Springbok747 From Australia, joined Nov 2004, 4387 posts, RR: 13 Posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 7842 times:
I let a work colleague (well an ex-colleague as I don't work in that place anymore) stay with me for a few days. He is really not my friend, even though he considers himself to be my friend now that he has been living on my couch for a week. He said his house lease was up and that he was inbetween jobs..so he desperately needed a place to stay and asked me if he could stay for 2 days..that was it, now it has been a week since he has moved in with his stuff and my apartment is a mess. He is really filthy, has odd sleeping habits (he wont get up till 9 or 10 am and goes to bed at 2 or 3 am) and for the past few days he has even stopped washing his dishes. I am quite the opposite..I am very disciplined and have to get to university at 8am everyday. This is getting quite bothersome now..to the point where I am having to compromise my lifestyle in my own house!
So yesterday I asked him how long he intends to stay and told him to start cleaning the place. But the place is still a mess and he has no idea when he intends to get a place for himself...'I'll start looking for a place next week' was the answer.
I can't take this anymore..and I need some ideas how to get rid of this guy. I have been a gracious host so far but not anymore.
Any ideas? Or should I just tell him to pack his things and leave?
2H4 From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 8950 posts, RR: 62 Reply 1, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 7841 times:
Or, if you want to be friendlier about it, invite a different friend to stay with you for a few days and use that as an excuse to enact a deadline and kick him out.
Tell him to leave.
He told you 2 days and he's overstayed his welcome.
I knew a guy that would always come over my house unannounced. I'd put on Whitesnake and other 80s hair metal and he'd leave. He hated that kind of music and it worked in getting him out without me having to ask.
JBirdAV8r From United States of America, joined Jun 2001, 4459 posts, RR: 22 Reply 4, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 7787 times:
Yeah, that's a bad sign right there. That's kind of like "I'll quit smoking after I finish this one."
Quoting 2H4 (Reply 1): Or, if you want to be friendlier about it, invite a different friend to stay with you for a few days and use that as an excuse to enact a deadline and kick him out.
That's a good idea...or someone that would make him uncomfortable. Like your parents maybe.
StasisLAX From United States of America, joined Jul 2007, 3266 posts, RR: 6 Reply 5, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 7770 times:
Quoting Springbok747 (Thread starter): So yesterday I asked him how long he intends to stay and told him to start cleaning the place. But the place is still a mess and he has no idea when he intends to get a place for himself...'I'll start looking for a place next week' was the answer.
Your former work colleague sounds like a text-book sociopath to me - throw him out!
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety!" B.Franklin
Tugger From United States of America, joined Apr 2006, 4629 posts, RR: 7 Reply 6, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 7763 times:
Quoting Springbok747 (Thread starter): Any ideas? Or should I just tell him to pack his things and leave?
You need to just calmly tell that he needs to leave. Give him two days to arrange something else (probably will be just like what he did to you) but after that you are moving his stuff out.
Just be firm and don't give in to "OK but just give me one more week".
You were nice to help him and are right to assert that he go now.
Tugg
I don’t know that I am unafraid to be myself, but it is hard to be somebody else. -W. Shatner
Don81603 From Canada, joined Jul 2005, 1185 posts, RR: 0 Reply 7, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 1 day ago) and read 7731 times:
Quoting Springbok747 (Thread starter): Any ideas? Or should I just tell him to pack his things and leave?
If you want to real nasty (and I have done this before), while he's asleep, change the locks (if he has keys), and while he's asleep, toss his gear out the door. When he goes out to get it, lock the doors.
Or just tell him he's gonna have to start paying some rent...
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Kiwiinoz From New Zealand, joined Oct 2005, 2029 posts, RR: 5 Reply 8, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 1 day ago) and read 7732 times:
Given that the "friends" connection with this guy is not that strong, I would imagine he has already outstayed his welcome with real friends and family and has now decided to sponge off you.
Give him one day's notice to find another friend's couch and kick him out
Springbok747 From Australia, joined Nov 2004, 4387 posts, RR: 13 Reply 9, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 1 day ago) and read 7696 times:
Thanks for the replies guys. When I get home today I'm gonna tell him to move out by this weekend. The guy was still asleep when I left for uni now..and its almost 10am. He doesnt even have transport..so I have no idea how he is going to carry all that stuff (a few bags and boxes) when he finally goes.
Quoting Kiwiinoz (Reply 8): I would imagine he has already outstayed his welcome with real friends and family and has now decided to sponge off you.
The funny thing is his girlfriend stays about 200kms away..but she is with her parents and when I asked him why he didnt move in with her..his reply was that he didn't want to bother her family and that she asked him not to come. WTF?! What kind of a girlfriend is that?! My guess is he must have sponged off her also and her parents must have thrown him out.
Staralliance38 From United States of America, joined Jan 2008, 1445 posts, RR: 4 Reply 10, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 1 day ago) and read 7694 times:
Sounds like a Friends episode where Chandler couldn't get rid of his weird roomate Eddie . I suggest watching that episode heheh
Virgin744 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 903 posts, RR: 5 Reply 11, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 7666 times:
Talk to him and explain that your (imaginary brother/cousin/sister/aunt/uncle/whatever family member) is coming to stay with you for a few days and he needs to leave as you dont have room. Say it politely, sorry but family is family and you will need t leave in 3 days as you have outstayed the so-called 2 days you were expected to stay for.
and then get up and walk into the kitchen and do the dishes!
AustinAirport From United States of America, joined Feb 2007, 643 posts, RR: 1 Reply 12, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 7661 times:
Leave this thread up on your computer, and then ask him to, I dont know check the internet for something, and he will see it and then you can be like.. "Oh, you saw that didn't you" and pretend like you're all sad and stuff.
He will get the message and leave, then when he walks out the door, shut it, and freaking start dancing with joy!
Whoever said you can do anything you set your mind to has obviously never tried to slam a revolving door!!!
LTU932 From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 13864 posts, RR: 51 Reply 13, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 7633 times:
Just tell him that he needs to go immediately, and that he should rather go stay at his parents' house or something. If he doesn't comply, tell him that you'll call the police.
SOBHI51 From Saudi Arabia, joined Jun 2003, 3008 posts, RR: 17 Reply 14, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 23 hours ago) and read 7629 times:
Lets see a work colleague who is not really one, a friend who is not a friend, a messy guy, filthy, does not share house duties, i am sure he does not pay for his food either, wanted two days hospitality but now he is there over a week. I don't see anything wrong in this picture
Man i would have kicked him out on the third day at 9AM even if he was still asleep
Kmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 8 Reply 15, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 7599 times:
Go to the classified ads in your local paper, and circle a number of apartments/room shares/whatever...then leave it open for him with a note attached saying that you thought you'd help him out by starting his search for him....
'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
Superfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 38485 posts, RR: 80 Reply 16, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 7589 times:
Quoting Springbok747 (Reply 9): I have no idea how he is going to carry all that stuff (a few bags and boxes) when he finally goes.
The same way it go there in the first place. That is his problem, not yours.
Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 15): Go to the classified ads in your local paper, and circle a number of apartments/room shares/whatever...then leave it open for him with a note attached saying that you thought you'd help him out by starting his search for him....
Good idea.
Given his situation, he should at least have some respect for your house and clean up.
Teo747 From United States of America, joined Nov 2006, 132 posts, RR: 0 Reply 17, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 7582 times:
It's tough to tell someone to get out, even if he isn't really a friend or even a close friend, but I think I would have lost it at the "I'll start looking next week" line. I used to have a bit of a "I'll do it tomorrow/next week" mentality, although fortunately I have grown up since then. As I know from personal experience, the thing about next week is that 7 days from now, it will still be just as far in the future as it is today! I can see how you might be nice and let him stay if he really was looking and hadn't had any luck yet, but this guy is just taking advantage of you.
TUNisia From United States of America, joined Aug 2004, 1834 posts, RR: 5 Reply 18, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 7540 times:
Become a nudist and invite other nudists over for a game of Twister.
Someday the sun will shine down on me in some faraway place - Mahalia Jackson
TSS From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 2869 posts, RR: 5 Reply 20, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 19 hours ago) and read 7484 times:
Quoting TUNisia (Reply 18): Become a nudist and invite other nudists over for a game of Twister.
Which could go horribly wrong if he's a closet nudist himself.
Don't mince words, just tell him he's got to go. Use the "relative is coming to visit" excuse if necessary, but don't let him stay there any longer. Beyond a certain point of time, he becomes a legal resident of YOUR home and it takes a whole mess of crap to get him out.
Able to kill active threads stone dead with a single post!
TSS From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 2869 posts, RR: 5 Reply 22, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 19 hours ago) and read 7470 times:
Quoting Phoenix9 (Reply 21): How is that possible if he is not paying rent or contributing in any other way?
Because you allowed him to move in without signing a lease or any other papers defining his length of stay, monetary compensation to you, or anything else related to his staying there.
Able to kill active threads stone dead with a single post!
Phoenix9 From Canada, joined Aug 2007, 2546 posts, RR: 8 Reply 23, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 19 hours ago) and read 7464 times:
Quoting TSS (Reply 22): Because you allowed him to move in without signing a lease or any other papers defining his length of stay, monetary compensation to you, or anything else related to his staying there.
Thanks. Never saw it from that angle!
Life only makes sense when you look at it backwards.
Revelation From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 10442 posts, RR: 20 Reply 24, posted (3 years 10 months 2 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 7401 times:
Quoting Superfly (Reply 3): I knew a guy that would always come over my house unannounced. I'd put on Whitesnake and other 80s hair metal and he'd leave. He hated that kind of music and it worked in getting him out without me having to ask.
That's cruel and unusual punishment!
I was going to suggest cooking up a big kettle of baked beans and stink him out, but it seems that wouldn't bother him!
Excessive farting usually gets rid of female house guests who've overstayed their welcome.. Hopefully you haven't got one who is in to excessive farting!
Inspiration, move me brightly!
25 Superfly: My friends call me a musical sadist. One of my buddies is a diehard Beatles fan and I love torturing him with lounge versions of Beatles covers. Play
26 HAWK21M: Convey it staright.....Alternatively tell him you have some guests comming over & he needs to move.Ask some friends to visit for a few hrs. regds MEL.
28 A332: Just do this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvJeATp31dw Done.
29 Ronglimeng: My sympathies are with you. It is tough when you are probably both a nice guy and non-confrontational. That's likely why you were targeted. Once you d
30 BCAL: Always has worked for me when I wanted to get rid of an unwanted house guest. Another alternative is to say you have to go to [hospital/see your moth
31 Baroque: You do realise if you do not keep us posted on "progress", one of us will come round and pull yer arms orf?
32 2H4: Actually, I was thinking we could all show up at his place and crash there for awhile. 2H4
33 IMissPiedmont: I think that might just be a little, shall I say, WIMPY! Grow a set and tell him to leave right that second.
34 Aero145: I support that plan. A.net meet at Springbok747’s place!
35 7324ever: Wears the address Id love to join! Isn't "Closet Nudest" and oxymoron? I had the same problem with a friend of mine. I just stopped buying toilet pap
36 Springbok747: Ok progress report: I told him to leave today...and threatened to get the cops involved..must have worked..he has packed all his stuff and is arrangin
37 Revelation: Some may take you up on that if you post a picture to the "would you hit it" thread!
38 Danfearn77: Good on you. What he has done is taken advantage of your generosity and that i rude. I would have a problem as i am really shy and would have buggere
39 Danfearn77: Forgot to say, i'll be there 2 days, max! I promise!
40 Ihadapheo: A meet at Springbok747's place!! woo hoo, I now this guy in Phoenix who would love to make it to the party. IHAP
41 TSS: Oh no, not at all. You'd be surprised at the number of people who'll renounce clothing at the slightest provocation. Unfortunately, they're almost al
42 VarigB707: First off, do not get the police involved, unless there is a real situation in which an emergency is required. Since you let the person in, there is n
43 Phoenix9: Ummm...I don't think you read rest of the thread:
44 Baroque: Well at least we all have a script, although I am not sure how some of the varying scripts would go if all played at the same time. Well done. Carefu
45 Springbok747: Wohooooooooooooo he is gone! I am a free man again Oh now I need to get back to cleaning up this mess...anyone care to help? Oh yeah
46 HAWK21M: Congrats..... Pity you can't share drinks vide the net regds MEL.
47 NZ107: Too bad I cut ADL out of my itinerary Maybe if I get a super cheap TT deal I'll come knocking on your door
Sponsor Message: 
From Australia, joined Nov 2004, 4387 posts, 
From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 8950 posts, 
From France, joined Nov 2004, 2593 posts, 
From Thailand, joined May 2000, 38485 posts, 
From Canada, joined Jul 2005, 1185 posts, 
From New Zealand, joined Oct 2005, 2029 posts, 
From Germany, joined Jan 2006, 13864 posts, 
From Saudi Arabia, joined Jun 2003, 3008 posts, 
From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, 
Printer friendly format 
