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Divorce Experiences?..  
User currently offlineSTT757 From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 16858 posts, RR: 51
Posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 1 day 5 hours ago) and read 3641 times:

Not to go into detail but I would like to hear some folks divorce experiences, how did it come about. How tough was it, and did things get better after the divorce?.. Is there life after divorce.

FYI..

I'm currently married, no kids.


Eastern Air lines flt # 701, EWR-MCO Boeing 757
45 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineFLY2HMO From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 1, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 3615 times:

I'm just 25 and not married but my parents just had a divorce of sorts. They've been married for over 30 years and my dad decided to move out 3 months ago because he doesn't want to put up with my mom's crap anymore and honestly I don't blame him, she's quite a handful and has MANY issues and I'm very surprised it took him this long to do it. Long story short I've been coping with it well but the one thing I can't stand is living with my mom on my own now. She was and still is devastated by my dads sudden departure (but we all still see each other frequently) so now it was me that had to put up with my moms problems and drama. Not to sound cold but I can only take so much and she has to learn from her mistakes. It's not an "official" divorce and they both pledged to not see anyone else for the time being. But yes there is somewhat of a life. My mom keeps hoping my dad comes back but I don't see that happening. The damage is already done.

Anyways, so obviously you're considering divorce, and seeing you have no kids, that makes things MUCH easier. Assuming she's not a gold digger that wants to keep all your money I believe it would be pretty much like breaking up with a GF, but don't quote me on that.


User currently offlineAaron747 From Japan, joined Aug 2003, 8124 posts, RR: 26
Reply 2, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 3610 times:

My parents were together 12 years before calling it quits over dad's incessant womanizing - my father has been married four times since and just ended #5 with Thai wife #2. The only lesson I learned from all that was that my marriage would never work unless I found a woman into open relationships - fortunately I did.   


If you need someone to blame / throw a rock in the air / you'll hit someone guilty
User currently offlineKappel From Suriname, joined Jul 2005, 3533 posts, RR: 17
Reply 3, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 1 day 4 hours ago) and read 3590 times:

I got divorced myself about three years ago after three years of marriage. We were together for about 10 years and have a daughter. It was really tough for me. For her too she says.... The reason was that we grew apart, she a bit farther than I, lol.

Yes, there's life after divorce. Took me about two years to realize, but there is. And since about a month we have regular contact again and are planning to hang out with our daughter sometime soon. She has had a relationship for about two years already while I'm still single. I wasn't really interested in meeting someone new until recently though. So now we'll see what happens. So far our daughter has been coping pretty well, but she was 7 during the divorce. She's 10 now and we are noticing some changes in her attitude. She blames my ex for the divorce (and rightly so, haha). But so far no big issues.



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User currently offlineTommy767 From United States of America, joined Aug 2003, 6584 posts, RR: 9
Reply 4, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 3531 times:

My parents got divorced when I was 14 and basically broke every promise to keep the communication lines open. Made it a huge burden on me and my sister to communicate between parents. My Mom and Dad were completely oblivious to how hard it was (or still is.)

Currently I'm on good tides with my Dad and his Mother but I'm not on speaking terms with my sister or Mother. My mom is basically a bad person who is crazy and is out to sabotage me. I live in CA and don't go home to NJ very often. Divorce is nasty and has takes an emotional toll on everyone involved. I'll make sure the one I marry is right for me.



"Folks that's the news and I'm outta here!" -- Dennis Miller
User currently offlinecasInterest From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 4577 posts, RR: 2
Reply 5, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 1 day 2 hours ago) and read 3525 times:

Quoting STT757 (Thread starter):
Not to go into detail but I would like to hear some folks divorce experiences, how did it come about. How tough was it, and did things get better after the divorce?.. Is there life after divorce.

I have never been through it, but have seen many do it.
Can't say what your relationship with her afterwords will be, as that depends on the two of you. The fact that you are pondering a divorce tends to indicate that you have less in common than you originally thought.


Good time as any to get out of there if there is a reason to go. . Just be prepared for Alimony if she makes signifigantly less than you and a 50/50 split of the Marital assets.



Older than I just was ,and younger than I will soo be.
User currently offlinevandenheuvel From Netherlands, joined Dec 2008, 495 posts, RR: 2
Reply 6, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 1 day 1 hour ago) and read 3488 times:

My parents divorced when I was 12 years old.

It took my mom only a couple of months to continue her life with another man. (her employer). My dad is still waiting to find a nice lady.

That said, there is life after a divorce. Also for children.

My parents do really fine now. They still see each other and threat each other with some respect. Yet this wouldn't happen if they didn't have children.

I have to say a divorce sometimes is the best thing to do.

[Edited 2010-02-25 12:27:13]

User currently offlinemirrodie From United States of America, joined Apr 2000, 7443 posts, RR: 62
Reply 7, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 1 day ago) and read 3456 times:
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Brings to mind a quote I've seen here.

Remember KROC? IIRC, his profile asked "why is divorce so damn expensive? Cause its worth it."

At the end of the day, that is what it comes down it, isn't it?

I can't say I know directly the answer but I have an in-law who may be contemplating the same. He's barely 6 months married but to a real pill. To give an example, he is real tight with his cash and she is blowing his $$ on $2500 watches. She wanted Acura b/c that is what she's used to but he got her Honda instead. Plus there are other problems that have to deal with his mother and his wife BUT he has yet to grow a pair and put each in their respective places. So its ultimately his problem.

What glows in my mind though is that he made the remark last week to my wife: "yesterday was a good day. I didn't break anything." here this guy is breaking things and punching walls. Not a healthy situation.

In the scenario without kids, I know some great outcomes and I know some terrible outcomes. But I can say the same about scenarios where kids are involved.

One thing to ask: What is life after divorce? Is a friendship wanted? I suppose your question does have to relate to the underlying reason for the divorce.

Quoting FLY2HMO (Reply 1):
My mom keeps hoping my dad comes back but I don't see that happening. The damage is already done.

Sorry to hear.

Quoting FLY2HMO (Reply 1):
They've been married for over 30 years and my dad decided to move out 3 months ago because he doesn't want to put up with my mom's crap anymore

Again, sorry to hear.



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User currently offlinetexan From New Zealand, joined Dec 2003, 4275 posts, RR: 52
Reply 8, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 1 day ago) and read 3428 times:

Quoting Tommy767 (Reply 4):
Divorce is nasty and has takes an emotional toll on everyone involved.

Agreed. I can only add to the childhood side of divorce and what I saw in my parents after the divorce. My parents separated after 20+ years of marriage and two kids. It was mom's first marriage and dad's second. Still don't really know what happened to cause it.

For the kids it is hell. We blame ourselves, try to shoulder the burden, and often try to act as communicators between the parents. This puts us in a very awkward situation. We end up having to be the adults in the situation. When you are the older sibling, you often feel added pressure to "be the man of the house" if your father is no longer in the house. So now you are a kid trying to be a kid, brother, and substitute father, at least a few days per week. It bites at you for years.

As far as my parents, they are both better off not married to each other. One remarried, the other never has. They both seem relatively happy and are civil to each other. It takes a toll if there are kids involved because at least one of the parents is going to be separated from the kids for the majority of the time. Not sure how it is when no kids are involved.

While divorce sucks and is usually painful for everyone involved, it is often for the best. There is life after it for everybody, assuming they want to have a life after divorce.

Texan



"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library."
User currently onlineRevelation From United States of America, joined Feb 2005, 12425 posts, RR: 25
Reply 9, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 3382 times:

Last things first:

Quoting STT757 (Thread starter):
I'm currently married, no kids.

That's a huge factor. As you are reading here, divorce is much more difficult for everyone involved if there are kids.

Quoting STT757 (Thread starter):
how did it come about.

Like Kappel, we grew apart. I wouldn't say it was her more than me, I'd just say it was different ways.

We had a lot of common goals when we started out together, and after ten years they diverged and showed little signs of converging in any sort of a compatible way.

Quoting STT757 (Thread starter):
How tough was it,

I was married for 11 years, and the last two were in crisis mode.

Both of us knew we were growing apart, but were willing to talk (and yes, scream) about it over those two years.

The benefit was that by the end of it we were at peace about why it was ending and what the process would be like.

We didn't have to sort all that out at the lawyer's offices at $$$$/hour.

If you think you can get things to the point where everyone is at peace about what's gonna happen, I do suggest getting a 'do it yourself' divorce kit and doing the paperwork yourself.

Once lawyers are involved things usually change totally, because the lawyers make the most money when things get stretched out.

Quoting STT757 (Thread starter):
did things get better after the divorce?.

Different. If nothing else, a friendship/partnership that lasted for 9 or so years had ended, so I felt that loss.

In our case we remained friendly till she decided to leave town and then she drifted out of my life.

Quoting STT757 (Thread starter):
Is there life after divorce.

Sure. As everything, it is what you make of it.

For the first year or two I really thought the best thing to do was to get into another relationship.

Then one Saturday morning I woke up and realized, hey, no one is pissed off at me!  

I've met several women since I've divorced but I haven't meet one that will take a good amount of responsibility for her own happiness. So I have a few different lady friends that I do things with, but don't get too close because I don't want to be responsible for their happiness. When they get too down and grumpy I skulk away till they start showing some signs of happiness again, and if not, oh well.

If the right one comes along I'd go for it, but I think it's fair to say the pain of a divorce makes you reluctant to try again, and the same can be said for most of the women I know. Thus the match has to be really good for both people to get past their reluctance.

In the mean time, I've been doing dinners, day trips or weekenders with lady friends and we both have a good time almost of the time.

Quoting Tommy767 (Reply 4):
Divorce is nasty and has takes an emotional toll on everyone involved. I'll make sure the one I marry is right for me.

And make sure you keep working at it. Both of you change with time. If you don't work on it all the time you wake up one morning and realize you've drifted apart. If you start sensing the drift, get right on it right away asap before it can't be reversed. If you can't be bothered, then get ready for divorce.

Quoting vandenheuvel (Reply 6):
I have to say a divorce sometimes is the best thing to do.

Indeed. I'd say the same for my parents - it was the best thing for them and for us. OTOH I'm glad my mom chose to stick it out till both me and my brother were in our late teens, since by that age we could both see the unhappiness and come to the realization it was the best thing. That's a lot harder for younger kids to do.



Inspiration, move me brightly!
User currently offlineUltimateDelta From United States of America, joined Sep 2007, 2112 posts, RR: 6
Reply 10, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 22 hours ago) and read 3343 times:

My parents divorced about 5 years ago after 18 years. I guess this was a 'lucky' case (if that's possible) because we still see my dad regularly (who has since remarried) and they still talk to each other. I recall that all the proceedings and things went exceptionally smoothly and I know my dad tried to make it as easy as possible for everyone.

Oh, and we all get along great with my new stepmom, which is always good (Stepsisters...well, it varies   )



Midwest Airlines- 1984-2010
User currently offlineDon81603 From Canada, joined Jul 2005, 1185 posts, RR: 0
Reply 11, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 3299 times:

I got married in March 1991, caught her in bed with a co-worker in Feb 2001. Packed my clothes in 4 duffel bags and walked out the door. A year later, I gave her a second chance. 2 weeks after we started together again, she took a 2 week trip with another coworker. I just walked away, and paid the $645 for the divorce. She wanted to go after half my income, but when I told her she could have it, but she'd have to liquidate all the marital assets, she dropped it fast. Thankfully, we had no kids. Since then, I've traveled some, saved some money, and gotten some decent possessions... The kind I wanted. In the passing of time, I've heard through the grape vine that she has since been remarried, and divorced again (her third). Yes, the divorce was definitely worth it.


Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
User currently offline4holer From United States of America, joined Feb 2002, 3011 posts, RR: 9
Reply 12, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 21 hours ago) and read 3301 times:

I survived mine, though I did have a hard time of it. We also had no kids, and stayed pretty civil through it (not that she deserved civility).
It just takes some time to sort out all the thoughts and emotions you have raging at the same time inside you.
But eventually the stormy seas subside and in the smooth water of the storm's wake you can see yourself again.
And you'll begin to paddle forward.

Looking back at it from almost 6 years space (wow), the woman I thought I'd spend my life with is in the same bin as the ex-girlfriends that preceeded her; a cluster of memories that that I never really think too much about anymore.

Good luck to you.



Ghosts appear and fade away.....................
User currently offlineTommy767 From United States of America, joined Aug 2003, 6584 posts, RR: 9
Reply 13, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 20 hours ago) and read 3264 times:

Quoting Don81603 (Reply 11):
I got married in March 1991, caught her in bed with a co-worker in Feb 2001. Packed my clothes in 4 duffel bags and walked out the door. A year later, I gave her a second chance. 2 weeks after we started together again, she took a 2 week trip with another coworker. I just walked away, and paid the $645 for the divorce.

Thats a shame man. I always had a very bad gut feeling that my Mom cheated on my Dad with another co-worker. I had never called my mom out on cheating until this past christmas over a nasty, blame-filled phone conversation. When I did she didn't say no, she just said "Tommy don't go there, he was a good friend" or something stupid along those lines. Perhaps if my Dad was more with it at the time he could have caught her doing it. My mom started sleeping in a different bed within the same house back in 2001-2002 and she had her little cell phone and would talk to that same guy every night before going to bed. My dad paid the bill back then and he took the cell phone away from her one time and she cursed him out. She was almost caught red handed.

Quoting Revelation (Reply 9):
And make sure you keep working at it. Both of you change with time. If you don't work on it all the time you wake up one morning and realize you've drifted apart. If you start sensing the drift, get right on it right away asap before it can't be reversed. If you can't be bothered, then get ready for divorce.

It's a very important trait to consider with marriage. I'm 22, will be turning 23 in July and already 1 of my friends is married and another one on the way this summer. I hope they are not being foolish and keep the faith going for many years. I always felt after a bad breakup I had with a girlfriend last year that these single-years of being in your early 20s is something to have fun with.

Quoting texan (Reply 8):
For the kids it is hell. We blame ourselves, try to shoulder the burden, and often try to act as communicators between the parents. This puts us in a very awkward situation. We end up having to be the adults in the situation.

I still complain about divorce and the nerve of my Mom for telling me to get over it on several occasions. She never had a clue. Well, that last thing I want is to become a bitter, wretched, man-eating 54 year-old woman that destroyed my family and is only out for herself and nobody else. She's not a happy person deep down inside and thats too bad.



"Folks that's the news and I'm outta here!" -- Dennis Miller
User currently onlineDano1977 From British Indian Ocean Territory, joined Jun 2008, 491 posts, RR: 0
Reply 14, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 20 hours ago) and read 3254 times:

Realised where i went wrong during my marriage... i said "I DO" at the church alter   

Then it all went downhill from then on...



Children should only be allowed on aircraft if 1. Muzzled and heavily sedated 2. Go as freight
User currently offlineaerorobNZ From Rwanda, joined Feb 2001, 7184 posts, RR: 13
Reply 15, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 20 hours ago) and read 3236 times:

I have no intention of ever getting married or having kids, so I don't expect to ever have a divorce experience. I'm a complete whole human being all by myself, and my gf of 2 years is ok with that for the moment. As long as she doesn't get pregnant I should be safe... 

User currently onlineOA412 From United States of America, joined Dec 2000, 5240 posts, RR: 25
Reply 16, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 19 hours ago) and read 3219 times:

Let me first say that I have never been married so this is just my take on dealing with friends and acquaintances who have gone through divorce. I also know a lot of couples who have been married for many, many years who are thoroughly unhappy and should have just called it quits ages ago, but are still in married (in name only) due to children, societal/family pressure, etc. Ultimately, it's a personal decision and each the cost/benefit anaylsis is going to be different for each person. If the marriage is still salveagable, then by all means try and work it out and if you're still not happy, go your separate ways. Honestly, I really do think that, in some cases, divorce really is the best possible solution.

Quoting Aaron747 (Reply 2):
My parents were together 12 years before calling it quits over dad's incessant womanizing - my father has been married four times since and just ended #5 with Thai wife #2. The only lesson I learned from all that was that my marriage would never work unless I found a woman into open relationships - fortunately I did.

Good lord! What I don't understand about people in your father's situation is why women continue to marry them? Do they really think that this time it's going to last?



Hughes Airwest - Top Banana In The West
User currently offlineKiwiinOz From New Zealand, joined Oct 2005, 2165 posts, RR: 5
Reply 17, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 19 hours ago) and read 3183 times:

I married a girl when I was 26 and she was 23. We had been together about 4 years at that point but it never really worked out. We went our seperate ways, amicably after about 2 years. To be honest, I think splitting up came as a relief for both of us. We never had big fights, and there wasn't some defining reason, (like an affair, etc). I think we both just felt we were wasting our time.

I still keep in touch with her quite a lot. A little awkward sometimes but mostly fine. We have a lot of mutual friends.

Since making that decision, life has improved for both of us in a big way. With the benefit of that experience, we both went on to be with people much more suited, and have both started families, (funnily enough, within a few months of each other). I caught up with her in November and were both very pleased to see how happy each other was.

I'm sure it doesn't happen this way every time, but for us, best decision we made was to pull the pin and start over. Don't do it too late.


User currently offlinemirrodie From United States of America, joined Apr 2000, 7443 posts, RR: 62
Reply 18, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 19 hours ago) and read 3178 times:
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Quoting Revelation (Reply 9):
responsibility for her own happiness.

Dude, you have truly earned my respect with that one quote. Years ago I used to run retreats and I did some talks and workshops based on a book called "Happiness is an Inside Job." What is so IMPORTANT is that people take responsibility for their own happiness. And I think that not many people do.

Quoting Don81603 (Reply 11):
She wanted to go after half my income,

Wow, sorry to read that you had to go through that twice and I commend you for giving a second chance, and turning your cheek just once.


Lots of good perspectives in this thread. Also, this thread is proof that many here perhaps may benefit from therapy.



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User currently offlinekmh1956 From Bermuda, joined Jun 2005, 3324 posts, RR: 7
Reply 19, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 18 hours ago) and read 3166 times:

I've been a divorcee longer than I was a married woman...my divorce was, possibly, the best thing to happen to me. My ex was abusive from the first day of the honeymoon (not before that, or course, he thought he was marrying money...HAH!).
Granted, most of the abuse was emotional/mental, but there was a black eye that to this day I can''t explain...

When we separated, we had a 5-year-old daughter. You really have to weigh up whether or not your child would be better in a household with two parents who fight all the time or in a household with just one of those parents, and no fighting...

Fortunately, I got out of my marriage alive...



'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
User currently offlineSTT757 From United States of America, joined Mar 2000, 16858 posts, RR: 51
Reply 20, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 3143 times:

Quoting mirrodie (Reply 18):
I did some talks and workshops based on a book called "Happiness is an Inside Job." What is so IMPORTANT is that people take responsibility for their own happiness. And I think that not many people do.

Could you expand more on this?..



Eastern Air lines flt # 701, EWR-MCO Boeing 757
User currently offlineHAWK21M From India, joined Jan 2001, 31679 posts, RR: 56
Reply 21, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 12 hours ago) and read 3050 times:

listening to the posts ...... I just feel real bad for the kids involved.Why do Parents not live for their kids....A small sacrifice for a few years until they are grown up.Noticed one partner will be unfaithfull & why.
If you don't like someone why get into it.....if there are kids involved.Think of the kid first before betraying your partner.
I don't blame the Innocent partner though.

I guess people like to live their ways..........

A Happy kid is worth more than gold....My opinion.

regds
MEL.



Think of the brighter side!
User currently offlineKappel From Suriname, joined Jul 2005, 3533 posts, RR: 17
Reply 22, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 11 hours ago) and read 3034 times:

Quoting Revelation (Reply 9):
If you start sensing the drift, get right on it right away asap before it can't be reversed. If you can't be bothered, then get ready for divorce.

Couldn't agree more.

Quoting 4holer (Reply 12):
It just takes some time to sort out all the thoughts and emotions you have raging at the same time inside you.
But eventually the stormy seas subside and in the smooth water of the storm's wake you can see yourself again.
And you'll begin to paddle forward.

Very well put, it sounds very familiar.

Quoting Tommy767 (Reply 13):
I always felt after a bad breakup I had with a girlfriend last year that these single-years of being in your early 20s is something to have fun with.

Agreed, I really don't get those folks that get married before they even hit 20. You're just way too young. I got married at 26 and in hindsight, that was even too early (for me).

Quoting mirrodie (Reply 18):
What is so IMPORTANT is that people take responsibility for their own happiness

Agreed, that is something I learned after the divorce. I always thought I need a woman to be happy. I was wrong! Now I am happy by myself, so now I am ready for a new relationship.

Quoting HAWK21M (Reply 21):
A Happy kid is worth more than gold....My opinion.

I agree, I always blamed my ex that she didn't seem to think about the consequences for our daughter at all. Only recently did she admit she should have done more to save the marriage. But now it's too late... no way in hell I'd take her back!!



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User currently offlineKiwiinOz From New Zealand, joined Oct 2005, 2165 posts, RR: 5
Reply 23, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 10 hours ago) and read 3015 times:

Quoting HAWK21M (Reply 21):
listening to the posts ...... I just feel real bad for the kids involved.Why do Parents not live for their kids....A small sacrifice for a few years until they are grown up.Noticed one partner will be unfaithfull & why.
If you don't like someone why get into it.....if there are kids involved.Think of the kid first before betraying your partner.
I don't blame the Innocent partner though.

I guess people like to live their ways..........

A Happy kid is worth more than gold....My opinion.

An interesting and common approach. Not one I had to consider as we didn't have kids

However, staying together for the sake of the kids is not without it's own risks. It depends on how far/badly the relationship has deteriorated, and the subsequent ability of the parents to maintain a positive family environment.

I definitely have friends from homes where I really feel they would have been better off had the parents divorced, rather than try and hold it together. If someone's early perception of a loving partnership is formed by observing their parents, then surely this can be negatively affected by a pair of parents putting on a "show"

I think every case would be different when considering this. If the situation is fairly amicable and merely a case of things fizzling out, I would be inclined to stick together for the kids. If it's more a case of wanting to rip your own eyes out with a fork whenever you see your partner, probably better to split up, despite the kids.


User currently offlineseb146 From United States of America, joined Nov 1999, 11576 posts, RR: 15
Reply 24, posted (4 years 5 months 4 weeks 5 hours ago) and read 2945 times:

I am the child of divorced parents, technically. My parents never should have stayed together as long as they did, anyway. Their divorce was finalized in early 2001. They split in 1994 and lived in separate apartments all that time. They got on much better, during that time. For a few years, they even worked together. They were adult about the whole thing, too. They never pitted my brothers and I against them. As divorce goes, I had a good experience. I was not living with either one of them and one of my brothers got married (and still is) during that time. There was a lot going on that a councelor would have been a great help with. Mom would call me and complain about stuff that dad would do, but I never felt it was my place to say anything to him. She would always start her calls with "I just want someone to listen..." I took her at her word. Sometimes, I would simply put down the phone and walk away while she was talking.

I read these letters in Dear Abby and other advice columns where the kids hear divorced parents complain about the other parent, then the child goes running to the other parent and says "Guess what dad/mom just said about you!" I think that adds way too much stress to any separation. Yes, I am suggesting that, sometimes, the kids bring on the drama.



Life in the wall is a drag.
25 Post contains images Tu204 : I'll add a bit of humour to this otherwise sad topic: I am getting married tomorrow, in about 14 hours...My soon to be wife just saw me reading this t
26 FLY2HMO : My dad confessed to me he would have divorced much earlier if it wasn't because of me and my brother. The way I look at it it's a loose-loose situati
27 mirrodie : Some years ago, while I was dating this girl, I had read that book. Ironically, the more I read it, the more I realized that the person I was then da
28 Post contains images chrisair : Does anyone know why divorces are so expensive? ..... Because they're worth it.
29 Post contains images Don81603 : Famous last words... Said them myself, many times. "I ain't getting married, I'll just date until I die". Yeah, okay... Great plan, but the plan is u
30 WN700Driver : No such animal. When it comes to divorce/marriage, it really does take two people to truly f things up. Yeah, I got type rated in a debbie downer lik
31 FLY2HMO : I'm not too sure about that one. That's certainly not the case with my parents. Sure my dad isn't perfect but I say my mom has at LEAST 80% of the bl
32 TPA36R : However if your dad would have taken the time to really know that this was the issue before marrying your mother, you wouldn't be here would you? Now
33 Post contains images WN700Driver : You might be right. But I tell myself otherwise, so's I don't get all self righteous about my particular case, which from what my lawyer tells me, is
34 Post contains images FLY2HMO : True. I mean my mom was the one that proposed to my dad basically, even I know that would be a weird sign, and I'm much much less experienced in rega
35 OA412 : There are definitely a lot of overly dramatic men, but as someone whose coworkers are roughly 75% female, I can definitely vouch for the fact that so
36 KiwiinOz : I think it was Rod Stewart that once said, "Next time I'm considering getting married, rather than waste time I will just go out and find a woman tha
37 type-rated : And in some financial situations it's "cheaper to keep her".
38 Post contains images WildcatYXU : I agree too. I went trough a "near divorce experience" last year. We really grew apart in last few years and we were on the verge of calling it quits
39 Aaron747 : He's been madly in love with just about all of them - he just doesn't have the ability to close his heart to more I suppose. Though in fairness to hi
40 Post contains images HAWK21M : Congrats...Maybe this thread can be an influence on you both not to make the same mistakes other couples have not to sure that can be stated as ideal
41 Post contains images aerorobNZ : I'm not the serial dating type, and I don't believe in marriage, it's a religious ritual and if I chose to have a non-religious ceremony there would
42 Post contains links and images mirrodie : Already noted Clever choice of words. Lots of pearls of wisdom here for the OP to consider. That said, I found a link to the book I mentioned. I read
43 Revelation : I'd put it another way. People change an awful lot in their 20s. It's really for both people to go through these changes and still be compatible with
44 mirrodie : Honestly, I think Revelation may have read the book I set forth. Its been years since I read it but I took away a few basics tenets from it that reall
45 theredbaron : Correct, when kids are involved things get nasty most of the time. That sums it up. Divorce makes a lot of kids miserable. Man! that is the best insi
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