few mins. You did the right thing though to give him a f** off stare. No need to be nasty or verbally say anything , you did the right thing.Some people dont know when to take no for an answer and that goes across the board whether it be a guy or a girl.


User currently offlinePA110 From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 1995 posts, RR: 24
Reply 2, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 32767 times:
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Nope, pretty clear to me. Some folks don't get the hint. Sure, there are lots of pick-ups going on all the time in gyms and healthclubs. Most of my brethren who may be on the prowel have their gaydar tuned well enough to know fairly quickly when they're barking up the wrong tree. This guy either didn't get the hint, or thought he was such hot stuff that he was sure to turn a straight boy. Most of those attempts never end well.

Kudos to you for keeping your cool and just moving on. You shouldn't have had to put up with that. I'm gay, and if that scenario was presented to me, I would have had a few choice words for that preening queen!



It's been swell, but the swelling has gone down.
User currently offlineEmirates773ER From Pakistan, joined Jun 2005, 1449 posts, RR: 9
Reply 3, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 32767 times:



Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
Any more thoughts?

Never use public saunas.  Wink



The Truth is Out There ---- Face It!!!!!
User currently offlineDavestanKSAN From United States of America, joined Sep 2005, 1678 posts, RR: 13
Reply 4, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 32767 times:

I agree that the guy was completely out of line. Maybe you should have reported him to the gym staff.

Some people get up in arms about this sort of topic, but there's really no need to. The truth is that I've found most gay men behave absolutely as normally as straight men in a locker room type of situation. Chances are that the gay person doesn't want to look at your junk anyway, so there's no need for you to worry about them staring at you. It's a common misconception that some men have, but if you talk to a gay person, they will tell you the same as I just did.

So I'd say you did the right thing, and sorry you had to deal with such a douche.  Smile

Dave



Yesterday we've sinned, today we move towards God. Touch the sky....love and respect...Safe Star!
User currently offlineFoppishbum From Taiwan, joined Mar 2006, 807 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 32767 times:

Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
the story made them laugh

Sorry man, but it is funny.

Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
they made it clear to me that this guy was completely out of line. Any more thoughts?

I agree with them. Holly Johnson was way out of line...I do believe most gay guys (like myself) are not like that lol! I keep my eyesight to myself whenever I go to the gym or in sauna, etc and I like to cover up my body... cus I don't have the world's greatest built lol. Maybe it's the Chinese culture but I seldom make any eye contacts with people I don't know heh and don't like to be naked in public. I can't stand the Japanese hot springs - you have to be completely naked in there.

I personally like my own space and feel very uncomfortable when people look at me with any intention. Even sitting in the lecture hall, I like to have the two seats right next to me unoccupied...a bit sociophobic, eh? LOL!

So after that, are you gonna go back to that gym? Or has it scarred you for life?

[Edited 2007-12-05 16:28:36]


I'm a TAIWANESE-American living in NYC and LA.
User currently offlineLuv2fly From United States of America, joined May 2003, 12090 posts, RR: 49
Reply 6, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days 1 hour ago) and read 32767 times:

Here is a brief video of do's and don'ts, no need to thank me!




You can cut the irony with a knife
User currently offlineFumanchewd From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days ago) and read 32767 times:



Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
A few months ago, something very peculiar happened to me while at my local Turkish bathhouse. I went into the dry sauna where I frequently go to sweat out testicles.

You were asking for it.  Wink


User currently offlineRedngold From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 6907 posts, RR: 45
Reply 8, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 3 days ago) and read 32767 times:



Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
Although, the story made them laugh; they made it clear to me that this guy was completely out of line.

I think that pretty much sums it up; you agree with them. Don't give it another thought.



Up, up and away!
User currently offlineSeb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11526 posts, RR: 15
Reply 9, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 22 hours ago) and read 32767 times:

I expect guys to be naked in a locker room. I expect guys to take peeks in a locker room. This guy is a stalker and needs to have his membership revoked! That was way out of line! I used to go to a gym in south Portland. The locker room was lockers, showers, and guys. We went in, did our business, and left. Not much talking just like it should be.


Life in the wall is a drag.
User currently offlinePA110 From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 1995 posts, RR: 24
Reply 10, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 22 hours ago) and read 32767 times:
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Quoting Seb146 (Reply 9):
The locker room was lockers, showers, and guys. We went in, did our business, and left. Not much talking just like it should be.

Hmmmm, just like a bathhouse  Wink



It's been swell, but the swelling has gone down.
User currently offlineAA777 From United States of America, joined May 1999, 2544 posts, RR: 28
Reply 11, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 21 hours ago) and read 32767 times:
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Ew. The guy sounds like a perv. You have to realize that if you're gay, going into a locker room where there may be attractive, unclothed men makes it hard not to sneak a peek out of the corner of your eye. Just imagine what you would do if the locker rooms were co-ed and you got to see women changing. lol. Again, you might find it hard NOT to look. BUT.... thats in no way, shape, or form a free ticket to stare. Staring is rude and degrading for anyone. Were I you in that situation, I'd mind my own business and look away for as long as possible....but if it continued on the way you described, I'd stare right back at him- except I would have given him a death stare. Maybe then he'd get the point. Some people know nothing of class, consideration or discreetness.... be them gay, straight or in between.

-AA777


User currently offlinePureKiwi From New Zealand, joined Feb 2006, 183 posts, RR: 0
Reply 12, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 32767 times:

That guy was waaaay out of line. At the gym I take a peek out of the corner of my eye or look in the mirrors at the hot guys but never stare/stalk/hit onto them ever.

I also see someone else I know is gay taking peeks at other guys in the changing room so I geuss its ok for gays to take a quick look but not acceptable to act like the guy in the first post.


User currently offlineTSS From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 3065 posts, RR: 5
Reply 13, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 32767 times:

Three words: "Eyes front, soldier!".

Yes, the guy was waaaay out of line.



Able to kill active threads stone dead with a single post!
User currently offlineEWRCabincrew From United States of America, joined May 2006, 5523 posts, RR: 56
Reply 14, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 32767 times:



Quoting TSS (Reply 13):
Three words: "Eyes front, soldier!".

So, "Make a hole!!!" would be bad, too, then?  devil 

Quoting TSS (Reply 13):
Yes, the guy was waaaay out of line.

Big time. Unless of course he was impressed with your meat and two veg and was envious to the point of jealous. Big grin



You can't cure stupid
User currently offlineSlider From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 6785 posts, RR: 34
Reply 15, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 32767 times:



Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
He then sat down again and kept looking at me.

That guy needs a good odl fashioned ass whipping, plain and simple. I wouldn't have let any dude do that and carry on repeatedly.

Quoting Joni (Reply 17):
This guy was flirty and a bit forward, but in my opinion not dramatically "out of line".

Wow- I shudder to think of what WOULD be out of line then.


User currently offlineGunsontheroof From United States of America, joined Jan 2006, 3499 posts, RR: 10
Reply 16, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 32767 times:



Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
He sat down on the planks, looked intently right at me and said "Oooh, the nails are hot!" I didn't acknowlege him, but I looked down at the planks an realized there were NO nails anywhere that were exposed to touch anyones body! Over the next minute or two, he continued to try to make eyes at me and I simply keep looking down minding my own business. He then got up, started walking around in front of me, and proceeded to do some stretches as if he had no respect for what I didn't want to see. I had to basically put my head between my knees in order not to see his ass. He then sat down again and kept looking at me.

 rofl 

Not to make fun of your dilemma or anything, but it is a pretty funny story. You told it well. Hopefully, such encounters won't become the norm at your local gym/sauna.

Quoting Slider (Reply 28):

That guy needs a good odl fashioned ass whipping, plain and simple. I wouldn't have let any dude do that and carry on repeatedly.

Ah, how tactful. I suppose you get into your fair shair of public sauna brawls?



Next Flight: 9/17 BFI-BFI
User currently offlineSlider From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 6785 posts, RR: 34
Reply 17, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 32767 times:



Quoting Gunsontheroof (Reply 29):
Ah, how tactful. I suppose you get into your fair shair of public sauna brawls?

If some dude starts eyeballing me all creepy like that, tact isn't exactly high on the list.


User currently offlineTheCol From Canada, joined Jan 2007, 2038 posts, RR: 6
Reply 18, posted (6 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 32767 times:



Quoting Joni (Reply 17):
Less acceptable would have been if he'd pinched your ass and completely unacceptable if he'd forced you to give him a blowjob.

I believe that would be called sexual assault, which is illegal in most countries.

Quoting Gunsontheroof (Reply 29):
Ah, how tactful. I suppose you get into your fair shair of public sauna brawls?

 sarcastic 



No matter how random things may appear, there's always a plan.
User currently offlineADXMatt From United States of America, joined Jul 2006, 950 posts, RR: 2
Reply 19, posted (6 years 7 months 2 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 32767 times:

Hi JMC,,

Not to minimize your feelings but the story is kind of funny. You did the right thing to just ignore it and take the high road.

Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
He then got up, started walking around in front of me, and proceeded to do some stretches as if he had no respect for what I didn't want to see. I had to basically put my head between my knees in order not to see his ass. He then sat down again and kept looking at me.

That probably would have bothered me too.

I will usually sit on my towel as my gym the wood gets hot and if I was already sweaty the sweat feels like it is burning. I then usually use the excess towen to cover my man parts.

The nails are hot comment was most likely a way to see if you were going to engage in conversation. It was probably hot when he sat down and maybe he thought you saw him make a weird face or something. There is nothing wrong with striking up a conversation. Predatory staring is over the line when the other party is clearly not welcoming it.

Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
Holly Johnson slowly walked up and into the shower frickin' DIRECTLY ACROSS from me

Your gym doesn't have shower curtains? Either way he should have used one of the other stalls.


User currently offline1MillionFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (6 years 7 months 2 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 32767 times:

I hate to break it to you but is usualy the "straight" married men that act like that in the locker rooms. It got so bad in Nashville at the YMCA's that they had to put up signs and install extra lighting.


Larry Craig ain't the only one.


User currently offlineBraybuddy From Ireland, joined Aug 2004, 5633 posts, RR: 32
Reply 21, posted (6 years 7 months 2 weeks 6 days 5 hours ago) and read 32767 times:



Quoting ADXMatt (Reply 30):
Your gym doesn't have shower curtains?

I've never seen curtains in gym showers. Why would you want curtains on a cubicle?


User currently offlineFalstaff From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 6075 posts, RR: 29
Reply 22, posted (6 years 7 months 2 weeks 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 32767 times:
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A couple of years ago there was a sign taped to the sauna door at my gym that read: Lewd acts in the sauna will result in termination of your membership. When I asked the manager what happened all he said was "those two guys are not coming back to the gym" Sex acts in the sauna are not permitted in the sauna at my gym regardless of who you are.

Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 32):
I've never seen curtains in gym showers

my gym has actual doors. I sometimes take a shower at the gym locker room at work (if I am going out after work and no going home first) and there are no doors there.

Quoting Slider (Reply 28):
If some dude starts eyeballing me all creepy like that

I usually have my glasses off while I am naked in the locker room (as I am just about to get in or have just got out of the shower) so I couldn't tell if someone is checking me out or not.

Quoting EWRCabincrew (Reply 25):
your meat and two veg

never heard that one. I always like to use two balls and a bat or twig and berries.  Silly

Wonder what kind of perversion goes on in the ladies locker room?  blush 



My mug slaketh over on Falstaff N503
User currently offlineFumanchewd From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 23, posted (6 years 7 months 2 weeks 6 days 3 hours ago) and read 32767 times:



Quoting Falstaff (Reply 33):
Wonder what kind of perversion goes on in the ladies locker room?

Its crazy! I've seen those late night Cinemax and HBO movies!


User currently offlineFalstaff From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 6075 posts, RR: 29
Reply 24, posted (6 years 7 months 2 weeks 6 days 1 hour ago) and read 32767 times:
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Quoting Fumanchewd (Reply 34):
Its crazy! I've seen those late night Cinemax and HBO movies!

Me too. I always think that stuff only goes on in the minds of us guys. Well, some of us guys. Regardless of which team we are on we are perverts.



My mug slaketh over on Falstaff N503
25 TACAA320 : Gay etiquette ? As a straight man I never heard that the "etiquette" has a sexual orientation or connotation. Must be the same for hetero and bi. Adv
26 Post contains images TSS : That would totally never work for me, as I have one of those stares that people can instantly feel. Every time I even glance at a guy I get busted, s
27 Falstaff : Those must be the guys who hang out in Rouge Park in Detroit.
28 Seb146 : That's true. Most of the creepy guys are "straight" or married to a woman. Just the same, get a room! There are plenty of seedy motels in every city
29 KaiGywer : My old gym had four stalls with curtains, the shower tower thing in the middle with four heads and shower heads along the walls.
30 Post contains images HAWK21M : What if a Gay tries this with a Straight guy.Can the Straight Guy punch him regds MEL
31 ADXMatt : The gyms that I've been to had shower curtains except for Bally's and the YMCA. (Both of those just had a wall with showers and not actual stalls. At
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