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Getting Over A 2 Year Relationship..how?  
User currently offlineCaliAtenza From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 1580 posts, RR: 0
Posted (5 years 2 months 4 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 4056 times:

Hey everyone! (Sorry this may be long  Sad ).

Background: Im of indian descent, born and brought up in the USA, but decided to head back to the motherland for medical school. While i was here, during my second year, i met this amazing girl, who also like me was of Indian descent, born and brought up in the States, and went to the same school as me, just a year academically behind. For reference, im 24 now and she's 21. We had an awsome relationship for about a year, 6 months into which we became serious and started discussing our future together and what not. At around the 1 year mark or so, things definetly changed for the worse. She went back home on vacation, her parents started the "introductions to guys"; all the indian members on here will know this, and she got ideas in her head. At around this time, she decided to live with me because her roomate was treating her like shit. She became distant, sort of uninterested, didnt really talk to me the same way as she used to, and we started to fight, A LOT..and mostly about stupid, petty stuff. It was tough for me, i was trying to salvage this relationship because she meant a lot to me, and i guess i didnt realize that she didnt feel the same way about me anymore.

This past February, we decided to take a break for a while and then eventually got back together, thinking that it would just be a relationship based on us liking each other, spending time with each other, and having fun, without being too serious or anything. Unfortunetly, it didnt work out that way and we started fighting again...2 months ago, things got a bit better, but a few weeks ago when we were both back home for vacation, the final bell tolled on our relationship...with her ending it the most cruel way possible; a chat session on Facebook!  Sad...no phone call, no in person meeting, nothing. It was only after we got back that i got to speak to her that she finally said that she wasnt comfortable anymore, that she couldnt be in a relationship "just because of what someone has done for me", etc, etc..and finally she said she had to move on. At this time, her parents were still monkeying around with the whole situation behind the scenes, even though she doesnt want to really admit it. But she said "she still wants to be friends"...i mean come on, how can i be friends with someone who is putting me through pain and hurting me!!

My question is..how do i get over her? She was such a big part of my life..she was a large part of my support system out here and its tough when you live in a different country on the other side of the world, etc. I come home now and she's not there and i live in a pretty big appt all alone...I find it hard to concentrate somewhat in school now cause im dealing with this situation on top of other stuff.

83 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineOA260 From Ireland, joined Nov 2006, 27228 posts, RR: 60
Reply 1, posted (5 years 2 months 4 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 4043 times:

Sometimes things just dont work out and you have to accept it. It will be hard at first but time is a healer. Dont rush into another relationship either as that would make things worse. Take time out to gather your thoughts and adapt.

Quoting CaliAtenza (Thread starter):
"just because of what someone has done for me"

Well that is a valid point. A relationship based on one party feeling guilty for something and staying as a result is a recipe for disaster. The right person will come along for you and you are still very young. Maybe take some time out and travel by yourself or with your mates even if its just a two week chill out trip.


User currently offlineL410Turbolet From Czech Republic, joined May 2004, 5738 posts, RR: 19
Reply 2, posted (5 years 2 months 4 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 4041 times:



Quoting CaliAtenza (Thread starter):
My question is..how do i get over her?

Avoid contact with her as much as possible, especially in the beginning when it hurts the most.
Time is the best cure.


User currently offlineCaliAtenza From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 1580 posts, RR: 0
Reply 3, posted (5 years 2 months 4 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 4036 times:



Quoting OA260 (Reply 1):

Well that is a valid point. A relationship based on one party feeling guilty for something and staying as a result is a recipe for disaster. The right person will come along for you and you are still very young. Maybe take some time out and travel by yourself or with your mates even if its just a two week chill out trip.

I didnt want her to feel guilty, maybe she did, but that wasnt the point. Thing is we've done so much for each other, but i guess either A. She didnt really feel like it mattered enough or B. It did matter, but she had just lost interest me and it didnt matter anymore. I dunno, i felt like she was making me the bad guy when it was her dumping me.


User currently offlineCaliAtenza From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 1580 posts, RR: 0
Reply 4, posted (5 years 2 months 4 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 4033 times:



Quoting L410Turbolet (Reply 2):

Avoid contact with her as much as possible, especially in the beginning when it hurts the most.
Time is the best cure.

Its been a couple of weeks already since ive seen her and i already feel better, but its still hurting quite a bit, especially coming home to an empty house.


User currently offlineForce13 From United States of America, joined Jun 2005, 229 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (5 years 2 months 4 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 4033 times:

Having just ended a three year relationship this past March I can empathize with you. That being said "getting over it" is different for everybody. If you have a strong network of friends and family that will help you in more ways that you'll know. The one thing I do is tell myself "Today is a new day" every morning when I wake up. It's simple, hopeful and a good way to start the day in a positive way.

Some people may disagree with me on this one but don't bottle it up until you explode. It will do you no good and will certainly not make it any easier, especially if you end up hurting others in the process. (Yeah, I learned that the hard way)

Since your a student in medical school perhaps your university has (and I hate this word but I cannot find a better one) therapists who are specifically trained to assist students and any issues that affect them during the course of their studies? Both colleges I went to had this available to all students and faculty.

Does it hurt? Yes. Will it linger? Yes. Do you have to go it alone? NO.

Hope this helps.



Do not taunt. Do not shake. Do not pander. Add coffee. Subject should be slightly human within an hour.
User currently offlineCaliAtenza From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 1580 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (5 years 2 months 4 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 4022 times:



Quoting Force13 (Reply 5):
Having just ended a three year relationship this past March I can empathize with you. That being said "getting over it" is different for everybody. If you have a strong network of friends and family that will help you in more ways that you'll know. The one thing I do is tell myself "Today is a new day" every morning when I wake up. It's simple, hopeful and a good way to start the day in a positive way.

Some people may disagree with me on this one but don't bottle it up until you explode. It will do you no good and will certainly not make it any easier, especially if you end up hurting others in the process. (Yeah, I learned that the hard way)

Since your a student in medical school perhaps your university has (and I hate this word but I cannot find a better one) therapists who are specifically trained to assist students and any issues that affect them during the course of their studies? Both colleges I went to had this available to all students and faculty.

Does it hurt? Yes. Will it linger? Yes. Do you have to go it alone? NO.

If you know anything about Indian culture, then you will understand that ive kept all of this a secret from my extended family here. My parents know somewhat, but not the whole truth..but they do know its over. My college doesnt have any counseling facilities whatsoever, no institution that ive seen here to date, has a student counselling service or anything of that sort. Yeah i do have friends to get me through this and they are helping, but many of them havent been in serious relationships. Its especially tough for me because im an emotional person and i need extra support, whether it be from a significant other or friends or family, etc. Living overseas doubly makes that tough.


User currently offlineDreadnought From United States of America, joined Feb 2008, 8913 posts, RR: 24
Reply 7, posted (5 years 2 months 4 weeks 6 hours ago) and read 4015 times:

Quoting CaliAtenza (Thread starter):
My question is..how do i get over her?

Everyone's been there, man. Don't even try to salvage it. Just head on forward, find a new girl (doesn't have to the girl of your dreams - just someone to have a bit of fun with if nothing else), and get on with your life. I know that sounds hard, but that's just the way it is.

A wise man once said that a woman's body is proof that God exists, and a woman's mind is proof that He has a nasty sense of humor.

[Edited 2009-08-25 14:38:02]


Veni Vidi Castratavi Illegitimos
User currently offlineOA260 From Ireland, joined Nov 2006, 27228 posts, RR: 60
Reply 8, posted (5 years 2 months 4 weeks 5 hours ago) and read 3998 times:



Quoting CaliAtenza (Reply 3):
I didnt want her to feel guilty, maybe she did, but that wasnt the point.

No I can understand that but she probably did. I have broken off relationships before and I have felt guilty because sometimes you really do like the other person but just not in that way.

Quoting CaliAtenza (Reply 3):
I dunno, i felt like she was making me the bad guy when it was her dumping me.

Sometimes if someone can make someone out to be the bad guy then it takes some of the guilt of them.

Those are just possible reasons and may not be your situation. Im sure she is not a bad person , breaking up and telling someone they want to split is very hard. Although I dont agree it should be done on Facebook. It should be done over the phone in a caring manner or face to face over a coffee etc..


User currently offlinePhoenix9 From Canada, joined Aug 2007, 2546 posts, RR: 8
Reply 9, posted (5 years 2 months 4 weeks 5 hours ago) and read 3975 times:



Quoting CaliAtenza (Thread starter):

I usually don't comment on relationship threads but I have been through a similar situation and all I am going to say is this: No matter what anyone says or does, it won't make those feelings go away in an instant. The only thing that is going to work is time....just give it some time and you'll be back to normal. Right now the memories are too fresh and the only thing that probably is going through your head is WHY?

The best thing you can do is try to focus on your school as much as possible and stay busy with friends. If you need some time alone....so be it, take some time off. Cry if you want to...it will help you get some of the feelings out of your system. Most of us have been through this kind of stuff and everyone has their own way of dealing with it...and soon you will find your own way too.



Life only makes sense when you look at it backwards.
User currently onlineYVRLTN From Canada, joined Oct 2006, 2519 posts, RR: 0
Reply 10, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 3901 times:

Look on the bright side. Imagine if you had fight after fight, followed by patch up after patch up, trying to force round pegs into square holes for say another 2 years, by which time you were in even deeper and probably really damaged your relationship with your family by being with this girl so couldnt go back to them.

Theres no point wondering why, some girls (and guys) just do this stuff. Spend some time doing things you enjoy, like watching planes, sport, nights out with friends, a short vacation or whatever, do stuff that makes you happy.

I went straight from a 3 year relationship to my current wife within a week. I have no regrets, but I do sometimes wish I hadnt knee jerked and had some me time and fun with the lads (or more the gals........  Wink )



Follow me on twitter for YVR movements @vernonYVR
User currently offlineMaverick623 From United States of America, joined Nov 2006, 5697 posts, RR: 6
Reply 11, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 6 days 19 hours ago) and read 3868 times:



Quoting L410Turbolet (Reply 2):
Avoid contact with her as much as possible

I must emphasize this. Nothing good is going to come out of being around her. It's going to be awkward, maybe even miserable, especially if she's with another guy.

Quoting CaliAtenza (Reply 3):
Thing is we've done so much for each other, but i guess either A. She didnt really feel like it mattered enough or B. It did matter, but she had just lost interest me and it didnt matter anymore.

It's not what you'll do for a person, not even whether they appreciate it. It's whether they enjoy what you do for them.

Quoting CaliAtenza (Reply 3):
i felt like she was making me the bad guy when it was her dumping me.

No one is the bad guy here. Unfortunately, part of our self-esteem defense mechanism is to make sure that we're not blamed for anything. Sometimes, unintentionally, this causes something to read like an accusation.

Quoting Force13 (Reply 5):
friends and family

Are probably better people to talk to than a bunch of strangers on the internet  Silly



"PHX is Phoenix, PDX is the other city" -777Way
User currently offlineCaliAtenza From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 1580 posts, RR: 0
Reply 12, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 6 days 16 hours ago) and read 3841 times:



Quoting YVRLTN (Reply 10):
Look on the bright side. Imagine if you had fight after fight, followed by patch up after patch up, trying to force round pegs into square holes for say another 2 years, by which time you were in even deeper and probably really damaged your relationship with your family by being with this girl so couldnt go back to them.

Theres no point wondering why, some girls (and guys) just do this stuff. Spend some time doing things you enjoy, like watching planes, sport, nights out with friends, a short vacation or whatever, do stuff that makes you happy.

I went straight from a 3 year relationship to my current wife within a week. I have no regrets, but I do sometimes wish I hadnt knee jerked and had some me time and fun with the lads (or more the gals........

You know thats what my friend said, that actually in a way this is better because what if 2 years later the same thing had just continued and i had got in deeper (i was already in the deep end of the pool, so to speak) and it would have hurt more. Wow, straight from a 3 year relationship to a new wife, thats impressive! to say the least.

Quoting Phoenix9 (Reply 9):

I usually don't comment on relationship threads but I have been through a similar situation and all I am going to say is this: No matter what anyone says or does, it won't make those feelings go away in an instant. The only thing that is going to work is time....just give it some time and you'll be back to normal. Right now the memories are too fresh and the only thing that probably is going through your head is WHY?

Ive been asking "Why?" for a long time now, even kinda before the breakup. Ive just been blaming myself, "what did i do or didnt do to make her feel like that"?. Maybe i made a mistake dating a younger girl, i dunno...i feel like that now.

Quoting Maverick623 (Reply 11):
It's not what you'll do for a person, not even whether they appreciate it. It's whether they enjoy what you do for them.

She did...up untill a while ago. When that was exactly, i still cant figure out and i prolly shouldnt bother with it.

Quoting Maverick623 (Reply 11):

Are probably better people to talk to than a bunch of strangers on the internet Silly

hehehe..hey anything helps  Smile. Plus most of the people i know here are way into their own crap to give a bother really other than a few words here and there.


User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31692 posts, RR: 56
Reply 13, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 6 days 9 hours ago) and read 3787 times:



Quoting CaliAtenza (Thread starter):
i was trying to salvage this relationship because she meant a lot to me, and i guess i didnt realize that she didnt feel the same way about me anymore.

Look at it this way...you gave it your best,But if it was not enough,why blame yourself......No point forcing someone to like you.

Quoting CaliAtenza (Thread starter):
she still wants to be friends"...i mean come on, how can i be friends with someone who is putting me through pain and hurting me!!

No point being in touch.It will bring back memories.

Get Busy....Not in any relationship,but with Buddies.Hang out with Friends,time is the best cure.

Small tip......Better to have someone that loves you more than you love that person.....

regds
MEL.



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlinePar13del From Bahamas, joined Dec 2005, 7465 posts, RR: 8
Reply 14, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 3776 times:

There are advantages and disadvantages to your situation along with some lessons to be learned, one is that a relationaship requires commitment on both sides, it appears as if you were the committed party, based on the number of breaks ups etc.
Being from Indian decent you have one advantage that us "westerners" don't have, the easy ability to have an arranged marriage - possible cause of initial conflict on her side - I would suggest you get your family cracking on that one right away. The time and effort that you spend preparing then being married will ensure that idle thoughts of what once was will fade immediately when placed up against your new obligations.


User currently offlinePWM2TXLHopper From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 1351 posts, RR: 1
Reply 15, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 6 days 8 hours ago) and read 3768 times:

The best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody else.

Almost all relationships established in one's early 20's come to an end. People are still changing and dating multiple people to find out what they like. As much as I'm sure it hurts, it should still have been expected. If you were already talking about your future, than perhaps this is the best thing that could have happened to you? Otherwise there's a good chance you'd been married by the time she was 23, and divorced few years later. Then you'd have realized your mistake.

[Edited 2009-08-26 12:30:04]

User currently offlineVikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 10236 posts, RR: 26
Reply 16, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 6 days 7 hours ago) and read 3757 times:
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Quoting CaliAtenza (Reply 3):
I dunno, i felt like she was making me the bad guy when it was her dumping me.

She dumped you over Facebook. After that, any judgment she makes about you really isn't worth your time or consideration.

Quoting L410Turbolet (Reply 2):
Time is the best cure.

And the only cure.

Quoting YVRLTN (Reply 10):
Look on the bright side. Imagine if you had fight after fight, followed by patch up after patch up, trying to force round pegs into square holes for say another 2 years, by which time you were in even deeper and probably really damaged your relationship with your family by being with this girl so couldnt go back to them.

Absolutely.

Quoting L410Turbolet (Reply 2):
Avoid contact with her as much as possible, especially in the beginning when it hurts the most.

Absolutely. Sounds harsh, but it's the truth.

Quoting Maverick623 (Reply 11):

It's not what you'll do for a person, not even whether they appreciate it. It's whether they enjoy what you do for them.

That was very well phrased - I was trying to figure out how to say the same thing.

Quoting CaliAtenza (Reply 12):
Maybe i made a mistake dating a younger girl, i dunno...i feel like that now.

Age is only one factor. My girlfriend is 2 years younger than me, but in some ways she's more mature than I am.

Quoting CaliAtenza (Reply 12):
She did...up untill a while ago. When that was exactly, i still cant figure out and i prolly shouldnt bother with it.

You definitely shouldn't bother with it. See my comment about her dumping you over Facebook above.

Quoting CaliAtenza (Reply 6):
If you know anything about Indian culture, then you will understand that ive kept all of this a secret from my extended family here.

As a fellow Indian, born and raised in the US, I do understand what you're talking about. However, it may be worth a shot, especially if you can talk to cousins or others who are in your generation.



How can I be an admiral without my cap??!
User currently offlineCaliAtenza From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 1580 posts, RR: 0
Reply 17, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 5 days 14 hours ago) and read 3690 times:



Quoting Par13del (Reply 14):
There are advantages and disadvantages to your situation along with some lessons to be learned, one is that a relationaship requires commitment on both sides, it appears as if you were the committed party, based on the number of breaks ups etc.
Being from Indian decent you have one advantage that us "westerners" don't have, the easy ability to have an arranged marriage - possible cause of initial conflict on her side - I would suggest you get your family cracking on that one right away. The time and effort that you spend preparing then being married will ensure that idle thoughts of what once was will fade immediately when placed up against your new obligations.

These days its more like "arranged dating" , which leads to "arranged marriage". We were both committed until the 1 year point, then she became non-committed then finally i decided to throw in the towel and unhitch myself from the commitment wagon. Her parents were MUCH MORE serious about the arranged marriage bit then my were/are, even though she says they werent...i could see it in all the responses she kept giving me because it all was going around in circles.

Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 16):
As a fellow Indian, born and raised in the US, I do understand what you're talking about. However, it may be worth a shot, especially if you can talk to cousins or others who are in your generation.

Yeah i'll prolly talk to my cousin one of these days when im free...i havent seen the guy in a long time.

Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 16):
Age is only one factor. My girlfriend is 2 years younger than me, but in some ways she's more mature than I am.

True, but this whole expierence has taught me that most girls in their young 20's do not know what they are looking for and are very finicky..  Sad. It was all fun and games for 6 months, but then when things got serious, she got cold feet...and i realized that too late.


User currently offlineTheCol From Canada, joined Jan 2007, 2039 posts, RR: 6
Reply 18, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 4 days 20 hours ago) and read 3624 times:



Quoting CaliAtenza (Thread starter):
im 24



Quoting CaliAtenza (Thread starter):
and started discussing our future together

Dude, no...

Quoting HAWK21M (Reply 13):
Not in any relationship,but with Buddies.Hang out with Friends

 checkmark 

Have a good time, get rich, and live life without a ball and chain. When your 30, then you should start thinking about starting a family.



No matter how random things may appear, there's always a plan.
User currently offlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 40008 posts, RR: 74
Reply 19, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 4 days 20 hours ago) and read 3613 times:



Quoting CaliAtenza (Thread starter):
My question is..how do i get over her? She was such a big part of my life..she was a large part of my support system out here and its tough when you live in a different country on the other side of the world, etc. I come home now and she's not there and i live in a pretty big appt all alone...I find it hard to concentrate somewhat in school now cause im dealing with this situation on top of other stuff.

Dude, your next girlfriend will be younger and hotter than the last.  Cool
You'll be over this in 48 hours.



Bring back the Concorde
User currently offlineCaliAtenza From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 1580 posts, RR: 0
Reply 20, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 4 days 14 hours ago) and read 3579 times:



Quoting TheCol (Reply 18):


Have a good time, get rich, and live life without a ball and chain. When your 30, then you should start thinking about starting a family.

This i'll agree with  Smile. But the parents are gonna come down hard on me and make me get married when i start my residency lol.

Quoting Superfly (Reply 19):

Dude, your next girlfriend will be younger and hotter than the last. Cool
You'll be over this in 48 hours.

Its been a couple of weeks already and every day that i dont see her, i feel better  Smile.


User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31692 posts, RR: 56
Reply 21, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 4 days 13 hours ago) and read 3573 times:



Quoting CaliAtenza (Reply 20):
This i'll agree with . But the parents are gonna come down hard on me and make me get married when i start my residency lol.

Don't get married till 29.
Ideally never  Smile

Quoting CaliAtenza (Reply 20):
Its been a couple of weeks already and every day that i dont see her, i feel better .

Time is the best cure.

regds
MEL.



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineTheCol From Canada, joined Jan 2007, 2039 posts, RR: 6
Reply 22, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 4 days 7 hours ago) and read 3525 times:



Quoting CaliAtenza (Reply 20):
But the parents are gonna come down hard on me and make me get married when i start my residency lol.

Just explain how difficult it is to juggle a 24/7 job with a marriage, and the financial burdens as well.



No matter how random things may appear, there's always a plan.
User currently offlineRevelation From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 12837 posts, RR: 25
Reply 23, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 4 days 6 hours ago) and read 3518 times:



Quoting CaliAtenza (Thread starter):
But she said "she still wants to be friends"...i mean come on, how can i be friends with someone who is putting me through pain and hurting me!!

Resentment is a poison you give to yourself. You can decide to hang on to that resentment, but it won't matter one bit to her if you do or don't, it'll only matter to you. So let go of it, remember the good times that were, and be civil towards her should your paths cross again. I do agree that you should not go out of your way to see her though. Why do that? It's hard to drive the car when you stare at the rear view mirror, so look forward, not back.

Quoting Force13 (Reply 5):
Some people may disagree with me on this one but don't bottle it up until you explode. It will do you no good and will certainly not make it any easier, especially if you end up hurting others in the process. (Yeah, I learned that the hard way)

This is another good reason to let go of resentment, the poison you hang on can spread to others. No one wants to be around a bitter person, or one who hides their bitterness till it explodes all over the place.



Inspiration, move me brightly!
User currently offline757MDE From Colombia, joined Sep 2004, 1753 posts, RR: 6
Reply 24, posted (5 years 2 months 3 weeks 4 days 5 hours ago) and read 3506 times:

Resentment is a bad thing, that´s right.
But it´s not that easy to have things done to one that hurt and just go on without feeling some.



I gladly accept donations to pay for flight hours! This thing draws man...
25 Revelation : I didn't say it would be easy, but it's what must be done. It took me a while to see how my ex could feel some of the things she felt and do some of
26 757MDE : Yeah... time is the ultimate healer all in all. Been there, done that too.
27 Swiftski : Time Time Time Time Time. Really. I know full well that it sounds like the most UNhelpful advice just just say "wait" but it really is the only, and
28 CaliAtenza : yeah i know what u mean...arggh women can be so cruel sometimes... . Its still going to be a long time before i get over her because she was such a b
29 HAWK21M : Quit thinking of the past...It will get you depressed....Move on. regds MEL.
30 Brons2 : you should hook up with one of her friends, that always helps, and it makes her mad to boot!
31 AirframeAS : Just buy her a snowglobe and move on.
32 MadameConcorde : This is just an idea.... Have you thought about going to a shelter and find yourself a cute young (or older) 4 legged friend? It could be a cat or a d
33 CaliAtenza : I love dogs and i have one back in the States. Thing is, i have a pretty small appt and im not very fond of small, yappy dogs , which is prolly the o
34 Inbound : Man, I too just got out of a 2.5 year r/ship 3 weeks ago. I can't offer any advice, I can only sympathize with you because I'm feeling the same crap y
35 CaliAtenza : Good to see another indian in this thread . Well 2nite, over drinks and dinner i found out that she had been lying to me the entire time she was with
36 AirframeAS : Sadly, yes. People at that age don't really know what they want in their life and don't have the life experiences to make a mature decision. The busi
37 Post contains images CaliAtenza : I thought girls mature earlier than boys??...this is what ive learned throughout all of my biology and science classes.. Probably not but she claimed
38 AirframeAS : Ehhhh.... in a way..... yeah, but still everyone is human and still do stupid things at that age. But if you compare a 27 year old female and a 27 ye
39 CaliAtenza : She thought of herself as a saint i guess...she claimed she was never lying to me..ehh, fat chance of that being true...now i know all. You're right,
40 Tommy767 : I've seen a few of these similar thread over the past year, and I've wrote long paragraphs so I'll be brief this time around... I broke up with a girl
41 AirframeAS : Yeah, don't do that. Let it go. You'll be the better person in the situation if you just let it go, and people will begin to see that.
42 CaliAtenza : i would do this, but problem is that clubs here are "couples-only" entry...and pubs here in town just mainly attract creepy dudes. Im trying to hook
43 HAWK21M : Remember the term.....My story,your story & the truth. If your best friend was your best friend why tell you now.How do you know its true. My advice.
44 CaliAtenza : True...and i see your point, but he has no reason to lie to me now about anything. Yes, then he had made a promise to her because he was a close frie
45 Revelation : LOL! It's funny how that works, no? But according to Brons2, you aren't interested in their minds, right? What's up with that?
46 CaliAtenza : no, but most of her friends arent really lookers anyways they did that to prevent crime, but it just made crime more, lol.
47 Vikkyvik : And it was just as stupid then as it is now I'm not a big believer in "bros before hos". I've seen some "bros" do some pretty downright awful things,
48 AirframeAS : So you'd give up a bro (which is a lifetime friendship...) over a ho (which can be terminated at anytime for any reason)?? But true, everyone does st
49 Vikkyvik : A "bro" can be terminated at anytime for any reason as well. I'm not one to support what my friends do all the time, with no regard for anyone else.
50 CaliAtenza : and i told him this..i asked him as to why he didnt tell me..he kept hinting at what really was going on, but i couldnt see it. I guess he didnt want
51 AirframeAS : Oh, long, long story. To make it short, she kept on having me come over and there would be a fight. She would come over on her own (uninvited) and th
52 CaliAtenza : ah k, yeah it was sort of the same with us as well...but she lived me. damn man, sorry to hear about it...
53 AirframeAS : Same with my most recent ex. Nah, don't be. It was for the best after I found out and saw for myself on who she really was. That's when I told her to
54 CaliAtenza : life def moves on..doesnt wait for us, lol. You know last nite, my friend and one of her ex-friends came over. I got to really know the truth about m
55 AirframeAS : Unfortunately, you won't be the last person to be "used" like that....
56 TSS : Well, there comes a time in everyone's life when they have to tell their parents "No. I'm an adult, and I don't have to do what you tell me to any mo
57 CaliAtenza : nope, i wont...and i guess she prolly wont learn for a long time either.
58 AlexEU : Someone once told me that Indian gals prefer non-Indian guys...So I am wondering if that is true? Perhaps you know since you are Indian originally.
59 Post contains images FLY2HMO : Wise words to live by:  Sometimes... [Edited 2009-09-06 09:35:52]
60 HAWK21M : How can one generalize here...... regds MEL.
61 VarigB707 : breaking up is like pulling a band-aid out : one motion. right off!
62 Vikkyvik : Can't speak to that....However, I'm an Indian guy and I prefer non-Indian girls... I've actually never dated an Indian girl. Don't have any particula
63 AirframeAS : I love that, man! LOL! Thanks for sharing!
64 CaliAtenza : some do, some dont...its really an individual choice.
65 RJ111 : No girl who dumps you on Facebook is worth it. Go out on the town with your mates and get laid (not with your mates, with other birds). That'll get yo
66 AlexEU : Sure no one can generalize anything...but I´ve seen many Indian girls hanging with European guys while I´ve never seen Indian guy hanging with Euro
67 CaliAtenza : you're right...the whole facebook thing was the first thing that pissed me off, secondly it was all the excuses she kept giving and it drove to my wi
68 AirframeAS : You wanna hear something low that I have done? Well, before Facebook or MySpace ever came to fruition... I dumped my very first girlfriend via MSN Me
69 FRAspotter : My advice is to go and treat yourself to something nice... Think of it as a sort of reward for making it through 2 years in a relationship and you bei
70 GulfStreamGirl : Just drink your sorrows away for a week or two and MOVE ON , my god , there's millions of women (or men lol) ,you could fall in love with in this wor
71 Scallar : 2 years. That is quite some time. But you know what, you will be just fine. Trust me. My (now) ex wife and I was together for 15 years. We have two da
72 HAWK21M : Postive thining always work. Your story is a tough one.But glad to see a nice person come out the winner in such a situation. Cheers regds MEL.
73 Post contains images CaliAtenza : wow...that must really be rough, with kids and all too  . Yeah im not seeing her, im not talking to her...im talking to friends and trying to make n
74 CaliAtenza : women for me . And im going on a trip next weekend with my buddies to the "French Riviera" of India, so that should be fun .
75 Scallar : Yeah it is. However, they help me get through it all. Having the kids to focus on is great. They have so much love to give and nothing can take that
76 CaliAtenza : she called me 2nite...wierd...she was like, "hello, its ..." , like i didnt know who she was or recognize her voice??? she wanted some phone numbers c
77 Vikkyvik : The purpose might have been as stated - that she needed some phone numbers. Or it might not have. Doesn't matter one bit. You'd be perfectly reasonab
78 GulfStreamGirl : That's exactly what you need Cali ,i hope you have a good trip and have some fun.
79 CaliAtenza : she called from a landline, only that it was later that i recognized that it was from her grandmother's house. I do still have her number in my cell,
80 Deaphen : If you are still in India, and you are still in the mood to get over stuff, head over to Chandigarh.. spend a few days here, we can drink a couple of
81 CaliAtenza : im here for college now...i would seriously come to chandigarh...but im going to Pondicherry next week. Im def up for your offer though, i'll try and
82 Deaphen : Excellent....btw, where are you at the moment? email me through my contact profile so that I have your contact details. Nitin
83 CaliAtenza : you've got mail . Anyways yeah, the sooner i can get over her completely, the better. She's still at the back of my head, and im trying to get her ou
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