FuturePilot16 From United States of America, joined Mar 2007, 2035 posts, RR: 0 Posted (4 years 1 week 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 1484 times:
A thread where you can discuss some of your stupidest and most embarrassing decisions while drunk.
A few weeks ago on campus, I got so hammered that I tried to take down a 50 ft wooden lightpost. Needless to say I couldn't even move it, and I ended up with a strained shoulder which hurt for about 2 weeks.
"The brave don't live forever, but the cautious don't live at all."
At drunk breakfast at school, I started barking at everyone I saw and pissed all over these fake plants near the food court. Needless to say, the cops weren't happy and received a nice underage citation!
Sabena332 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 2, posted (4 years 1 week 4 days 21 hours ago) and read 1460 times:
I would still sit here tomorrow morning and typing when I would post all the stupid things I've done while being drunk and/or stoned.
I can be glad that I am still alive and that I've never been to jail for all the shit that I (and my friends) have done in a drunk condition.
The most stupid thing I've done drunk was driving several times (with my father's, my mother's my own, and a rental car in Spain). Furthermore I was involved in several fights in the football stadium and in bars which earned me a broken wrist, a broken rib and a really huge laceration at my right knee (you can still see the scar).
Fortunately are these time over. Nowadays I become quieter and quieter the more I drink.
AGM100 From United States of America, joined Dec 2003, 5407 posts, RR: 17 Reply 6, posted (4 years 1 week 3 days 4 hours ago) and read 1318 times:
Playing softball (baseball) on a company team at a local "sportspark" . The place served beer in 1 gallon plastics milk jugs (real classy place) which we sat around and drank after each game. Well we got hammered .... started talking shit and got tossed from the place. I then got on my motor cycle ., drove though the front gate past the attendent booth , down a few flights of stairs and rode it out onto the field's where other teams were playing. I rode it around the fields while dudes were chasing me . Tried to make it back though the gate ... and some dude jumped out and shoved me . I flew off the bike and crashed into a chain link fence shoulder first .
I got back up , picked the bike up by shear adrenaline ( Honda 750 nighthawk) and tore off. I ended up waking up laying in the parking lot of a city park with a broken collar bone and a bloody right ear. I got up , got the bike up, and rode home. Terrible .
Then there was the night I decided to take on the bouncers at a local strip club .... did not end well for me at all. I used to be a real idiot on booze... always fighting and racing and just getting into trouble.
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
YVRLTN From Canada, joined Oct 2006, 2239 posts, RR: 0 Reply 7, posted (4 years 1 week 2 days 13 hours ago) and read 1245 times:
Hmm, most recent embarassment was when I was drinking with my boss one evening and was horified with the bar bill, so I stole the purse of a girl who was also drinking (I sort of know her, she used to serve there) and I figured in my befuddled state she was pretty rich as her boyfriend is a top NHL star, so she could afford my bill no problem. My wife came in to find me and rescued me from the situation just as I was routing through her purse trying to get out the wallet & credit card... my boss also disgraced himself. His wife came out to get him too, and got up their 3 kids out of bed into their van - he pissed against the side of the van in full view of his kids. "Mom, whys daddy peeing on the van in the parking lot???"
MWHCVT From United Kingdom, joined Oct 2008, 617 posts, RR: 0 Reply 13, posted (4 years 1 week 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 1073 times:
Got this on email for not the first time recently so thought I would post it look out for yourself in there:
Stage 1 - SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you will win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.
Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!
Stage 5 - INVISIBLE
This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.
The Morning after
Stage 1 - STUPID
As you regain consciousness and begin to enjoy the headache,
the churning stomach and the cold sweats, you realize that
you have lost not only several hours of your life, but also
the ability to concentrate on anything at all. You are now
STUPID and will remain so for a minimum of 12 hours.
Stage 2 - UGLY
Never entirely happy with the effects of the bathroom
mirror, the first thing you are horrified to discover is
that you have now become even UGLIER than you previously
thought possible. Not only have you got bloodshot eyes and a
glorious collection of spots but you are shaking so much
that your grandfather probably looks healthier.
Unfortunately you are still too STUPID to know better than
to try to shave while still shaking.
Stage 3 - POOR
Having crawled out of bed and got dressed, you are about to
shamble out the door when you discover that the money that
was to last you the week is now missing from your wallet.
Being STUPID, you have no idea what happened to it but the
traces of pizza on your clothes allow the possibility that
you might have treated everyone to a takeout at some point.
Alternatively your pocket could have been picked or you
might have given the taxi driver a fifty dollar note by
Rationionalizing that you couldn't possibly have been that
STUPID and that you would remember being robbed, you come to
believe that you were the only one who bought any food or
drinks all night and start to loathe all your friends.
Stage 4 - FRAGILE
As you are now STUPID, UGLY and POOR, your consequently
FRAGILE self-esteem plummets. Your already FRAGILE physical
condition ensures that you feel liable to shatter if anyone
even speaks to you.
Stage 5 - CONSPICUOUS
This is the final stage of sobering up. Unfortunately,
everyone can spot this CONSPICUOUS condition and its cause
from a great distance. Even worse, they know that they can
complete your misery by making fun of you, and that you are
too STUPID to retaliate, too FRAGILE to hit them, too POOR
to bribe them and too UGLY to hide.
So any A.netters other than me
Must think up a new one soon, slow moving brain trying to get into gear ;)
Ajd1992 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR: Reply 19, posted (4 years 1 week 23 hours ago) and read 1022 times:
I laugh a lot, fall over and fall asleep, that's about it for me. Alcohol makes me sleep, no matter what I drink. I was at an 18th birthday party on Friday night, I was asleep on the floor by 10:30 because it makes me that drowsy. I had to be revived with water to the face
The worst actual drunken act I've thought about (or not, in this case...) was the most recent New Year's Eve, I decided to streak up and down my house, then my friends locked me outside as the neighbours came out to see the fireworks leading into 2009. I have great friends, don't I?
These are the same friends who coloured me in with permanent marker when I was drunk that night, including my private parts. All I will say is, a nail scrubber can be surprisingly painful when used in inappropriate places... I also had to shave my entire body because it had dyed my body hair, strangely. Sucks to be hairy, doesn't it?