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Staying Sane  
User currently offlineUmfolozi From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Posted (5 years 7 months 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1127 times:

Got this at work yesterday, hope this puts a smile on your face! Have a great weekend everybody. Big grin


How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity:


1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your rubbish bin On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone is Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your cheques, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Have Your colleagues address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

16. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'

17. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The car park, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'

18. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

12 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineHowSwedeitis From Sweden, joined Jul 2007, 586 posts, RR: 0
Reply 1, posted (5 years 7 months 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1121 times:
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Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

 check  That's a classic.

-HSII



Heja Sverige!!
User currently offlineWILCO737 From Greenland, joined Jun 2004, 8906 posts, RR: 76
Reply 2, posted (5 years 7 months 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1121 times:
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Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

I'll do that on my next flight Big grin

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

The face of the waitress must be funny Big grin

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'

 rotfl 

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
16. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'

A classic one. And I did this once. People where like: WTF?!

Yes, you made me laugh. A good start in the day  bigthumbsup 

WILCO737 (MD11F)
 airplane 



It it's not Boeing, I am not going.
User currently offlineTSS From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 3050 posts, RR: 5
Reply 3, posted (5 years 7 months 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 1100 times:



Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone is Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

If nobody got killed during the initial three weeks, then that fourth week would be fun!  bigthumbsup 

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
17. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The car park, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'

 rotfl   rotfl   rotfl 



Able to kill active threads stone dead with a single post!
User currently offlineVikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 9401 posts, RR: 27
Reply 4, posted (5 years 7 months 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 1090 times:
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Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

Or perhaps a Diet "dihydrogen minoxide".........

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your cheques, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'

 rotfl 

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
12. Sing Along At The Opera.

For some reason, this one cracks me up as well. Would just be so out of place.



"Two and a Half Men" was filmed in front of a live ostrich.
User currently offlineLASOctoberB6 From Japan, joined Nov 2006, 2380 posts, RR: 1
Reply 5, posted (5 years 7 months 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 1084 times:

That's new to me. They sure made me smile. Thanks..  Smile


[NOT IN SERVICE] {WEStJet}
User currently offlineDFW13L From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 6, posted (5 years 7 months 3 days 9 hours ago) and read 1012 times:



Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone is Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

I know someone who has put decaf in the coffee maker! A secretary had to go home early with a headache!!

Great list.


User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31573 posts, RR: 57
Reply 7, posted (5 years 7 months 3 days 6 hours ago) and read 972 times:

Nice ones.
Thanks....
regds
MEL



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineSkyGirl From United States of America, joined Nov 2007, 451 posts, RR: 4
Reply 8, posted (5 years 7 months 2 days 22 hours ago) and read 947 times:



Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice

I did this once on accident at petsmart. My managers never let me live it down.

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

I do this during the beverage service. Most people miss it.

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your cheques, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'

I had a friend cut me a check once, and they were kind enough to write 'drugs' in the memo field. It was a lot of fun taking that to the bank...



...Now they face an even greater danger...Tyrannousaurs in F-14's!!
User currently offlineFlyDeltaJets87 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (5 years 7 months 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 924 times:



Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
16. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'

Sounds like Chris in Family Guy "They have this game there where you in a dollar and you win four quarters! I win every time!"  wink 

I would harass people who were fans of certain sports teams to keep from going insane at the restaurant I worked at - I would tell anyone coming through the door (or when they came up to the register if I was cashiering) who was wearing a Pittsburgh Steeler or Dallas Cowboys shirt or jersey (biggest rivals of the Cincinnati Bengals and New York Giants, respectively) that they would be assessed a penalty on their check for wearing such God-awful stuff. I also told people wearing Boston Red Sox stuff the same thing, while I told people wearing Yankees, New York Giants, or Cincinnati Bengals stuff that they would receive 50% off. I always got a laugh out of it and the best was when customers of people who I would "charge extra" would say "the penalty's still worth it" - usually from Boston Red Sox fans.

I still find myself having to do such things to keep from going insane even
Last semester my job for ROTC job really sucked. I was "safety staff" which mant lots of standing around and watching for an hour or two at a time. It was boring and I hated it so we created ways to have fun when times . One day before physical training started we were having a "Family Guy" moment while doing radio checks - we were mimicking the "You must say over at the end of every sentence, over"...."Wait, I have to say over even if the sentence ends in over"....."What, I didn't hear what you said, over".....

Witty responses for when you answer the phone can be fun too. "Hello" or "What's up?" gets old quick.

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
17. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The car park, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'

Humming the Jaws theme at the ocean is pretty fun.
Sitting next to nervous fliers and pointing out at the wing flexing up and down in turbulence and saying things like "you know I could be wrong but I don't think the wing's supposed to be bouncing up and down like that" is fun too.  biggrin 


User currently offlineLASOctoberB6 From Japan, joined Nov 2006, 2380 posts, RR: 1
Reply 10, posted (5 years 7 months 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 924 times:



Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
17. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The car park, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!

My mom and I just had a laugh fit over that one. It's only the second time I've read it..



[NOT IN SERVICE] {WEStJet}
User currently offlineEuclid From South Africa, joined Apr 2005, 372 posts, RR: 0
Reply 11, posted (5 years 7 months 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 893 times:

Try going into a furniture store and ask them for a decaffeinated coffee table. Did this a few times and reactions ranged from blank stares to people finding it hysterically funny.

User currently offlineUmfolozi From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (5 years 7 months 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 873 times:



Quoting Euclid (Reply 11):
Try going into a furniture store and ask them for a decaffeinated coffee table.

Good one!  rotfl 


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