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Yet Another A.Net Relationship Thread  
User currently offlineSv7887 From United States of America, joined May 2008, 1025 posts, RR: 0
Posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 12 hours ago) and read 2849 times:

Hi Everyone!
So yes I know another relationship thread, but I thought it would be good to get an unbiased opinion

So my mother, friends, and even the Indian community have been up my ass regarding getting married, or even starting some sort of a relationship with a girl. I guess they have a point, I'm 26 and not getting any younger. I finished grad school a few years ago, and despite the market should have a decent career outlook.

I'm opposed to this primarily because I am not working right now, and it's a tough market. My job loss was my fault, as I took my father's passing very hard and my work product suffered as a result of that shock and time demands of the estate legal stuff. It was the year from hell and I'm glad it's over and done with.

I just feel awkward about the whole relationship thing. It just seems too material orientated these days, and I'm not exactly in a position to be doing those sort of things right now. I'm not in any financial trouble, but that's because I've been a cheap ass for most of my life.

Maybe I'm being insecure? I asked my women friends about this and they told me it shouldn't matter. They said someone who's looking at me purely for materialism isn't the sort of person I should be anyway. I just think I should have my life in order before starting something like that.

I sure as heck would never ever lie to a girl about my working situation, but I feel stupid admitting what happened either. Most people seem to understand the whole thing, so I might be making a big deal about nothing.

What do you all think?

Thanks!
Sam

35 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineA332 From Canada, joined Feb 2005, 1644 posts, RR: 2
Reply 1, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 11 hours ago) and read 2833 times:

You need to get yourself out into the 'jungle' and meet & spend time with all sorts of women before you can even think about getting yourself into a serious relationship.

Your first goal should be to find someone who shares some common ground with you, and take the time to get to know them and let it develop from there. If it's meant to be, you will know.

To be honest, you can't just walk out there and expect to find yourself a serious committed relationship off the bat... you'll fall flat or end up with someone undesirable.

It took me 5 years to realize that I was actually in love with a good friend of mine... and we are now 2 years strong in a committed relationship (I don't really believe in marriage) with a beautiful daughter and a life ahead of us...

Be yourself. Be honest. Be confident. You'll find the right person for you.  Smile



Bad spellers of the world... UNTIE!
User currently offlineFLY2HMO From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 11 hours ago) and read 2814 times:



Quoting Sv7887 (Thread starter):
but that's because I've been a cheap ass for most of my life.

That's a turn off for many if not all girls.

Quoting Sv7887 (Thread starter):
It just seems too material orientated these days, and I'm not exactly in a position to be doing those sort of things right now.

I feel ya. As much as I want a GF its not a good time for me either. I try to mingle with the ladies as much as I can though and I try and get a few dates here and there, I've yet to find anyone that's worth it but even if I did find a decent girl it probably wouldn't work out given the uncertainty in my career.

Quoting Sv7887 (Thread starter):
I asked my women friends about this and they told me it shouldn't matter.

BS!!! NEVER take advice from girl friends. Been there, done that, paid the consequences. If there's anything that's more of a turnoff than moneypinching it's insecurity. Girls HATE HATE HATE insecure guys. On the flip side they hate cocky arrogant bastards as well. Which makes it tough because you have to find the sweet spot in between being an asshole and being a nice guy. I was one of the "nice guys" but I've changed my attitude significantly and while I'm not sleeping with women left and right just yet I am having significantly easier time getting to know random girls and talking to them and getting more dates, all the while keeping them interested.

I recommend you get a hold of Doc Love's "The System" Yes most of it is common sense and while i'd say it was far from life changing it really give me a major wake up call and got me my A-game easier.


User currently offlineSv7887 From United States of America, joined May 2008, 1025 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 10 hours ago) and read 2779 times:



Quoting FLY2HMO (Reply 2):
Quoting Sv7887 (Thread starter):
but that's because I've been a cheap ass for most of my life.

That's a turn off for many if not all girls.

Too bad for them. If they can't see the merits of watching every dime you spend, then they aren't for me in the first place. It's the only reason I can get away with being out of work and why I'll be able to retire without too much trouble.

That said, I'm always a gentleman with women, but that doesn't include spending hundreds upon hundreds of dollars on pointless materialistic crap. My friends complain to me all the time about their girlfriends and the money they spend.

I don't like entitlement. If someone does something nice, they deserve to be rewarded, but expensive gifts shouldn't be a prerequisite to a relationship.

Quoting FLY2HMO (Reply 2):
BS!!! NEVER take advice from girl friends. Been there, done that, paid the consequences. If there's anything that's more of a turnoff than moneypinching it's insecurity. Girls HATE HATE HATE insecure guys. On the flip side they hate cocky arrogant bastards as well.

You're right on that one. Girls love to approach me because I apparently have this "unapproachable don't talk to me" thing going. I get teased alot by my guy friends for this one.

Quoting A332 (Reply 1):
Your first goal should be to find someone who shares some common ground with you, and take the time to get to know them and let it develop from there. If it's meant to be, you will know.

This is good advice. Thank you!

Quoting A332 (Reply 1):
It took me 5 years to realize that I was actually in love with a good friend of mine... and we are now 2 years strong in a committed relationship (I don't really believe in marriage) with a beautiful daughter and a life ahead of us...

I sort of stumbled upon the same sort of situation. I was close to a girl (for 6 yrs) who I thought was my friend, but it turns out she wanted much more. The rub was she had a boyfriend, and I wasn't willing to ruin their relationship. I knew him, and I didn't think it was right to screw him over just because they were having issues. Needless to say, she got pissed and we don't talk anymore. That whole experience shook me, because I wasn't perceptive enough to realize her interest in me was more than friendly.

We'll see where it goes. Thanks for all your comments!


User currently offlineCorinthians From United States of America, joined May 2008, 337 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 9 hours ago) and read 2754 times:

Whomever says that women don't care about your financial situation is full of shit. They absolutely do. And even if they say they don't, they will mask it with phrases of them "seeking security" or some other crap like that. Don't believe them! When a women is looking for something serious and thinking about settling down, she's going to think about kids. For a good portion of her pregnancy and shortly after, she's not going to work. And a lot of girls stop working forever after kids. They're not going to hang around someone who can't support them and the kid.

And, like someone else said, DON'T take advise from female "friends". They always give shit for advice. They will say how they like nice guys or what not, but it's totally not true. Nice guys are chumps. Being nice to a girl and letting them get their way only shows weakness and not the "security" that they desire. Now, I'm not saying you should go out and be an asshole, but act like you don't care so much and show that you can live without them. Women need attention, but they will like you more when you don't show as much to them because it gets them frustrated and they will come after you seeking that attention. You all know the saying, "nice guys finish last." There's a reason it exists.

I say all of the above because I used to be a "nice guy". I got absolutely no action. Maybe some girls would be my "friend", but I would secretly like them and when I mustered up the courage to express my feelings, I'd be shot down and feel like a loser. I got nothing out of being "just friends". I eventually got a girlfriend whom I was engaged too and when we broke up, it was absolutely devastating and took a few years to get over it. I then decided to change my attitude and just stop caring. If I got rejected, so be it. I got rejected a lot, but I improved my game, my appearance, etc. and had much better luck and met much better quality women. I have a girlfriend now, but before her, I had no trouble getting dates, etc.

Also, if you want to meet more girls, online is the best way. Bars are too loud and crowded and a lot of girls are just there for free drinks (as the guy, you're expected to buy for them). You can be more selective online too. I met most girls online through Craigslist or this other site called www.pof.com. Both are free. I even signed up for Match.com and had to pay. Match wasn't really worth it. Believe it or not, Craigslist worked the best for me.

As well, age, education and background influences things. With age, women younger than 25 are stupid and don't know what they really want, so they're more likely to mess around with anything, including trash. Women 25-30 know what they want and won't settle for anything else. I find women in this group actually date less. Nine times out of ten, that won't be you. Women 31+ are desperate because they realize their own aging process and see that they don't have that much time before they won't be able to have kids. I find them the easiest.


User currently offlineFLY2HMO From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 8 hours ago) and read 2743 times:



Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 3):
Too bad for them. If they can't see the merits of watching every dime you spend, then they aren't for me in the first place. It's the only reason I can get away with being out of work and why I'll be able to retire without too much trouble.

I see where you're coming from.

I don't know you personally so I don't know how far you take money pinching. But I'll put it this way: a former roommate, despite being loaded, would take this to the extremes. He would not flush the toilet to "save" water, and the idiot would open all the doors to our apartment during a muggy IAH summer to "ventilate". Bear in mind, it would 95F outside and before opening the damned windows and doors the apartment was a reasonable 75F and he did this to "save" on the electric bill yet the retard could not comprehend no matter how many times i yelled at him that just leaving everything shut it would cost less than bringing in hotter air into our place and then cooling that hot air back down  banghead .

So if you take things that far (im assuming you don't) not only are you never gonna get laid (he has yet to touch, let alone date, a woman) but you may have other major issues as well as you're gonna have a VERY tough time explaining such anal retentiveness to a potential GF.

Just thought I'd throw that out there.


User currently offlineSv7887 From United States of America, joined May 2008, 1025 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 8 hours ago) and read 2730 times:



Quoting FLY2HMO (Reply 5):
ut I'll put it this way: a former roommate, despite being loaded, would take this to the extremes. He would not flush the toilet to "save" water, and the idiot would open all the doors to our apartment during a muggy IAH summer to "ventilate"

Man, this guy takes cheap to a new level lol. I'm not that bad, I just don't shop that much. If I do, I usually buy stuff when there is a big sale. (65-80% off at those seasonal sales at Macy's, etc)

I don't eat out much, since I cook, and I don't take vacations since when I worked I flew all over the place anyway. I don't know what to do with all those FF miles on Delta..The only thing I spend money on is my car, but even then I got a very good deal that gives me flexibility to get out of it if I really needed to.

I live on the basic essentials without getting too much on the penny pinching stuff. I'm more concerned about building a proper retirement fund and keeping reserves for instances like this when I'm not working.

To give some more info: I'm anything but a nice guy. I'm usually disinterested and don't believe in giving people too much attention. I've never been terribly solicitous of women, but neither am I jerk to them. My usual attitude is "I don't give a crap" and the more I do it, the more attention I seem to get from these women. It's like dealing with a damn cat or something.

I learned the hard way of course. I let a good lady friend of mine walk all over me. I finally grew up and realized, the whole nice guy thing was a waste of time like you guys here.

I really don't "date" per se because of the troubles we've had in our family. Very few women will understand that whole situation, so I don't bother wasting my time. As someone mentioned a lot of women below 25 seem to be somewhat immature.

In our Indian community things have evolved somewhat. The whole marriage thing has become "Assisted dating" where the elders pair someone up and let them take it from there. I had this irritating date with a Doctor girl in Boston, who despite being super-smart academically was one of the most superficial people I've met. It didn't help her cause that she insisted on going to a restaurant that was $50 a person. On a good day I might spend $15 at an Olive Garden or something. Too much drama for me. I ended that night shaking my head over how irritating she was.

Of course I get an email two days later saying I was "too moderate in my pleasure seeking" for her, and that she liked to shop, dance, and prance. (I kid you not, she actually said that, The women at work laughed at that one for days). I told my mother never to arrange a date for me again lol.

So it seems my instincts were right, I need to get working before getting into this game.


User currently offlineFLY2HMO From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 7, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 8 hours ago) and read 2711 times:



Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 6):
since I cook,

Now THAT will get you many bonus points with the girls, assuming you're good, that is...  Wink

Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 6):
I let a good lady friend of mine walk all over me.

Been there done that, again. Hate the feeling. I still talk to her though and now we're in much better terms, but this time around I walk over her, but she's fine with that lol

Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 6):
As someone mentioned a lot of women below 25 seem to be somewhat immature.

oh gawd tell me about it. Im coming up on 25 shortly and heck I've even gone out several times with a few 30 year-olds and even they are helplessly retarded.  banghead 

Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 6):
It didn't help her cause that she insisted on going to a restaurant that was $50 a person.

I honestly don't find that too unreasonable, unless I know for a fact that the food is crap. But that's just me.

Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 6):
and that she liked to shop, dance, and prance.

Wow, lame. I think you dodged a bullet there.


User currently offlineTylerDurden From United States of America, joined May 2008, 852 posts, RR: 0
Reply 8, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 7 hours ago) and read 2706 times:



Quoting Sv7887 (Thread starter):
so I might be making a big deal about nothing.

Yep, you are.
Stop worrying about it...enjoy your life.
You'll meet someone at some point----no need to fret about it.


User currently offlineIAirAllie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 9, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 7 hours ago) and read 2688 times:

A female FRIEND might not give you great advice because they are trying to be diplomatic but I'm a stranger so I don't care about hurting your feelings.

Quoting Sv7887 (Thread starter):
It just seems too material orientated these days, and I'm not exactly in a position to be doing those sort of things right now.

You can invest different things into relationships. You can invest money or you can invest time, effort and creativity. Most of us would actually prefer the time, effort and creativity.

Quoting Sv7887 (Thread starter):
I'm not in any financial trouble, but that's because I've been a cheap ass for most of my life.

I hope you are saying cheap ass in a tongue in cheek way. See below...

Quoting FLY2HMO (Reply 2):

That's a turn off for many if not all girls.

Being a cheapskate or stingy IS a turn off. Things like stiffing the server on the tip etc. are unattractive. However fiscal responsibility is a turn ON for marriage and family minded women. Flashy showy spending screams I am insecure. Spending responsibly shows you are stable and trustworthy.

Quoting Corinthians (Reply 4):
Whomever says that women don't care about your financial situation is full of shit. They absolutely do.

Yep we do. It's no secret we don't want to marry and start families with guys who can't even support themselves.

Quoting Corinthians (Reply 4):
And even if they say they don't, they will mask it with phrases of them "seeking security" or some other crap like that.

Security isn't a mask it is the truth.

Quoting Corinthians (Reply 4):
Don't believe them! When a women is looking for something serious and thinking about settling down, she's going to think about kids. For a good portion of her pregnancy and shortly after, she's not going to work. And a lot of girls stop working forever after kids. They're not going to hang around someone who can't support them and the kid.

Exactly right. However, that is the definition of security to me. Knowing the man I choose to settle down with can support our family.

Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 3):
My friends complain to me all the time about their girlfriends and the money they spend.

If you have it spending money is a cop out, it's easy. Guys who do this often are buying their way out of investing time and effort into their relationships. The quality women don't like this. I had a boyfriend who was very busy all the time every now and then he'd say here take my credit card go buy yourself something nice. I never took him up on it because I recognized what it meant when he did that. He was trying to buy me off so he didn't feel guilty about not spending time with me.

Quoting Sv7887 (Thread starter):
I sure as heck would never ever lie to a girl about my working situation, but I feel stupid admitting what happened either.



Frankly right now it seems like you need to be focusing on finding a new job getting yourself stable. Don't let the pressure from your family and community push you into something you aren't feeling ready for.

PS. do NOT listen to FLY2HMO he has serious woman issues.


User currently offlineSv7887 From United States of America, joined May 2008, 1025 posts, RR: 0
Reply 10, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 2678 times:



Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 9):
A female FRIEND might not give you great advice because they are trying to be diplomatic but I'm a stranger so I don't care about hurting your feelings.

Haha appreciate the candor!!

Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 9):
Quoting Corinthians (Reply 4):
Don't believe them! When a women is looking for something serious and thinking about settling down, she's going to think about kids. For a good portion of her pregnancy and shortly after, she's not going to work. And a lot of girls stop working forever after kids. They're not going to hang around someone who can't support them and the kid.

Exactly right. However, that is the definition of security to me. Knowing the man I choose to settle down with can support our family.

I don't have a problem with that. What I do have a problem with is the entitlement. Up here in Boston, girls seem to want a maid, a nanny, expensive cars, etc etc. (One actually said that to me)

I'm happy to pay for my kids, and their education to good schools provided they are worthy of it. However, I don't believe that someone should be entitled to a life of luxury on my dime. I don't believe in handing things to people, they ought to earn them. Not all women are like this of course, but the Boston brats I run into seem to forget feminism means equality. You want it, earn it! lol.

Even my mother worked in factories when my dad was getting settled to help out. Once he got settled, she worked hard to make the home run. Even if she didn't earn money, she still was pretty active in making things run. That's the way I want it to be.

Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 9):

Frankly right now it seems like you need to be focusing on finding a new job getting yourself stable. Don't let the pressure from your family and community push you into something you aren't feeling ready for.

You're probably right. By age 26 the community thinks you're "old" and start harassing you every time they see you.."Why aren't you married? Is there some kind of problem?" Once you hear it 50 times it gets annoying.

I think one should build life on a solid foundation. I always felt once I had gotten a good education, a solid job, and money in the bank I'd be ready. We'll see how it goes.

Thanks again for your helpful comments!
Sam


User currently offlineSteeler83 From United States of America, joined Feb 2006, 9182 posts, RR: 18
Reply 11, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 2661 times:



Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 9):
Frankly right now it seems like you need to be focusing on finding a new job getting yourself stable. Don't let the pressure from your family and community push you into something you aren't feeling ready for.

Agreed. When you feel the moment is right, then YOU pounce on it. You should be in control of your life; not them or anyone else. I'm almost 26 myself and I got engaged only last year, and won't be officially married until October 2010. By then I'll be 27, but by then I should be out of the field I'm currently working in (assisted living) and into the one I've been studying for (geography, planning, GIS etc). At least I'm earning a decent wage now while I'm at school and saving some cash for wedding/honeymoon costs.

I took time to get my life in order. You should do the same and not really give a hoot about what they say. The odds are you'll be very uncomfortable if you're rushed into something you're not ready for, and it will just set you up for problems later on...



Do not bring stranger girt into your room. The stranger girt is dangerous, it will hurt your life.
User currently offlineFLY2HMO From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 12, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 5 hours ago) and read 2638 times:

Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 9):
PS. do NOT listen to FLY2HMO he has serious woman issues.

And don't listen to her 'cuz she's full of it.   

[Edited 2009-06-03 21:25:30]

User currently offlineIAirAllie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 4 hours ago) and read 2628 times:



Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 10):

Haha appreciate the candor!!

You're welcome, while it's true I was being a bit facetious.

Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 10):
However, I don't believe that someone should be entitled to a life of luxury on my dime. I don't believe in handing things to people, they ought to earn them.

When you are married it's not your dime anymore especially if she is raising your children.

Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 10):
Even my mother worked in factories when my dad was getting settled to help out. Once he got settled, she worked hard to make the home run. Even if she didn't earn money, she still was pretty active in making things run. That's the way I want it to be.

Sounds like you get it.


User currently offlineSv7887 From United States of America, joined May 2008, 1025 posts, RR: 0
Reply 14, posted (5 years 1 month 4 weeks 4 hours ago) and read 2621 times:



Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 13):
Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 10):
However, I don't believe that someone should be entitled to a life of luxury on my dime. I don't believe in handing things to people, they ought to earn them.

When you are married it's not your dime anymore especially if she is raising your children.

As I said, I'm happy to provide, but I don't believe in excess. My mother never required my father buy her expensive jewelry, McMansions, luxury cars, and the whole nanny, maid thing. Even now she doesn't spend the money my dad left her and insists on doing the housework herself.

Some men will throw money at their wives, but I never will because I don't believe in living that way. And there is nothing like a good Estate lawyer to make sure what is mine stays mine. There are a ton of women I know that want to earn their way through life and don't want a handout from their husbands.

Working in the consulting world has been great, because I've met some very highly motivated and intelligent women who are fiercely independent and want to earn whatever it is they desire.

I'm not some kind of scrooge. I just don't like the entitled attitude of some of the girls out there. I'm not a believer in the "high life" because it's not sustainable unless you very rich. Even then, I've found the smartest wealthy folks are the ones who live modestly and make their money work for them. Given money is the number one issue couples fight over, it's essential to maintain a stable financial portfolio to ride out the bad times. The current economic conditions are proof positive of this.


User currently offlineDocLightning From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 19416 posts, RR: 58
Reply 15, posted (5 years 1 month 3 weeks 6 days 17 hours ago) and read 2536 times:



Quoting FLY2HMO (Reply 12):
Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 9):
PS. do NOT listen to FLY2HMO he has serious woman issues.

And don't listen to her 'cuz she's full of it.

*busts out the popcorn* This oughta be good...


User currently offlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 39707 posts, RR: 75
Reply 16, posted (5 years 1 month 3 weeks 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 2528 times:



Quoting Sv7887 (Thread starter):

You are still rather young and have many more women to sleep with before you start thinking about marriage. Focus on your career and take pride in being frugal.
A smart guy like you should have no problem finding a good wife.
Just stay away from the bossy, controlling type. If her mom hen-pecks her dad and wears the paints, chances are she'll do the same to you. So be aware.
Till then, wear protection and enjoy life.  wave 



Bring back the Concorde
User currently offlineMdsh00 From United States of America, joined May 2004, 4124 posts, RR: 8
Reply 17, posted (5 years 1 month 3 weeks 6 days 14 hours ago) and read 2499 times:



Quoting Sv7887 (Thread starter):
I'm not in any financial trouble, but that's because I've been a cheap ass for most of my life.

That is a good thing in many Indian circles (especially for Gujjus), but you already know that.  Smile

I guess the important thing is to look and figure out what you like, and how she compliments you. My thing is that I want someone to appreciate me for what I am and complement my weaknesses, and vice-versa, so that together we are better. I definitely didn't end up with the subservient type, and I am fine with that because sometimes a differing opinion is useful. But that's me.

I'm 26 and have found my wife, so I've been able to avoid the "when are you going to find a girl" talk that ALL Indian parents do. Too bad that now my similarly aged cousins get it more because of me.



"Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change."
User currently offlineSv7887 From United States of America, joined May 2008, 1025 posts, RR: 0
Reply 18, posted (5 years 1 month 3 weeks 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 2481 times:



Quoting Mdsh00 (Reply 17):
My thing is that I want someone to appreciate me for what I am and complement my weaknesses, and vice-versa, so that together we are better. I definitely didn't end up with the subservient type, and I am fine with that because sometimes a differing opinion is useful. But that's me.

I'm 26 and have found my wife, so I've been able to avoid the "when are you going to find a girl" talk that ALL Indian parents do. Too bad that now my similarly aged cousins get it more because of me.

Hey good to see you online! You basically nailed it for me. I don't want a robot, I want a co-captain. I get all the Aunties asking me, "Why haven't you found a nice girl beta? What is the problem? "

I'm the last of the mid 20's kids to get married so everyone is after me now. I think they all just wanted a wedding to fuss over.

Quoting Superfly (Reply 16):
You are still rather young and have many more women to sleep with before you start thinking about marriage. Focus on your career and take pride in being frugal.

LOL. I always love your posts. I'm not the sleeping type if you know what I mean. I could never do something like that outside of a committed relationship. I don't know, call me old fashioned in that sense.


User currently offlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 39707 posts, RR: 75
Reply 19, posted (5 years 1 month 3 weeks 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 2475 times:



Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 18):
I'm not the sleeping type if you know what I mean.
...I don't know, call me old fashioned in that sense.

No, you're not old fashion. Sleeping around is just not your thing and that's cool.
Just be careful and don't end up with some bossy controlling woman.
Many guys I know like yourself that are wholesome and don't sleep around tend to end up with very dominant bossy women.
What ever your hobbies are, DO NOT give them up because she said to do it.
I've seen this happen.



Bring back the Concorde
User currently offlineMCOflyer From United States of America, joined Jun 2006, 8664 posts, RR: 15
Reply 20, posted (5 years 1 month 3 weeks 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 2431 times:



Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 18):

LOL. I always love your posts. I'm not the sleeping type if you know what I mean.

Dude I'm in the same boat. Fortunately I'm in college where blonds grow on trees. I usually wind up sitting by someone vice versa that has something in common. I met an engaged girl that has couple things in common but to me it is a start in getting to know girls. Sooner or later a lady will ask me out and not let me go.

KH



Never be afraid to stand up for who you are.
User currently offlineSteeler83 From United States of America, joined Feb 2006, 9182 posts, RR: 18
Reply 21, posted (5 years 1 month 3 weeks 6 days 11 hours ago) and read 2411 times:



Quoting MCOflyer (Reply 20):
I'm in college where blonds grow on trees.

Blonds in college? As what, test subjects? (hahahaha, I tried to create another blond joke er punch line!)  Wink

Was it any good, did any o' yins guys laugh? Big grin



Do not bring stranger girt into your room. The stranger girt is dangerous, it will hurt your life.
User currently offlineIAirAllie From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 22, posted (5 years 1 month 3 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 2368 times:



Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 14):
Even then, I've found the smartest wealthy folks are the ones who live modestly and make their money work for them.

Very very true. My Grandparents are very wealthy they taught me to have a healthy relationship with money. Don't give it too much importance don't give it too little. It is a tool to do good things with not something to worship. Even though they can afford them they don't waste money on flashy items. For example my grandmother drives a Honda Minivan and does her own housework.

Quoting Sv7887 (Reply 18):
I don't know, call me old fashioned in that sense.

Nah I'll call you the type of guy who is going to be very happily married when he is ready. You have your head screwed on right!


User currently offlineGalapagapop From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 910 posts, RR: 4
Reply 23, posted (5 years 1 month 3 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 2359 times:

I for one, don't really understand the issue with "nice guys". I for one might be what some consider a "nice guy" and I've really had no problem finding women, and so much so that I've had to turn down several very tempting examples because I've already got a gorgeous GF. I consider myself a little bit like yourself understand your frustration and mindset. I'm not some arrogant prick who thinks he's the bomb for getting schwasted, or someone who follows the words my immortal NJ freshman year roommate who said, "A hole's a hole". I'm a major cheap ass, who is fairly reluctant to spend much, if any. In fact she and I often switch off who pays because we really just don't get the worth in spending much money on each other because we just love each other regardless and she may in fact dislike that social rule more than me. She's also fairly thrifty like myself, maybe even more so, so that may help as well. My current girlfriend was probably one of my best friends prior to us going out though. I'm not the type who's going to walk into a bar and go for the first opening on the blond at the end of the bar. I don't just don't think people are really that genuine in such a setting. Honest girls who are your friends first are probably your best bet. It is only that way one can see them when, their not trying get some, especially without the social lube that is alcohol. Unless your planning on being drunk 24/7 with them, the other side may be the more important in that sense.

Although I must concur with statements above, that no matter how many friends that are girls you have, and no matter how best of friends you are, rarely is any of the relationship advice they give credible.


User currently offlineSlider From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 6787 posts, RR: 34
Reply 24, posted (5 years 1 month 3 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 2352 times:



Quoting Sv7887 (Thread starter):
I guess they have a point, I'm 26 and not getting any younger.

 redflag 

Don't wish your life away. No disrespect, because I was married at 26 and had a kid, but don't rush things.

Don't overanalyze things. You'll find someone when you least expect it and usually when you're not looking.


25 Mirrodie : As I read this, for a moment I thought I was listening to my bro-in-law, who is due to be married in 2 months time. He's a young Jewish doctor and hi
26 Superfly : WTF ! ! ! ! She said that? Traditionally, the brides family pays and if she is already putting those kinds of demands on him, he should make her find
27 FLY2HMO : She wouldn't get enough of me afterwards
28 IAirAllie : No thanks, I only date grown men not little boys with anger issues.
29 FLY2HMO : Young,strong, and vigorous little boys don't need Viagra sweetheart
30 MCOflyer : I fall into that category. If you ever get into Orlando, send me an IM. Hunter
31 IAirAllie : And grown men don't need mommies, darlin'
32 FLY2HMO : Well with women like you, what little boy would ever want a mom? Hunter is a grown man, your type apparently, be nice and go give him some lovin'
33 IAirAllie : FLY2HMO You crack me up. I gotta hand it to you, you are a sport. You've gotta stop letting your life revolve around women. We're awesome I know but t
34 ShyFlyer : That's what she said!
35 MCOflyer : Thanks man. KH
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