Lincoln From United States of America, joined Nov 2004, 3887 posts, RR: 8 Posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 3442 times:
I've arranged a date for this weekend, and I'm looking forward to it. She happens to be a vegetarian (not vegan, and I'm not sure if it's for health or ethical reasons). She knows I'm not vegetarian.
We're starting the evening with dinner at the niceish local restaurant that is very Vegetarian/Vegan friendly (my suggestion), however that restaurant also has a fine selection of dishes with meat and other animal products.
Given those facts, would it be rude on said date to be carniverous or should I stick to something meat free? I'm conflicted because I can come up with arguments for both sides.
Yes, I quickly Googled before coming here without getting anything remotely relevent. No, I'm not holding out much hope for getting a serious answer
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FLY2HMO From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 3433 times:
Quoting Lincoln (Thread starter):
Given those facts, would it be rude on said date to be carniverous or should I stick to something meat free?
My ex was a vegetarian as well, and she did it for mildly ethical reasons but mostly for health. she wouldn't push it on me and I would often eat a nice bloody piece of bovine muscle while she ate a hearty salad. So no problems there.
Just eat whatever you want. If she has a problem with it, then that'd be a good enough reason for not seeing her again, IMHO.
IAirAllie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 3406 times:
You seem like a tolerant guy you are accomodating her wishes by selecting a veggie friendly establishment. Ask yourself do you want a relationship with someone who isn't tolerant of your dietary lifestyle? Order what you would normally eat unless you want to set a precedent. If she is a decent sorta gal she will be tolerant of you as well and will not let that be a deal breaker. My sister was veggie most of her life and dated many carniverous men.
ScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 55
Reply 5, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 4 days 20 hours ago) and read 3390 times:
Agreed with the above - order what you want, although don't be over the top carnivorous. You've made a great gesture by going to a veggie friendly restaurant. You don't have to be (and shouldn't be) someone you aren't for your date.
LTU932 From Costa Rica, joined Jan 2006, 14286 posts, RR: 47
Reply 9, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 4 days 20 hours ago) and read 3350 times:
Generally, from personal experience, vegetarians won't try to impose their believes on you, and are cool with what you eat as long as you don't try to make him or her eat meat. It's vegans with whom you should be careful.
N328KF From United States of America, joined May 2004, 6610 posts, RR: 3
Reply 11, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 4 days 14 hours ago) and read 3270 times:
I've dated a vegetarian in the past, and am married to one now. With the one I dated, she only cared when I kissed her after eating meat -- she wanted me to brush my teeth first! If I had just been eating veggies, she didn't care.
My wife doesn't care at all, and we're raising our daughter as an omnivore. It'll be her decision, later in life, though we both agreed to not disparage the other's food choices in front of the daughter My wife had been originally set on making sure our children were vegetarian, and I was all set to have a big argument about it, but one day she changed her mind.
Both of these women knew full well that I was an omnivore from the beginning.
When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.' T.Roosevelt
Wunala From Australia, joined Mar 2005, 951 posts, RR: 0
Reply 12, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 4 days 12 hours ago) and read 3236 times:
I am vegetarian, my partner isn't, and I wouldn't worry about it. Perhaps stay clear of ordering something still dripping in blood on the first date, but otherwise, you are both there for a nice time.
Every so often we will go to a vege place, but as long as there is more than a choice of 1 thing, then I am happy. We know what we both like (after 10 years, you should!!!), and I have even been there videoing him when he has come back from his first open water fishing trip and was gutting the poor thing. He then bbq'ed it, and I was happy that he was happy, even thought that goes against the vege ideal.
As for mints and cleaning teeth, there are times when I have insisted on it, esp after rollmops or anything pickled.
Cytz_pilot From United States of America, joined Dec 1999, 569 posts, RR: 0
Reply 17, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 4 days 8 hours ago) and read 3139 times:
Quoting Lincoln (Thread starter): Given those facts, would it be rude on said date to be carniverous or should I stick to something meat free?
No, not at all. If seeing others eat meat was a real problem for her, she probably wouldn't have agreed to the date.
My best advice as someone who is married to a vegan is to avoid items that look like the animals you're eating. She was at an event when she was 18 or so and got physically ill by the sight of family members cracking into a lobster.
MUWarriors From United States of America, joined May 2005, 294 posts, RR: 0
Reply 19, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 4 days 6 hours ago) and read 3091 times:
My girlfriend is vegetarian, and at the beginning of the relationship I asked her if she had any problems with me eating meat in front of her. She said no problem, she wouldn't pust her diet on me if I didn't push mine on her. Most vegetarians are cool about this, it seems to be a lot more difficult when they are vegan. Just an anecdotal observation I have had. Over time in my relationship, however, I began to eat a largely vegetarian diet and have discovered many people who are in my same shoes. I'll eat meat when we go out, but at home it's about 95% vegetarian for me.
Comorin From United States of America, joined May 2005, 4909 posts, RR: 13
Reply 20, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 4 days 6 hours ago) and read 3075 times:
I disagree humbly with the posts so far:
1. It's a first date.
2. Some vegetarians do find the sight and smell of red meat offensive.
3. If you order veggie, she will be touched and charmed - you'd have hit a home run.
4. She will also note your considerate behavior, and may say "Don't be silly, order the Prime Rib!".
5. If she says #4, then you have struck gold - the world is running out of kind people.
6. A first date is not there to prove a point, it's there to charm and win over the other person.
I used to live in Cleveland so you know I'm making sense
I think the reason for this is because most vegans have realized that the meat industry & the dairy & egg industry are basically linked (when cows stop producing milk and chickens stop laying eggs, they become meat), and so veganism is a choice that comes largely from ethical reasons, instead of from health or personal taste reasons. But how the person deals with those ethical issues, whether or not to accept that others don't choose that lifestyle decides whether they will be easy to get along with or whether they will go and throw red paint at KFC employees at a PETA rally.
N1120A From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 29196 posts, RR: 73
Reply 23, posted (7 years 7 months 1 week 4 days 5 hours ago) and read 3056 times:
Quoting Cytz_pilot (Reply 22):
I think the reason for this is because most vegans have realized that the meat industry & the dairy & egg industry are basically linked (when cows stop producing milk and chickens stop laying eggs, they become meat), and so veganism is a choice that comes largely from ethical reasons, instead of from health or personal taste reasons.
The majority of vegans I have known actually eat a rather unhealthy diet, which is unfortunate.
Mangeons les French fries, mais surtout pratiquons avec fierte le French kiss
Quoting N1120A (Reply 21): Either that or she will think you are trying too hard.
This is the internal debate that lead me to start this thread in the first place
I'm not concerned so much with impressing her (it would, of course, be nice, but not at the expense of being someone other than myself), but I definately want her to be comfortable.
On one hand, she is a vegetarian and I feel like I need to respect that (and to an extent, I have by choosing a restaurant that I know is vegetarian friendly), on the other hand she didn't make a huge deal about it and I was upfront and told her that I wasn't a vegetarian (I think my exact words were "I hope it's not a turn-off, but I'm not a vegetarian") and she didn't react negatively. Also, she emphasised that she was vegetarian, not vegan which I took as her being more open. Most of the vegetarians I've meat are fairly cool, a lot of the vegans I've run into are downright scary.
I've considered just asking her "Hey, would you mind if I ordered a meat dish?" (depending on my mood, I may wind up ordering something like a salad anyway; I actually haven't been eating much on the meat side of things the past few weeks aside from pizza) but that strikes me as possibly giving off the "trying too hard" vibe [And I'm afraid the primo orchestra tickets I got may push me in that direction as it is*] and potentially putting her in an awkward situation depending on her reasons for being a vegetarian.