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Los Angelas Drivers Exam  
User currently offlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 40298 posts, RR: 73
Posted (14 years 3 weeks 5 days 19 hours ago) and read 1382 times:

Some may have already seen this.  Smile

For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California,
here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who
do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and
culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the
California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special
application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan
Stage name: ____________________
Agent:___________________ Attorney:_______________________
Therapist name:_________________
Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male ___formerly female ____both
*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a
motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___
Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
*If you don't own a cell phone, please explain:________________________
Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead

Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / Reloading

Please indicate how many times

a) you expect to shoot at other drivers _____
b) how many times you expect to be shot at while driving _____

If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:

a) Call the police to report the crime.
b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the
news in a high-speed chase.
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company
for 911 call not going through.
d) Call your therapist.

In the event of an earthquake, you should :

a) stop your car
b) keep driving and hope for the best.
c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.

In the instance of rain, you should:

a) never drive over 5 MPH.
b) drive twice as fast as usual.
c) you're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ______.

Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
a) Prozac
b) Zovirax
c) Lithium
d) Zanax
e) Valium
f) Zoloft
g) All of the above
h) None of the above
*If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:

a) Less than 1 hour
b) 1 hour
c) 2 hours
d) 3 hours
e) 4 hours or more
* If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.

When stopped by police, you should:

a) pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready.
b) try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway.
c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus
yourself of a hefty lawsuit.

When turning, you should always signal your intentions by:

a) using your directional signals.
b) what is a "directional signal"?

Which part of your car will wear out most often?

a) the wiper blades
b) the belts
c) the horn

The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:

a) dark, poorly lit roads
b) flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
c) revenge!

Your rear view mirror is for:

a) watching for approaching cars
b) watching for approaching police cars
c) checking your hair

Bring back the Concorde
8 replies: All unread, jump to last
User currently offlineTbar220 From United States of America, joined Feb 2000, 7013 posts, RR: 23
Reply 1, posted (14 years 3 weeks 5 days 19 hours ago) and read 1362 times:

ROFL, that's hilarious! Great stuff  Big thumbs up

NO URLS in signature
User currently offlineCcrlR From United States of America, joined Aug 2001, 2334 posts, RR: 0
Reply 2, posted (14 years 3 weeks 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 1352 times:
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LOL My cousin in California is getting his drivers licence and I'll ask and tell him about this. This is funny and it's real.

"He was right, it is a screaming metal deathtrap!"-Cosmo (from the Fairly Oddparents)
User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 3, posted (14 years 3 weeks 5 days 18 hours ago) and read 1342 times:

Wow, this is just as funny as it was when I first saw it 5 years ago! And about 100 times since them too.

User currently offlineSuperfly From Thailand, joined May 2000, 40298 posts, RR: 73
Reply 4, posted (14 years 3 weeks 5 days 16 hours ago) and read 1324 times:

Some of us are a little behind the times.  Smile

Have you heard this new Rap group called Rakim?  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

Bring back the Concorde
User currently offlineKROC From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 5, posted (14 years 3 weeks 5 days 7 hours ago) and read 1298 times:

HAHA. Now that was funny Superfly. Much better than theoriginal joke1  Big thumbs up

User currently offlineAirsicknessbag From Germany, joined Aug 2000, 4723 posts, RR: 31
Reply 6, posted (14 years 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1293 times:

There´s an alternative missing in the "sex" line: [] Yes, please

Daniel Smile

P.S.: Being more serious, what´s wrong with Zovirax? OK, the others are tranquilisers/psychpharmaka, but I don´t get the what´s funny about Zovirax. (Genuine question)

User currently offlineMarco From United Arab Emirates, joined Jul 2000, 4170 posts, RR: 11
Reply 7, posted (14 years 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1292 times:

LOL Great post Superfly!  Smile/happy/getting dizzy

Is LA really that superficial? It almost reminds me of Dubai!

Proud to be an Assyrian!
User currently offlineMika From Sweden, joined Jul 2000, 2926 posts, RR: 3
Reply 8, posted (14 years 3 weeks 5 days 6 hours ago) and read 1292 times:

LMAO!  Big thumbs up  Big thumbs up


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