Mbj-11 From Jamaica, joined Aug 2000, 386 posts, RR: 1 Posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 2790 times:
I read the parable of Jesus saying how many times we should forgive to my kids today and the thought occurred to me, what is the one or couple things you could never forgive? Whether you consider yourself a believer in Christ or some other being, is there anything you feel you could never forgive no matter how long time has passed?
Personally murder or rape readily comes to mind. But I am trying hard to abide by this principle, what would you never let go of?
Dreadnought From United States of America, joined Feb 2008, 9023 posts, RR: 24
Reply 2, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 17 hours ago) and read 2781 times:
Quoting Mbj-11 (Thread starter): But I am trying hard to abide by this principle, what would you never let go of?
There is a big difference between forgiving and forgetting. There also is a prerequisite for forgiveness, which is remorse. In the examples you mention, I don't feel that many of the people we catch for murder, rape or other crimes show much in the way of remorse, apart from being sorry they got caught. For such people, I don't see that you are required to forgive them if they have no remorse for their actions, even as a Christian.
HAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31713 posts, RR: 56
Reply 4, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 16 hours ago) and read 2747 times:
I'm unfortunately a person who cannot forget even If I forgive.
I believe Betrayl is something i can never forget ever,however small it may be.
But I try to reroute this anger in to positive way & use it to get me to succeed in challenges.Its not the univerversal way of doing things but def works for me.
Jpax From United States of America, joined Aug 2006, 1020 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 2711 times:
The lowest form of scum on the earth that took the liberty of making fun of my little brother for being "so weak" to get cancer (brain tumor), and then having some additional remarks after his passing.
Speedbirdie From United Kingdom, joined May 2006, 931 posts, RR: 52
Reply 7, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 2702 times:
I don't forgive people who lie to me.. I may SAY I forgive them, but in truth I don't find it that easy.
I recall one time a so called 'friend' (word used very lightly) telling me that another 'friend' of our had a plane crash in a mountain and hadn't been located. Although it was a joke, a vicious sick f*****g joke, it still to this day has made me mad as hell and that is something I will NEVER forgive. Ever since then, if someone lies to me, they know about it.
SOBHI51 From Saudi Arabia, joined Jun 2003, 3777 posts, RR: 23
Reply 8, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 15 hours ago) and read 2684 times:
i will never forgive or forget who put my wife in to much anguish by telling her that there was no use him seeing me after he read lab results as i was as good as dead.We saw another doctor and a quick trip and a stay in hospital i was as good as new.The worst part is that my wife never told me till after the operation.Shame i can not sue the heck out of this doctor.
I am against any terrorist acts committed under the name of Islam
Iflykpdx From United States of America, joined Mar 2007, 288 posts, RR: 0
Reply 9, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 14 hours ago) and read 2649 times:
Dunno if I will ever forgive my dad for committing suicide. It really destroyed what our family was, although a few good things have come out of it (as bad as it feels to say that). Since it's impossible to know if anything could've been done to prevent it, it'll just remain an unanswered question I suppose.
Concord977 From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 1261 posts, RR: 24
Reply 14, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 12 hours ago) and read 2586 times:
Quoting ShyFlyer (Reply 10): Difficult to say if there is something that I find unforgivable. Perhaps it would be a situation where someone (or a group) willfully destroyed something/someone that I held dear.
What do you mean? If a TV network cancels your favorite TV show is that 'unforgivable'? If your favorite airline shut down or merged into another, is that unforgivable?
I think forgiveness is something we do for ourselvves first. It's a way of getting over things personally. Then, if it even matters to the other party whether they're forgiven, it may benefit them too.
Vikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 10471 posts, RR: 26
Reply 16, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 11 hours ago) and read 2539 times:
I've found, unfortunately, that over the past few years, forgiving some people has become harder than it used to be.
I'm not sure if that's because I've become more contentious, or I've had to deal with generally worse people. Probably a bit of both.
I always say that it's not worth wasting energy on hate; and for that reason, I particularly don't like the fact that I seem to use more energy toward negative emotions these days than I did in the past.
I've seen a few people do some pretty awful stuff to someone whom they had the gall to call their friend in the weeks before. Although I knew there were some pretty awful people out there, I hadn't had to deal with them or be affected by them directly, for the most part. And if I ever happen to see them, I'd be hard-pressed not to sock them in the face.
FLY2HMO From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 18, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 8 hours ago) and read 2428 times:
Quoting Mbj-11 (Thread starter): is there anything you feel you could never forgive no matter how long time has passed?
I don't tolerate flakes. Have (or had, would be more correct) a friend who I was really close with (in hindsight I was more like a box of Kleenex to her) that I haven't heard from in over a year. And I've called her several times to say hi and what not but she never answers and she never bothers to call back. So I flushed her down the toilet and she's gonna get it if she calls me again out of the blue looking for a shoulder to cry on. Which will happen soon probably since I get the feeling she will get dumped.
I don't think I can forgive my ex for using me like she did and just disappearing from my life like if she had died without having the guts to come up to me and say it's over. But I've forgotten about her for the most part now that I've been mingling with other nicer women.
IAirAllie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 20, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 3 days 2 hours ago) and read 2350 times:
Quoting Dreadnought (Reply 2): For such people, I don't see that you are required to forgive them if they have no remorse for their actions, even as a Christian.
I don't forgive because I am required to. I forgive because it is healthier for me to do so.
The hardest thing for me to forgive was how much my Stepmom and Dad hurt my little brother growing up by making it clear he was not really welcome in their house. I was old enough to protect myself he was dependent on them.
After he died I read some of his journals and it broke my heart. I had a moment where I felt so angry at them for making a significant portion of his life very lonely. It was very short lived and I think I have forgiven them. I understand that they can both be very weak selfish people. It doesn't make them monsters it makes them faliable like everyone else. I know they both feel remorse that helps but I would have forgiven them regardless for my own sanity. Living with that is punishment enough for them. Holding on to the anger would only hurt me. I recognize their limitations as human beings and tolerate that part of them by focusing on the good in them. I think my life is richer for having let go of it. I have them and my youngest siblings in my life. Without forgivness I would not be able to have a relationship with my Dad and Stepmom and I would as a result miss out on the richness that my littles bring to my life (I love them more than anything and my happiest moments are those I spend with them).
I also find it hard to forgive myself when I screw up.
I am not a parent but I imagine it would be very difficult to forgive someone who hurts your child. I know a get pretty ferocious when people are mean or hurtful to my little siblings (10 and 13 yrs old).
Theredbaron From Mexico, joined Mar 2005, 2395 posts, RR: 10
Reply 21, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 1 day 8 hours ago) and read 2227 times:
Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 20): I don't forgive because I am required to. I forgive because it is healthier for me to do so.
truer words have never been spoken before.
Those who commit nasty things will pay sooner or later, who are we to judge.
I was trying to think about someone I hate or need to forgive, but I cant think of anybody, in the end I have seen how things play out and I guess there is no point on hate and getting angry.
Karma is unavoidable.
Kmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 7
Reply 23, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 2214 times:
What would I never forgive?
*Anyone who harms my family, particularly my daughter.
*Any man who dares to try to raise his fist in anger to me again....he's outta there. Been there, learned that, got the t-shirt.
*Blatant, hurtful dishonesty.
'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
NWADC9 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 4898 posts, RR: 9
Reply 24, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 2209 times:
Quoting HAWK21M (Reply 4): I'm unfortunately a person who cannot forget even If I forgive.
Human nature. I believe forgive-n-forget is total garbage. Some punk kills my brother. Forgive? Yes, when he's remorseful. But forget? That I will never do.
I believe it's stupid not to forgive. Who are you hurting? Yourself. Not forgiving leaves the pain with you, and would you want to live in agony your entire life?
Now justice, that's another issue. I want total justice. If said punk gets off because the DA's incompetent or there's some stupid law or something, I'm gonna want some butts mailed to me mounted on a mahogany wooden plaque. 'Course, that guy will most likely be rotting away in burning sulfer with his buddies in the after-life anyway, and nothing beats eternal torture.
Flying an aeroplane with only a single propeller to keep you in the air. Can you imagine that? -Capt. Picard
Ajd1992 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 25, posted (5 years 11 months 3 weeks 1 day 7 hours ago) and read 2199 times:
Somebody beating up my little brother (he's 13), or something to do with him. I might act like I don't like him but I'm protective because he can't fend for himself, he's a late starter so he's kinda small. Touch him and well... your mistake
I tend not to forgive easily. Some people did stuff to me years ago that I still don't talk to and go out of my way to avoid. If they really wanted to be friends then they wouldn't make the mistake of messing it up. It hurts me but it hurts them more, and every time I look at them I remember what they've done. It's just not the same again.