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Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...  
User currently offlineZach60 From United States of America, joined Apr 2008, 15 posts, RR: 0
Posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 3813 times:

I posted a few months ago under -'Wife wants more lovin'

My wife told me yesterday she wants a divorce.She said she told me she wanted more from a husband than just a housemate to rear children. I have to admit I didn't do many of the suggestions I was told but I never thought she would go to this level.

I never thought before about being divorced and not seeing my kids everyday.That is what is causing an ache inside me most.

44 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineAjd1992 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 3792 times:



Quoting Zach60 (Thread starter):
I have to admit I didn't do many of the suggestions I was told but I never thought she would go to this level.

From this statement alone, I doubt you're going to get much sympathy from us...

And plus you don't really post this sorta stuff on the internet.

You lost your kids through your own doing, so it's your fault.


User currently offlineRara From Germany, joined Jan 2007, 2057 posts, RR: 2
Reply 2, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 3694 times:



Quoting Ajd1992 (Reply 1):

And plus you don't really post this sorta stuff on the internet.

True, that's because people like you helpfully jump in with a three-line analysis of someone else's marriage problem! Completely unnecessary.

Who's "fault" it is is not up to you to judge, and if you have nothing else to offer, I suggest you stay out of it.



Samson was a biblical tough guy, but his dad Samsonite was even more of a hard case.
User currently offlineAGM100 From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 5407 posts, RR: 16
Reply 3, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 3683 times:



Quoting Zach60 (Thread starter):
never thought before about being divorced and not seeing my kids everyday.That is what is causing an ache inside me most.

Now is the time to do something about it. Please believe me ,,, nothing good will come from your divorce. Unless you are getting your kids away from violence or drug and alcohol abuse.

This will haunt you for the rest of your life , do everything within your power to keep your family together. We did not , (My Ex and I) and I see the pain and confusion in my kids all the time. Be honest with your wife and open your soul to her , if she rejects it then you have to do whatever needs to be done. But please just be sure that you satisfy yourself that you honestly and deeply tried to keep your family together.

I hope the best for you ,



You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
User currently offlineIAirAllie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 3679 times:

Sounds like she tried telling you what she needed out of the relationship and for whatever reason you didn't think it was worth the effort. What did you expect the end result to be? Marriages take lots of work.

User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31667 posts, RR: 56
Reply 5, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 3666 times:

Maybe you both can work out a solution & get back on track for the sake of the kids.
Put in that extra effort & see.A solution will def arise.

regds
MEL



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineIAirAllie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 3645 times:

I do have to agree with AG and Hawk. Though I think you may have left it too late it is still worth the effort to save the marriage especially for the sake of your children.

User currently offlinePlaneWasted From Sweden, joined Jan 2008, 515 posts, RR: 0
Reply 7, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 3630 times:

If he doesn't love his wife enough, how can it be his fault? Such things happen, what to do?
Divorce in a good and mature way will probably be the best in the long run.


User currently offlineAGM100 From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 5407 posts, RR: 16
Reply 8, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 3613 times:



Quoting PlaneWasted (Reply 11):
Divorce in a good and mature way will probably be the best in the long run.

Very hard to divorce in a " good and mature way" there will be pain . Of course the adults have to be "business" like but the pain of failure and the hole that is left in your heart are hard to heal. No matter what the situation is , My wife left me for someone else , I still blame myself in some way. Always wondering , what I could have done better , did I push her away without even knowing , was I a big ass and never even realized. These are questions that come in the middle of the night , and prey on your mind. Unless you just dont care , some people go on and just dont care about any of it.

How do you teach your daughters about love and life and how to treat their future spouse when your marriage is pile of smoking wreckage ?

There are so many reasons to keep your marriage together , they far out number the reasons to let is crash. In my opinion anyway ... that all.



You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
User currently offlinePlaneWasted From Sweden, joined Jan 2008, 515 posts, RR: 0
Reply 9, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 3589 times:

Ok, you have much more experience with love than I do and I respect that (I'm worthless with girls    ). I just try to apply some rational thinking. Of course these matters are never easy and there are lots of things to consider.

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 12):
Very hard to divorce in a " good and mature way" there will be pain . Of course the adults have to be "business" like but the pain of failure and the hole that is left in your heart are hard to heal. No matter what the situation is , My wife left me for someone else , I still blame myself in some way. Always wondering , what I could have done better , did I push her away without even knowing , was I a big ass and never even realized.

Of course there will be pain. But what is best, pain for a while or pain for the rest of your life? And don't blame yourself. You and your wife were probably just not the perfect match, that's noones fault.

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 12):
How do you teach your daughters about love and life and how to treat their future spouse when your marriage is pile of smoking wreckage ?

Not by being married to someone you don't love. Meeting a new woman that you really love will teach your daughters much more about love. I really hope and I think it's quite likely you will meet that woman someday.  

[Edited 2008-09-11 10:36:33]

User currently offlineDragon6172 From United States of America, joined Jul 2007, 1202 posts, RR: 0
Reply 10, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 3569 times:

May I suggest you cancel your membership to a.net and any other forums you participate in. If you want to talk to someone about your relationship, talk to your friends, talk to your family, talk to your therapist, talk to your wife!! Talk to people who know you for advice, not a bunch of faceless posters on the internet. Spend less time on the .com and more with the wife and family, especially if times at home are rough.

Best of luck to you.



Phrogs Phorever
User currently offlineAGM100 From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 5407 posts, RR: 16
Reply 11, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 3542 times:



Quoting PlaneWasted (Reply 13):
Not by being married to someone you don't love

Valid point , but my take on it is this. I believe that it is very rare that you meet someone who you fall in lasting love with right away. I will admit after much time and thought about my relationship that I did not truly love my ex wife in the beginning. Sure , we were "in love " having alot of fun ... hanging out all the time , talking on the phone all the time ... could not wait to see each other. What I can say is that I fell in love with her over time. I fell in love with her after suffering with her though hard times . We were once a team , raising kids , making a home and relying on each other for support. This is what I call true Love. When that falls apart it is very hard to regain with anyone else.

Quoting PlaneWasted (Reply 13):
I really hope and I think it's quite likely you will meet that woman someday

Naa , having more fun with my kids and my fishing boat ... thanks . It takes alot of work to build love , it is not a magic spell. It is a long road that has amazing good times on it .. and some tough hills to climb.



You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
User currently offlineRJ111 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 3518 times:

Actually i think the anonymity of the internet can often be a good medium to talk about close things. As long as it's presented and discussed in a intelligent way and you only use it as general guidance.

However, I didn't see you previous post and have no idea of what happened, so i'm out.


User currently offlineEasternSon From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 668 posts, RR: 1
Reply 13, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 3411 times:

Do you still want to be married to her?

From the original post, it sounds like you love your children, and will miss them, but aren't too concerned about the end of your relationship.



"The only people for me are the mad ones...." Jack Kerouac
User currently offline747srule From United States of America, joined Mar 2004, 429 posts, RR: 0
Reply 14, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 3366 times:

If it has tits or tires,it's gonna be trouble.


Jesus is the way,the truth,and the life
User currently offlineJetblueguy22 From United States of America, joined Nov 2007, 2769 posts, RR: 4
Reply 15, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 3364 times:
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HEAD MODERATOR



Quoting AGM100 (Reply 3):
Now is the time to do something about it. Please believe me ,,, nothing good will come from your divorce.

Tell me about it. My parents divorced when I was in the 1st grade. I like my stepdad (don't get me started bout stepmom) but it just isn't the same. You should try really hard to prevent this. Because if you think its tough for you I guarantee its a 100 times harder on the kids.
Blue



You push down on that yoke, the houses get bigger, you pull back on the yoke, the houses get bigger- Ken Foltz
User currently offlineNIKV69 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 3359 times:



Quoting Zach60 (Thread starter):
'Wife wants more lovin'

This statement is pretty easy, why didn't you heed this?

Quoting Dragon6172 (Reply 10):
May I suggest you cancel your membership to a.net and any other forums you participate in. If you want to talk to someone about your relationship, talk to your friends, talk to your family, talk to your therapist, talk to your wife!! Talk to people who know you for advice, not a bunch of faceless posters on the internet. Spend less time on the .com and more with the wife and family, especially if times at home are rough



Greatest post in this history of this site.


User currently offlineAirframeAS From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 14150 posts, RR: 24
Reply 17, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 10 hours ago) and read 3321 times:



Quoting Ajd1992 (Reply 1):
Quoting Zach60 (Thread starter):
I have to admit I didn't do many of the suggestions I was told but I never thought she would go to this level.

From this statement alone, I doubt you're going to get much sympathy from us...

And plus you don't really post this sorta stuff on the internet.

You lost your kids through your own doing, so it's your fault.

Sorry, dude... But I got to go with Ajd1992 on this one, as much as reality hurts. Man up and move on. It is not worth hurting over... at least you'll get your freedom back, well, some of it...

Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 4):
Marriages take lots of work.

Allie said it better than I could. Marriage isn't a bf/gf type relationship at all. Marriage is a life committment.

Quoting Dragon6172 (Reply 10):
May I suggest you cancel your membership to a.net and any other forums you participate in. If you want to talk to someone about your relationship, talk to your friends, talk to your family, talk to your therapist, talk to your wife!! Talk to people who know you for advice, not a bunch of faceless posters on the internet. Spend less time on the .com and more with the wife and family, especially if times at home are rough.

 checkmark  I did this when my last ex-gf and I were having tough times...it didn't work and she left me eventually. It was all for the best. But now, I have a new gf and I am not even on A.net when I am around her.



A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
User currently offlineSkySurfer From United Kingdom, joined Sep 2004, 1136 posts, RR: 12
Reply 18, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 3296 times:

I divorced my wife after 1 year of telling her it was coming if things didin't change * i wont go into it), but she stuck her head in the sand and i left. It's a shame yes but both sides have to be open and honest and recognize each other's side.......if only one party see's what's going on then why is it worth staying on the path to nowhere? It takes TWO to make a marriage and TWO to save it......mine didn't work out and i don't regret it because i know i did all i could but the other party didn't want to! oh well

Cheers

Stu



In the dark you can't see ugly, but you can feel fat
User currently offlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 39716 posts, RR: 75
Reply 19, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 3097 times:

Zach60:
Sorry about your marriage problems.
Look at the bright side. Your next woman will be younger & hotter.  Smile



Bring back the Concorde
User currently offlineAirframeAS From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 14150 posts, RR: 24
Reply 20, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 3085 times:



Quoting Superfly (Reply 19):
Your next woman will be younger & hotter.  Smile

That is what I have now... And I'm happy!  Wink



A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
User currently offlineFlighty From United States of America, joined Apr 2007, 8416 posts, RR: 3
Reply 21, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 1 day 17 hours ago) and read 2967 times:

Why not consider an open marriage... it's better than splitting your family up.

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 3):
Now is the time to do something about it. Please believe me ,,, nothing good will come from your divorce. Unless you are getting your kids away from violence or drug and alcohol abuse.

Exactly.


Good luck

[Edited 2008-09-13 09:07:42]

User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31667 posts, RR: 56
Reply 22, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 2847 times:



Quoting Flighty (Reply 21):

Why not consider an open marriage... it's better than splitting your family up.

Makes sense.....That way the kids won't suffer & you both can live normally too.
regds
MEL.



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineUAL757 From United States of America, joined Sep 2006, 806 posts, RR: 4
Reply 23, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 2780 times:



Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 20):
That is what I have now... And I'm happy! Wink

Ohh lucky!


User currently offlineA346Dude From Canada, joined Nov 2004, 1282 posts, RR: 7
Reply 24, posted (5 years 10 months 3 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 2764 times:



Quoting Flighty (Reply 21):
Why not consider an open marriage... it's better than splitting your family up.

That sounds like a terrible compromise, just to avoid doing what may be hard but is probably necessary. It might last for a year or two but I can never see it working in the long run. It won't spare the kids either as they are very perceptive in these matters and are not easily fooled.



You know the gear is up and locked when it takes full throttle to taxi to the terminal.
25 Flighty : But again, divorce is even worse. A lot of successful marriages have included affairs over the years. I guess people keep it a secret most of the tim
26 HAWK21M : True....But if both parents handle it well......thinking of the kids in mind...It will work.its worth a try though. regds MEL
27 YKA : Women are evil. Period. They have some inborn instinct that urges them to change partnters on a regular basis. Probably something to do with spreading
28 StuckInCA : I would much prefer parents being divorced than growing up in a tense, hostile, loveless household. I think the "keep the marriage together at all cos
29 Cytz_pilot : I'm truly sorry about what you're going through. All I can offer is my personal experience on the subject, as the child of a divorced couple. My paren
30 IAirAllie : I agree with the last two posts. My parents are better off divorced. They are happier and are better parents seperate than they were when they were to
31 TRVYYZ : LOL! That was cool! true to some extent.
32 Kmh1956 : Perhaps you should have considered this possibility before you decided to ignore your wife's needs. Sorry....I call 'em as I see 'em.
33 Post contains images Superfly : Come on, you guys should give Zach60 a break. How come just about every relationship / marriage problem almost always comes down to 'making her happy'
34 StuckInCA : Agreed. We don't really know enough to be so judgemental in my opinion. I can imagine having conversations about "I need... I want..." and not interp
35 Kmh1956 : Preaching to the choir here...I was married to an abuser....verbal, emotional and physical. It started on the honeymoon and lasted the entire length
36 TUNisia : Well said (and I never agree with you). It's so important for the family unit to stay together. The kids need it and maybe in the long run things wil
37 Post contains links and images Superfly : Gosh darn it. The link from that site isn't allowing hot linking. Here is the photo again. Re: post #33
38 BN747 : Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce... Well it seems to me if it's true that " Wife Wanted More Lovin"...and for whatever reason you couldn'
39 3DoorsDown : No. Go ahead and blame yourself. If your wife points out the problem, and you choose to do nothing about it, whether it is an issue with her or with
40 Tsaord : DO NOT use kids as an excuse to stay in an unhappy marriage. If she feels she needs to go then let her go. What the both of you must do is make sure y
41 AGM100 : Ahhh come on ,, I am not that bad surely we can agree on something? . Dont run with the herd , dare to annoy people from time to time. It makes your
42 StuckInCA : I'm not sure why you think it "makes" your kids have to decide who they like better. I'm sure that happens sometimes, but it doesn't have to be that
43 Cytz_pilot : Agreed. The non-custodial parent needs to be there as much as possible for their children, even if that means overcoming personal issues with the spo
44 YKA : 3DoorsDown, I think you missed the point of my post. Besides, STDs are not as common as sex-ed class might make you think and if you choose your partn
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