RGElectra80 From United States of America, joined Dec 2008, 358 posts, RR: 0 Posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 8710 times:
Until this summer, I had been with the same girl for almost 2.5 years. Before we met and eventually started dating, text messaging wasn't really that widespread as it is now.
Today I met someone that I'll eventually contact but I was wondering, is calling still the way to go or is texting acceptable as a 1st contact method these days? Or do you start out texting, then eventually call them? Is waiting two days to call/text still the industry standard? I have been out of the game for a while so I thought I'd ask.
Thanks!
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AirPortugal310 From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 3070 posts, RR: 2 Reply 1, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 8711 times:
Quoting RGElectra80 (Thread starter): Today I met someone that I'll eventually contact but I was wondering, is calling still the way to go or is texting acceptable as a 1st contact method these days? Or do you start out texting, then eventually call them? Is waiting two days to call/text still the industry standard? I have been out of the game for a while so I thought I'd ask.
I am split on the issue.
Its good to use "technology" to find out more information before you get further into things...
on the other hand...
One of my "ex's" (if shes worthy of being called that) used it too much and lost the ability to effectively communicate unless it was thru BB messenger...which basically ended the thing
Use wisely my friend...it can work out nicely but see my example...it can make a good thing turn sour.
GSOShutout55 From United States of America, joined Feb 2006, 120 posts, RR: 0 Reply 2, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 8702 times:
I like to call first...shows class. I feel free to text after a decent in person relationship has been established.
FutureSDPDcop From United States of America, joined Feb 2006, 1291 posts, RR: 5 Reply 4, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 2 hours ago) and read 8686 times:
If I go out with the boys to the bar or something and I meet a girl and get her number, I'll usually shoot a "It was nice meeting you tonight" type of text. That usually leads to conversation via text that night which can be followed up with a "good morning" text the following morning. Gives you a chance to talk the second day via text.
I usually just chat via text for the first couple of days. I usually call when I want to hang out.
This is just my advice coming from a guy who texts 5,000+ messages a month.
GSOShutout55 From United States of America, joined Feb 2006, 120 posts, RR: 0 Reply 5, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 8670 times:
You text a lot more than I do. I used to rely more often on texting, but I found much better results calling. Its easier to start calling her than it is to start after texting, at least for me. Bottom line If I liked the girl, I called, if i wanted ass, i texted.
Smcmac32msn From United States of America, joined May 2004, 2211 posts, RR: 5 Reply 6, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 4 days 1 hour ago) and read 8662 times:
Me and my current girlfriend (coming up on 2 years) texted and talked online for nearly a year before we started dating. That included when she was in Spain on a class trip, we didn't start calling eachother on a regular basis until 2-3 weeks after we started dating, as we were both super shy.
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Vikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 8228 posts, RR: 28 Reply 7, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 23 hours ago) and read 8619 times:
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Keep in mind when reading this that I absolutely abhor text messaging. I wouldn't do it at all if my friends didn't all text me. I was terribly upset that I had to add a text messaging plan to my cellphone bill......and I only added it because the number of texts I was receiving and sending was costing way more than adding the plan does.
Anyway, I'll keep it short and simple:
If you want to ask her out on a date or whatever, call her.
If you're interested in her and want to talk to her, call her.
If you don't really want to talk to her, aren't really interested in her, and just want idle "conversation", then text message her.
Technology is all well and good, but at some point, it's beneficial to speak to a real human being. In person is the best, but at least on the phone you can hear how they're saying what they're saying. All that important inflection is lost through electronic messaging.
"Two and a Half Men" was filmed in front of a live ostrich.
Ajd1992 From UK - England, joined Jul 2006, 2645 posts, RR: 6 Reply 8, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 18 hours ago) and read 8561 times:
Call, Call Call....
Shows you aren't lazy or anything. Calling is more personal too, but that's just my opinion. Plus as well, if she notices (which she will, she's a woman and they notice everything ) then it'll be good for man points in your case too.
Braybuddy From Ireland, joined Aug 2004, 5288 posts, RR: 35 Reply 9, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 8535 times:
TEXT! Calling could put her in an awkward position to make a decision to meet up, which she might not appreciate. It also shows a certain eagerness on your part, so unless you want to convey that impression, a casual text is far better. It gives you time to work out exactly what you want to say, with room for a subtle hint of interest if you wish. Also, it gives her time to formulate a reply, which should eliminate the risk of misinterpretation on your part. Also, the time taken for her to reply is a good indcator of how interested she is.
Kmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 8 Reply 10, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 7 hours ago) and read 8461 times:
From a female perspective....CALL. Texting is impersonal, lazy and classless. If you call, it shows class...plus you get the bonus of hearing her voice when she realizes it's you. You can then better gauge how enthusiastic she is about seeing you! You can't insert subtle vocal nuances into a text message....especially if it's full of stupid abbreviations like many texts that I get...
'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
I asked three women in work the question and two said "call", one said "text". I suppose it comes down to individual preferences, which RGElectra80 would need to be a mind-reader to know.
The two who said "call" said pretty much what you said, Kmh, but the one who preferred text said it would give her time to think about how she wanted to respond.
Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 10): You can't insert subtle vocal nuances into a text message....
Have to disagree here: texting is a wonderful way of communication, with its own etiquette and which is completely different from any other form. Even if you do use textspeak, which I abhor (capitals and colons are more my style), you can still insert all kinds of subtle hints and nuances. Which one of us hasn't looked at a completed text and edited it before sending, say adding or subtracting an X? And timing is crucial: if RGElectra80 sent a text and received a reply within minutes, the girl would probably be buying the wedding dress before 2009. If she waits overnight to reply, he can forget it, unless she apologises profusely for being on hospitalised, imprisioned or on holidays, but if a "beep beep" comes through an hour or so later, he's on a winner.
IAirAllie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 12, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 6 hours ago) and read 8434 times:
Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 10): From a female perspective....CALL. Texting is impersonal, lazy and classless.
All due respect Kelly but there might be a generational thing here. As a younger female I completely disagree.
I find a quick text at the end of the night or first thing in the morning is nice. A "had fun meeting you" or a flirty little joke sent via text is great. It's less threatening and intimidating than a phone call right away. I'll expect a call later though if you want it to go anywhere.
A text is a great ice breaker. I'm one of those girls who needs to get to know you a little before I feel comfortable going out with you. I like it when a guy texts me with an invite to a group event or party. It lets me know he's interested, wants to hang out with me and gives me an opportunity to get to know him better without the pressure of a formal date.
Vikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 8228 posts, RR: 28 Reply 13, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 6 hours ago) and read 8436 times:
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Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 11): Even if you do use textspeak, which I abhor (capitals and colons are more my style), you can still insert all kinds of subtle hints and nuances.
She said vocal nuances.
You can insert anything you want into an email or text message. You still don't get the same inflection and nuance you do from hearing/seeing someone speak.
"Two and a Half Men" was filmed in front of a live ostrich.
Braybuddy From Ireland, joined Aug 2004, 5288 posts, RR: 35 Reply 14, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 8411 times:
Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 13): You still don't get the same inflection and nuance you do from hearing/seeing someone speak.
Probably, but you are talking about two completely different forms of communication here, each one with its advantages. Read IAirAllie's post above: I think she hits the nail exactly on the head. People get fired or dumped now by text, which may or may not be a good thing. I often think that people on the receiving end in such situations are more peeved by the deed rather than the method, and blame the method as a face-saver.
You have to remember that a generation is growing up to which text is the preferred form of communication in certain circumstances (again see IAirAllie's post). I read an article recently concerning teenagers and their almost umbilical attachment to their mobiles, and one of them asked the interviewer how he asked for a date when he was young. He replied, of course, that he went up to the girl and asked her. The reply? A simple "Eeeuw".
Kmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 8 Reply 15, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 5 hours ago) and read 8399 times:
Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 12): but there might be a generational thing here
It's got to be generational, as I find that most of teh social niceties that I was taught while growing up seem to have completely disappeared...phone calls instead of texts, hand-written thank you notes instead of emails (if written at all), actually responding to a request for RSVP...
It's dreadfully sad that technology has taken over our lives so completely that nobody wants to take the time to make a phone call or write a letter.
I stand by my assertion, however, that a phone call is better than a text any day.
'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
Vikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 8228 posts, RR: 28 Reply 16, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 8395 times:
Trust me, I'm only 26 - many of my own generation are extremely dependent on their phones - and people only a few years younger than I am have had cell phones since they were in middle school.
I suppose you could say I am dependent on my cell phone, too, in a way, as I don't have a landline.
I didn't get a cell phone until 2003 or so - years after just about all of my peers had them. To this day, I still despise the stupid thing. It annoys me to no end that everyone at work has my cell phone number, and can therefore reach me when I'm out on the golf course or wherever.
Don't get me wrong - I'm on email just about all day. It's a great way to stay in touch with people, and send out random funny links or messages. But if I want to reach you for something important, I'll call you. And I'll (generally) expect you to do the same. Because I'm not always on email, and I don't always pay much attention to text messages.
Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 15):
I stand by my assertion, however, that a phone call is better than a text any day.
Agreed with that.
"Two and a Half Men" was filmed in front of a live ostrich.
Asuflyer05 From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 2369 posts, RR: 3 Reply 17, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 8383 times:
The obvious answer is to call. All you have to do is take the same questions and apply it to another situation.
Example.
I met a girl. She's hot. I really want to sleep with her...Now! Should I call or text her?
RGElectra80 From United States of America, joined Dec 2008, 358 posts, RR: 0 Reply 18, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 14 hours ago) and read 8332 times:
FLY2HMO From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 19, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 8312 times:
I'm 50/50 on this. I will say that with my ex pretty much all the initial flirting was done via text but within a week we were calling each other several times a day. And every morning we'd text each other good morning and later in the night good night, from day one. As far as communication goes, she was really good and reliable in that regard. Mind you, this was a long distance thing, so use in moderation if distance is not a factor. And as always, it depends on the girl.
If she's like my ex and responds immediately to your texts, and with pretty long replies, and never misses one, then she's definitely a good girl to be texting with (for initial flirting only, man up and call eventually!). But if she's the type that takes forever to reply and is very vague with her responses, then she either a) isn't the type you want to text or b) isn't that into you and probably wont be.
Quoting FutureSDPDcop (Reply 4): If I go out with the boys to the bar or something and I meet a girl and get her number, I'll usually shoot a "It was nice meeting you tonight" type of text. That usually leads to conversation via text that night which can be followed up with a "good morning" text the following morning.
I'd second that. From my experience girls seem to really like the random good morning texts and I've heard lots of other girls say how they think it's cute. But use it in moderation.
Quoting RGElectra80 (Reply 18): I'm going to try texting and see how it works.
I'd say limit texting to flirting for now but be sure to call her eventually if things start to warm up.
At any rate good luck with this woman. You'll need it.
AirPortugal310 From United States of America, joined Apr 2004, 3070 posts, RR: 2 Reply 21, posted (4 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 8243 times:
Quoting Asuflyer05 (Reply 17): I met a girl. She's hot. I really want to sleep with her...Now! Should I call or text her?
Its true, but depending on the kind of person you are, it can work out both ways...
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) then it'll be good for man points in your case too.
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