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Vegetarian Date Etiquette  
User currently offlineLincoln From United States of America, joined Nov 2004, 3887 posts, RR: 8
Posted (6 years 1 week 3 hours ago) and read 2967 times:

I've arranged a date for this weekend, and I'm looking forward to it. She happens to be a vegetarian (not vegan, and I'm not sure if it's for health or ethical reasons). She knows I'm not vegetarian.

We're starting the evening with dinner at the niceish local restaurant that is very Vegetarian/Vegan friendly (my suggestion), however that restaurant also has a fine selection of dishes with meat and other animal products.

Given those facts, would it be rude on said date to be carniverous or should I stick to something meat free? I'm conflicted because I can come up with arguments for both sides.

Yes, I quickly Googled before coming here without getting anything remotely relevent. No, I'm not holding out much hope for getting a serious answer  Smile

Lincoln


CO Is My Airline of Choice || Baggage Claim is an airline's last chance to disappoint a customer || Next flts in profile
59 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineArmitageShanks From UK - England, joined Dec 2003, 3625 posts, RR: 15
Reply 1, posted (6 years 1 week 3 hours ago) and read 2961 times:

If you're on a date where you see yourself being with her for a while I'd order what you want as long as its not the "meat lovers beef extravaganza dinner."

Be honest with her and yourself about your lifestyle but don't shove it in her face. In the long run it will benefit you.

If she flips out (I doubt it), then you should see that as a red flag.


User currently offlineFLY2HMO From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (6 years 1 week 3 hours ago) and read 2958 times:

Quoting Lincoln (Thread starter):

Given those facts, would it be rude on said date to be carniverous or should I stick to something meat free?

My ex was a vegetarian as well, and she did it for mildly ethical reasons but mostly for health. she wouldn't push it on me and I would often eat a nice bloody piece of bovine muscle while she ate a hearty salad. So no problems there.

Just eat whatever you want. If she has a problem with it, then that'd be a good enough reason for not seeing her again, IMHO.

[Edited 2008-09-24 20:49:38]

User currently offlineIAirAllie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (6 years 1 week 2 hours ago) and read 2931 times:

You seem like a tolerant guy you are accomodating her wishes by selecting a veggie friendly establishment. Ask yourself do you want a relationship with someone who isn't tolerant of your dietary lifestyle? Order what you would normally eat unless you want to set a precedent. If she is a decent sorta gal she will be tolerant of you as well and will not let that be a deal breaker. My sister was veggie most of her life and dated many carniverous men.

User currently offlineGreggarious From United States of America, joined Jul 2007, 361 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (6 years 1 week 2 hours ago) and read 2916 times:



Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 3):
Order what you would normally eat unless you want to set a precedent.

This is, word for word, exactly what I was going to say. Go with a chicken dish and roll with it!


User currently offlineScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 56
Reply 5, posted (6 years 1 week 2 hours ago) and read 2915 times:

Agreed with the above - order what you want, although don't be over the top carnivorous. You've made a great gesture by going to a veggie friendly restaurant. You don't have to be (and shouldn't be) someone you aren't for your date.


But that was when I ruled the world
User currently offlineLincoln From United States of America, joined Nov 2004, 3887 posts, RR: 8
Reply 6, posted (6 years 1 week 2 hours ago) and read 2912 times:

Thanks for the advice, everyone, I will go forth confidently and eat... the place doesn't have a meat lover's beef extravaganza so I think I'm safe there Big grin


CO Is My Airline of Choice || Baggage Claim is an airline's last chance to disappoint a customer || Next flts in profile
User currently offlineShyFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (6 years 1 week 1 hour ago) and read 2902 times:



Quoting ArmitageShanks (Reply 1):
meat lovers beef extravaganza dinner




I really can't add much, but I will say from personal experience as long as both of you respect each other's dietary needs/concerns, everything will be cool.


User currently offlineHapppyLandings From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (6 years 1 week 1 hour ago) and read 2893 times:

My best quick advice.....

I have been a veggie for a while (not any more), some of my g/f's too...


They dont care if you eat meat or not usually. Take her somewhere classy and slightly exotic...

Sushi restaurant? a good mix of veggie or not... And dont be afraid to ask her why she is a veggie, most people like to tell their story...

And like any date (especially first) know the food, recommend something, be a bit of a connoisseur  Smile



Good Luck!


User currently offlineLTU932 From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 13864 posts, RR: 50
Reply 9, posted (6 years 1 week 1 hour ago) and read 2875 times:

Generally, from personal experience, vegetarians won't try to impose their believes on you, and are cool with what you eat as long as you don't try to make him or her eat meat. It's vegans with whom you should be careful.

User currently offlineKiwiinoz From New Zealand, joined Oct 2005, 2165 posts, RR: 5
Reply 10, posted (6 years 6 days 20 hours ago) and read 2809 times:

I don't think you should date a vegetarian. They are no where near as much fun.

"You can't make friends with salad!"


User currently offlineN328KF From United States of America, joined May 2004, 6489 posts, RR: 3
Reply 11, posted (6 years 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 2795 times:

I've dated a vegetarian in the past, and am married to one now. With the one I dated, she only cared when I kissed her after eating meat -- she wanted me to brush my teeth first! If I had just been eating veggies, she didn't care.

My wife doesn't care at all, and we're raising our daughter as an omnivore. It'll be her decision, later in life, though we both agreed to not disparage the other's food choices in front of the daughter My wife had been originally set on making sure our children were vegetarian, and I was all set to have a big argument about it, but one day she changed her mind.

Both of these women knew full well that I was an omnivore from the beginning.

-JPH



When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.' T.Roosevelt
User currently offlineWunala From Australia, joined Mar 2005, 950 posts, RR: 0
Reply 12, posted (6 years 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 2761 times:

I am vegetarian, my partner isn't, and I wouldn't worry about it. Perhaps stay clear of ordering something still dripping in blood on the first date, but otherwise, you are both there for a nice time.

Every so often we will go to a vege place, but as long as there is more than a choice of 1 thing, then I am happy. We know what we both like (after 10 years, you should!!!), and I have even been there videoing him when he has come back from his first open water fishing trip and was gutting the poor thing. He then bbq'ed it, and I was happy that he was happy, even thought that goes against the vege ideal.

As for mints and cleaning teeth, there are times when I have insisted on it, esp after rollmops or anything pickled.

Have a great date, and relax.


User currently offlineDocLightning From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 19794 posts, RR: 59
Reply 13, posted (6 years 6 days 18 hours ago) and read 2755 times:

I was a vegetarian for four years. I still rarely eat meat.

My advice: for dates on which you will pick up the tab, order what you want. When she is going to pick up the tab, stick to vegetarian.

HOWEVER, you should not be afraid to eat meat in front of her. If she acts disgusted or judgemental, then you have just learned that this is not the woman for you.

Having been a vegetarian, I have NO use for vegetarians/vegans who try to push their views on others.


User currently offlineN328KF From United States of America, joined May 2004, 6489 posts, RR: 3
Reply 14, posted (6 years 6 days 14 hours ago) and read 2704 times:



Quoting DocLightning (Reply 13):
My advice: for dates on which you will pick up the tab, order what you want. When she is going to pick up the tab, stick to vegetarian.

I think there is no need to hold back even when she is picking up the tab. Why bother?



When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.' T.Roosevelt
User currently offlineAndz From South Africa, joined Feb 2004, 8455 posts, RR: 10
Reply 15, posted (6 years 6 days 14 hours ago) and read 2698 times:
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She don't eat meat but she sure likes a bone... hopefully!  Smile


After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF...
User currently offlineN328KF From United States of America, joined May 2004, 6489 posts, RR: 3
Reply 16, posted (6 years 6 days 14 hours ago) and read 2687 times:



Quoting Andz (Reply 15):
She don't eat meat but she sure likes a bone... hopefully!

Ah, that reminds me of this:

New Age Girl



When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.' T.Roosevelt
User currently offlineCytz_pilot From United States of America, joined Dec 1999, 569 posts, RR: 0
Reply 17, posted (6 years 6 days 14 hours ago) and read 2664 times:



Quoting Lincoln (Thread starter):
Given those facts, would it be rude on said date to be carniverous or should I stick to something meat free?

No, not at all. If seeing others eat meat was a real problem for her, she probably wouldn't have agreed to the date.

My best advice as someone who is married to a vegan is to avoid items that look like the animals you're eating. She was at an event when she was 18 or so and got physically ill by the sight of family members cracking into a lobster.


User currently offlineN1120A From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 26536 posts, RR: 75
Reply 18, posted (6 years 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 2640 times:



Quoting Lincoln (Thread starter):

Given those facts, would it be rude on said date to be carniverous or should I stick to something meat free?

I wouldn't recommend being carnivorous, as humans are natural omnivores.  Wink

Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 3):
Ask yourself do you want a relationship with someone who isn't tolerant of your dietary lifestyle?

I think that is the best comment.

That said, I do think that if you are in a relationship with someone and one of the two has a problem with eating unhealthy food, it is the other's duty to speak up.



Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
User currently offlineMUWarriors From United States of America, joined May 2005, 291 posts, RR: 0
Reply 19, posted (6 years 6 days 12 hours ago) and read 2616 times:

My girlfriend is vegetarian, and at the beginning of the relationship I asked her if she had any problems with me eating meat in front of her. She said no problem, she wouldn't pust her diet on me if I didn't push mine on her. Most vegetarians are cool about this, it seems to be a lot more difficult when they are vegan. Just an anecdotal observation I have had. Over time in my relationship, however, I began to eat a largely vegetarian diet and have discovered many people who are in my same shoes. I'll eat meat when we go out, but at home it's about 95% vegetarian for me.

User currently offlineComorin From United States of America, joined May 2005, 4896 posts, RR: 16
Reply 20, posted (6 years 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 2600 times:

Lincoln,

I disagree humbly with the posts so far:

1. It's a first date.
2. Some vegetarians do find the sight and smell of red meat offensive.
3. If you order veggie, she will be touched and charmed - you'd have hit a home run.
4. She will also note your considerate behavior, and may say "Don't be silly, order the Prime Rib!".
5. If she says #4, then you have struck gold - the world is running out of kind people.
6. A first date is not there to prove a point, it's there to charm and win over the other person.


I used to live in Cleveland so you know I'm making sense  Wink


User currently offlineN1120A From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 26536 posts, RR: 75
Reply 21, posted (6 years 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 2597 times:



Quoting Comorin (Reply 20):

6. A first date is not there to prove a point, it's there to charm and win over the other person.

I think that can work both ways.

Quoting Comorin (Reply 20):

3. If you order veggie, she will be touched and charmed - you'd have hit a home run.

Either that or she will think you are trying too hard. Just be your self Lincoln. If you see something veg on the menu you like, order it. Otherwise, forget abou tit.



Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
User currently offlineCytz_pilot From United States of America, joined Dec 1999, 569 posts, RR: 0
Reply 22, posted (6 years 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 2591 times:



Quoting LTU932 (Reply 9):
It's vegans with whom you should be careful.



Quoting MUWarriors (Reply 19):
it seems to be a lot more difficult when they are vegan.

I think the reason for this is because most vegans have realized that the meat industry & the dairy & egg industry are basically linked (when cows stop producing milk and chickens stop laying eggs, they become meat), and so veganism is a choice that comes largely from ethical reasons, instead of from health or personal taste reasons. But how the person deals with those ethical issues, whether or not to accept that others don't choose that lifestyle decides whether they will be easy to get along with or whether they will go and throw red paint at KFC employees at a PETA rally.


User currently offlineN1120A From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 26536 posts, RR: 75
Reply 23, posted (6 years 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 2581 times:



Quoting Cytz_pilot (Reply 22):

I think the reason for this is because most vegans have realized that the meat industry & the dairy & egg industry are basically linked (when cows stop producing milk and chickens stop laying eggs, they become meat), and so veganism is a choice that comes largely from ethical reasons, instead of from health or personal taste reasons.

The majority of vegans I have known actually eat a rather unhealthy diet, which is unfortunate.



Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
User currently offlineLincoln From United States of America, joined Nov 2004, 3887 posts, RR: 8
Reply 24, posted (6 years 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 2571 times:

Quoting Comorin (Reply 20):



Quoting N1120A (Reply 21):
Either that or she will think you are trying too hard.

This is the internal debate that lead me to start this thread in the first place  

I'm not concerned so much with impressing her (it would, of course, be nice, but not at the expense of being someone other than myself), but I definately want her to be comfortable.

On one hand, she is a vegetarian and I feel like I need to respect that (and to an extent, I have by choosing a restaurant that I know is vegetarian friendly), on the other hand she didn't make a huge deal about it and I was upfront and told her that I wasn't a vegetarian (I think my exact words were "I hope it's not a turn-off, but I'm not a vegetarian") and she didn't react negatively. Also, she emphasised that she was vegetarian, not vegan which I took as her being more open. Most of the vegetarians I've meat are fairly cool, a lot of the vegans I've run into are downright scary.

I've considered just asking her "Hey, would you mind if I ordered a meat dish?" (depending on my mood, I may wind up ordering something like a salad anyway; I actually haven't been eating much on the meat side of things the past few weeks aside from pizza) but that strikes me as possibly giving off the "trying too hard" vibe [And I'm afraid the primo orchestra tickets I got may push me in that direction as it is*] and potentially putting her in an awkward situation depending on her reasons for being a vegetarian.

There's no prime rib on the menu, so thats a question that can be dodged; Comorin, I have a feeling you already know where I'm talking about especially if you're a CWRU alum, but for everyone else here's the menu: http://www.tommyscoventry.com/index2...enu=LunchDinner&menusection=Salads

Lincoln
(*- She's a musician; orchestra is US debuting a peice for the instrument she plays)

[Edited 2008-09-25 13:05:03]


CO Is My Airline of Choice || Baggage Claim is an airline's last chance to disappoint a customer || Next flts in profile
25 Luv2fly : A lot of vegetarians eat poultry and seafood, so I would order what you want be yourself, don't try to change to make someone like you.
26 N1120A : Those aren't really vegetarians.
27 Comorin : Boy do I miss Coventry! I love Cleveland and had some of the best food there. Good luck, Lincoln, hope it goes well!
28 DocLightning : Two reasons: 1) You don't want to force her to buy meat 2) Meat meals are usually more expensive than vegetarian meals. As a vegetarian, this bit alw
29 Luv2fly : Maybe I could have worded it better, less opposed to seafood and poultry.
30 Superfly : NO! Don't waste your money on an expensive place on a first date. She has to prove herself to you that she is worth spending more than $20 a plate ov
31 Post contains images Illini_152 : Two words- "Combat split" Don't like it? Tough shit; next time order a $25 glass of scotch to go with your salad. 'fly is right, set the tone on the
32 Lincoln : Thanks again to everyone who's chimed in here, it's really helping me to ease the concern and think through it... sad to say that this is my first tru
33 N1120A : If the date is successful, why not?
34 Lincoln : If it happens, it happens. If it feels 'right' I'm not going to stop it, but I'm not /planning/ on it though, especially since it is the first date.
35 Post contains links Luv2fly : Another place to consider is www.aladdinseatery.com very vegy friendly. Also bd's mongolian barbeque is a fun place for a date.
36 Lincoln : I thought about bd's -- I actually like it a lot -- but it doesn't really strike me as vegy friendly given that the first 10 feet is a buffet of meat
37 HapppyLandings : You are quite the Don Juan! lol On a side note. I am single now after 5 1/2 years. I came back to my condo 2 hours ago and I have no furniture, and m
38 Comorin : Lincoln, you sound like a really sensible guy! I think you should be giving advice instead of seeking it... Have fun...it's not a real estate closing
39 Luv2fly : Lincoln being vegy friendly does not mean hiding the meat, no pun intended. If she is not a member of PETA you should be fine. Stop worrying so much
40 TylerDurden : Nope. Silly to make a vegetarian suggestion if you are not one yourself--or have never had the vegetarian selections at the restaurant. Connoisseur o
41 Aaron747 : Not to be too crass here or anything but my line on vegetarians has always been this: If you have a problem with me eating meat, don't complain when I
42 HapppyLandings : A. I have been a Vegetarian for 3 years (not any more) and I am a very good cook. B. What is arrogant about knowing food and wine well?
43 DocLightning : No, if I'd been SkyGirl, I would have made your day. I just made your five minutes.
44 G-CIVP : I never see how these relationships would pan out with such contrasting views on food. I stand to be corrected. I'd give it best, depending how keen y
45 Superfly : I agree. Unless someone was part of a very strict religion/culture that mandates vegetarianism, there is no point in dating one. They are just clingi
46 N1120A : Ask LOT767-300ER, I ordered Veggie at Giordano's. Dude, 2 slices and I am done, and you have seen how much food I can eat.
47 Superfly : You did what?!?!
48 IAirAllie : Nothing. Assuming you know more than your date or the others around you is though. Not a problem to suggest something you tried before and enjoyed or
49 HapppyLandings : LOL.... I did not want to make it come off that way.. Like being an expert.... It is just good to know a little about everything
50 Lincoln : As I said earlier in a post that was deleted because another post I responded to was also deleted for some reason... If I already know about the subj
51 HapppyLandings : Best of luck!!!! 100% Make sure yu read the Tao of Steve
52 Lincoln : Ok, it is over and she made it incredibly easy, including a completely unplanned, unscripted, on-the-fly stop for dessert in Little Italy after the pe
53 Superfly : So you got laid? HaHa, just kidding. As long as she isn't preachy about her diet choice, then more power to you both.
54 DocLightning : We're rootin' for ya, Linc.
55 Post contains images ShyFlyer : I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you. Signed,
56 NWAESC : Same here, except it's me that's the vegetarian... When dad (me) cooks, my son is a vegetarian... When mom cooks, he's not.
57 DocLightning : Hey, Linc. You said you thought there might be a second date. We're waiting for your report.
58 Lincoln : She was interested, I am interested... Now it's just trying to coordinate schedules One of the options we had discussed probably won't be practical f
59 Asuflyer05 : Congrats Lincoln. You never want a girl who chews your meat before she swallows.[Edited 2008-10-06 20:07:34]
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