Springbok747 From Australia, joined Nov 2004, 4387 posts, RR: 13 Posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 7842 times:
I let a work colleague (well an ex-colleague as I don't work in that place anymore) stay with me for a few days. He is really not my friend, even though he considers himself to be my friend now that he has been living on my couch for a week. He said his house lease was up and that he was inbetween jobs..so he desperately needed a place to stay and asked me if he could stay for 2 days..that was it, now it has been a week since he has moved in with his stuff and my apartment is a mess. He is really filthy, has odd sleeping habits (he wont get up till 9 or 10 am and goes to bed at 2 or 3 am) and for the past few days he has even stopped washing his dishes. I am quite the opposite..I am very disciplined and have to get to university at 8am everyday. This is getting quite bothersome now..to the point where I am having to compromise my lifestyle in my own house!
So yesterday I asked him how long he intends to stay and told him to start cleaning the place. But the place is still a mess and he has no idea when he intends to get a place for himself...'I'll start looking for a place next week' was the answer.
I can't take this anymore..and I need some ideas how to get rid of this guy. I have been a gracious host so far but not anymore.
Any ideas? Or should I just tell him to pack his things and leave?
Tell him to leave.
He told you 2 days and he's overstayed his welcome.
I knew a guy that would always come over my house unannounced. I'd put on Whitesnake and other 80s hair metal and he'd leave. He hated that kind of music and it worked in getting him out without me having to ask.
StasisLAX From United States of America, joined Jul 2007, 3266 posts, RR: 6 Reply 5, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 7770 times:
Quoting Springbok747 (Thread starter): So yesterday I asked him how long he intends to stay and told him to start cleaning the place. But the place is still a mess and he has no idea when he intends to get a place for himself...'I'll start looking for a place next week' was the answer.
Your former work colleague sounds like a text-book sociopath to me - throw him out!
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety!" B.Franklin
You need to just calmly tell that he needs to leave. Give him two days to arrange something else (probably will be just like what he did to you) but after that you are moving his stuff out.
Just be firm and don't give in to "OK but just give me one more week".
You were nice to help him and are right to assert that he go now.
I don’t know that I am unafraid to be myself, but it is hard to be somebody else. -W. Shatner
If you want to real nasty (and I have done this before), while he's asleep, change the locks (if he has keys), and while he's asleep, toss his gear out the door. When he goes out to get it, lock the doors.
Or just tell him he's gonna have to start paying some rent...
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Springbok747 From Australia, joined Nov 2004, 4387 posts, RR: 13 Reply 9, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 1 day ago) and read 7696 times:
Thanks for the replies guys. When I get home today I'm gonna tell him to move out by this weekend. The guy was still asleep when I left for uni now..and its almost 10am. He doesnt even have transport..so I have no idea how he is going to carry all that stuff (a few bags and boxes) when he finally goes.
Quoting Kiwiinoz (Reply 8): I would imagine he has already outstayed his welcome with real friends and family and has now decided to sponge off you.
The funny thing is his girlfriend stays about 200kms away..but she is with her parents and when I asked him why he didnt move in with her..his reply was that he didn't want to bother her family and that she asked him not to come. WTF?! What kind of a girlfriend is that?! My guess is he must have sponged off her also and her parents must have thrown him out.
Virgin744 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 903 posts, RR: 5 Reply 11, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 7666 times:
Talk to him and explain that your (imaginary brother/cousin/sister/aunt/uncle/whatever family member) is coming to stay with you for a few days and he needs to leave as you dont have room. Say it politely, sorry but family is family and you will need t leave in 3 days as you have outstayed the so-called 2 days you were expected to stay for.
and then get up and walk into the kitchen and do the dishes!
AustinAirport From United States of America, joined Feb 2007, 643 posts, RR: 1 Reply 12, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 7661 times:
Leave this thread up on your computer, and then ask him to, I dont know check the internet for something, and he will see it and then you can be like.. "Oh, you saw that didn't you" and pretend like you're all sad and stuff.
He will get the message and leave, then when he walks out the door, shut it, and freaking start dancing with joy!
Whoever said you can do anything you set your mind to has obviously never tried to slam a revolving door!!!
SOBHI51 From Saudi Arabia, joined Jun 2003, 3008 posts, RR: 17 Reply 14, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 7629 times:
Lets see a work colleague who is not really one, a friend who is not a friend, a messy guy, filthy, does not share house duties, i am sure he does not pay for his food either, wanted two days hospitality but now he is there over a week. I don't see anything wrong in this picture
Man i would have kicked him out on the third day at 9AM even if he was still asleep
Kmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 8 Reply 15, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 7599 times:
Go to the classified ads in your local paper, and circle a number of apartments/room shares/whatever...then leave it open for him with a note attached saying that you thought you'd help him out by starting his search for him....
'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
Superfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 38485 posts, RR: 80 Reply 16, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 7589 times:
Quoting Springbok747 (Reply 9): I have no idea how he is going to carry all that stuff (a few bags and boxes) when he finally goes.
The same way it go there in the first place. That is his problem, not yours.
Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 15): Go to the classified ads in your local paper, and circle a number of apartments/room shares/whatever...then leave it open for him with a note attached saying that you thought you'd help him out by starting his search for him....
Given his situation, he should at least have some respect for your house and clean up.
Teo747 From United States of America, joined Nov 2006, 132 posts, RR: 0 Reply 17, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 7582 times:
It's tough to tell someone to get out, even if he isn't really a friend or even a close friend, but I think I would have lost it at the "I'll start looking next week" line. I used to have a bit of a "I'll do it tomorrow/next week" mentality, although fortunately I have grown up since then. As I know from personal experience, the thing about next week is that 7 days from now, it will still be just as far in the future as it is today! I can see how you might be nice and let him stay if he really was looking and hadn't had any luck yet, but this guy is just taking advantage of you.
TSS From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 2869 posts, RR: 5 Reply 20, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 19 hours ago) and read 7484 times:
Quoting TUNisia (Reply 18): Become a nudist and invite other nudists over for a game of Twister.
Which could go horribly wrong if he's a closet nudist himself.
Don't mince words, just tell him he's got to go. Use the "relative is coming to visit" excuse if necessary, but don't let him stay there any longer. Beyond a certain point of time, he becomes a legal resident of YOUR home and it takes a whole mess of crap to get him out.
Able to kill active threads stone dead with a single post!
Phoenix9 From Canada, joined Aug 2007, 2546 posts, RR: 8 Reply 23, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 19 hours ago) and read 7464 times:
Quoting TSS (Reply 22): Because you allowed him to move in without signing a lease or any other papers defining his length of stay, monetary compensation to you, or anything else related to his staying there.
Thanks. Never saw it from that angle!
Life only makes sense when you look at it backwards.
Revelation From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 10442 posts, RR: 20 Reply 24, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 7401 times:
Quoting Superfly (Reply 3): I knew a guy that would always come over my house unannounced. I'd put on Whitesnake and other 80s hair metal and he'd leave. He hated that kind of music and it worked in getting him out without me having to ask.
That's cruel and unusual punishment!
I was going to suggest cooking up a big kettle of baked beans and stink him out, but it seems that wouldn't bother him!
Excessive farting usually gets rid of female house guests who've overstayed their welcome.. Hopefully you haven't got one who is in to excessive farting!
Inspiration, move me brightly!
25 Superfly: My friends call me a musical sadist. One of my buddies is a diehard Beatles fan and I love torturing him with lounge versions of Beatles covers. Play
26 HAWK21M: Convey it staright.....Alternatively tell him you have some guests comming over & he needs to move.Ask some friends to visit for a few hrs. regds MEL.