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Perfect Day, Men Vs. Women  
User currently offlineJetMech From Australia, joined Mar 2006, 2638 posts, RR: 53
Posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 6 hours ago) and read 14491 times:

I thought this was funny   .

THE PERFECT DAY FOR HER

8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh-in 2 kgs lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed—freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents- expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner

9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:00 Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave
12:00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café
12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notice that she has gained 17 kgs
1:00 Shopping with friends: unlimited credit
3:00 Nap
4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer
4:15 Massage from strong but gentle hunk—says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe
7:30 Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/ dancers
10:00 Hot shower- alone
10:50 Carried to bed… freshly ironed, crisp, white linen
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big, strong arms


THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM…

6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive, satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast—steak and eggs, coffee and toast—all cooked by naked, buxom wench who bends over a lot showing her growler

7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several beers en route to the airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear jet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 Play front nine (2 under par)
11:45 Lunch—steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine (4 under)
2:15 Limo back to airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas
3:30 Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot showing their growlers
4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234lbs)—on light tackle
5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson (bending over showing her growler, naturally)
6:45 Shit, shower and shave
7:00 Watch news—Michael Jackson assassinated
7:30 Dinner—lobster appetisers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits

9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV as you watch football game
9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 Night-cap blow job
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 A 22-second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep

http://www.muzzerino.com/2008_11_16_archive.html

Regards, JetMech

[Edited 2009-09-03 01:39:47]


JetMech split the back of his pants. He can feel the wind in his hair.
27 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineWILCO737 From Greenland, joined Jun 2004, 8916 posts, RR: 76
Reply 1, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 5 hours ago) and read 14463 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW
HEAD MODERATOR



Quoting JetMech (Thread starter):

Sounds about right Big grin  bigthumbsup 

wilco737



It it's not Boeing, I am not going.
User currently offlineSpringbok747 From Australia, joined Nov 2004, 4387 posts, RR: 11
Reply 2, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 14441 times:



Quoting WILCO737 (Reply 1):
Sounds about right

Seconded  bigthumbsup 



אני תומך בישראל
User currently offlineSpeedbirdie From United Kingdom, joined May 2006, 915 posts, RR: 53
Reply 3, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 14440 times:

Oh good grief, that certainly put a smile on my face...
Brilliant Big grin



Never give up..
User currently offlineHomer71 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 2240 posts, RR: 15
Reply 4, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 2 days 4 hours ago) and read 14429 times:

I wish...  Sad  Sad  Sad


"On spaceship earth there are no passengers...only crew."
User currently offlineFridgmus From United States of America, joined Oct 2006, 1441 posts, RR: 11
Reply 5, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 14340 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!



Quoting JetMech (Thread starter):

Works for me!  bigthumbsup 



The Lockheed Super Constellation, the REAL Queen of the Skies!
User currently offlineYooYoo From Canada, joined Nov 2003, 6057 posts, RR: 51
Reply 6, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 14333 times:

growler?...isn't that term for a sausage? I wouldn't want these "women" showing me their sausage!!

I hope it means something else in Australia.  Wink



I am so smart, i am so smart... S-M-R-T... i mean S-M-A-R-T
User currently offlineHomer71 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 2240 posts, RR: 15
Reply 7, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 23 hours ago) and read 14324 times:



Quoting YooYoo (Reply 6):
growler?...isn't that term for a sausage? I wouldn't want these "women" showing me their sausage!!

I hope it means something else in Australia.

Think "exodus"...



"On spaceship earth there are no passengers...only crew."
User currently offlineYooYoo From Canada, joined Nov 2003, 6057 posts, RR: 51
Reply 8, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 14310 times:



Quoting Homer71 (Reply 7):
Think "exodus"...

What's Bob Marley have to do with any of this?  Wink



I am so smart, i am so smart... S-M-R-T... i mean S-M-A-R-T
User currently offlineForce13 From United States of America, joined Jun 2005, 229 posts, RR: 0
Reply 9, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 22 hours ago) and read 14306 times:

This will be sent out in a mass email to everyone I know. And since it was written in Australian slang it's even better! (Growler is Australian slang, right?)


Do not taunt. Do not shake. Do not pander. Add coffee. Subject should be slightly human within an hour.
User currently offlineVikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 9405 posts, RR: 27
Reply 10, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 14254 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!



Quoting JetMech (Thread starter):
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM…

6:00 Alarm

My only disagreement:

A perfect day for me would most definitely NOT start at 6 AM.

More like 11  Smile



"Two and a Half Men" was filmed in front of a live ostrich.
User currently offlineHomer71 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 2240 posts, RR: 15
Reply 11, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 20 hours ago) and read 14229 times:



Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 10):
A perfect day for me would most definitely NOT start at 6 AM.

If the thing listed at 6:15 happens, hell yes it will be...



"On spaceship earth there are no passengers...only crew."
User currently offlineWILCO737 From Greenland, joined Jun 2004, 8916 posts, RR: 76
Reply 12, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 19 hours ago) and read 14225 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW
HEAD MODERATOR



Quoting Homer71 (Reply 11):
If the thing listed at 6:15 happens, hell yes it will be...

The longer the day the more BJ's possible... So set the alarm to 6 AM Big grin Big grin

wilco737



It it's not Boeing, I am not going.
User currently offlineSpringbok747 From Australia, joined Nov 2004, 4387 posts, RR: 11
Reply 13, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 14198 times:



Quoting Force13 (Reply 9):
(Growler is Australian slang, right?)

More British actually...

Growler = Vagina

Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 10):
A perfect day for me would most definitely NOT start at 6 AM.

The longer the day..the more opportunity for BJ and:

Quoting JetMech (Thread starter):
Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies

 biggrin 



אני תומך בישראל
User currently offlineShyFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 14, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 14193 times:



Quoting JetMech (Thread starter):
9:30 Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies

But then they really wouldn't need you, would they?  cheeky 


User currently offlineHomer71 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 2240 posts, RR: 15
Reply 15, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 18 hours ago) and read 14178 times:



Quoting ShyFlyer (Reply 14):
But then they really wouldn't need you, would they?

I'll settle for watching (I'll be tired from all of the BJs throughout the day)



"On spaceship earth there are no passengers...only crew."
User currently offlineTSS From United States of America, joined Dec 2006, 3050 posts, RR: 5
Reply 16, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 12 hours ago) and read 14103 times:



Quoting Homer71 (Reply 15):
Quoting ShyFlyer (Reply 14):
But then they really wouldn't need you, would they?

I'll settle for watching (I'll be tired* from all of the BJs throughout the day)

*I believe "drained" might be a more appropriate term than "tired", at least in that context.  Wink



Able to kill active threads stone dead with a single post!
User currently offlineJetMech From Australia, joined Mar 2006, 2638 posts, RR: 53
Reply 17, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 11 hours ago) and read 14088 times:



Quoting Speedbirdie (Reply 3):

Strangely, the females perfect day is all about confirming her sexiness and desirability, yet there is no actual sex involved  scratchchin  .

Quoting YooYoo (Reply 6):
growler?...isn't that term for a sausage?

Growler or growling is a slang term that I have heard being used to describe cunnilingus. Google reveals that it can also refer to a women’s "Fifi"  Smile .

Quoting ShyFlyer (Reply 14):
But then they really wouldn't need you, would they?

It'd be a damn good show nonetheless!

Regards, JetMech



JetMech split the back of his pants. He can feel the wind in his hair.
User currently offlineVikkyvik From United States of America, joined Jul 2003, 9405 posts, RR: 27
Reply 18, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 10 hours ago) and read 14064 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!



Quoting Homer71 (Reply 11):
If the thing listed at 6:15 happens, hell yes it will be...



Quoting WILCO737 (Reply 12):
The longer the day the more BJ's possible... So set the alarm to 6 AM



Quoting Springbok747 (Reply 13):
The longer the day..the more opportunity for BJ and:

Haha, fair enough, good point.

However, for me, following the 6 AM BJ would be 5 more hours of sleep (perhaps interrupted once or twice for encores  Wink )



"Two and a Half Men" was filmed in front of a live ostrich.
User currently offlineYVRLTN From Canada, joined Oct 2006, 2350 posts, RR: 0
Reply 19, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 9 hours ago) and read 14056 times:



Quoting JetMech (Thread starter):
7:00 Watch news—Michael Jackson assassinated

Unfortunately this is about the closest most of us will get.....



Follow me on twitter for YVR movements @vernonYVR
User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31580 posts, RR: 57
Reply 20, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 6 hours ago) and read 14025 times:

Makes sense. bigthumbsup 
Only thing about the Alarm 0600hrs seems to early.After a night shift it would be 1400hrs.
regds
MEL.



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineAircatalonia From Spain, joined Nov 2007, 541 posts, RR: 0
Reply 21, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 6 hours ago) and read 14021 times:



Quoting JetMech (Thread starter):
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM…

I'm sure someone's doing that as we write.


User currently offlineSpeedbirdie From United Kingdom, joined May 2006, 915 posts, RR: 53
Reply 22, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 14010 times:



Quoting JetMech (Reply 17):
Strangely, the females perfect day is all about confirming her sexiness and desirability, yet there is no actual sex involved .

Well my dear friend, let me explain. Most women couldn't couldn't give a crap about having sex. We actually do lie there and think 'oh no I forgot to iron a work shirt' or something along those lines Big grin



Never give up..
User currently offlineWILCO737 From Greenland, joined Jun 2004, 8916 posts, RR: 76
Reply 23, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 3 hours ago) and read 13996 times:
AIRLINERS.NET CREW
HEAD MODERATOR



Quoting Speedbirdie (Reply 22):
Most women couldn't couldn't give a crap about having sex.

Maybe that's why we have so many gay men on here  duck   Big grin Big grin

wilco737



It it's not Boeing, I am not going.
User currently offlineHomer71 From United States of America, joined Jul 2001, 2240 posts, RR: 15
Reply 24, posted (4 years 7 months 3 weeks 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 13964 times:



Quoting TSS (Reply 16):
*I believe "drained" might be a more appropriate term than "tired", at least in that context.

I stand corrected...
 bigthumbsup 



"On spaceship earth there are no passengers...only crew."
25 JCS17 : Growler for me means a log of excrement. Geez, we need to standardize the meaning of this immediately. It could lead to some bad things.
26 JetMech : It's all so unfair . So easy for females to fake orgasms, so difficult for males to fake erections . Regards, JetMech
27 ShyFlyer : Yep, the only thing on the planet that is difficult but at the same time not hard. Taxi!
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