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Texting Vs. Calling Someone You Just Met  
User currently offlineRGElectra80 From United States of America, joined Dec 2008, 361 posts, RR: 0
Posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 10689 times:

Until this summer, I had been with the same girl for almost 2.5 years. Before we met and eventually started dating, text messaging wasn't really that widespread as it is now.

Today I met someone that I'll eventually contact but I was wondering, is calling still the way to go or is texting acceptable as a 1st contact method these days? Or do you start out texting, then eventually call them? Is waiting two days to call/text still the industry standard? I have been out of the game for a while so I thought I'd ask.

Thanks!


Feel free to check out my Flight Diary: flightdiary.net/alenart
21 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineAirPortugal310 From Palau, joined Apr 2004, 3622 posts, RR: 2
Reply 1, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 10690 times:



Quoting RGElectra80 (Thread starter):
Today I met someone that I'll eventually contact but I was wondering, is calling still the way to go or is texting acceptable as a 1st contact method these days? Or do you start out texting, then eventually call them? Is waiting two days to call/text still the industry standard? I have been out of the game for a while so I thought I'd ask.

I am split on the issue.

Its good to use "technology" to find out more information before you get further into things...

on the other hand...

One of my "ex's" (if shes worthy of being called that) used it too much and lost the ability to effectively communicate unless it was thru BB messenger...which basically ended the thing

Use wisely my friend...it can work out nicely but see my example...it can make a good thing turn sour.



I sell airplanes and airplane accessories
User currently offlineGSOShutout55 From United States of America, joined Feb 2006, 126 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 10681 times:

I like to call first...shows class. I feel free to text after a decent in person relationship has been established.


B200/Ce500 Pilot
User currently offlineDougloid From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 10676 times:

I think you need to write a letter to Ann Landers if you can't figure this out, son.

Faint heart never won fair lady-

or as John Donne had it

"He who does not propose the right true end of love
Goes to sea but for to make himself sick."


User currently offlineFutureSDPDcop From United States of America, joined Feb 2006, 1293 posts, RR: 5
Reply 4, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 10665 times:

If I go out with the boys to the bar or something and I meet a girl and get her number, I'll usually shoot a "It was nice meeting you tonight" type of text. That usually leads to conversation via text that night which can be followed up with a "good morning" text the following morning. Gives you a chance to talk the second day via text.

I usually just chat via text for the first couple of days. I usually call when I want to hang out.

This is just my advice coming from a guy who texts 5,000+ messages a month.


User currently offlineGSOShutout55 From United States of America, joined Feb 2006, 126 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 4 days ago) and read 10649 times:

You text a lot more than I do. I used to rely more often on texting, but I found much better results calling. Its easier to start calling her than it is to start after texting, at least for me. Bottom line If I liked the girl, I called, if i wanted ass, i texted.


B200/Ce500 Pilot
User currently offlineSmcmac32msn From United States of America, joined May 2004, 2211 posts, RR: 4
Reply 6, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 4 days ago) and read 10641 times:

Me and my current girlfriend (coming up on 2 years) texted and talked online for nearly a year before we started dating. That included when she was in Spain on a class trip, we didn't start calling eachother on a regular basis until 2-3 weeks after we started dating, as we were both super shy.


Hey Obama, keep the change! I want my dollar back.
User currently offlineVikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 9946 posts, RR: 26
Reply 7, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 3 days 22 hours ago) and read 10598 times:
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Keep in mind when reading this that I absolutely abhor text messaging. I wouldn't do it at all if my friends didn't all text me. I was terribly upset that I had to add a text messaging plan to my cellphone bill......and I only added it because the number of texts I was receiving and sending was costing way more than adding the plan does.

Anyway, I'll keep it short and simple:

If you want to ask her out on a date or whatever, call her.

If you're interested in her and want to talk to her, call her.

If you don't really want to talk to her, aren't really interested in her, and just want idle "conversation", then text message her.

Technology is all well and good, but at some point, it's beneficial to speak to a real human being. In person is the best, but at least on the phone you can hear how they're saying what they're saying. All that important inflection is lost through electronic messaging.



"Two and a Half Men" was filmed in front of a live ostrich.
User currently offlineAjd1992 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 8, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 10540 times:

Call, Call Call....

Shows you aren't lazy or anything. Calling is more personal too, but that's just my opinion. Plus as well, if she notices (which she will, she's a woman and they notice everything  Wink) then it'll be good for man points in your case too.


User currently onlineBraybuddy From Ireland, joined Aug 2004, 5688 posts, RR: 32
Reply 9, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 10514 times:

TEXT! Calling could put her in an awkward position to make a decision to meet up, which she might not appreciate. It also shows a certain eagerness on your part, so unless you want to convey that impression, a casual text is far better. It gives you time to work out exactly what you want to say, with room for a subtle hint of interest if you wish. Also, it gives her time to formulate a reply, which should eliminate the risk of misinterpretation on your part. Also, the time taken for her to reply is a good indcator of how interested she is.

User currently offlineKmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 7
Reply 10, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 10440 times:

From a female perspective....CALL. Texting is impersonal, lazy and classless. If you call, it shows class...plus you get the bonus of hearing her voice when she realizes it's you. You can then better gauge how enthusiastic she is about seeing you! You can't insert subtle vocal nuances into a text message....especially if it's full of stupid abbreviations like many texts that I get...


'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
User currently onlineBraybuddy From Ireland, joined Aug 2004, 5688 posts, RR: 32
Reply 11, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 10424 times:



Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 10):
From a female perspective....

I asked three women in work the question and two said "call", one said "text". I suppose it comes down to individual preferences, which RGElectra80 would need to be a mind-reader to know.

The two who said "call" said pretty much what you said, Kmh, but the one who preferred text said it would give her time to think about how she wanted to respond.

Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 10):
You can't insert subtle vocal nuances into a text message....

Have to disagree here: texting is a wonderful way of communication, with its own etiquette and which is completely different from any other form. Even if you do use textspeak, which I abhor (capitals and colons are more my style), you can still insert all kinds of subtle hints and nuances. Which one of us hasn't looked at a completed text and edited it before sending, say adding or subtracting an X? And timing is crucial: if RGElectra80 sent a text and received a reply within minutes, the girl would probably be buying the wedding dress before 2009. If she waits overnight to reply, he can forget it, unless she apologises profusely for being on hospitalised, imprisioned or on holidays, but if a "beep beep" comes through an hour or so later, he's on a winner.


User currently offlineIAirAllie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 10413 times:



Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 10):
From a female perspective....CALL. Texting is impersonal, lazy and classless.

All due respect Kelly but there might be a generational thing here. As a younger female I completely disagree.

I find a quick text at the end of the night or first thing in the morning is nice. A "had fun meeting you" or a flirty little joke sent via text is great. It's less threatening and intimidating than a phone call right away. I'll expect a call later though if you want it to go anywhere.

A text is a great ice breaker. I'm one of those girls who needs to get to know you a little before I feel comfortable going out with you. I like it when a guy texts me with an invite to a group event or party. It lets me know he's interested, wants to hang out with me and gives me an opportunity to get to know him better without the pressure of a formal date.


User currently offlineVikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 9946 posts, RR: 26
Reply 13, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 10415 times:
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Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 11):
Even if you do use textspeak, which I abhor (capitals and colons are more my style), you can still insert all kinds of subtle hints and nuances.

She said vocal nuances.

You can insert anything you want into an email or text message. You still don't get the same inflection and nuance you do from hearing/seeing someone speak.



"Two and a Half Men" was filmed in front of a live ostrich.
User currently onlineBraybuddy From Ireland, joined Aug 2004, 5688 posts, RR: 32
Reply 14, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 10390 times:



Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 13):
You still don't get the same inflection and nuance you do from hearing/seeing someone speak.

Probably, but you are talking about two completely different forms of communication here, each one with its advantages. Read IAirAllie's post above: I think she hits the nail exactly on the head. People get fired or dumped now by text, which may or may not be a good thing. I often think that people on the receiving end in such situations are more peeved by the deed rather than the method, and blame the method as a face-saver.

You have to remember that a generation is growing up to which text is the preferred form of communication in certain circumstances (again see IAirAllie's post). I read an article recently concerning teenagers and their almost umbilical attachment to their mobiles, and one of them asked the interviewer how he asked for a date when he was young. He replied, of course, that he went up to the girl and asked her. The reply? A simple "Eeeuw".


User currently offlineKmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 7
Reply 15, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 10378 times:



Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 12):
but there might be a generational thing here

It's got to be generational, as I find that most of teh social niceties that I was taught while growing up seem to have completely disappeared...phone calls instead of texts, hand-written thank you notes instead of emails (if written at all), actually responding to a request for RSVP...
It's dreadfully sad that technology has taken over our lives so completely that nobody wants to take the time to make a phone call or write a letter.

I stand by my assertion, however, that a phone call is better than a text any day.



'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
User currently offlineVikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 9946 posts, RR: 26
Reply 16, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 10374 times:
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Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 14):

Understood.

Trust me, I'm only 26 - many of my own generation are extremely dependent on their phones - and people only a few years younger than I am have had cell phones since they were in middle school.

I suppose you could say I am dependent on my cell phone, too, in a way, as I don't have a landline.

I didn't get a cell phone until 2003 or so - years after just about all of my peers had them. To this day, I still despise the stupid thing. It annoys me to no end that everyone at work has my cell phone number, and can therefore reach me when I'm out on the golf course or wherever.

Don't get me wrong - I'm on email just about all day. It's a great way to stay in touch with people, and send out random funny links or messages. But if I want to reach you for something important, I'll call you. And I'll (generally) expect you to do the same. Because I'm not always on email, and I don't always pay much attention to text messages.

Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 15):

I stand by my assertion, however, that a phone call is better than a text any day.

Agreed with that.



"Two and a Half Men" was filmed in front of a live ostrich.
User currently offlineAsuflyer05 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 2371 posts, RR: 3
Reply 17, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 3 days 3 hours ago) and read 10362 times:

The obvious answer is to call. All you have to do is take the same questions and apply it to another situation.

Example.

I met a girl. She's hot. I really want to sleep with her...Now! Should I call or text her?

Catch my drift?


User currently offlineRGElectra80 From United States of America, joined Dec 2008, 361 posts, RR: 0
Reply 18, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 10311 times:



Quoting Dougloid (Reply 3):

Who needs her when you have A.net? Big grin

Thanks for all the interesting responses guys and girls.

I'm going to try texting and see how it works.



Feel free to check out my Flight Diary: flightdiary.net/alenart
User currently offlineFLY2HMO From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 2 days 12 hours ago) and read 10291 times:

I'm 50/50 on this. I will say that with my ex pretty much all the initial flirting was done via text but within a week we were calling each other several times a day. And every morning we'd text each other good morning and later in the night good night, from day one. As far as communication goes, she was really good and reliable in that regard. Mind you, this was a long distance thing, so use in moderation if distance is not a factor. And as always, it depends on the girl.

If she's like my ex and responds immediately to your texts, and with pretty long replies, and never misses one, then she's definitely a good girl to be texting with (for initial flirting only, man up and call eventually!). But if she's the type that takes forever to reply and is very vague with her responses, then she either a) isn't the type you want to text or b) isn't that into you and probably wont be.

Quoting FutureSDPDcop (Reply 4):
If I go out with the boys to the bar or something and I meet a girl and get her number, I'll usually shoot a "It was nice meeting you tonight" type of text. That usually leads to conversation via text that night which can be followed up with a "good morning" text the following morning.

I'd second that. From my experience girls seem to really like the random good morning texts and I've heard lots of other girls say how they think it's cute. But use it in moderation.

Quoting RGElectra80 (Reply 18):
I'm going to try texting and see how it works.

I'd say limit texting to flirting for now but be sure to call her eventually if things start to warm up.

At any rate good luck with this woman. You'll need it.


User currently offlineRussianJet From Belgium, joined Jul 2007, 7702 posts, RR: 21
Reply 20, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 2 days 9 hours ago) and read 10271 times:
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Call. Speak to the girl.

Good luck.



✈ Every strike of the hammer is a blow against the enemy. ✈
User currently offlineAirPortugal310 From Palau, joined Apr 2004, 3622 posts, RR: 2
Reply 21, posted (5 years 8 months 2 weeks 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 10222 times:



Quoting Asuflyer05 (Reply 17):
I met a girl. She's hot. I really want to sleep with her...Now! Should I call or text her?

Its true, but depending on the kind of person you are, it can work out both ways...

the email/text thing worked for me  Wink



I sell airplanes and airplane accessories
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