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"Should I Be Scared [to Fly]" I Chewed Her Out  
User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2417 posts, RR: 3
Posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 3373 times:

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, Mods please move it if it is. Thank you!

I was having a conversation with an acquaintance a few hours ago (I don't really want to call her a "friend"). To give a little bit of a background, she is 20 years old but is mentally 14, or 15. She's not into parties but had not clue what is going around her (Eg: there was a debate and I am sure doesn't know there is an election or that the economy is not in the best of shape). Very immature for her age and somewhat annoying. Anyways, she was telling me how she is going to FL in March and said it will be her first time on a plane. She then asked me "Should I be scared?" This was a tone of "I'll probablay die". I know I went a little crazy at this question because I am an aviation enthusist and I fly all the time. I sarcastically answered "yes" and contineud to tell her that she should be scared "because planes are very unsafe". She asked why I fly all the time and I told her I am a risk taker. I get joy out of it. She said that she still wants to go on vacation and will be taking that risk cause she has to live life.

After a few minutes, I told her that I was being sarcastic (well I said joking around, I am sure she'd ask for a definition of sarcastic) and said that planes are very safe and it was pretty pointless to ask a guy that loves airplanes if she should be scared.

Please do your best not to flame me but I wanted to share that story with you. Was a extremely out of line for doing what I did? Has this happened to you? How did you handle it and what could I have done better? Should've just told her no and that she will be very safe.  duck   sarcastic 

19 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineDeltaAVL From United States of America, joined Mar 2007, 1893 posts, RR: 6
Reply 1, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 3342 times:



Quoting KLM672 (Thread starter):
Was a extremely out of line for doing what I did? Has this happened to you? How did you handle it and what could I have done better? Should've just told her no and that she will be very safe.

You probably would have been better off just telling her that planes are safe. Some people have legitimate fears of flying that shouldn't be taken lightly. Just sayin'.  Smile



"We break, We bend, With hand in hand, When hope is gone, Just hang on." -Guster
User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2417 posts, RR: 3
Reply 2, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 3307 times:

Yeah I know but it just erks me... she erks me some of the stuff she comes out with I guess. I think (and I hate to say this), if it was someone different, more mature then it would've went down differently.

User currently onlineGoldenshield From United States of America, joined Jan 2001, 5845 posts, RR: 15
Reply 3, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 3307 times:

I have to agree. If you knew or suspected that she might not have been mature enough to handle even a sarcastic answer, then saying something that she was ultimately expecting from her question was not the correct course of action.


Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.
User currently offlineLTBEWR From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 12878 posts, RR: 12
Reply 4, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 8 hours ago) and read 3236 times:

Just use facts: she would probably have a much greater risk of being killed while driving or being a passanger in a car over the same distance; that while a/c accidents do happen, they are extremely rare but do get media attention more than their everyday 'no problems' operations. She may have phobias about being in a confined space like an a/c where she cannot leave.

User currently offlineB6JFKH81 From United States of America, joined Mar 2006, 2848 posts, RR: 7
Reply 5, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 3233 times:



Quoting KLM672 (Thread starter):
Was a extremely out of line for doing what I did? Has this happened to you? How did you handle it and what could I have done better? Should've just told her no and that she will be very safe.

Dude, I wouldn't say you were EXTREMELY out of line on this one.  no 

I am a rude S.O.B. from NY, and my day isn't complete unless I screw with someone. However, It depends on the type of person you are going to "screw it" to that makes a difference. Based on your description, the girl isn't the brightest bulb hanging on the chandelier. In my mind, there are 3 different groups that fall into this category:

- Those who are mentally handicapped
- Those who are a little slow (simple-minded, so to speak) or have a phobia
- Those who are mentally fit and don't put in any effort to be such, thus actually have the appearance of being "simple-minded" and have other folks do stuff for them and pay extra attention to them.

The first two groups can't help it, that is the way they were created. The last group I know quite a bit about...I grew up with A LOT of them in my town. Your "acquaintance" sounds like she falls into the last category. (I never met the girl, so please stop me if I am wrong here.) In which case, she is using her ignorance and laziness to understand things such as mass transportation to put the spotlight on her by saying that she is so clueless that she needs someone to fill her in and baby and pamper her to tell her it will be okay. If I got that feeling when speaking to someone...yeah I would have royally f***ed with them too.  devil 

Now if it was someone that was legitimately a little on the slow side, or had a legitimate fear of flying, I would approach the situation differently. On of my secretaries at my side job is a little simple minded. The sweetest lady you will ever meet, but a lot of stuff goes over her head. If she were to ask me this question, I would give her an answer and not mess with her. My mother-in-law has legitimate phobias after 9/11 (she basically thinks that terrorists are going to get here wherever she is) and it was greatly interfering with her life. A woman in her 50's should be able to leave the house and go to the market, or see her grand-kids, etc. But her phobias kept her from doing so until she asked me the possibilities of something happening if she went to see her daughter in NJ and took the train to do it. I gave her straight-forward information and she can now see her grandson whenever she wants by taking the train (although she will not drive herself because she has to cross the Varrenzano Bridge and pass JFK airport on the Belt Pkwy). These are both situations where I wouldn't mess with the person...to me it wouldn't be right.  angel 

Just my  twocents 



"If you do not learn from history, you are doomed to repeat it"
User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2417 posts, RR: 3
Reply 6, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 3219 times:

No, I don't think its a fear of flying, I think its more of the unknown. She assumes that they are unsafe based on zero facts. I like said in my post, I don't think she's one to watch the news so its not like she's referring to any crashes or whatever. I know she was going to be because I like airplanes and i've flown often but what did she expect me to say? On messenger, she is the type of person that'll say "LMAO" to every sentence and I bet her mom still lays out her clothes for her in the morning.

User currently offlineSlider From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 6661 posts, RR: 35
Reply 7, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 3170 times:

Let me guess...

She doesn't eat meat because she's a veterinarian and she's voting Democratic because we live in a Democracy, right? LOL

She sounds like a moron, no matter the ignorance about flying. No offense.


User currently offlineScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 56
Reply 8, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 3156 times:

She might be a moron, but that was a bit of an arsehole thing for you to do to her. She's never flown before...you should have (very briefly) told her the facts. Then, if she's still being dumb about it, that's when you mess with her.


But that was when I ruled the world
User currently offlineDesertJets From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 7737 posts, RR: 16
Reply 9, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 3133 times:



Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 8):
She might be a moron, but that was a bit of an arsehole thing for you to do to her. She's never flown before...you should have (very briefly) told her the facts. Then, if she's still being dumb about it, that's when you mess with her.

I agree with Scarlet, though I may have used slightly stronger words.... but you asked not to be flamed so I'll be nice. Even though she is mentally immature she came to you about alleviating her fears of flying because she must have known you fly a lot and can explain what flying is like.

Your answer should have been, "well it is natural to be afraid of flying but... " and this is where you go into explaining how safe it is and what to expect. Likely she would have understood this and appreciated you taking your time to explain everything.



Stop drop and roll will not save you in hell. --- seen on a church marque in rural Virginia
User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2417 posts, RR: 3
Reply 10, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 3118 times:

Yeah, I know. I guess it was her phrasing. "Should I be scared?"

User currently offlinePhoenix9 From Canada, joined Aug 2007, 2546 posts, RR: 8
Reply 11, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 3104 times:



Quoting KLM672 (Reply 10):
I guess it was her phrasing. "Should I be scared?"

Just tell her that TSA agents will be doing a 'full body cavity search' on her before she boards the plane while flying itself will be safe.  stirthepot   devil 



Life only makes sense when you look at it backwards.
User currently offlineANITIX87 From United States of America, joined Mar 2005, 3292 posts, RR: 13
Reply 12, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 3090 times:
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Quoting DeltaAVL (Reply 1):
You probably would have been better off just telling her that planes are safe. Some people have legitimate fears of flying that shouldn't be taken lightly.

Like me. I would have hated if someone told me flying was unsafe when I was first afraid. My situation was a bit different in that I was an aviation fan before I developed my fear of flying, so I've known since the on-set that it's silly, but it may have been a bit too harsh to approach her question like that.

Quoting KLM672 (Reply 2):
if it was someone different, more mature then it would've went down differently.

Why? Why would is have GONE down differently if it WERE someone else? How would you have answered the question from a 14 year old? What about from a 40 year old? Why act differently with her just because she's immature. A lack of maturity is based on actions, not knowledge. Ignorance is a different thing, but sometimes it's based on upbringing or other things.

Quoting KLM672 (Reply 6):
She assumes that they are unsafe based on zero facts.

Except I'm sure that she hears about plane crashes, and this year hasn't exactly been a great year in terms of sheer number of accidents. It's perfectly plausible for her to ask the question. Notice she didn't say, "Why do people fly since it's so unsafe?" She didn't assume it was, she was just asking for reassurance.

TIS



www.stellaryear.com: Canon EOS 50D, Canon EOS 5DMkII, Sigma 50mm 1.4, Canon 24-70 2.8L II, Canon 100mm 2.8L, Canon 100-4
User currently offlineTranceport From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 282 posts, RR: 1
Reply 13, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 5 hours ago) and read 3078 times:

You were a jerk.

Put yourself in any scenario where you face something unknown and have any apprehensions or anxieties about it. What information do you need or want to feel okay or look forward to what you're going to experience?


User currently offlineIAirAllie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 4 hours ago) and read 3045 times:



Quoting KLM672 (Reply 10):
I guess it was her phrasing. "Should I be scared?"

I'm not sure why this phrasing should set you off. It's obviously phrased to garner some reassureance. You should have just given it to her. A good friend would have also helped her with pointers on travel and would have helped her understand what to expect during her travels (ie security, on the plane, check in and baggage claim) .

I'm not clear why you are friends with someone you have such contempt for?


User currently offlineKLM672 From United States of America, joined Oct 1999, 2417 posts, RR: 3
Reply 15, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 4 hours ago) and read 3020 times:

Nah, we aren't friends, I said that in my first post.

Quoting KLM672 (Thread starter):
I was having a conversation with an acquaintance a few hours ago (I don't really want to call her a "friend").



User currently offlinePSA727 From United States of America, joined Feb 2006, 974 posts, RR: 0
Reply 16, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 2994 times:



Quoting KLM672 (Reply 15):
Nah, we aren't friends, I said that in my first post.

Maybe you should have asked her what her fears were based upon, and then answered
her in that regards. Do you not think that when people respond to her questions the way
you did, it makes her less likely to ask them; thus preventing her from learning something
and moving further away from the "dumbness" others preceive her to have?



fly high, pay low...Germanwings!
User currently offlineAf773atmsp From United States of America, joined Aug 2006, 2633 posts, RR: 1
Reply 17, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 5 days 3 hours ago) and read 2993 times:

My friends ask questions about aviation to me (one of my friends asked why doesn't NW operate an A380 from Minneapolis to London?). I'm never sarcastic when my friends ask me these kinds of questions because I know they don't know much about aviation as I do.


It ain't no normal MD80 its a Super 80!
User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31573 posts, RR: 57
Reply 18, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 4 days 12 hours ago) and read 2816 times:

I once Explained to my cousin who flew down from BLR to BOM on how a JT8D Engine was held on a B732 airframe by just Three nuts.
He returned back to BLR by Road  Smile

I try to tell people the facts & back it up with statistics.We all know Aviation is very safe & the built in reliability of the systems is responsible for that too.

regds
MEL



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineHowSwedeitis From Sweden, joined Jul 2007, 586 posts, RR: 0
Reply 19, posted (5 years 5 months 3 weeks 4 days 12 hours ago) and read 2815 times:
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Quoting KLM672 (Thread starter):
I know I went a little crazy at this question because I am an aviation enthusiast and I fly all the time.

Hahahaha!!! I get that all the time! People react as if your the irrational one because you fly so much. I always say the same thing to people who tell me their afraid to fly. "Your more likely to die suffocating on your food, than you are in an airplane."*

(*True fact.)

-HSII



Heja Sverige!!
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