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Malawi Bans Flatulence - Hard To Pinpoint Source  
User currently offlinecomorin From United States of America, joined May 2005, 4900 posts, RR: 16
Posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 4577 times:

Malawi has decided to make the passing of wind a crime. Trouble is, it's hard to locate the offender in a group, leading to human rights violations.

From the Daily Mail:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...-set-make-breaking-wind-crime.html

49 replies: All unread, showing first 25:
 
User currently offlineoldeuropean From Germany, joined May 2005, 2091 posts, RR: 4
Reply 1, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 17 hours ago) and read 4571 times:

Hmm, I have a new business concept. Export corks to Africa.   


Wer nichts weiss muss alles glauben
User currently offlinen229nw From United States of America, joined Sep 2004, 1962 posts, RR: 32
Reply 2, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 16 hours ago) and read 4530 times:

Oh, brother. There is no way I can ever go to Malawi then! I'd be put to death...


It's people like you what cause unrest!
User currently offlineMir From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 21701 posts, RR: 55
Reply 3, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 15 hours ago) and read 4505 times:

So, will "he who smelt it dealt it" be an accepted defense?

-Mir



7 billion, one nation, imagination...it's a beautiful day
User currently offlinecomorin From United States of America, joined May 2005, 4900 posts, RR: 16
Reply 4, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 14 hours ago) and read 4424 times:

I would be careful about doing this at night as it could give away your position in the jungle.

User currently offlineSlider From United States of America, joined Feb 2004, 6865 posts, RR: 34
Reply 5, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 14 hours ago) and read 4415 times:

You're shitting me right? This is actually an article from The Onion, right? HAS TO BE.

User currently offlineALTF4 From United States of America, joined Jul 2010, 1214 posts, RR: 4
Reply 6, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 14 hours ago) and read 4413 times:

Quoting Slider (Reply 5):
You're shitting me right?

I ain't shitting anywhere or anybody over there - if farting is banned, think of the stink shitting makes!



The above post is my opinion. Don't like it? Don't read it.
User currently offlineandz From South Africa, joined Feb 2004, 8455 posts, RR: 10
Reply 7, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 13 hours ago) and read 4376 times:
Support Airliners.net - become a First Class Member!

Let's not forget that this is a country where long hair on males used to be a crime too, they would cut your hair at the airport if you wanted to come in!


After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF...
User currently offlineDocLightning From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 19965 posts, RR: 59
Reply 8, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 12 hours ago) and read 4359 times:

Wow, you're all raising quite a stink about this.

But I agree, it is a stinker of a law.

Something about it just doesn't smell right to me.

Must really stink to be a Malawian.

I hope the government clears the air on this issue quickly!

(Someone else take it from here!)


User currently offlinetugger From United States of America, joined Apr 2006, 5676 posts, RR: 10
Reply 9, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 12 hours ago) and read 4342 times:

And here I thought most nations wanted to exploit their domestic gas reserves!

I mean think of the energy they will be wasting, this type of gas can seriously propel many people quickly (usually in an effort to leave the immediate area).

Perhaps they feel that by restricting the issuance of domestic gas they will have greater reserves to protect against a future threat.

Tugg



I don’t know that I am unafraid to be myself, but it is hard to be somebody else. -W. Shatner
User currently offlineMir From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 21701 posts, RR: 55
Reply 10, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 12 hours ago) and read 4327 times:

Quoting tugger (Reply 9):
And here I thought most nations wanted to exploit their domestic gas reserves!

        

Well, to be fair, the US also has a history of placing legal restrictions on natural gas producers.

-Mir



7 billion, one nation, imagination...it's a beautiful day
User currently offlinePPVRA From Brazil, joined Nov 2004, 8969 posts, RR: 39
Reply 11, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 12 hours ago) and read 4312 times:

Malawi's Clean Air Act?


"If goods do not cross borders, soldiers will" - Frederic Bastiat
User currently offlineLAXintl From United States of America, joined May 2000, 25794 posts, RR: 50
Reply 12, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 11 hours ago) and read 4293 times:

About time someone deals with basic quality of life issues.

Its one of man kinds worst direct consequences, and goes without focus while nations are too busy playing cops around the world and our brightest brains are too busy developing things like the iPad.



From the desert to the sea, to all of Southern California
User currently offlineMir From United States of America, joined Jan 2004, 21701 posts, RR: 55
Reply 13, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 11 hours ago) and read 4257 times:

Quoting LAXintl (Reply 12):
About time someone deals with basic quality of life issues.

Surely you can't be serious.

-Mir



7 billion, one nation, imagination...it's a beautiful day
User currently offlineDocLightning From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 19965 posts, RR: 59
Reply 14, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 11 hours ago) and read 4253 times:

Quoting Mir (Reply 13):

Surely you can't be serious.

I think he's just blowing some smoke...


User currently offlinetugger From United States of America, joined Apr 2006, 5676 posts, RR: 10
Reply 15, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 11 hours ago) and read 4252 times:

Quoting DocLightning (Reply 14):
I think he's just blowing some smoke...

In this case the question is where is the smoke getting blown, up or from.

Quoting LAXintl (Reply 12):
About time someone deals with basic quality of life issues.

Doesn't the recent California "Clean Air" bill deal with release on methane from biological sources?

Tugg



I don’t know that I am unafraid to be myself, but it is hard to be somebody else. -W. Shatner
User currently offlineLAXintl From United States of America, joined May 2000, 25794 posts, RR: 50
Reply 16, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 9 hours ago) and read 4196 times:

Quoting Mir (Reply 13):
Surely you can't be serious.
Quoting DocLightning (Reply 14):
I think he's just blowing some smoke...

Sure, but in the grand scale of things, I do wonder why mankind does not dedicate our vast knowledge and resources to working on such a basic quality of life issue.

For instance whether its via food supplements, or required carbon filter linings in our under garments surely something can be done.



From the desert to the sea, to all of Southern California
User currently offlineAaron747 From Japan, joined Aug 2003, 8184 posts, RR: 26
Reply 17, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 9 hours ago) and read 4188 times:

Quoting LAXintl (Reply 16):
Sure, but in the grand scale of things, I do wonder why mankind does not dedicate our vast knowledge and resources to working on such a basic quality of life issue.

Why stop there? Let's just eliminate consumption of solid foods and just take astronaut horse pills?   Would be better for the cardiovascular system for sure??



If you need someone to blame / throw a rock in the air / you'll hit someone guilty
User currently offlinetugger From United States of America, joined Apr 2006, 5676 posts, RR: 10
Reply 18, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 9 hours ago) and read 4188 times:

Quoting LAXintl (Reply 16):
Sure, but in the grand scale of things, I do wonder why mankind does not dedicate our vast knowledge and resources to working on such a basic quality of life issue.

Because when you get right down to it, we all really enjoy the .... ahem... "scent" of our own flatulence.... Of course no one else but the owner can truly appreciate when one rips a truly great one. 

Tugg



I don’t know that I am unafraid to be myself, but it is hard to be somebody else. -W. Shatner
User currently offlinelhr380 From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 19, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 9 hours ago) and read 4183 times:

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

That explains my mates facebook status from earlier. Wondered why he wanted to go release some gas there lol


User currently offlineAAORY From United States of America, joined Aug 2008, 47 posts, RR: 0
Reply 20, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 9 hours ago) and read 4178 times:

Quoting Mir (Reply 13):
Surely you can't be serious.

And stop calling him Shirley.

Sorry, couldn't resist.



33 countries visited and counting...
User currently offlineShyFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 21, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 9 hours ago) and read 4173 times:

Quoting DocLightning (Reply 8):
(Someone else take it from here!)

This law blows.


If you cough to cover up someone's fart, would you be charged as an accessory to the crime?

Would blaming the dog be an acceptable legal defense?

What about accidental releases? You know, like a snart.

I think the Beano people are behind this law.


Ok, that's all I have. My humor machine has run out of gas.

[Edited 2011-01-31 15:59:17]

User currently offlineScarletHarlot From Canada, joined Jul 2003, 4673 posts, RR: 56
Reply 22, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 8 hours ago) and read 4163 times:

Quoting DocLightning (Reply 8):
(Someone else take it from here!)

Doc, don't toot your own horn!



But that was when I ruled the world
User currently offlineDocLightning From United States of America, joined Nov 2005, 19965 posts, RR: 59
Reply 23, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 7 hours ago) and read 4124 times:

Is "pull my finger" entrapment?

I am hereby hijacking this thread and turning it into a "who farted?" thread. (It's not even really off-topic!)

http://www.skeptically.org/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/who-farted.jpg


User currently offlineShyFlyer From , joined Dec 1969, posts, RR:
Reply 24, posted (3 years 8 months 4 weeks 7 hours ago) and read 4112 times:




How about some more beans, Mr Taggart?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpB3ME_Xem0


Farts are good for the environment...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfABnAS5i9Q


25 Mir : Is it really a quality of life issue? I will readily admit that I have never encountered a situation where I have had to alter anything I do due to b
26 tugger : OK the second pic makes me wonder: What happens when one "flatulates" in a mosque? .... because we all know that: "Fart Happens" (maybe that should b
27 FlyDeltaJets87 : What about old people who wear "Depends" and shat themselves? It will certainly smell like they farted, but can they be charged? (And the stench of be
28 DocLightning : This is just an excerpt from a literature review: Flatulence — The volume of gas passed per rectum varies from about 500 to 1500 mL per day [3]. Th
29 Post contains links and images DocLightning : To return to the important topic at hand:
30 Post contains images Revelation : My money's on "Phil The Greek"! Stiff upper lip, indeed! I just got off the phone with the Malawi office of Furtz & Ripschitz, Esq. After much an
31 Post contains links Quokka : As in the words of a famous poem: "The dog shat in the tuckerbox, nine miles from Gundegai" http://www.gundagai.nsw.gov.au/library/4469/4645.html
32 stratosphere : Jesus F'ng Christ as if Africa doesn't have enough problems. They should hope all they have to worry about is farts..Give me strength....Its no wonder
33 Revelation : Try to hang on, Stratosphere!
34 Post contains images KPDX : Hahahaha. My face definitely hurts after reading this thread.
35 comorin : Perhaps they could all join an Oompah Band...Oktoberfest in Malawi?
36 Post contains links and images Mir : Of course, this sort of thread is useless without videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVWhR2bgrUo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5lavU8XI04 And,
37 Post contains links and images DocLightning : I mean, as long as you went there: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HYTd1DTbik&feature=related "Why are you WHISTLING? I can see the bubbles comin
38 Post contains links and images ManuCH : I wonder how much they're paying the poor guy working in medical research to get together the statistics stating that "pads remove only 55 to 77 perc
39 DocLightning : You don't want to be stuck in the exhaust, do you?
40 tugger : Perhaps a new device will be created to make the task easier, it might spawn an entirely new class of farting. It could be called the: iFart. Is there
41 DocLightning : Woooh... If I were in Malawi right now I'd just have received a life sentence.
42 SW733 : Having been to Malawi a few times, I can confirm that it's really, truly a problem! The whole place just smells like ass... I wouldn't mind them bring
43 Post contains images Revelation : They just called back. After further research, they've found out that this is the aggravated form of the offense, known in legal jargon as "Piling On
44 Post contains images UltimateDelta : Sadly..................yes, there actually is. Sorry. Back off-topic...
45 Post contains images SW733 : They feast on your hopes and dreams And maize
46 Post contains links Mir : Yes, there is. And it is, in fact, called iFart. And the makers of iFart have sued the makes of a competing fart app, called Pull My Finger. http://n
47 Post contains images DocLightning : (I can raise the dead)
48 ShyFlyer : It's available for download on iToots.
49 Revelation : I'm glad we aired that out.
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