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David Beckham Jokes  
User currently offlineSaintsman From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2002, 2065 posts, RR: 2
Posted (12 years 4 months 1 week 8 hours ago) and read 1736 times:

Firstly I admit he is up with the best in footballing terms but you have to admit there are an awful lot of jokes about him. I heard this one this morning:

David Beckham is invited as a guest speaker at a function. He is introduced to the crowd and begins to read his speech:

"They are very compact and are nicely packaged. There are lots of different flavours and Victoria likes them as well because they only have two calories...."

"Psst", David is silently interrupted by the host. " David! You're supposed to be talking about 'tac-tics'!"

Let's have your favourites.


9 replies: All unread, jump to last
 
User currently offlineArsenal@LHR From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2001, 7792 posts, RR: 20
Reply 1, posted (12 years 4 months 1 week 7 hours ago) and read 1717 times:
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LMAO!! Big grin, that was funny!

Arsenal@LHR



In Arsene we trust!!
User currently offlineMcringring From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 2, posted (12 years 4 months 1 week 7 hours ago) and read 1711 times:

Oooohhh, nothing like a good soccer joke to start off the day...  Big grin

User currently offlineArsenal@LHR From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2001, 7792 posts, RR: 20
Reply 3, posted (12 years 4 months 1 week 7 hours ago) and read 1707 times:
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More like "football"  Big thumbs up

Arsenal@LHR



In Arsene we trust!!
User currently offlineMcringring From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 4, posted (12 years 4 months 1 week 7 hours ago) and read 1702 times:

Football Joke:

Q: What do birthday candles and the Buffalo Bills have in common?

A: They get blown out on the same day every year.


Soccer joke:

A soccer hooligan appeared in court charged with disorderly conduct and assault. The arresting officer, giving evidence, stated that the accused had thrown something into the canal. `What exactly was it that he threw into the canall' asked the magistrate.

'Stones, sir.'

'Well, that's hardly an offence is it?'

'It was in this case, sir,' said the police officer. 'Stones was the referee.'



User currently offlineSilverfox From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2001, 1058 posts, RR: 0
Reply 5, posted (12 years 4 months 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 1675 times:

Heard on the Parsons and Naylor show
R4 thurs repeated r2 Sat lunch

Posh and Becks said they are going to stick together through thick and thin

Shes thin..............


User currently offlineSilverfox From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2001, 1058 posts, RR: 0
Reply 6, posted (12 years 4 months 6 days 23 hours ago) and read 1667 times:

Posh and Becks had just returned from New York shopping
Becks was asked where they went?
Oh he says i can recall the name of a railway station
the interviewer assisted
Kings Cross?
NO
Euston?
No
Paddington?
No
Victoria
Yea thats it
Victoria, Where did we go shopping?


User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11953 posts, RR: 46
Reply 7, posted (12 years 4 months 6 days 13 hours ago) and read 1640 times:

Donæt know any Beckham jokes, but I've known this one since I was 5.

Q: What is the difference between Liverpool and a teabag?

A: The teabag stays longer in the cup.

I also know the Beckham, football, Stan Collymore joke, but I've already told it twice, so if you haven't heared it yet, tough luck.  Big grin

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlineThom@s From Norway, joined Oct 2000, 11953 posts, RR: 46
Reply 8, posted (12 years 4 months 6 days 12 hours ago) and read 1632 times:

Just found sone Beckham quotes.

"I want Brooklyn to be christened (sp?) but I'm not sure of what kind of religion it will be."

"My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was 7."

"Alex Ferguson is the manager I've had on this level. Actually he is the only manager on this level, but he is the best manager I've had."

But hey, he knows how to shoot a ball. Big grin

Thom@s



"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
User currently offlinePaulc From United Kingdom, joined Mar 2001, 1490 posts, RR: 0
Reply 9, posted (12 years 4 months 6 days 10 hours ago) and read 1618 times:

Sir Alex Ferguson is on who wants to be a millionaire and it is a the final quesition. The question is which animal lives in a sett A) badger B)rabbit c) Fox D) Cuckoo. Fergie is stumped so uses 50/50 which gets rid of B & C. He is still unsure so he uses pfone a friend and get david beckham.
Beckham is 100% sure that the answer is A so fergie goes for A and wins the money.

Next day at training fergie asks beckham why he was so certain it was not cuckoo - 'easy' says beckham 'everybody knows they live in clocks'  Smile



English First, British Second, european Never!
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