Sponsor Message:
Non Aviation Forum
My Starred Topics | Profile | New Topic | Forum Index | Help | Search 
Friends - Finding Them.  
User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31679 posts, RR: 56
Posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 1279 times:

Its been my experience that although I have a number of collegues/aquantices & people I communicate with,I have never succeeded in getting another "Friend" in my many years apart from my childhood friends who kept in touch with me ever since.

From what I hear,Most people have lots of friends,So i try to figure out why is it so difficult if there would be similiar people in the world looking out for trusty persons too.

In the last 16 yrs,its probably been my Night shifts work that has not given me an opportunity to find new friends.When friends go out for dinner,I'm probably preparing to get to work.

When I define Friend,its someone more like a family member & not a collegue/aquantice/contact.

I often wonder if most of the future friends would be from persons working night shifts too  Smile

I'm quite happy with the situation currently,but just wanted to know from the rest on this forum,on how much time do you invest in trying to make "friends" & did you ever find some.

Talking to a few people I realised,most friends are found at gathering places,like clubs,schools,colleges,workplace & depending on the right people,can be friends.

Currently I guess I'm happy having just two "friends" for my wonder years  Smile

Would like to hear you folks give your opinion on your friend circle [Not collegues/acquantices] too.

regds
MEL


Think of the brighter side!
15 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineMadameConcorde From San Marino, joined Feb 2007, 10893 posts, RR: 37
Reply 1, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1236 times:

In this part of the world people keep to themselves and are generally not trustful of others they meet so it is very difficult to make new contacts. All is very superficial or they simply don't talk to anyone out of their own circles.

I have been on long haul flights (11+ hours) where seat neighbors did not say a word all classes considered. The only chatty ones were the flight crews or sometimes passengers from other sections on the aircrafts.

Also you can see most people everywhere communicating with their mobile phones and being earplugged to their Ipods while they resent or even refuse to communicate with the real people near them. This is the every day fare down here. They choose devices over real people.

 Yeah sure



There was a better way to fly it was called Concorde
User currently offlinePhatfarmlines From United States of America, joined Sep 2001, 1353 posts, RR: 1
Reply 2, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1236 times:



Quoting HAWK21M (Thread starter):
From what I hear,Most people have lots of friends,So i try to figure out why is it so difficult if there would be similiar people in the world looking out for [/b]trusty[/b] persons too.

Two takeaways from your above statement:

First, it will depend on the definition of friend. Is it the definition you mentioned in your post, or is it one of those tacky "Friends" list on Facebook that make them your friend? Idon't think I would be able to call a list of 500 people "Friends"

Second, the word "trust". Unfortunately, in the workplace, we are in an environment where fake smiles, competition (for promotions), and backstabbing are the norm. Although I adequately get along with most of my co-workers, it's simply to get things done in an efficient manner- nothing more, nothing less.

Now, I do have a select number (read "few") co-workers with whom I have a better relationship with. I find these individuals more proficient in the work they do than others, and are able to easily work out any disagreements we may have. I may go out to lunch with the, or do a once-in-a-blue-moon hiking activity outside of work, but it isn't the type of "friend" relationship that one has had during his/her lifetime. The type of people mentioned above may come and go, but friends will stick around.

My 2 cents.


User currently offlineIAirAllie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1231 times:

I have lots of wonderful friends I have made through the years. People who I can trust to be there for me when I need them and vice versa. Some started out collegues or aquaintances and grew to be much more. Friends and family are what make life worth it. Some I talk to almost daily others I might not see or talk to but once a year but when I do it seems like no time has passed and we pick up right where it left off. It seems like out of every phase of my life I have collected one or two friends from that period which remain a significant factor and constant in my life throughout the years.

User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31679 posts, RR: 56
Reply 4, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 1227 times:

Its nice to know that I'm not the only one thinking this way.

Quoting Phatfarmlines (Reply 2):

First, it will depend on the definition of friend. Is it the definition you mentioned in your post, or is it one of those tacky "Friends" list on Facebook that make them your friend? Idon't think I would be able to call a list of 500 people "Friends"

Friend to me is someone whose there in time of need without ulterior motive,Someone you can trust.Hence its difficult finding such a person as it takes time.But I'm sure there are many like minded pesons around,the trouble is how to find them  Smile

regds
MEL



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineAjd1992 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 1216 times:



Quoting MadameConcorde (Reply 1):
Also you can see most people everywhere communicating with their mobile phones and being earplugged to their Ipods while they resent or even refuse to communicate with the real people near them. This is the every day fare down here. They choose devices over real people.

I'm one of these people - It isn't down to the fact I'm ignorant, It's down to the fact I'm shy and keep myself to myself. I find myself in this situation a lot and as much as I don't know what to say, I have no desire to talk to a complete stranger. I'm not one for going outside my comfort zone and I don't see why people should think I'm ignorant when i'm just plain shy.

I've always been shy and yeah it does kinda put a downer on meeting people but if people talk to me first then I will talk to them. Don't expect me to start the conversation because I'm just not the kind of person.


User currently offlineOHLHD From Finland, joined Dec 2004, 3962 posts, RR: 25
Reply 6, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 1208 times:

Finding friends I believe is not so hard but rather keeping them as friends. Just like you I work at at the airport and used to have nightshifts or even worse I still have those early morning shifts which do not allow going out in the evening with friends.

Really good ( or best) friends I got three. They is not much a different from their background but all have different interests. My best friend is South America so I hardly see him ( maybe once a year) but we keep in touch via MSN or Facebook and every now and then we call each other. I know him now for more than 18 years and even tough we do not see each other a lot we will stay friends for ever!

The other 2 I meat regulary but they are different as one of them is always on a search to meat new people in order to tell them what he does, how good he is etc etc. Although it bothers when we go out and I stand next to him listening to the same stupid stuff I enjoy when we just meet and spend the time playing Playstation etc . The third one was unemployeed for a long time which made it hard for me as he would not understand that I do not have everyday off . Now that he works again everthing is better.

I do not look for new friends as I believe that maintaining 3 great friendships is "hard" enough. There are a lot of people with whom I keep a good relation but I propably see them once a month or every second month and I want to keep it like that. I never want to get into the situation where stress arises out have ing too many friends.


User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31679 posts, RR: 56
Reply 7, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 1139 times:

My Two Only Friends are known to me from last 35 yrs when we were kids playing with catapults & bicycles.Amazingly today we are all in varied fields....One is a Doctor & the Other a legal advisor to McDonalds.....With me in Aircraft Maintenance...

We communicate through Phone & meet up very rarely,as its tough getting a common free time.But both are people i can trust.

Not sure If i'd find other persons on the way....But these two will just stay. Smile
regds
MEL.



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offline757GB From Uruguay, joined Feb 2009, 676 posts, RR: 1
Reply 8, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 1125 times:

I can relate to several things that have been said.

Just like Ajd1992 was saying, I am also one of those shy people. It takes an effort for me to start conversations. I believe it has to do with the kind of person you are. Some folks can make friends almost without effort by being very friendly and open. I am a friendly person but not very outspoken. I tend to be very quiet.

I have two friends from childhood, actually from school, who will be my friends forever. I lost touch with them even though we are in the same city, and only got in touch with one of them recently. However if I got a call from one of them and he was in need I would run to help. I know they are the same. We simply have different lives now.

Later in life I have made some very few but very good friends mainly through work.

I usually train people so a lot of people know me, and as I tend to be friendly I got a good relationship with them. However they know nothing about me beyond the surface.

The true friends I have, I got through difficult times. Either people that helped me or that I helped in time of need. Through the storms you can get to know a person's nature, and only then I believe a good, solid friendship can be established.

Another thing that is important I think is if you can communicate on the same level. I'm not above anybody, but I tend to do a lot of thinking. I feel comfortable when I can talk about something in depth. Light talk can be ok but does not build frienships that much, at least in my case.

Thanks for opening this thread HAWK21M, I really enjoy the chance to talk about this.

Regards,
GB



God is The Alpha and The Omega. We come from God. We go towards God. What an Amazing Journey...
User currently offlineArniepie From Belgium, joined Aug 2005, 1265 posts, RR: 1
Reply 9, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 1122 times:



Quoting HAWK21M (Thread starter):
,I have never succeeded in getting another "Friend" in my many years apart from my childhood friends who kept in touch with me ever since.

I say this with the utter most respect but making new friends and maintaining existing friendships requires some time and effort.
I have tons of acquaintances and many good friends, about 10 of them I consider very good friends , we help each other in times of need and frequently visit or hang-out.

I have a feeling that many people these days spend way too much time on the Internet and while knowing a lot of people superficially all over the world ,they have a hard time when it come to more personal contact.

Again don't take this too personal but seeing you have +20000 posts on this board alone just made me question if you might not be spending too much time here in stead of outside where the real life is?

The late or night-shift argument is probably an easy excuse for a more fundamental issue, no?
I know I used to work Late-Night-Night shifts for the first 5 yrs in my career and my social life (and my fellow workers) never really suffered from it.



[edit post]
User currently offlineDanTaylor2006 From UK - England, joined Feb 2006, 495 posts, RR: 0
Reply 10, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 1108 times:



Quoting 757GB (Reply 8):
Just like Ajd1992 was saying, I am also one of those shy people. It takes an effort for me to start conversations. I believe it has to do with the kind of person you are. Some folks can make friends almost without effort by being very friendly and open. I am a friendly person but not very outspoken. I tend to be very quiet.

 checkmark   checkmark 

I was exactly the same at school, which was in essence up until about 4 months ago. I'd be great around the friends I'd known since the beginning of high school, but around new people I'd never talk, unless they talked to me...

However, I can actually say that that changed when I went to University. I was forced to become more proactive in speaking to other people, and to some extent it's worked for me... I find it much easier to meet new people now, especially doing introductions... I still don't really know how to start conversations, and am still a bit shy on occasions, but it's better than it was at school - purely down to moving away from home, and having to make new friends over.

Saying that, though, the friends I have here at Uni are good, and I can talk to them enough... but they're not my friends from home, and I've actually found it quite tough to not be around them constantly. From home, I'd say I probably have 2 or 3 best friends, that I can talk honestly with and will willingly help out whatever the problem (as they do for me), and about 5-10 good friends, who I can easily talk to and regularly go out with (when home etc)...

One thing's for sure, I really want to keep contact with some of my friends from home, even if it's only the 3 best... simply because they've become such good friends. If, like people here suggest, they're such good friends that we'll continue to be for a while, then I'll be very much happy... but the thought is always there, niggling at the back of my mind, that I might lose them sooner rather than later. Hopefully, though, I'll be wrong.

I've only got 3 years here to make and hold onto friends... then I start again in the workplace, so I'll actually be interested to see my position when that happens, and how much I'll have changed since leaving school... and whether I still am in contact with any friends from home!

Until then though... I'm making the most of every chance  Smile



Flown: A319-21, A346, A380, B733-4, B738, B744, B752, B762-4, B77W, CR2, CR9, DH4, E190-95, F70-100, MD-11, MD-88, MD-90
User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31679 posts, RR: 56
Reply 11, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 1095 times:



Quoting Arniepie (Reply 9):
Again don't take this too personal but seeing you have +20000 posts on this board alone just made me question if you might not be spending too much time here in stead of outside where the real life is?

Over 75% of those posts are in Tech/Ops which is part of my Job.....So I don't feel its spending time on the net thats wasted.
I really have no problem making contacts & have a lot of them,I have no problem starting a conversation with people,but I'm talking of finding a "friend".Maybe my defination of friend would be something more in detail of trust.But I guess that needs time too.

Quoting Arniepie (Reply 9):
know I used to work Late-Night-Night shifts for the first 5 yrs in my career and my social life (and my fellow workers) never really suffered from it

I work nights & five nights a week in Maintenance so there is no defined out timing.If there is an AOG it can be stuck at work for 24-36 hrs.So the time for socialising is only Weekends,where its mainly family time.
But I agree,maybe a little effort on that weekend is needed.

regds
MEL



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineRaffik From United Kingdom, joined Feb 2006, 1716 posts, RR: 4
Reply 12, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 1093 times:

I'll be your friend Mel  Smile


Happy -go- lucky kinda guy!
User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31679 posts, RR: 56
Reply 13, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 1080 times:



Quoting Raffik (Reply 12):

I'll be your friend Mel

Thanks raffik.  Smile

On a serious note......I guess in todays world.....Majority of people think very differently.Not sure if its right or wrong,but def think differently.
friends can be from any community/religon/caste,but someone who considers trust above all.
regds
MEL



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineAf773atmsp From United States of America, joined Aug 2006, 2663 posts, RR: 1
Reply 14, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 1077 times:

Since my old friends forgot about me I've been trying to make friends. I've made school friends and hopefully I'll hang out with some of them soon. But while I wait I'll just be doing nothing during the weekends.  Sad


It ain't no normal MD80 its a Super 80!
User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31679 posts, RR: 56
Reply 15, posted (5 years 6 months 2 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 1064 times:



Quoting Af773atmsp (Reply 14):

Since my old friends forgot about me I've been trying to make friends

If they forgot about you,then they were never your friends in the first place,but just collegues.Maybe you considered them to be friends but to them you were not a friend but just a collegue.
regds
MEL



Think of the brighter side!
Top Of Page
Forum Index

This topic is archived and can not be replied to any more.

Printer friendly format

Similar topics:More similar topics...
How About Them UT Longhorns?! posted Sat Oct 18 2008 18:46:52 by FXramper
Help Needed Finding A Prank Call! posted Mon Oct 13 2008 09:04:46 by Cumulus
Sue Them, Jail Them, Make Them Pay For Meltdown posted Fri Sep 19 2008 07:43:10 by Revelation
How Do You Call Your Friends Parents posted Fri Sep 5 2008 07:53:09 by HAWK21M
Friends From Different Religons posted Fri Sep 5 2008 07:41:04 by HAWK21M
Senator Obama Starts Tossing Them Under The Bus. posted Thu Aug 28 2008 21:26:28 by RJdxer
Chavez And King Carlos : Friends Again... posted Fri Jul 25 2008 10:14:44 by Beaucaire
Your Wildlife Pictures - Post Them Here posted Mon Mar 10 2008 03:47:41 by BMIFlyer
Dear Spanish Friends, I Envy You posted Sun Mar 9 2008 12:15:48 by F.pier
Train Stories: Share Them Here posted Mon Feb 11 2008 07:57:30 by BR715-A1-30