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I Need Help With A Gay Guy...  
User currently offline7324ever From Serbia, joined May 2009, 563 posts, RR: 2
Posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 4559 times:

No its not that type of thread...

I have a man in his early 30s as a client and for 6 months I have been showing him houses and he just found one and now he put in an offer and got the house. Know im 28 and single and in his his words "A very good looking gentlemen". I think he has been getting the wrong impression and we are half way through closing and sence a lot of the papers are dying down he has been wanting to kind of setting up dates and I am not gay but I really don't know how to tell him that I am not and if I word it wrong he can sue me for discrimination. So I don't want to hurt his feelings and at the same time have him trying to sue me. Does any one have any ideas on how I can say I am not interested?


Anything the US and EU build the Russians do it better! i.e. TU-144 vs Concorde and TU-154 vs The 727...
64 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineDtwclipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 4550 times:

Well, first we need a picture of you!

Quoting 7324ever (Thread starter):
Does any one have any ideas on how I can say I am not interested?

Tell him you don't socialize with clients.


User currently offline7324ever From Serbia, joined May 2009, 563 posts, RR: 2
Reply 2, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 4535 times:



Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 1):
Well, first we need a picture of you!

Quoting 7324ever (Thread starter):
Does any one have any ideas on how I can say I am not interested?

Tell him you don't socialize with clients.

All get right on that!


But I can't say that because his reasons for meeting are usually house related but then he tries to plan out golf dates or movies and it is very awkward and I always say I am busy and I feel bad but I really am not like that...



Anything the US and EU build the Russians do it better! i.e. TU-144 vs Concorde and TU-154 vs The 727...
User currently offlineDtwclipper From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 4524 times:



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 2):
But I can't say that because his reasons for meeting are usually house related but then he tries to plan out golf dates or movies and it is very awkward and I always say I am busy and I feel bad but I really am not like that...

Ok, if you like the guy as a buddy, have a man date, go golfing, whatever. If he hits on you just tell him that you're not gay. Just do it as not to embarrass him. You can never have to many friends.


User currently offlineFLY2HMO From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 4520 times:



Quoting 7324ever (Thread starter):
and I am not gay

Dude seriously, just tell him "I'm not gay", or I guess a more politically correct way (as much as I hate that stuff  banghead  ) Just tell him you date women.

Quoting 7324ever (Thread starter):
trying to sue me

I don't see how he could. It's not like you're denying him getting the house because he's gay, you're denying him a date.


User currently offline7324ever From Serbia, joined May 2009, 563 posts, RR: 2
Reply 5, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 4489 times:



Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 3):

Ok, if you like the guy as a buddy, have a man date, go golfing, whatever. If he hits on you just tell him that you're not gay. Just do it as not to embarrass him. You can never have to many friends.

Thanks, Would you find it offensive at all if a guy you liked turned you down?

Quoting FLY2HMO (Reply 4):
Dude seriously, just tell him "I'm not gay", or I guess a more politically correct way (as much as I hate that stuff banghead ) Just tell him you date women.

I believe the PC way is *Person with a different but perfectly acceptable life style*

But the issue is if I say it the wrong way or he feels sad then he can sue and say I did it in derogatory manner...



Anything the US and EU build the Russians do it better! i.e. TU-144 vs Concorde and TU-154 vs The 727...
User currently offlineCurtisMan From Canada, joined Jun 2005, 1002 posts, RR: 50
Reply 6, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 4489 times:

Just be honest. Nothing is better than the truth.

Are you sure he is asking you on a date? Perhaps he is just enjoying your company and wants to hang out with you. If you like his company then go with him - you might make a good friend.


I see you are in Serbia and I have no idea what kind of laws you have there. But if you can be sued for telling someone you are not gay then that is quite an interesting law. I would guess that Serbian law does not forbid you from telling the truth.


Honesty is best.

Cheers!

[Edited 2009-07-14 18:28:23]


Citizen of the World
User currently offline2H4 From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 8956 posts, RR: 60
Reply 7, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 4464 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW
DATABASE EDITOR

Casually mention your upcoming weekend plans with your girlfriend.

2H4



Intentionally Left Blank
User currently offlineAznMadSci From United States of America, joined Dec 2007, 3714 posts, RR: 6
Reply 8, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 4462 times:



Quoting 7324ever (Thread starter):
Does any one have any ideas on how I can say I am not interested?

If he's told you he has a plan for a dungeon, then RUN FOR THE HILLS, BOY!  eek 

Drop subtle hints that you dig chicks, and not the type of chicks with sticks! If he asks you what are you doing for the weekend, just make up something like hanging out with the guys and meeting up with the gals. He should get the hint from that. Just don't say "Dude, sorry I'm not gay" when he asks that question. The only time to be blnt is if he has his hands in your pants. Otherwise, be flattered and keep it professional.



The journey of life is not based on the accomplishments, but the experience.
User currently offline7324ever From Serbia, joined May 2009, 563 posts, RR: 2
Reply 9, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 4427 times:



Quoting CurtisMan (Reply 6):
Just be honest. Nothing is better than the truth.

Are you sure he is asking you on a date? Perhaps he is just enjoying your company and wants to hang out with you. If you like his company then go with him - you might make a good friend.


I see you are in Serbia and I have no idea what kind of laws you have there. But if you can be sued for telling someone you are not gay then that is quite an interesting law. I would guess that Serbian law does not forbid you from telling the truth.


Honesty is best.

No I live in the States were you can easily be sued for that.

I know he is asking me and flirting he stopped calling me Zack and gave me a pet name "TB" I don't know what it stands for but I have some ideas. And he says "If your not doing anything Saturday night I know a great little Italian place that has the BEST spaghetti" (but that in the most non rude gay way)

Quoting 2H4 (Reply 7):
Casually mention your upcoming weekend plans with your girlfriend.

2H4

Wish I could have tried that before I knew he was gay but I said I was single pretty much on are first meeting. Plus when he has put an offer on a 700k plus house and put more than half down and is pre approved for the rest of the loan  cloudnine 

Quoting AznMadSci (Reply 8):
If he's told you he has a plan for a dungeon, then RUN FOR THE HILLS, BOY! eek

Drop subtle hints that you dig chicks, and not the type of chicks with sticks! If he asks you what are you doing for the weekend, just make up something like hanging out with the guys and meeting up with the gals. He should get the hint from that. Just don't say "Dude, sorry I'm not gay" when he asks that question. The only time to be blnt is if he has his hands in your pants. Otherwise, be flattered and keep it professional.

No but the house he wanted, the master suite has a shower with room for 3+ and the floor is reinforced oak same with the walls for those nights you just cant help it  Wink  duck 

But really I try the chick thing and he giggles and scoots closer... One time he "Dropped" a pen and bent between my legs to pick it up...

I like the idea of not saying it flat out



Anything the US and EU build the Russians do it better! i.e. TU-144 vs Concorde and TU-154 vs The 727...
User currently offlinePhoenix9 From Canada, joined Aug 2007, 2546 posts, RR: 8
Reply 10, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 4415 times:



Quoting AznMadSci (Reply 8):
If he's told you he has a plan for a dungeon

"It puts the lotion on its skin......"  duck   boxedin 



Life only makes sense when you look at it backwards.
User currently offline2H4 From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 8956 posts, RR: 60
Reply 11, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 4412 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW
DATABASE EDITOR



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 9):
Wish I could have tried that before I knew he was gay but I said I was single pretty much on are first meeting.

No problem, just talk about the girl your buddy is setting you up with this weekend, and how much you're looking forward to going out with her.

2H4



Intentionally Left Blank
User currently offline7324ever From Serbia, joined May 2009, 563 posts, RR: 2
Reply 12, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 4399 times:



Quoting Phoenix9 (Reply 10):

"It puts the lotion on its skin......" duck boxedin

Phoenix you know how to make my day!

Quoting 2H4 (Reply 11):
No problem, just talk about the girl your buddy is setting you up with this weekend, and how much you're looking forward to going out with her.

2H4

Thanks 2H4! But how do I make up a girl outa know were?



Anything the US and EU build the Russians do it better! i.e. TU-144 vs Concorde and TU-154 vs The 727...
User currently offlineUal747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 13, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 3 hours ago) and read 4385 times:

Ummm, okay:

1st and formost, YOU can be fired for fraternizing with clients.

2nd, if you don't like him in either way, then just say that you'd rather keep a professional relationship since he is your client.

He will react in one of two ways:

1. He will respect that, and move on.

2. You'll lose a sale, and he will be upset, but he cannot sue you for wanting to keep the relationship professional. If YOU feel like you are being harassed, it's more YOU who can sue.

Just because he's gay doesn't mean he wants to screw you. But you know, I'd really have to observe your behavior with him to see if you are giving off any kind of "I'm interested vibe" whether intentional or not.

Those are you options, and you cannot be sued. End of story. But I will tell you this, you start going golfing with him, and hanging out with him, the relationship will be even more awkward if he really is hitting on you. But again, I've never heard of anyone being sued for turning someone down for unwanted sexual advances, but in order to know if that is what he is doing, you'd have to hang out with him in a non-professional environment, which then opens up the pandora's box.

Your call, I just say keep it simple, keep it professional. If you want to hang out with him, then tell him you need to end the professional relationship as it conflicts with your work ethics.

That's how you deal with it. You bring personal relationships into any business, and it's bound to get, "hairy."

The absolute worst thing you can do is just let it ride, giving him mixed signals. He'll only get frustrated, and you will too.

Don't follow other's advice and say, "Umm, I'm not gay." I'd find that offensive. The professional thing to do would be to follow what I said above. Because, what IF he's not hitting on you, and he just wants to hang? I don't hit on everything that walks. I might look, but I don't hit on them, and I keep it professional when doing business.

UAL

[Edited 2009-07-14 19:30:32]

User currently offline2H4 From United States of America, joined Oct 2004, 8956 posts, RR: 60
Reply 14, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 4366 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW
DATABASE EDITOR



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 12):
Thanks 2H4! But how do I make up a girl outa know were?

She's a cute brunette with Lisa-Loeb style glasses. She's a freelance graphic artist, so she doesn't get out much. Your friend Kevin went to school with her and thinks you two would be a great match. You talked with her on the phone the other night for an hour and she seems really cool, so you're really looking forward to dinner with her on Saturday night.

Like that.

2H4



Intentionally Left Blank
User currently offlineUal747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 15, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 4364 times:



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 9):
"TB"

Tuberculosis?

Total Bottom?

LOLOLOL.


User currently offlineCurtisMan From Canada, joined Jun 2005, 1002 posts, RR: 50
Reply 16, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 4358 times:

Well I will disagree with a lot of what is said here - don't make up a fake girl ... lies do not show professionalism and it lowers your own personal ethics.

The truth is all that matters.

Now that doesn't mean mentioning gay or anything like that. Just be professional and decline any of his invites - you don't need a reason.

Be honest - you'll benefit in the long run.

Cheers!



Citizen of the World
User currently offlineSXDFC From United States of America, joined Dec 2007, 2442 posts, RR: 23
Reply 17, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 4344 times:



Quoting 2H4 (Reply 14):

2H4 just described my type of girl!

A brunette!!!  bigthumbsup  (not the Lisa Loeb though!)

In most cases honesty works the best, but in this case, your better off sticking to 2H4's advice!!

2H4 make me up a GF! =P



ALL views, opinions expressed are mine ONLY and are NOT representative of those shared by Southwest Airlines Co.
User currently offlineAznMadSci From United States of America, joined Dec 2007, 3714 posts, RR: 6
Reply 18, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 4340 times:



Quoting 2H4 (Reply 14):
She's a cute brunette with Lisa-Loeb style glasses. She's a freelance graphic artist, so she doesn't get out much.

She sounds like a lipstick bohemian chic lesbian!



The journey of life is not based on the accomplishments, but the experience.
User currently offline7324ever From Serbia, joined May 2009, 563 posts, RR: 2
Reply 19, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 4331 times:



Quoting 2H4 (Reply 14):
She's a cute brunette with Lisa-Loeb style glasses. She's a freelance graphic artist, so she doesn't get out much. Your friend Kevin went to school with her and thinks you two would be a great match. You talked with her on the phone the other night for an hour and she seems really cool, so you're really looking forward to dinner with her on Saturday night.

Like that.

Perfect and I think I will use it. Its specific but not to rehearsed and not to specific as to ask questions. I really appreciate the help!



Quoting Ual747 (Reply 15):
Tuberculosis?

Total Bottom?

LOLOLOL.

I was thinking Tight Bottom from what he was hinting at...

Quoting CurtisMan (Reply 16):
Well I will disagree with a lot of what is said here - don't make up a fake girl ... lies do not show professionalism and it lowers your own personal ethics.

The truth is all that matters.

Now that doesn't mean mentioning gay or anything like that. Just be professional and decline any of his invites - you don't need a reason.

Be honest - you'll benefit in the long run.

Thats the other side IM worried about and its hard to get around... but who knows i really need help on it.

Quoting Ual747 (Reply 13):
Ummm, okay:

It is a professional thing and a real legal issue I have seen people sued over less which scares me...



Anything the US and EU build the Russians do it better! i.e. TU-144 vs Concorde and TU-154 vs The 727...
User currently offlineTSS From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 3070 posts, RR: 5
Reply 20, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 2 hours ago) and read 4331 times:



Quoting Ual747 (Reply 13):

I couldn't have put it better myself.
 bigthumbsup 

I will add this, though: Sometimes straight guys are so obviously and comically uncomfortable being around a gay guy, it's very hard not to yank their chain a little bit just for laughs. This is a mean and unnecessary thing to do, but sometimes it is very tempting.



Able to kill active threads stone dead with a single post!
User currently offlineUal747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 4292 times:



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 19):
It is a professional thing and a real legal issue I have seen people sued over less which scares me...

You CANNOT be sued for turning someone down on a date.....I don't get where you are getting this from, but unless you've done something you haven't told us about, I fail to see any reason where you can be sued for not going on a date with someone. If that were the case, you'd have a whole lot of pathetic straight fellas suing the crap out of hot women, regardless of whether they were in a business relationship with them or not.

It is not a legal issue unless you have something else you want to share other than what you've told us.

UAL


User currently offlineUal747 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 22, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 2 days 1 hour ago) and read 4289 times:



Quoting TSS (Reply 20):
I will add this, though: Sometimes straight guys are so obviously and comically uncomfortable being around a gay guy, it's very hard not to yank their chain a little bit just for laughs. This is a mean and unnecessary thing to do, but sometimes it is very tempting.

Oh yes, it can be fun. Especially when they are about to break out in hives because they are near a gay guy. It's rather funny just to make them itch just a touch more.

Kind of sad, but why not make the sadness a little funny for yourself eh?

 Smile


User currently offlineDocLightning From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 20336 posts, RR: 59
Reply 23, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 4214 times:



Quoting 7324ever (Thread starter):


I have a man in his early 30s as a client and for 6 months I have been showing him houses and he just found one and now he put in an offer and got the house. Know im 28 and single and in his his words "A very good looking gentlemen". I think he has been getting the wrong impression and we are half way through closing and sence a lot of the papers are dying down he has been wanting to kind of setting up dates and I am not gay but I really don't know how to tell him that I am not and if I word it wrong he can sue me for discrimination. So I don't want to hurt his feelings and at the same time have him trying to sue me. Does any one have any ideas on how I can say I am not interested?

Mention your girlfriend. And from now on, wear a wedding ring to work.

And you cannot get sued for discrimination because you turned him down for a date. Be pleasant, be polite, be distant and not too friendly, and bring up your girlfriend.


User currently offlineAirframeAS From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 14150 posts, RR: 24
Reply 24, posted (5 years 5 months 1 week 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 4207 times:



Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 1):
Tell him you don't socialize with clients.

I second that. It would be a conflict of interest. That totally gets you off the hook completely.



A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
25 ADXMatt : There must be more to this story then what has been disclosed. I don't see how you can be sued for turning down a date. To the other points... It has
26 7324ever : Oh yea me and him played sweaty naked mud tackle football and oiled up are 6 pacs and over bulging muscles and took a trip to our dungeon and did eve
27 KiwiRob : This is becoming pretty complicated when all you need to do is tell him you're not gay. How difficult can that be, all this crap about being fired or
28 LHR380 : Thats life, people turn you down. Just say im flattered but im not gay. Got a few of friends that are happy to be found cute/hot by guys, BUT only da
29 IAirAllie : It is stupid to say you are busy it just makes them think well maybe another time. Question 1. Do you like the guy as a friend? is he someone you wan
30 TransIsland : ?? You just told us that you told him that you we're single. Surely, you and the didn't get married this fast...
31 Kingsford : I think 7324ever is not saying all the truth. Why post such a trivial question on the net that comes with a 'straight' answer (I'm not socializing wit
32 Jamincan : This story doesn't add up to me and I suspect that Kingsford is probably right. You probably haven't directly interacted with many gay people and are
34 AznMadSci : Many gay guys with or without partners also wear wedding bands.
35 PanAm330 : LMAO. I knew someone would say something like that.
36 Post contains links Diamond : No, you can't. There are no laws in the U.S. (even those regarding Real Estate) that require you to be receptive to unwanted advances by anyone of an
37 7324ever : I think Ive heard a lot and I have a meeting tonight to go over some papers. I will just say I am not interested Or curious. I am flattered by your ad
38 OA260 : Honesty is the best policy IMHO. A polite refusal should be accepted by him and end of story. That goes for all MF / FF / MM situations. If a guy ask
39 BNE : Well you seem to have come to the right place, 36 replies in less than 24 hours, what does that say about this website.
40 Ual747 : Honestly, I'd just say, that it's a conflict of interest. While it's not discrimination, what IF he weren't hitting on you but he IS gay? If you said:
41 Kmh1956 : Go to the Italian place. Enjoy the spaghetti. Ogle the waitress...but not in a stalker kind of way...just do it in a way that a gentleman appreciates
42 Teo747 : I have been in a similar situation with a female coworker who was making fairly obvious romantic advances towards me, and found that the best approach
43 AirframeAS : Are you *bleeeeeeeeeeping* serious, dude? Ditch the ring, be honest to the guy. Diamond is right x 3!!! Then why are you in this business that you ar
44 Doona : Damn, beat me to it... WHY!? It has nothing to do with your situation. Unless he's a woman and you're denying him the purchase of a house because of
45 Ual747 : So it's the day after your meeting with him. How'd it go? You get laid, or tell him you didn't want any? UAL
46 DocLightning : I may start. But a wedding band on the left ring finger means "Don't even bother." After having several female patients come on to me, I simply start
47 AznMadSci : And for some guys I know, a new kind of challenge ... "Please don't tell my wife!"
48 7324ever : Well I "Broke the news" too him. He took it, odd. When we first sat down to talk it out he was really talkative excited anf "flirty". Then after we or
49 Phoenix9 : Well, here's the thing....do you know for sure he is gay? If not, then, well
50 7324ever : 100% HIV positive. He told me flat oout he was.
51 FlyDeltaJets87 : "The Bitch".
52 Bananaboy : What? Mark
53 7324ever : Sorry just some South Park humor. Don't mean to offend the AIDS people it is a truely horrid horrid disease You know it! Well the updates are pretty
54 Pellegrine : Why do I feel this may be closer to the truth? Oh wait, maybe because I've had more than one (usually older) "straight" guy come on to me, then act l
55 Doona : Lovely. Exactly. Everybody's had sexual experiences they didn't like. Might as well give it a go, just to know for sure it isn't for you. Hell, havin
56 AznMadSci : Very bad taste on your part especially since you've been asking help.
57 Aero145 : You have an idea how amazingly nasty that is to say? Of all places, Airliners.net is one of the most inappropriate places for saying that. Hope you
58 FCA767 : I seem to bashing america...though not americans themselves but the systems...Even though you say your from Serbia, I think you live in America becau
59 Dtwclipper : 100% HIV positive.[/quote] Wow, I can't believe you said that. I wish now I hadn't offered you any help in this thread. Who are the AIDS people anyway
60 LH423 : Though the US is a more litigious society than many, discrimination law (especially where sexuality it concerned) is pretty universal in most Western
61 UAL777 : 100 men go down, 50 couples come up. That's crazy! There are some things I'm about 99.9% sure I wouldn't like so I should go try them just in case? W
62 FCA767 : Thanks for your post
63 IAirAllie : [quote=7324ever,reply=53]Sorry just some South Park humor. Don't mean to offend the AIDS people it is a truely horrid horrid disease Ok now that is th
64 Srbmod : At this point, the thread has drifted way off topic and as result, it is being locked.
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