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A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?  
User currently offlineSmithAir747 From Canada, joined Jan 2004, 1628 posts, RR: 28
Posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 7 hours ago) and read 9148 times:

OK...time for Friday's REALLY stupid, morbid thread: What kind of coffin do YOU really want, if you could choose it? That's if you have the opportunity to pre-plan your own funeral, instead of what the funeral director THINKS your family should put you in.

I'll start out. As an Irish-descended American, I really want one of the traditional Irish simple wooden coffins, which are 6-sided ("toe-pinchers" as they are commonly referred to as).

One example is this one from Remeire ( http://www.remeire.com ), an Irish company supplying coffins to the American market (there is a demand among Irish-Americans for a traditional Irish funeral). This lovely example sports a relief carving of St. Patrick (one of my patron saints) on its side:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/SmithAlien747/lismore_coffin_lg.jpg


Or, here's another alternative I'm thinking about--a lovely, utterly simple, plain pine or oak coffin made by the Trappist monks at New Melleray Abbey in Iowa ( http://www.trappistcaskets.com ). It would fit well with my tastes--utterly simple, like my primary patron saint (St. Francis of Assisi) would have loved. There is no fancy ornamentation on it, just a simple wooden cross on top:




Those two above appeal to me much more than the typical over-ornamented, very expensive US caskets, commonly sold through funeral homes.

Now it's your turn: What would YOU honestly want?

Would you want a simple wooden coffin?

Or would you want to take the plunge and splurge a tiny bit on the two extreme examples following?

1) Batesville's "Promethean" 48-oz bronze, gold-plated casket, perhaps the world's most extravagant and expensive (between $18,000 and $25,000). Is a casket REALLY worth that much? A nice used luxury car could be had for that price...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/SmithAlien747/PrometheanFullSize.jpg


2) Or, if you want to follow the example of the Egyptians, and live on immortally through modern mummification...There is actually a company called Summum ( http://www.summum.org ) that will mummify you for a cool $67,000! You could either be put in an Egyptian-styled mummiform case, or a Time Capsule case.






So, what would you choose? Have fun, and dream up what box you want!

SmithAir747


I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made... (Psalm 139:14)
41 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineAirfoilsguy From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 7 hours ago) and read 9140 times:

Burn me and use the ashes as plant fertilizer. Cemeteries are a wast of good land.

User currently offlineToast From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 7 hours ago) and read 9143 times:

Cool thread!  ghost  Big grin

Let's see... I'm gonna donate my body to science after I kick the bucket. Let them salvage anything useful and save somebody else's life with it. I don't know what the procedures are when your body is in pieces, but they can put whatever remains in jars of formaldehyde for all I care. Creeping the shit out of first-year medical students sounds like fun.  devil 

I really don't care, though. A garbage can or a plastic bag, and a landfill or compost heap all suit me fine. The only thing I wouldn't want is wasting cash on a fancy funeral. That's why I'll make sure to die penniless. It's not like I'm taking money anywhere.

I also like the idea of my friends burning my ass and having a huge BBQ over it.  Smile


User currently offlinePlymSpotter From Spain, joined Jun 2004, 11638 posts, RR: 60
Reply 3, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 7 hours ago) and read 9134 times:

I don't particularly want a coffin, wrap me in a cloth and bung me in the ground will do, or preferably cremate my body on a pyre - but I seem to remember that doing is now illegal in the UK for some reason. I think of my body rather like a shell - it's the spirit inside which counts, and that moves on when you die.

Fingers crossed it's not yet a while though!


Dan Smile



...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
User currently offlineRara From Germany, joined Jan 2007, 2071 posts, RR: 2
Reply 4, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 9096 times:

I want to be cremated - don't like the idea of my body slowly decomposing, stinking and eaten by worms. And then buried anonymously, without a tombstone. My grandparents are buried somewhere under a large, green meadow with some trees, no tombstones anywhere... I think that's lovely. Above all I don't want my family to spend any more money than absolutely necessary.

Good thread idea though!



Samson was a biblical tough guy, but his dad Samsonite was even more of a hard case.
User currently offlineEWRCabincrew From United States of America, joined May 2006, 5523 posts, RR: 56
Reply 5, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 9091 times:

After I have donated uesful parts, it's off to the furnace for me. In keeping with me being gay, no box for me. Big grin  Silly


You can't cure stupid
User currently offlineHalcyon From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 9082 times:



Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 3):
cremate my body on a pyre

That or something simple. I really won't care by that time.


User currently offlineAerorobNZ From Rwanda, joined Feb 2001, 7184 posts, RR: 13
Reply 7, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 9059 times:

Drop me in a hole in the ground and leave me to rot in peace (into pieces). I want no funeral, no casket, no tombstone.

User currently offlineIFEMaster From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 9047 times:

My current last will and testimony has me ending up as...



...and being sprinkled...



User currently offlineLHboyatDTW From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 9031 times:

Morbid thread indeed.

I'd just like to have my ass get cremated and spread out somewhere like Northern MI. The idea of a coffin kinda creeps me out, considering that I am somewhat claustrophobic. Also cemeteries while interesting are a large waste of land in my opinion.


User currently offlineScottieprecord From United States of America, joined Jul 2004, 1363 posts, RR: 11
Reply 10, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 9018 times:

No coffin necessary...

Two options:
a) to science
b) cremated, part of it spread in a few places around Texas, and the rest loaded up into fireworks to be shot off at the night-time funeral / BBQ  Smile


User currently offline57AZ From United States of America, joined Nov 2004, 2550 posts, RR: 2
Reply 11, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 9007 times:

I would prefer the Trappist casket as I intend to be cremated. As shown above, the casket is simple wooden and the metallic hardware can be replaced with wooden handles for the purpose of cremation.


"When a man runs on railroads over half of his lifetime he is fit for nothing else-and at times he don't know that."
User currently offlineNoUFO From Germany, joined Apr 2001, 7949 posts, RR: 12
Reply 12, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 8981 times:



Quoting Scottieprecord (Reply 10):
a) to science

Spent the last week of January in a University hospital and while I was checking-in they asked me if anything goes seriously wrong like it did the other day if they could have my "*caugh* dead body for *ahem* ... uh... autopsy" then.
I agreed, but it did feel odd.



I support the right to arm bears
User currently offlineJAGflyer From Canada, joined Aug 2004, 3508 posts, RR: 4
Reply 13, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 8957 times:

http://www.upgradetravelbetter.com/w...ploads/2007/01/airplane-casket.jpg

Painted in a livery of my choice... hahaha  airplane 



Support the beer and soda can industry, recycle old airplanes!
User currently offlineAn-225 From United States of America, joined Sep 2000, 3950 posts, RR: 40
Reply 14, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 2 days ago) and read 8951 times:

I just want to be cremated and I wouldn't want to have a large funeral. No funeral, no crying and no religion please, thanks.

Alex.



Money does not bring you happiness. But it's better to cry in your own private limo than on a cold bus stop.
User currently offlineAlfa75 From United States of America, joined May 2005, 614 posts, RR: 0
Reply 15, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 8929 times:

How about having this done?




The best things in life aren't things!
User currently offlineSKYYBLUE From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 8927 times:

Discussed this with my mother after coming home from my great-grandmother's funeral. I want to be cremated. I told my mother to go skydiving (she is petrified of flying) with my remains and sprinkle me in the air.

User currently offlineArluna From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 88 posts, RR: 1
Reply 17, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 21 hours ago) and read 8918 times:

Hello all,

For me it'll be the Body Farm at the University of Tennessee Forensic Science Lab.

They will put me outside and study the rate of decomposition or whatever else they do.

When they've completed that they will take the skeleton that's left and use it in a classroom somewhere.

Sounds like fun, huh?

J


User currently offlineMal787 From Australia, joined Jul 2007, 687 posts, RR: 0
Reply 18, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 8903 times:



Quoting EWRCabincrew (Reply 5):
After I have donated uesful parts, it's off to the furnace for me. In keeping with me being gay, no box for me.

Apart from donating any usefull parts as I doubt there will be any after years of drinking & smoking . Thats the same for me EWRC



Flying cant get enough of it
User currently offlineQFA380 From Australia, joined Jul 2005, 2061 posts, RR: 1
Reply 19, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 8897 times:

Lots of people wanting to have their bodies given to science. I think I'll just have a fairly simple coffin, get cremated and have my ashes scattered but have a plaque somewhere. The only reason for this is so if anyone ever feels like doing some family history they will be able to find me and know a little about me.

User currently offlineSKYYBLUE From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 8892 times:



Quoting QFA380 (Reply 19):
I think I'll just have a fairly simple coffin, get cremated and have my ashes scattered but have a plaque somewhere. The only reason for this is so if anyone ever feels like doing some family history they will be able to find me and know a little about me.

Why have the coffin if you get cremated?


User currently offlineQFA380 From Australia, joined Jul 2005, 2061 posts, RR: 1
Reply 21, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 8890 times:



Quoting SKYYBLUE (Reply 20):

For the funeral....?


User currently offlineSmithAir747 From Canada, joined Jan 2004, 1628 posts, RR: 28
Reply 22, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 8889 times:

Quoting QFA380 (Reply 19):
Lots of people wanting to have their bodies given to science. I think I'll just have a fairly simple coffin, get cremated and have my ashes scattered but have a plaque somewhere. The only reason for this is so if anyone ever feels like doing some family history they will be able to find me and know a little about me.

I don't know anything about Australian law on funeral practices, including caskets for cremation, but is a coffin required for cremation? Are you planning to have a wake and funeral prior to cremation? Or do you plan on direct cremation after death, with a memorial service later on? If you want a funeral prior to cremation, you could get by with just a simple wooden coffin--and get cremated in it (if there are no metal pieces in the coffin). Otherwise, for direct cremation, is a coffin still required? Or can you just get cremated in a cardboard box?

In the USA, the law says that no coffin is necessary for cremation. Cremation is normally the cheapest way to go--if your body is directly cremated after death. Funeral homes, however, in the name of profit, will try to sell you all kinds of caskets for cremation--such as wooden coffins or cloth-covered caskets that are marketed for cremation, pushing up the price. In fact some casket companies make special caskets that look like normal caskets on the outside, but have a removable interior liner (cardboard box) that gets cremated whilst the outer shell gets reused. Sometimes, funeral homes will "rent" a nice casket for the wake and funeral, then take the body out and cremate it, and reuse the casket.

But US law specifically states that no coffin is required for cremation--even a cardboard box will do just fine. It's the funeral homes themselves that try to "hard-sell" you a fancy casket, even for cremation! In fact, funeral homes in the USA often run afoul of the law and gouge grieving families with all kinds of upsells!

What do Australian funeral providers do?

SmithAir747

[Edited 2008-02-08 22:15:22]


I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made... (Psalm 139:14)
User currently offline57AZ From United States of America, joined Nov 2004, 2550 posts, RR: 2
Reply 23, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 8886 times:



Quoting SKYYBLUE (Reply 20):
Why have the coffin if you get cremated?

In many places, the body is required to be put into a container for health/sanitation reasons. For obvious reasons, crematories can only accept a body that is in a combustible container such as a fiberboard transportation container or a wooden casket or coffin. Most wooden casket makers offer models for traditional burial and cremation. Traditional burial caskets have metal hardware such as handles for the pallbearers while cremation caskets have wooden handles and no or very little metal hardware. Interior finish also differs.



"When a man runs on railroads over half of his lifetime he is fit for nothing else-and at times he don't know that."
User currently offlineQFA380 From Australia, joined Jul 2005, 2061 posts, RR: 1
Reply 24, posted (6 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 8884 times:



Quoting SmithAir747 (Reply 22):

I have no idea of the laws, I think rent-a-casket and cardboard ones are legal. Except I'd prefer my own coffin than one that a few other people have been in too (I know they replace the linings but still).


25 SmithAir747 : I'm curious...What do the coffins in Australia look like? Do they look like traditional Anglo-Irish wooden coffins with 6 sides (like the ones I show
26 AerorobNZ : If it's like NZ, and i think it is, the smaller Anglo Irish style is far more common.
27 Post contains images Babybus : I suspect when I die, I will rise again and be assumed bodily into the heavens. Dying, it's such a waste of time.
28 Post contains links CO777ER : What ever COSTCO has on sale at the time is fine with me. http://www.costco.com/Common/Categor...C|20595&lang=en-US&whse=BC&topnav= Just kidding
29 Post contains images QFA380 : Yeah, as AerorobNZ said the 6 sided ones are much more common. I've never see or even heard of a rectangular one being used. Another thing we do diff
30 Post contains images OA260 : I like the Indian tradition of floating on a burning raft surrounded by nightlights !!! Or you could go for this one in Ghana :::
31 HT : IIRC, over here in Germany there is the option to rent a coffin to be used for the funeral service prior to cremation off-site. After the funeral ser
32 Post contains images Aloges : Trust me, some of us were a fair bit creepier than any dead body in the hall. But yes, we do very much appreciate the donations, though our ways of c
33 MadameConcorde : I want some of my ashes to be sent off to Space and float around the universe for time eternal whichever way possible. There must be a cost to this, I
34 Pe@rson : Gees. I'm only 25. I have at least another 200 years before I must consider such a thing.
35 Post contains images Gkirk : Signed, Dutch a.netters
36 Post contains images Skidmarks : It's getting too close for comfort now and I'd rather just think about living whatever I have left as opposed to worrying about what to do with my cad
37 Post contains images Toast : Donate it to the British Museum?
38 Post contains images Gkirk :
39 AerorobNZ : have an exit row window and emergency slide placed in the side of your coffin.
40 Post contains images TSS : For a coffin, just a basic black or navy blue model with silver-toned (no gold, please) fittings will be fine with me. The only extra-cost option I'd
41 Post contains images Jetjack74 : I concur Ashes to ashes
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