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A Message To America From Queen Elizabeth II  
User currently offline747438 From UK - England, joined Jan 2007, 837 posts, RR: 5
Posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 20 hours ago) and read 8912 times:

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your declining failure to handle your economy and to nominate competent candidates for President and thus to govern yourselves, We hereby give notice of the revocation of your Independence, effective immediately.(if necessary,look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)



Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will now resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Utah, which she does not fancy).



Your new Prime Minister, the same one who is our Prime Minister, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.



To aid in the return of your country to the status of a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:



-----------------------

1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will now spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (if necessary,look up 'vocabulary' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

------------------------

2. There is no such thing as U.S. English. English is the language we speak. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

-------------------

3. July 4th will be celebrated as a holiday in order to acknowledge the end of your unsuccessful 250 year experiment in independence.

-----------------

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready yet to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or spending hours with a therapist,then you're not ready to shoot grouse..

----------------------

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

----------------------

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side of the road with immediate effect. Using roundabouts while you learn to drive on the left may help you understand the British sense of humour.

----------------------
7. At the same time, all your forms of measurement will go metric with immediate effect. We had to do it 20 years ago and we discovered that it works better than the old imperial system anyway. However because your monetary system is already metric (you got that bit right) you will be permitted to maintain the dollar as your form of currency. We may however decide to brighten up those dull old green and black notes were some exciting new spring colours.

--------------------

8. Speaking of money however you will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been mistakenly calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

-------------------

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. Australian beer is also acceptable, as (based on their rather small population) they are the greatest sporting nation on earth and this can only be due to something they put in their beer. They are also still a part of the British Commonwealth - see what it has done for them.

American beer-type drinks will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that they can be sold without risk of further confusion until you get used to drinking proper beer.

---------------------

10. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having One's Royal ears removed with a cheese grater.

---------------------

11. You will cease playing that game that you call American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you (mistakenly) call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies)..

---------------------

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to hold an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

--------------------

13. You must tell us who killed JR. It's been driving us mad.

-----------------

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

---------------

15. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed with vinegar not with tomato sauce (which you mistakenly call catsup) .

-------------------

16. Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. Daily with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits ( which you mistakenly refer to as cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

106 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineAlias1024 From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 2745 posts, RR: 2
Reply 1, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 8881 times:

Dear Great Britain,

You have to apologize (with a 'z') for the Spice Girls and James Blunt before we will give attention to any communication from your nation. Upon receipt of apology, we will gladly acknowledge your notice, and promptly dispatch one Nimitz (again with a 'z') class aircraft carrier and accompanying battle group for a tour of the Thames river.



It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems with just potatoes.
User currently offlineBwest From Belgium, joined Jul 2006, 1366 posts, RR: 4
Reply 2, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 8852 times:



Quoting Alias1024 (Reply 1):
Dear Great Britain,

You have to apologize (with a 'z') for the Spice Girls and James Blunt before we will give attention to any communication from your nation. Upon receipt of apology, we will gladly acknowledge your notice, and promptly dispatch one Nimitz (again with a 'z') class aircraft carrier and accompanying battle group for a tour of the Thames river.

See point 4... (and 5)  Smile


Ah, if only the Brits would have kept their empire intact...  Wink



I love my Airport Job! :)
User currently offlineHowSwedeitis From Sweden, joined Jul 2007, 586 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 8851 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!



Quoting Alias1024 (Reply 1):
dispatch one Nimitz (again with a 'z') class aircraft carrier and accompanying battle group for a tour of the Thames river.

 rotfl 

Please add George Micheal and Boy George to that list as well, alias. On behalf of the United States, I suggest perhaps swapping, oh say, Florida. They can have it.

-HSII



Heja Sverige!!
User currently offlineAlias1024 From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 2745 posts, RR: 2
Reply 4, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 19 hours ago) and read 8846 times:



Quoting HowSwedeitis (Reply 3):
Please add George Micheal and Boy George to that list as well

Done.

As a good will gesture toward the British people, we in the United States agree to apologize for Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. Even we don't like them.



It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems with just potatoes.
User currently offlineOA260 From Ireland, joined Nov 2006, 26848 posts, RR: 58
Reply 5, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 18 hours ago) and read 8814 times:



Quoting 747438 (Thread starter):
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

LOL.....  rotfl   rotfl 


User currently offlineLevent From France, joined Sep 2004, 1718 posts, RR: 5
Reply 6, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 17 hours ago) and read 8768 times:

And the Dutch should get back New York and rename it once again into New Amsterdam...

User currently offlineRsg85 From Australia, joined Aug 2006, 257 posts, RR: 0
Reply 7, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 8747 times:

Im not having a go Lizzy buttt...... there needs to be some changes at home first

Quoting 747438 (Thread starter):
Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (if necessary,look up 'vocabulary' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Ohh and commonly used words in England like "innit" can be found in there? and will the USA have to use greetings commonly heard in England with poor grammer such as "are you right" the queens english is dead in England too, sorry Lizzy  confused 

Quoting 747438 (Thread starter):
You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists

Ahhh and revert to the current english conflict resolution methods of knifing each other? thanks for the tip Lizzy  bigthumbsup 

Quoting 747438 (Thread starter):
Australian beer is also acceptable, as (based on their rather small population) they are the greatest sporting nation on earth and this can only be due to something they put in their beer

She got something right  Wink


User currently offlineSpeedBirdA380 From United Kingdom, joined Jul 2008, 539 posts, RR: 2
Reply 8, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 8726 times:

Amusing post "747438" but I think you have opened up a can of worms with this one!

I am just waiting for the American response.

As my old school teacher taught me "Those in glass houses should not throw stones!"


User currently offlineBaroque From Australia, joined Apr 2006, 15380 posts, RR: 59
Reply 9, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 16 hours ago) and read 8704 times:



Quoting Bwest (Reply 2):
Quoting Alias1024 (Reply 1):
Dear Great Britain,

You have to apologize (with a 'z') for the Spice Girls and James Blunt before we will give attention to any communication from your nation. Upon receipt of apology, we will gladly acknowledge your notice, and promptly dispatch one Nimitz (again with a 'z') class aircraft carrier and accompanying battle group for a tour of the Thames river.

See point 4... (and 5) Smile


Ah, if only the Brits would have kept their empire intact...

You might get some way up the river on your tour if you arrive on a spring tide, but after that you would become (another) permanent exhibit.
At Woolwich the charted depth is about 6.5 metres. Add about 7.0 metres to get the depth of water at MHWS and 5.9 metres at MHWN.

There was a young ****** from Kew.
......glue
......grin
.......in
They'll pay to get out of it too!


User currently offlineLTBEWR From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 13033 posts, RR: 12
Reply 10, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 15 hours ago) and read 8653 times:

Yes, maybe in a return to the UK would end the horrible situaton of our Presidential Elections that take years and consume $1 Billions mostly in bribes. It could also mean if a leader is shown to be incompent(like GWB  duck  , they can be dismissed quickly and replaced in a matter of months, not have to either go thourgh a messy and cumbersome impeachment or have to wait for the next election.

User currently offlineLowrider From United States of America, joined Jun 2004, 3220 posts, RR: 10
Reply 11, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 8654 times:



Quoting 747438 (Thread starter):
except Utah, which she does not fancy

To be henceforth known as The United State of America?

Quoting 747438 (Thread starter):
All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side of the road with immediate effect.

This should go a long way towards reducing and overpopulation issues.

Quoting 747438 (Thread starter):
Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having One's Royal ears removed with a cheese grater.

That is your own fault. If you asked most Americans, they would have warned you not to watch.

The above mentioned tendency to resort to guns and violence to settle differences might make this a little difficult to enforce. You might want to start with a little smaller territory. Say, some islands in the South Atlantic?



Proud OOTSK member
User currently offlineKiwiRob From New Zealand, joined Jun 2005, 7119 posts, RR: 3
Reply 12, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 8643 times:



Quoting Lowrider (Reply 11):
Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having One's Royal ears removed with a cheese grater.

I wouldn't want to upset the applecart but Andie MacDowell was playing an American in Four Weddings and a Funeral.


User currently offlineDavehammer From United Kingdom, joined Nov 2007, 472 posts, RR: 0
Reply 13, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 8584 times:

I've seen this sent round the internet in many ways shapes or forms for the last year or so. It even has a group on Facebook with a fair few members on both sides of the Atlantic. And before anyone panics too much, it is a joke!

User currently offlinePhoenix9 From Canada, joined Aug 2007, 2546 posts, RR: 8
Reply 14, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 8557 times:



Quoting Davehammer (Reply 13):
And before anyone panics too much, it is a joke!

Oh thank you oh wise one...where would we feeble minded A.nutters be without your guidance and deelp insights.



Life only makes sense when you look at it backwards.
User currently offlineAllstarflyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 15, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 8551 times:

I thought speaking irresponsibily was Prince Phillip's job.  duck 

User currently offlineDougloid From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 16, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 8547 times:

B-b-but yer Royal Highness, what ever will you do about the continuing intrusions and impositions from the Colossus of the Great White North?

Why, they've been inflicting offenses like Leslie Feist, Avril Lavigne and Celine Dion on yr faithful petitioners for years. Don't that count as sonic pollution?


User currently offlineLowrider From United States of America, joined Jun 2004, 3220 posts, RR: 10
Reply 17, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 8543 times:



Quoting Dougloid (Reply 16):
the Colossus of the Great White North?

Doesn't that make you a Canuckaphobe?



Proud OOTSK member
User currently offlineDavehammer From United Kingdom, joined Nov 2007, 472 posts, RR: 0
Reply 18, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 8517 times:



Quoting Phoenix9 (Reply 14):
Oh thank you oh wise one...where would we feeble minded A.nutters be without your guidance and deelp insights.

Alright, calm down. I've seen very many responses to this elsewhere where a load of people have taken it very seriously and it's ended in a slanging match. I wasn't giving out 'deep guidance and insights' in order to condescend.


User currently offlineDougloid From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 11 hours ago) and read 8449 times:



Quoting Lowrider (Reply 17):
Quoting Dougloid (Reply 16):
the Colossus of the Great White North?

Doesn't that make you a Canuckaphobe?

If I was I'd be up against my maternal grandparents who were Gallaghers from Nova Scotia, eh?

On the other hand perhaps that was all part of a dev'lish Hoser plot to send their demon spawn to propagate amongst the naive and unsuspecting daughters and sons of rude backwoodsmen in places like New Jersey-succubi and incubi, in a word, to stoke an unquenchable addiction to maple syrup and Tim Horton's doughnuts and go to all those Celie Dion shows in Las Vegas...well, we're on to her, boyee, and we sent her packing.


 devil   devil   devil   stirthepot   stirthepot   stirthepot 


User currently offlineShyFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 10 hours ago) and read 8418 times:



Quoting SpeedBirdA380 (Reply 8):
I am just waiting for the American response.



 Big grin


User currently offlineDLPMMM From United States of America, joined Apr 2005, 3589 posts, RR: 10
Reply 21, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 8383 times:

Dear Queen Elizibeth II,

Come on now....say it.....Who's yer Daddy?

That's right!

Now let's tart you up and get you out on the corner where you belong!

Signed,

The USA


User currently offlineKL773ER From United Kingdom, joined Nov 2007, 200 posts, RR: 0
Reply 22, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 8 hours ago) and read 8321 times:



Quoting Levent (Reply 6):
And the Dutch should get back New York and rename it once again into New Amsterdam...

I whole heartedly agree along with the fact that Dutch should be reinstated as the official language of the land.

Signed,
KL773ER


User currently offlineDougloid From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 23, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 8262 times:



Quoting KL773ER (Reply 22):
Quoting Levent (Reply 6):
And the Dutch should get back New York and rename it once again into New Amsterdam...

I whole heartedly agree along with the fact that Dutch should be reinstated as the official language of the land.

Signed,
KL773ER

they can effing have it for all I care. It's a good place to dump their nuclear waste.


 grumpy   grumpy   grumpy 


User currently offlineBwest From Belgium, joined Jul 2006, 1366 posts, RR: 4
Reply 24, posted (5 years 9 months 2 weeks 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 8231 times:



Quoting KL773ER (Reply 22):
I whole heartedly agree along with the fact that Dutch should be reinstated as the official language of the land.

Agreed, but I insist on "southern" dutch, the one spoken in Flanders. Dutch from The Netherlands is just too sharp and painfull on the ears.



I love my Airport Job! :)
25 Cadet985 : Ask and ye shall receive... In the light of your dissatisfaction with the European Union, your bickering with European Governments (most notably the
26 Post contains links Vikkyvik : I'd say they should first apologize for ripping off a post from 3 years ago http://www.airliners.net/aviation-fo...ums/non_aviation/read.main/932212/
27 Dougloid : Driver: Constable, how do I get to Stratford-on-Avon? Constable: Welcome to Britain County, Texas, ma'am. It's just up the road a piece. It is a mite
28 SpeedBirdA380 : Ok point taken. In return please stop Hollywood's abomination of history and historical facts. A few examples are Braveheart and U-571. Agree with yo
29 SpeedBirdA380 : P.s We also tune in to laugh and chuckle at the fanfair of the thing you call the "Race for the Whitehouse" where big smiles, cheesy music and flag wa
30 ThreeFourThree : We don't want no queen anymore. Get off our money, courts and our Governor General Signed, The Country with Kangaroos jumping down the street, REPUBLI
31 SpeedBirdA380 : If you dont want her anymore then do something about it! Its no use keep moaning about having the British flag in the corner of your Australian flag
32 DLPMMM : Australia, We wouldn't know. No one here watched that piece of crap movie. We just made it for export because we know those foreign rubes will watch
33 Dougloid : Do you know how to say "Forty five" ThreeFourThree? Because that's how many years it's been since that movie was released. Fer chrissakes, get someth
34 RJ111 : Your granddad
35 Luv2cattlecall : I would go as far as to say we're more efficient as a society for removing unnecessary lettering - thus preventing incidences of carpal tunnel, which
36 WrenchBender : Finally someone with the wit and talent to respond effectively. It only took 25 replies WrenchBender
37 Baroque : This is the time to note that Mel Columcille Gerard Gibson was born in Peekskill NY. Cannot argue there SpeedBird, but you see as soon as the constit
38 Skidmarks : Damn Colonials playing up again? Send a gunboat! Or are they all in the Middle East subjugating the natives? Oh wait, we don't HAVE any gunboats. Damm
39 Moose135 : As if it were "granted" by the monarch. As I remember it, we opened a big can of whoopass on him at Yorktown...
40 DocLightning : No, SpeedBird, I've traveled far and wide and raised many a pint with my British mates. Fact is that as much as you guys crow on and on about your be
41 Vikkyvik : Eh, no worries. Just another thing to add to the long list of stuff the UK needs to apologize for.
42 DocLightning : No, SpeedBird, I've traveled far and wide and raised many a pint with my British mates. Fact is that as much as you guys crow on and on about your be
43 Skidmarks : Sorry, son, but America couldn't make a drinkable beer if they tried. I daresay you like camel urine. Personally I wouldn't touch the stuff (Fosters
44 DocLightning : Come to SF and we'll have a Fat Tire. And then an Anchor Steam. And then a bottle of Prohibition Ale. THAT'S beer. Don't ever mistake this "Budweiser
45 Alias1024 : You should visit Portland, Oregon. They have over 30 breweries producing world class beer. The city pretty much floats on a sea of Ales, IPAs, Porter
46 Baroque : Those shower controls you favour should be outlawed by the UN because the ON/OFF is mixed up with temp so you never have a clue what is going to desc
47 DocLightning : I have twin knobs on mine, homeslice. And you're Ozzie. You already submitted. You back off! Go eat a kangaroo or witchetty grub or something!
48 Skidmarks : Ooooooh, the colonials are arguing!!! Quick, sneak the SAS in to cripple their infrastructure while we take over using the Royal Family! I think Char
49 Baroque : There is such opposition to Charlie boy, the thought of him as KoA is getting quite attractive! And of course the best thing is Q C is really on the
50 Skidmarks : I should, I should. But I have a problem - she won't let me!! Andy
51 SpeedBirdA380 : Come on boys and girls lets stop all this bickering Doc Lightning I am sure you guys can make some great beer. In fact I am going to try and find and
52 Skidmarks : Bickering, and winding up the colonials is what life is all about. It's all good humoured (note the spelling) and all jolly good fun. Yep, boy have w
53 SpeedBirdA380 : I knew that one was coming.
54 Dougloid : Just one big happy dysfunctional family, methinks.
55 DocLightning : Have you BEEN to the U.S. lately? We don't need no steenkin' SAS to cripple our infrastructure. 8 years of Bush has taken care of that nicely. Infras
56 Skidmarks : You wait until the compulsory "Speak proper English" classes start, then you'll be "having a jolly good giggle" on the other side of your face! Andy
57 Nonrevman : So you want us back, your majesty? We should be able to work something out. However there are some assurances we will need: (1) We will need to adopt
58 DocLightning : I'm fine with this, but.. we're re-doing the Pound. Henceforth, there will be a 1p, 5p, 10p, and 25p coin. Then there will be £1, £2, £5, £10, £
59 SpeedBirdA380 : Sadly greed and corruption have spoiled some of the things this counrty used to be great at and I am guessing your country too.
60 Post contains links SpeedBirdA380 : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History...of_rail_transport_in_Great_Britain http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/London_Underground
61 Wingscrubber : Dear America, With respect, 'the rest of the world' does not drive on the right. Here is a list of countries and territories that drive on the same si
62 Lowrider : Yes, but here is the list of the countries that don't everybody else with motor vehicles. you might be out numbered on. They already speak the langua
63 SpeedBirdA380 : It would be intersteing to find out how many people drive on the left and how many drive on the right. But I guess with Russia,China,America and India
64 Post contains links ShyFlyer : They already have an embassy in London: http://www.texasembassy.com/
65 Post contains links Vikkyvik : India drives on the left. Here's a handy map: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:C...s_driving_on_the_left_or_right.svg To sum it up: Places with rig
66 Skidmarks : Bills are what utility companies send you, or what you settle in a restaurant. Notes are what the normal world uses as currency. Bills are also what
67 Baroque : Having Charles would be good for that proportion of Murcan citizens who after this next election will be feeling an intense desire to talk to trees a
68 ThrottleHold : ....and while you're all distracted bickering at each other, we Irish are secretly taking over the world!
69 Skidmarks : Until you get too pissed to stand up and then...................... Andy
70 Dougloid : Correct, Skiddy. It is said that God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world.
71 DocLightning : Do you want a Second Revolutionary War? We whupped you in the first one and we didn't have any fancy aircraft carriers and SSBN's for that one. Don't
72 Vc10 : Well there is gratitude because at the battle of Yorktown I believe it was your French which beat our Germans I think you will find there were more F
73 Skidmarks : Ah, how soon they forget their friends. As my good friend VC-10 says, if it wasn't for the French you wouldn't have HAD a first revolutionary war. An
74 SpeedBirdA380 : Yeah but those freedom fries sure taste better than the french ones. I would not tell your wife to worry about the cricket green's. The bombs will pr
75 Af773atmsp : So will BA takeover AA? But then Richard Branson will once again have the "no way BA and AA" campaign. What will happen to Minnesota? We might be a sm
76 DocLightning : No you aren't!
77 DocLightning : Wow, Skiddy, I didn't know you were into that kind of freaky, kinky stuff. Hmm, maybe you need to check out SF's Folsom Street Fair.
78 Skidmarks : You didn't know? Well, you'll soon find out Andy
79 DocLightning : OHBOYOHBOYOHBOYOHBOY!!!! Another few conditions of your takeover. A proper Fish & Chips joint must be installed within 15 minutes of all citizens wit
80 Skidmarks : Calm down, I'm as straight as a straight thing, just ever so slightly perverted Marmite (The correct way to spell that muck) will be compulsory eatin
81 DocLightning : OK. How can you NOT like maple syrup? It's only one of the best things ever. And we are SO not eating Marmuck. Don't understand how you lot can stoma
82 Af773atmsp : Dear Queen Elizabeth II, Us Americans tried so long to be strong but we finally lost. I expect there to be more rail service made in America as the Un
83 Baroque : But where will you get a supply of buses of such an ancient design? What are the plans to get to the root of the problem, so to speak, by exterminati
84 Skidmarks : Most of them drive around Crawley I believe! Lets stick to the original script here. I could rant for hours about the school run, Chelsea tractors an
85 DocLightning : Oooh! Chav hunting! I LOVE this game!
86 BHMNONREV : No need to hunt Andy, just pop in at the Tesco at Seacroft Centre in east Leeds and take your pick. Or the Asda on York Road works fairly well too...
87 Lowrider : Are there restictions on caliber? Is there a shotgun season? Can we use dogs? You might have a new tourist industry there.
88 DocLightning : A chav can only be truly killed by a bullet with a Burberry check painted on it.
89 Lowrider : No stakes through the heart, sunlight, or holy water then? Given their ability to multiply faster than rabbits, I wonder if a bounty could be establi
90 Skidmarks : Actually, once the revocation of independance has been ratified we then plan to ship all chavs - indeed, anyone found wearing Burberry baseball caps/
91 Lowrider : For a modest amount of money, you could establish a hunting preserve in, say, the Dakotas. Or if you wanted to more closely mimic their natural envir
92 Post contains images Alias1024 :
93 DocLightning : I'm starting to like this guy... However, NO CHAVS IN CALIFORNIA. Send them to Alaska and let Sarah Palin deal with them. Have you been to Detroit re
94 Lowrider : Actually, I have, I used to regularly visit DET and am familiar with the neighborhood, and at a previous company I was based at YIP and spent more ti
95 DocLightning : OK, genius, how we gonna keep the native wildlife out of the preserve? Put up a signs facing inwards that say that there is no Burberry available bey
96 Lowrider : If an idea is stupid, but it works, then its not stupid.
97 DocLightning : You'd have to. They can't be good eating. They're either too wiry or too fatty. And all the tobacco and alcohol consumption can't lend a good taste t
98 Lowrider : Print bumper stickers and put that on all the cars in physician parking spaces? Or is that too juvenile? At least you didn't say sell them to pharmac
99 DocLightning : No no no. They need HEALTHY subjects.
100 WunalaYann : At the moment it's not doing much against the Indians... You mean "mandatory", right? Boag's all the way, mate. And the fattest. Go figure. Some of t
101 DocLightning : That's funny. Every time I've thrown that toast out in a pub in England (in the thickest Michigan accent I can muster) it always gets a lackluster re
102 Skidmarks : A) We don't make a fuss about such things and B) The clientele of the pubs you went in were obviously migrant workers and didn't speak English anyway
103 SpeedBirdA380 : Not surprised with the amount of taxpayers money she and her family get through..... And now shes whining she does not have enough money. Im not surp
104 Brilondon : Alias1024 From [/quote] We really don't want Americas wang but it would be a good place for all the yellow water the Americans call beer. Actually you
105 Dougloid : Arghhhhhhh! Curses! Foiled once again by Canadian deviousness. I know! We'll export more SPAM and cheese puffs! When the Canadians are terminally obe
106 DocLightning : Been to Canada lately? The plan is already working well. It's working well in England, too.
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